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@freespierit
Sometimes it's fascinating to me what people consider to be an unfair/black-and-white/extreme interpretation of a character.
Specifically in this case, my interpretation of Feanor is basically that he is a clinical narcissist. Full-on Narcissistic Personality Disorder, if the Silm were in the modern day his kids would be some of the top posters on r/raisedbynarcissists. He absolutely treats his kids as extensions of himself, that's classic narcissistic behavior and frankly depressingly common. It's not an extreme or unrealistic interpretation, it's something that happens all the time in real life.
Look at the symptoms the Mayo clinic lists, Feanor basically exhibits every single one of them:
Have an exaggerated sense of self-importance
Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration
Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it
Exaggerate achievements and talents
Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate
Believe they are superior and can only associate with equally special people
Monopolize conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior
Expect special favors and unquestioning compliance with their expectations
Take advantage of others to get what they want
Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others
Be envious of others and believe others envy them
Behave in an arrogant or haughty manner, coming across as conceited, boastful and pretentious
Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the best car or office
At the same time, people with narcissistic personality disorder have trouble handling anything they perceive as criticism, and they can:
Become impatient or angry when they don't receive special treatment
Have significant interpersonal problems and easily feel slighted
React with rage or contempt and try to belittle the other person to make themselves appear superior
Have difficulty regulating emotions and behavior
Experience major problems dealing with stress and adapting to change
Feel depressed and moody because they fall short of perfection
Have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, vulnerability and humiliation
Like, yes Feanor was actually extraordinary and talented and etc., but he clearly did not have the slightest ounce of humility or self-awareness about his own limitations. People throw around "good" and "evil" like those are categories you can meaningfully sort whole people into but I'm not arguing for either, just saying that Feanor was terminally self-absorbed and suffered from a crippling case of Main Character Syndrome.
Do I think his childhood/Finwe's parenting (or lack of) had something to do with it? Sure, but by the time he was an adult, married, and considering having children he should have gotten his shit together. You can't tell me Valinor doesn't have therapy (hi Este!) or that none of the elves who were born at Cuvienen and/or made The Great Journey lost parents.
If we're friends, our OCs are also friends. Sorry I don't make the rules.
Wip Wednesday is all about the sash of Celebrian
Everything is self made by hand embroidery and beading
Sigil design by @squirrelwrangler thank you for letting me use it 💕
“Our pilot-knight of water,” Findis said. “The other leg, the other flavor of support. His adaptability. He who tries to excel in the strengths of others and does not see his own. An excellent archer, empathetic to others but hides from himself in a delusion of unearned confidence. Flirts outrageously.”
“Basing this on someone?” Heledir asked. Findis’s quick answer killed his grin.
“Yes.”
Mindful of the seriousness of Findis’s abrupt answer, Heledir asked who.
“Uilon, my childhood friend. The second of Eärwen’s older brothers. You would have known him from the family visits, but he was not as close to his sister as Elentulwë. Uilon was the tall one with narrow eyes who loved to joke around.”
“He was the son of Olwë who was given a father-name to honor Elu Singollo, wasn’t he?”
Findis nodded. “His death during the Kinslaying was seen by the Teleri as the clearest omen that any talk from the Exiles about a motivation to save their left-behind kin was the self-serving lies that they knew it to be.”
“We did,” Heledir stammered, “we did help.”
Findis tilted her head, mouth flat and blue eyes softening to dispassion instead of enraged disgust. “Some of you, yes. Some of my kin. But no resident of Alqualondë was the least surprised at the accounts that Lady Elwing shared of the second and third acts of Kinslaying.”
“I did not know that you and Uilon were close,” Heledir said.
Findis laughed. “He proposed to me, you know.”
“What!”
Forcing giggles into her hand, Findis basked in Heledir’s outrage. “A terrible flirt, I told you. And we were of similar age and social background. His feelings for me were the infatuation of wanting to be in love bolstered by our mutual friendship, and this was before I knew that my heart would not turn in desire for marriage with anyone else.”
“Was he disappointed?” Heledir asked.
