Fake a smile. @frenchandstupid - Tumblr Blog

Photo by Paul Slattery.

#Roger taylor #Rogger Meddows Taylor #Queen #Queen band

Tomorrow I’m meeting my therapist and I’m gonna ask her to start the step into getting a weight surgery.

I’m freaking terrified of it, I feel like I don’t deserve it, I’m afraid she’s gonna laugh at me.

And then I realize that I’ve been obese for over 12 years now, that a simple diet will never be enough, that my health is in serious danger.

I’m getting that surgery. Because I deserve to feel better.

#weight #obese #weight loss #diet #sleeve

bi-mess-writer

Does anybody else feel anxious in public because you think people are thinking that you're too fat and ugly to be out and about, enjoying life, eating at a restaurant etc.? (The ED voice sucks) .... I felt like this the other day when I saw myself in the reflection of a shop window. But I have been trying to fight this voice by saying to myself "you deserve to live life to the full no matter how you look, and other people are probably too caught up thinking about themselves."

frenchandstupid

This, right there. I feel like that 24/7, every day of my life. Walking into any food-shop, trying to hide myself because "everyone will think I'm already fat enough and I don't need to eat more".

But it's wrong. I'm wrong. Simple as that : do you think that when someone walks in a shop you're in ? Do you judge other people every time you see someone on the street ? No, you don't. And they don't neither.

My therapist have been working on that with me, and here's the mantra she's telling me : "A thought is a thought, not a fact". YOU think you're ugly or fat ; that's a thought, that's your thought, that's not a fact. That's what YOU think, not what other does.

It's important. It's hard to accept, hard to take in, hard to understand, but here's the truth. No one thinks you're too ugly or too fat when seeing you in the streets. You do, and that impact the way you feel. But it's a thought, and not a fact.

#eating disorder #binge eating disorder #depression #anxiety #suicide #fat #ugly

queenmercurys

freddie mercury (5 september 1946 - 24 november 1991)

we still love you

So I’m seing my therapist tomorrow.

I’m seing her to treat my eating disorder and loose some weight. My ED has gotten better, she’s great. And yet I don’t know what to tell her tomorrow.

Should I tell her about this ? About how finding back my old blog has been disturbing me ? About how I’m feeling like my old habits are coming back ? How I’m feeling myself drowning into depression again?

I’m doing good. I’m great at my work, I actually received 3 congratulations from my bosses this month. I’m more relaxed, I’m more calm with my family, I haven’t had a binge eating crisis in 2 months. It’s good.

But at the same time, I still feel unhappy. I still feel lonely. I’m still disappointed in myself. I am so lost.

I don’t know what to expect from tomorrow’s appointment. I went to see her to loose weight ; while I’m happy my ED is improving, I don’t feel like making any effort into loosing weight at the moment. Should I even go to see her ?

Sorry for the rant. If you read so far, please advise ... I am so fucking lost and confused.

#depression #loose weight #suicide #eating disorer #binge eating disorder #ranting #therapist

touchofocd

does anyone else feel like they’re “attached” to their mental illness?

like you feel uncomfortable when your symptoms aren’t as strong or frequent because you’re so used to them being there all the time?

#depression #suicide #tw #self harm #alone #sad

depression-healthy-carrier

Me: I’m depressed

Friend: You got nothing to be depressed about. Get over youself

Me: Thanks for listening

#depression #suicide #tw #self harm #alone #sad

inahiddenplace

if you see someone being interrupted in a conversation, acknowledge them, don’t let them be pushed to the side. if you see someone lagging behind, walk beside them. if someone is being ignored, take the step to include them. always remind people of their worth. it hurts when it feels like you’re being forgotten. that small gesture can mean a lot.

insanely--crazy

I’ve brushed a knife across my wrist last night.

It felt familiar. It felt cold. It felt good. It felt too light.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

#tw:cut #self harm #trigger warning #cut #cutting #suicide #depression

grungeandroses

Stop telling people who are suicidal that it will only pass the pain to someone else!! It only makes them feel worse. As soon who's suicidal and have had heard that it only makes us feel guilty and worse because we have these thoughts!