Gerard woke up early the next morning, for the first time in a while he decided voluntarily to take a shower. His eyes fluttered as he trudged into his bathroom and clicked on the light. He turned on the water in the shower and stripped off his pajamas. He stared at his naked body in the mirror for a moment as he waited for the water to warm. He hated this, the time waiting in front of the mirror for the shower to warm where he analyzed every flaw and problem with his body, from the scars on his legs to the way his stomach was larger than most boys his age. He turned away and stepped into the shower. He stared down at his legs as he rubbed shampoo through his hair, remembering the time when one of Frank's friends asked him if he washes his hair with cooking grease. If Frankโs friends thought it, Frank probably did too. Gerard scrubbed his tangled hair with vigor making sure to get right at the roots with his dexterous fingers. He let the water wash the shampoo from his hair as he stared down at his body. He wondered if any of this mattered, would cleaning himself up a little bit even change Frank's deep hatred for him? It didnโt matter anyway, Gerard at least wanted Frank to know that he could be better, and maybe even worth his while.
When Gerard had finished scrubbing his body and hair clean he stepped out of the shower and wiped the fogged up mirror with his hand, revealing his pinkish face from the heat of the water. Gerard pushed his wet hair from his eyes and wrapped his towel around his waist before trudging back to his room. He ruffled his hair with his towel, getting the last bits of water from its dampness. He pulled on his school uniform and hastily tried to rub out the creases and wrinkles in it before smoothing his hair into a perfect fringe in front of his eyes. Gerard pulled on his various bracelets and rings and took one last look at himself in the mirror. For the first time in months he looked like he had put in at least a little effort, but was it enough for Frank to have second thoughts?ย
Gerard trudged down the stairs, where Mikey was already waiting for him in the kitchen. โWhat took you so long?โ Mikey questions.
โJust took a shower is all,โ Gerard replies reluctantly.
โHm.. finally found someone worth fixing yourself up for?โ Mikey teased.
โItโs not like that.โ Gerard growled.ย
โFine.. Fineโฆโ There was a pause. โJust nice to see you put in some effort for once..โ Mikey replied slowly.ย
โWhat the hell is that supposed to mean?โ Gerard's voice was raised now. โYou think I don't put in effort?โ Gerard stared daggers at his brother who stood at the counter, the slice of bread he was spreading jam onto paused in the air.ย
โNoโฆI didnโt mean it like that. Cโmon, Gee, you know what I meant,โ Mikey replies, a bit sheepishly.
โWhatever.โ Gerard grabs his backpack and stomps toward the front door.
โWhat, are you not gonna eat?โ Mikey bellows from the kitchen.
โNot hungry, I'm gonna get to school early, got stuff to do,โ Gerard replies right before he slams the front door shut behind him As he steps out into the cool New Jersey air, he feels a shiver run down his spine, and not from the cold.ย
Gerard begins his walk to school as late autumn cool pricks his cheeks and nose. He really should have brought a jacket, but he doesn't want to turn back and face Mikey again. He pulls his bag up higher on his shoulders and keeps his head down as he walks. His walk to school is long, going from his neighborhood full of cramped brick apartments past the big houses with gates at the front and large sculptures that look like they belong in castles.ย
Gerard despises these houses, the kids from them attend his school but instead of walking they pull up in expensive cars with personal drivers. More than half the kids at Gerard's school have never even stepped foot on public transport.ย
The only reason Gerard was lucky enough to attend such a luxurious private school is his mother, she applied for him to attend on scholarship when he was in middle school after seeing the way the kids in public school behaved, and since Gerard was selected, Mikey became eligible to attend the school as well. Gerard despised the school, the pompous student body and the teachers who cared a bit too much, the sprawling campus, all of it. Even though he had been in attendance since freshman year he still felt like an outsider, with his tattered shoes and reused school supplies from the previous years. He hated everything, the only redeeming quality about the place is that Frank Iero was in attendance.ย
Gerard was coming nearer to the school and his fear was growing larger, the anxious knot in his stomach tightening and his fingernails digging into his skin subconsciously. This was a mistake, he should have stayed home, is what his brain tells him, but he soon comes to the conclusion that he can't stay home forever, because even if his parents fail to notice his lack of attendance the school most definitely will, and he'll be in even deeper shit then he's in now.ย