Findis shrugged. “Once he understood that my rejection was not a rejection of him. That I was like Ulmo, that I sought no spouse. He has returned from the Halls, and the three of us must have an outing together soon, for he is wonderfully funny and your sense of humor is compatible. When you next plan to visit Edrahil and Maiwë, we shall call on him.”
“I remember him,” Heledir said, smiling. “Was he a terrible artist or just trying to amuse his nephews?”
“Uilon? By the stars, no. Did he really attempt one of his famous landscapes again?”
“It was …a young child with finger paints could do better. The rainbow was a ..creative touch.”
“Lalwen framed his portrait of her favorite horse. That’s what the brown blob in her music room is.”
“I always thought that was one of Aunt Nerdanel’s strange abstract studies, one of those incomprehensible representations of a quality of sound. Some deeply philosophical statement that only a Vanya studying the intricacies of the Song would understand.”
“Nope. Uilon’s best effort at portraying Lalwen’s prize jumper.”
Heledir winced. “The ..thing had nine legs. Maybe, if those were supposed to be legs.”
Findis sighed. “I would ask you to give him pointers, but no amount of instruction could rehabilitate that drawing…talent. I dared him to show Fëanor his painting once, just to see the temper tantrum. I think what most offended him was that Uilon had a keen eye and could understand diagrams and complicated tools. Uilon designed the improvements for the stern-mounted rudder that the Falmari ships use.”
“Quick at poetry, too, wasn’t he?”
“Had King Olwë’s taste for wretched puns.”
Thanks to reading The Queen’s Thief series and a discussion with @freespierit:
The visitors to Tol Galen, for the most part out of politeness and hero-struck awe, tended not to bring up Beren’s missing hand. But the mortal man did not hide the disfigurement or that some motions were adjusted to cope around the lack of his right hand. He did not wear the vaulted ring on his left hand but on a cord around his neck, as it was too much a hassle to remove otherwise. The story of how he became Erchamion was famous, the songs and stories impossible to escape, and it would have been ridiculous to pretend that he had both. Still, most visitors tried to not stare rudely at the stump on the right as Beren gestured broadly while reciting a story about how their young son, Dior, had startled the bats that crowded the island for safety.
One guest, thinking to offer comforting hope, made mention of Maedhros and how he had returned to fighting form, fiercer than before, despite his similar injury.
Lúthien’s grey eyes flashed at the name, but Beren laughed.
“Have I told you about my two best friends, growing up as a boy in Ladros?” the man asked, smile lines and imbedded furrows from pain fighting for dominance on his face, making the mortal man look older than his years. “Urthel and Gorlim. You know their names from the songs, of course. Urthel had a boy that he took in, adopted as son or younger brother or just as this goodwill gesture. The boy’s name was Sícrum; no songs remember him, unfortunately. Urthel’s sister, Eilinel, who married Gorlim, had badly broken her leg and hip in an accident and the leg never healed to the same length, which made walking painful for her. Urthel took in Sícrum out of pity, because Sícrum was born with only one working arm, to help out his sister and because the boy reminded him of her.” Beren raised his right arm ruefully. “It was an act of pity at first, Urthel admitted, but he loved Sícrum as if his was flesh and blood, and so did Eilinel and Gorlim. And Sícrum managed without a second hand his entire life, knew exactly what he could do and what he could not, and how to adjust so that he could do things that others thought he could not- and Gorlim and Eilinel loved him like a son and were the proudest parents you ever met not because of well Sícrum coped but because that boy was clever and kind and would have been our most trusted advisor as a man grown.”
