FREE DIVERS ANONYMOUS @freediversanonymous-blog - Tumblr Blog

Why not just have one good fuck instead of a bunch of sorry drunken makeouts? It's not like stocks where you have to put all your eggs in different baskets. You can just zone in.

#amazing

#internets

The vastness of the universe and the threat of the approaching singularity keep me up at night. Just saying.

Ice Cream Buddy

I'm really looking forward to the last bite of ice cream, but the dog looks like she wants it more. From across the room, I try not to make eye contact, betting she'll get distracted and move along. I move slowly, trying not to bring more attention to myself. I underestimate her. At eight months old, she senses my lumbering thoughts and clumsily gallops to where I'm sitting on the couch. She knows that my hesitation in devouring that last bite (as she would do given the chance), means that she's won. She sits next to me, getting excited, anticipating what's next. I want to tell her to go away, that I would have considered sharing if she hadnt woken me up 14 minutes before the alarm was set to go off this morning...but I can't. She's now rotating through all the tricks she knows, trying to impress me. I give up. I hold out my Popsicle stick. It's gone before she has a chance to taste it. It's a good thing she's cute.

#suburban battles

I eat like a free diver. I go as deep as I can and stay down as long as I can.

#lunch

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FREE DIVERS ANONYMOUS