Gerard takes a deep breath before stepping foot into the sprawling parking lot; only a few cars are parked now, most of them belonging to teachers or staff. Gerard trudges towards the front entrance of the school, bracing himself to be attacked by Frank's gang from all sides, but nothing happens. He opens the doors and speed walks down the long hallway towards his locker. He looks out the sprawling mass of windows that overlook the school's courtyard, seeing a few students talking amongst themselves by the trees or sitting on benches waiting for the first bell to ring. Gerard quickly twists in the combo for his locker and grabs what he needs for his classes, shoving the books and pencils haphazardly into his backpack before slamming it shut.ย
Gerard rushes down the hallway, looking for a place to camp out before class, since no teachers open their doors until the first bell. He walks past the bathrooms knowing many of the students who would give him a hard time like to hangout there before class. Gerard wonders if the media center is open but his brain shuts that idea down quickly knowing the first place Frank is gonna look for him is there. Suddenly he stops, a small door labeled Janitorial is tucked in one of the lesser trafficked hallways. He had never seen it open since the new wing of the school had an expansive new Janitor's office. Slowly, he reaches for the doorknob and opens it. The inside of the room is dark and smells of mildew and cleaning products,ย shelves packed with all sorts of cleaning supplies, towels, brooms. Gerard steps inside and lets the door shut behind him, trapping him in darkness. He reaches around blindly for a light switch when a small chain bumps his forehead, he pulls down on it and a small flickering light emits from a lightbulb fixed to the ceiling. With everything bathed in light, Gerard can see that the room is small, with no place to sit besides the floor, but it will work for now.
Gerard spots a blue bucket and flips it upside down to use as a stool. He places his bag down in front of him and sorts through it, digging around a bit until he finds his camera, the SD card wiped clean after he downloaded the photos to his computer. He tucks the camera back into his backpack and sorts through the scrambled mess of papers in his backpack. He can hear the sound of students in the hallway as it gets closer to the bell, the sounds of lockers slamming and students chatting grows louder. Gerard checks his watch, the time is 7:50, the warning bell should be sounding in less than five minutes. Gerard decides he's going to wait until the very last moment to leave, he can spare being a little late to his first period, which is AP English.ย
Ten minutes pass quickly and the first bell rings, Gerard peeks out the door to see only a few stragglers in the hall. He scurries down the hall toward the stairs and races up them, hearing voices to the left, the way toward his class. He peeks carefully to ensure it's not Frank or any of his friends, and breathes a sigh of relief walking the rest of the way to English.ย
โโโโโโโ
Frank arrived at school that morning at around 7:40, his friends jeered about yesterday's events. He didn't feel like engaging in any of their laughter. To him this situation most definitely was far from a joke. He brushed off a few of the guys from the lacrosse team.ย
โSo do ya think that guy jerked off to your nudies Frankie?โ One of the boys laughed while he punched Frank's shoulder.ย
โFuck offโ was the only response Frank had the courage to muster up, was there anyone in the world who was going to take this seriously. And on top of this Frank was finally experiencing the post nut clarity he barely noticed last night because of his fatigue. His mind raced,ย
โAm I gay?โ
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย โNo.โย
โMaybeโ
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย โNo, definitely not. โ
ย โI wasn't even thinking about Gerard when I cameโ
ย ย ย ย ย โBut what if I was.โ
โBut I wasn't.โย
The thoughts rambled on as his friends' laughter and taunting continued throughout the halls. Sooner or later the news was going to reach other groups in the school, not just the lacrosse guys. So no matter how many times Frank shut people down for talking about it, a new person would crop up and ask him a billion questions that he didn't know the answer to.ย
Frank grabbed his bag and left the lacrosse guys at the quad. He would search the school for Gerard by himself, before heading to his first period class. The first places Frank checked were the places that Gerard frequented, the media center, the library, but to no surprise he wasn't there. Frank didn't know why he was even looking for Gerard, he probably didn't even come to school today.
โReally why am I looking for this guyโ Frank thought to himself, maybe it was to beat Gerard up or maybe to get some answers to the question burning in his mind โWhy?โ What made Frank so special that Gerard would do something that dumb. Frank had a headache, this entire situation was far more than what he thought he would be dealing with his senior year. He expected parties and booze and hopefully a lacrosse championship trophy, maybe even a hot girlfriend, but this, why and what were all the new feelings and thoughts he was having that made him feel soโฆ?