Beren sighed and continued. “I asked, when the Valar restored us to our second lives and bodies,” he said, and at this the listener focused intently, for the Dead-that-Lived almost never spoke of this, “And Estë couldn’t restore my hand. If I had been an elf, and gone through the Gardens, she might have - it’s something to do with how one’s self sees and remembers itself. Body and spirit and how the two are tied together and elves and mortals do that differently. She had restored elves with injuries like mine, you know,” Beren explained, “The High King’s own mother- the High King over in Valinor, his mother and I hadn’t even realized that he had one, but turns out he did and she had lost use of her arm and some fingers back in Cuiviénen in some animal attack” -his laughter briefly interrupted this- “and Estë healed her, except for some scars, because the lady wanted to keep them. I asked. Not every elf wants to get rid of the scars, or the injuries. And mortals, well, Estë wasn’t sure, but she told me, when I told her about Sícrum and how he wanted one of those fancy dwarf prosthetics to make holding a paper and pen easier but had never lived without that withered arm and missing hand, that I was probably right in that Sícrum wouldn’t want a body with two hands. I miss mine, of course,” said Beren, and continued with a joke, “though I thank Carcharoth for trying to return it to me. But as I can’t have it back, I’ll make do, and if it’s not what I could do before, so be it. It’s a second life, when I didn’t think I’d get the first.” Beren looked lovingly over at his wife. The visitor sat awkwardly, and was thankful when the conversation shifted to Dior and the young boy’s attempt to learn the screeching bat tongue this morning.
Orcs were elves once.
Mornacu did not believe that, though he had been told that it was true, not even after fighting orcs through the darkness and the caves on the long journey westward. Orcs had bodies not too dissimilar to elves, but so did the dwarves and men and other strange creatures. Before the sun rose, back when everything was dark under the stars, they did not know that the orcs were weak to light or that their allegiance was to Morgoth or the rumors of their creation- that the corpse-pale monsters were elves remade. There had been no orcs in the homeland of Cuiviénen, despite the thefts of people before the Hunter chased them away and the cruelty of the king after the Divide.
Mornacu had not been born when the Divide happened, when the heretic Finwë took half of their people and left for the dangerous world outside of the homeland, never to return. Mornacu wondered if he would have joined the deserters then, leaving with the heretics and the First Tribe. His father chose to stay and bound him to this fate, and his mother had died giving birth to him. Life was different, the old ones said, before the Divide, before the Hunter came, back when the First Tribe lived on the shore. After the three heretic leaders left, only two tribes remained, each led by their old kings. The great lake of the homeland shrank and food became scarce, after the Divide, even though there were less people to feed. Raids plagued the people that remained, the pirates worst of all, desperate for food and wealth and workers to create that. That life was harsher and the waters receding Mornacu did know, even if his father was not the one to admit this fact, and that Tata and Enel became more grasping and hard, less willing to debate, more jealous of their rule. Tata grew cruel, as cruel as any orc, and imprisoned those that defied him lest that they become another Finwë. Before the Divide there was no tall earthen walls, no citadel, no deep pits to hold prisoners. No fields where Mornacu had toiled as a young boy, growing food for another’s plate. Reddacáno, commander of the field, had lorded over him. Black hair in many braids swinging like the many braided cords of his whip - sometimes Mornacu saw the prince of these lands of Hithlum and could not stop himself from flinching, because the face that he saw was the tyrant of his childhood. He hid his fear from Lady Meril, because he did not wish to accidentally insult the kind and noble lady that protected them.
Mornacu did not remember many details of his childhood, besides the hunger, the small dulled trowel in his hands, the irrigation ditches that never had enough water. The rules and the watchers, the king eager to dole out torture and punishment to dissenters. His father dying for the failure of choosing to protect his fellow fieldhands during a raid instead of the grain needed to survive. He remembered his stony determination to not end up with the same fate as his father. The cold shadows of the city walls. The taste of water laced with bits of barley and calling it a stew. Few memories worth saving. Until Morwë, round face and black hair and dark eyes that were always either crying or smiling. Long lashes like a girl. Older by a few months and shorter and stocker than him, because while Morwë was the least of his kin, his family was large and worked among Tata’s overseers and guards, able to afford good food. A boy near his own age, always running late and tripping over his feet, the only relative of Reddacáno that knew how to smile, the one that defied the rules. Morwë who wanted everyone to have enough to eat, wanted music and dance to return, who did not fear the forests beyond the city or the rival Nelyar people. To remake the world into a better place. Morwë, punching him in the face because he would not help to rescue one of the field girls falsely accused of theft, Morwë shaking with fear but demanding the release of prisoners, alone until the taller boy dove in to join the other boy, Morwë shaking with gratitude as he was saved. The sting of a whip across an eye, ruining it forever, but Morwë avenging him, a knife bright with red blood. The two boys standing back to back, fighting as one. Morwë and the girl bandaging his ruined eye and calling him a hero. Morwë covering her escape, Morwë returning the favor of his sacrificed eye and taking the next blows meant for both of them. Capture, and Morwë again shouldering the punishment. Crying Morwë, smiling Morwë, Morwë’s small hand against the other boy’s cheek, against the scar across the ruined eye and broken lip, demanding that he live for both of them. To see the world that Morwë would no longer be able to, for the red hot irons removed that chance before the boy was finally killed, blinded and bisected.
Morwë, his best friend, dying because Tata King would not allow anyone to defy him, even a silly boy with a heart too wide for the darkened world. Who in death became the second Finwë to divide their people and inspire more to flee Cuiviénen. One-eyed Mornacu had not led them, the cousins of Morwë, not really. Morwë had led them, his example, his memory. Mornacu could only emulate the dead boy’s ideals, giving him the loyalty that Morwë deserved but had not received until too late. Like a daily prayer, that promise. Morwë’s kin trusted him, followed him through the mountains and the caves, and fought beside him against the orcs. Renamed him Mornacu, Hound of Morwë, and meant only honor in it. Fighting and fleeing, and hoping that Morwë’s dream of peace was true somewhere. They had not thought the orcs were elves, not kin. They had not trusted the other elves, the Nelyar who had left with the heretic leader Elwë. When the arrogant Noldor came from across the sea, those had been instantly recognized as kin - yet the Fire-Spirit and his followers had not so readily accepted that claim. Tata’s face, cruel and paranoid and jealous of any loss of power, had reflected back from this face of the son of Finwë. That had shattered Mornacu’s hope. But Morwë’s example gave Mornacu courage to try again with Lady Meril. They would have a better life in Beleriand, far from the horrors of their homeland.
Orcs were elves once, poisoned and twisted into cruel monsters by Morgoth - but Morgoth was not necessary for elves to become cruel, Mornacu knew. A cruel elf looked like an elf, not an orc.
The morning of the Fifth Battle, and a tall orc captain in an iron mask stalked forward, a flaming whip in his hand. Behind him roared the balrogs, Gothmog among them, and the orc captain laughed and removed his helmet. Long black hair and pale skin heavily scarred down one side, but a face that was still recognizable despite the age that it had never reached in life. A boy’s round face became a man, corpse-pale and dry-eyed. Long, beautiful lashes. A familiar smile. A deep voice, calling out to a one-eyed elf that stood sword in hand amongst the warriors of Hithlum, answering the horrified question. “I was reborn. And it does not matter, for you shall soon die. And the Dark King shall remake the world.”
the ten that died in tol-in-gaurhoth (that were not Finrod) > full set
Thanks to reading The Queen’s Thief series and a discussion with @freespierit:
The visitors to Tol Galen, for the most part out of politeness and hero-struck awe, tended not to bring up Beren’s missing hand. But the mortal man did not hide the disfigurement or that some motions were adjusted to cope around the lack of his right hand. He did not wear the vaulted ring on his left hand but on a cord around his neck, as it was too much a hassle to remove otherwise. The story of how he became Erchamion was famous, the songs and stories impossible to escape, and it would have been ridiculous to pretend that he had both. Still, most visitors tried to not stare rudely at the stump on the right as Beren gestured broadly while reciting a story about how their young son, Dior, had startled the bats that crowded the island for safety.
One guest, thinking to offer comforting hope, made mention of Maedhros and how he had returned to fighting form, fiercer than before, despite his similar injury.
Lúthien’s grey eyes flashed at the name, but Beren laughed.
“Have I told you about my two best friends, growing up as a boy in Ladros?” the man asked, smile lines and imbedded furrows from pain fighting for dominance on his face, making the mortal man look older than his years. “Urthel and Gorlim. You know their names from the songs, of course. Urthel had a boy that he took in, adopted as son or younger brother or just as this goodwill gesture. The boy’s name was Sícrum; no songs remember him, unfortunately. Urthel’s sister, Eilinel, who married Gorlim, had badly broken her leg and hip in an accident and the leg never healed to the same length, which made walking painful for her. Urthel took in Sícrum out of pity, because Sícrum was born with only one working arm, to help out his sister and because the boy reminded him of her.” Beren raised his right arm ruefully. “It was an act of pity at first, Urthel admitted, but he loved Sícrum as if his was flesh and blood, and so did Eilinel and Gorlim. And Sícrum managed without a second hand his entire life, knew exactly what he could do and what he could not, and how to adjust so that he could do things that others thought he could not- and Gorlim and Eilinel loved him like a son and were the proudest parents you ever met not because of well Sícrum coped but because that boy was clever and kind and would have been our most trusted advisor as a man grown.”
Beren sighed and continued. “I asked, when the Valar restored us to our second lives and bodies,” he said, and at this the listener focused intently, for the Dead-that-Lived almost never spoke of this, “And Estë couldn’t restore my hand. If I had been an elf, and gone through the Gardens, she might have - it’s something to do with how one’s self sees and remembers itself. Body and spirit and how the two are tied together and elves and mortals do that differently. She had restored elves with injuries like mine, you know,” Beren explained, “The High King’s own mother- the High King over in Valinor, his mother and I hadn’t even realized that he had one, but turns out he did and she had lost use of her arm and some fingers back in Cuiviénen in some animal attack” -his laughter briefly interrupted this- “and Estë healed her, except for some scars, because the lady wanted to keep them. I asked. Not every elf wants to get rid of the scars, or the injuries. And mortals, well, Estë wasn’t sure, but she told me, when I told her about Sícrum and how he wanted one of those fancy dwarf prosthetics to make holding a paper and pen easier but had never lived without that withered arm and missing hand, that I was probably right in that Sícrum wouldn’t want a body with two hands. I miss mine, of course,” said Beren, and continued with a joke, “though I thank Carcharoth for trying to return it to me. But as I can’t have it back, I’ll make do, and if it’s not what I could do before, so be it. It’s a second life, when I didn’t think I’d get the first.” Beren looked lovingly over at his wife. The visitor sat awkwardly, and was thankful when the conversation shifted to Dior and the young boy’s attempt to learn the screeching bat tongue this morning.
I feel like I need to tell everyone how brilliantly the Globe incorporated a deaf Gildenstern into the 2018 Hamlet and then force all of you to watch it
ok, so Gildenstern is played by a deaf actor, Nadia Nadarajah. he* signs all his lines, and either Rosencratz interprets for him, or the person he’s talking to says something that makes it obvious what he just said, depending. how each character reacts to Gildenstern is completely in-character and often hilarious
Claudius and Gertrude are intensely awkward around Gildenstern. they obviously don’t know BSL so they just gesture emphatically but aimlessly when they talk.
Hamlet, who of course is friends with R&G, *does* know BSL. he starts off by signing fluently whenever he’s talking to them but, as his distrust of them grows, he signs less and less until he’s only signing the equivalent of “fuck off” whenever he talks
Polonius just shouts really loud whenever he tries to talk to Gildenstern
it’s all brilliant and adds another layer of humor and pathos and you should all watch it
*casting at the Globe right now is gender neutral so I’m just going to use the character’s pronouns
guys I know I’m wittering on about this but the thing I want to emphasize is that there is no tokenism here. they didn’t just shove a deaf actor into a speaking role so they could pat themselves on the back about how progressive they are. they went to the effort of fully integrating Nadarajah’s deafness into the story so that it not only fit organically within the narrative but actually enhanced it. watching Hamlet’s signing disintegrate as his trust in R&G disintegrates adds a depth to that storyline I’ve never seen before. Claudius has exactly the awkwardness of someone who thinks of himself as a good person and therefore thinks he’s being kind and generous with his accommodations for disability, but has never even once actually asked a disabled person what they need, which is so on-point for his character it hurts.
I know Michelle Terry gets a lot of hate mail for her policy of race-, gender-, and disability-blind casting, but fuck all those people. long may that policy continue.
the glenda jackson production of king lear on broadway did something similar with the Duke of Cornwall, and it was actually the best part of the play, imo. because when Cornwall was speaking to Lear or to the Court, he had a sign language interpreter to speak the actual literal words aloud, but when he was talking to and conspiring with Regan, his wife, they were just signing back and forth with no translation for the audience, and it emphasized the intimacy between the two even as they turn against literally everyone else in the play, which was fantastic.
and the best part of it was, by the second half of the play, you were so used to it, that you didn’t even blink anymore when watching him and listening to the spoken words come from the interpreter - you just watched the actor playing Cornwall and let the words come from the other guy, but the guy kind of fades into the background. it didn’t hurt that the actor for Cornwall was one of the tallest on stage, and had bright red hair - it was easy to watch him, instead of his interpreter.
which is why it was so shocking and so perfect when the interpreter is the one who kills him.
See, they folded the character of the servant who kills Cornwall into the person of this character who had been such a non-entity that you almost forgot he was on stage - until you realize, no, this is another person, and he’s been here, watching all this the whole time, and he finally gets to the breaking point where he can’t stand by and translate anymore, he has to do something to stop the cruelty he’s seeing, and it’s not just a random guy who comes in for the scene and sees them blinding Gloucester, it’s the man whose been by his side for the entire play, the man who was his voice who finally has a line of his own. who finally speaks on his own behalf to say “no.”
and then, of course, he gets killed, but Cornwall dies in the same scene so it’s not like they need to get a new translator or anything. but it was the most fucking brilliant choice i’ve ever seen re: casting in a Shakespearean production, and the rest of the play pales in my memory in comparison.
bees
In Need of a Cold Shower (7/?)
Very loosely inspired by FFXIV: Heavensward. Less filing the serial numbers off and more melting it down and using a tiny portion for recasting. The official version of the Romantic Comedy staring two horny OCs and Elrond regretting life choices. (part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six) Rough Draft, expect AO3 tomorrow. Today’s warnings are still for the sexual kinks and shenanigans, but also for detailed descriptions of dead and decomposing animals and some light violence. it’s heget.
.❄.❄.❄.
The dead whale derailed the mood.
It was too large to do otherwise.
The living animal had been roughly ten times longer than an elf. That left around sixty tons of flesh rotting in the weak northern sun. Some of the flesh and mass of fatty blubber had already sloughed off, exposing the whiter bone, but most of the dead whale was still intact. The rot had not progressed to disguise that it was a whale carcass, freshly killed, and too far from the shoreline to have been beached. The high tide mark was over two hours’ walk to the northwest.
Helcerían identified the carcass, “A bowhead- you can tell by the massive jaw, how large the head is. And those are teeth, the long sheets of comb,” she said, pointing to exposed bone. “Used like a sieve to filter food. The giant ones with comb-teeth eat only little things. A useful material, strong yet flexible, good for baskets and reinforcement to make a bow that does not snap.” The dead animal stretched out along the hill slope, lumps of white blubber shining in the sun contrasting with the black hide that remained. A gash opening onto eviscerated bowels was likely caused by the natural fermentation of rotting corpses, but a larger gash, ragged by the efforts of scavengers picking at the edges, hinted at a mighty death wound.
“That does not answer how it came to be here, so far from the ocean,” Seregeithon said.
“And they are too large to be prey for any beasts, even the wolf whales, in their adulthood.” Helcerían paused. “Unless some monsters of Morgoth survived.”
Seregeithon looked at the long gash in the black hide, then at the snow-covered earth around the carcass of the dead whale. Deep grooves in the ground could have been the marks of either skis or sled rails- or long claws or talons. Some marks paralleled in the loose earth and faint dusting of unmelted snow around the pebbles and other small stones, but others overlapped. Had there been deep snow instead of a faint powdery veneer hardened into a thin layer of icy frost, the trails would have been clearer. He could not find prints of paws, hooves, or boots, but with the lack of butchering of the carcass for the valuable blubber and bone, he was not surprised at the absence of evidence of Forodrim presence. And those people were reindeer herders, not whale hunters. The largest furrow, he guessed, was from the whale being dragged by the tail to this low ridge. Unless that was a dried shallow creek bed. Seregeithon knelt by one of the marks in the earth as Helcerían and Elrond, holding fabric to their noses to vainly combat the dreadful stench, approached the rotting corpse to inspect it further.
“It died less than a week ago,” Helcerían stated. “Perhaps three days. Were it winter, the cold would prolong decay more.”
“Is this connected?” Elrond asked, even if he knew his question was unnecessary. The oddness of the dead whale, so large and so far from the beach, was a sign that they had been searching for.
The two approached closer, almost overwhelmed by the stench. The curtain of baleen rose above them.
“Where are the gulls that should be feasting?” Helcerían wondered, “and the foxes and other scavengers?”
Keep reading
Thanks to reading The Queen’s Thief series and a discussion with @freespierit:
The visitors to Tol Galen, for the most part out of politeness and hero-struck awe, tended not to bring up Beren’s missing hand. But the mortal man did not hide the disfigurement or that some motions were adjusted to cope around the lack of his right hand. He did not wear the vaulted ring on his left hand but on a cord around his neck, as it was too much a hassle to remove otherwise. The story of how he became Erchamion was famous, the songs and stories impossible to escape, and it would have been ridiculous to pretend that he had both. Still, most visitors tried to not stare rudely at the stump on the right as Beren gestured broadly while reciting a story about how their young son, Dior, had startled the bats that crowded the island for safety.
One guest, thinking to offer comforting hope, made mention of Maedhros and how he had returned to fighting form, fiercer than before, despite his similar injury.
Lúthien’s grey eyes flashed at the name, but Beren laughed.
“Have I told you about my two best friends, growing up as a boy in Ladros?” the man asked, smile lines and imbedded furrows from pain fighting for dominance on his face, making the mortal man look older than his years. “Urthel and Gorlim. You know their names from the songs, of course. Urthel had a boy that he took in, adopted as son or younger brother or just as this goodwill gesture. The boy’s name was Sícrum; no songs remember him, unfortunately. Urthel’s sister, Eilinel, who married Gorlim, had badly broken her leg and hip in an accident and the leg never healed to the same length, which made walking painful for her. Urthel took in Sícrum out of pity, because Sícrum was born with only one working arm, to help out his sister and because the boy reminded him of her.” Beren raised his right arm ruefully. “It was an act of pity at first, Urthel admitted, but he loved Sícrum as if his was flesh and blood, and so did Eilinel and Gorlim. And Sícrum managed without a second hand his entire life, knew exactly what he could do and what he could not, and how to adjust so that he could do things that others thought he could not- and Gorlim and Eilinel loved him like a son and were the proudest parents you ever met not because of well Sícrum coped but because that boy was clever and kind and would have been our most trusted advisor as a man grown.”
Beren sighed and continued. “I asked, when the Valar restored us to our second lives and bodies,” he said, and at this the listener focused intently, for the Dead-that-Lived almost never spoke of this, “And Estë couldn’t restore my hand. If I had been an elf, and gone through the Gardens, she might have - it’s something to do with how one’s self sees and remembers itself. Body and spirit and how the two are tied together and elves and mortals do that differently. She had restored elves with injuries like mine, you know,” Beren explained, “The High King’s own mother- the High King over in Valinor, his mother and I hadn’t even realized that he had one, but turns out he did and she had lost use of her arm and some fingers back in Cuiviénen in some animal attack” -his laughter briefly interrupted this- “and Estë healed her, except for some scars, because the lady wanted to keep them. I asked. Not every elf wants to get rid of the scars, or the injuries. And mortals, well, Estë wasn’t sure, but she told me, when I told her about Sícrum and how he wanted one of those fancy dwarf prosthetics to make holding a paper and pen easier but had never lived without that withered arm and missing hand, that I was probably right in that Sícrum wouldn’t want a body with two hands. I miss mine, of course,” said Beren, and continued with a joke, “though I thank Carcharoth for trying to return it to me. But as I can’t have it back, I’ll make do, and if it’s not what I could do before, so be it. It’s a second life, when I didn’t think I’d get the first.” Beren looked lovingly over at his wife. The visitor sat awkwardly, and was thankful when the conversation shifted to Dior and the young boy’s attempt to learn the screeching bat tongue this morning.
i had to make a haldir before i went to sleep
Beren discovering Luthien while she is dancing in the forest of the kingdom of Doriath, and for the first time, a human loved an elf.
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She gave me three… by MrsMersey
photo studies i did recently~