โโโโโโโ
Gerard's first period class went by smoothly with no sign of Frank or any of his friends. In Gerard's second period, he did notice a few guys in the back whispering and pointing at him, he tried to calm himself down by thinking to himself they could be talking about anything he had done, to be fair, Gerard getting picked on was a pretty common occurrence. He scribbled small doodles into the margins of his notebook. Some of the small characters resembled Frank, with his black hair and the piercing on his lip, for a jock, Frank definitely did have an edgy look to him, that's part of why Gerard was so drawn to him, he stood out, and not because he was loud or obnoxious, but because Frank was the type of guy that made himself noticeable without being excessive.ย
Gerard's second period teacher droned on about something to do with college preparations, Gerards hand began cramping so he put down his pencil and laid his head down on his desk.ย
He let himself close his eyes, not interested in the slightest about what his teacher was saying, he didn't know how long he was asleep before he heard a loud clapping near his face.
โMr. Way.?โ Said his teacher, Mr Thompson. โAre you sleeping in my class, young man?โ his teacher stood next to his desk, arms crossed.ย
Gerard shot up but not before one of the students in the back of the class blurted out โHe's probably tired from all the running he did yesterday, right Gerard?โ A couple of the guys around him laughed while the other students in the room looked confused.
โI didn't need your input but thank you Jason.โ Mr Thompson said sarcastically addressing the brown haired boy at the back of the class who was hiding a smirk with his hand.ย
So they knew.ย
At least a couple of kids who weren't directly friends with Frank knew about what Gerard had done, whether Frank had told them or someone close to him it didn't matter, soon enough the whole student body would know, but that wasn't Gerard's concern, he could deal with the harassment, his real issue was if any of the staff or teachers found out the entire incident could blow up into something even bigger and could land Gerard with an expulsion right before graduation. His parents, especially his dad would be livid, he would probably get kicked out of the apartment, Gerard's mind raced, he imagined himself living on the streets begging for spare change.ย
There was nothing he could do, no way to erase everyone's memory of this incident, who knows maybe Frank was sitting in the principals office right now, that made Gerard wonder, would the police get involved? Frank wasn't rich by any means as far as Gerard knew but he definitely had more money than him, meaning if Frank pressed charges, Gerard would most definitely loose the case. What would his parents think, what would Mikey think. His brain was overloaded with worst case scenarios that it took him a second to snap out of it and realize Mr Thompson was still talking to him.ย
โExcuse me, Gerard? Are you even listening to me?โ
โWhat sorryโ Gerard said with a little shake in his voice.ย
โI said see me after class and we'll talk about this.โย
Gerard doesn't know what โthis' was since he was zoned out but he hoped and prayed no one had told Mr. Thompson why Gerard had been running yesterday.ย
When the bell finally rang, Gerard hoped he could slip out of class unnoticed but he heard a loud clear of the throat from behind him as he tried to sneak out the door amongst the large flow of students leaving for lunch.ย
โDid you forget what I asked Mr Way? Or do you just think what I have to say is unimportant.โ Mr Thompson said as Gerard turned around slowly, the air in the room was ice cold and Mr Thompsons piercing blue eyes trained on Gerard weren't helping him feel at ease. Gerard took a deep breath as he watched mr Thompsons slide into his chair behind his desk.ย
โHere, pull up a chairโ said Mr Thompson his voice becoming less stern as he noticed how nervous Gerard looked. The chair squeaked across the floor as Gerard slid it infront of his teachers desk.ย
โSo Gerard, care to explain why you felt you didn't have to pay attention in my class today?โ
Gerard opened his mouth to speak but Mr Thompson continued โYouโre very lucky to attend this school Mr Way, some kids don't have that same opportunity, so I don't see why you would take it for granted as much as I've noticed you do.โย
โWell.. Uhโ Gerard stuttered.ย
โIs something going on at home, not getting enough sleep?โ Mr Thompsons said in a voice that hinted of sarcasm.ย
โI was just bored..โ Gerard replied sheepishly.ย
โBored.. Well sorry my class isn't up to your standards, why don't you try teaching a class full of noisy high schoolers maybe your โlivelyโ personality can keep them engaged.โ Mr Thompson said bitterly.ย
โSorry, sir I didn't mean it like-โ Gerard stumbled to find the right words.ย
โJust go.โ Said Mr. Thompson rubbing his temples โBut next time I catch you sleeping in one of my classes its gonna be a visit to the principals office young man. โย
Gerard grabbed his things and scurried out of the room before Mr Thompson could change his mind. When he entered the hallway he walked straight into a group of Franks friends.ย
They had waited outside the classroom for ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฎ.
Gerard's eyes glaze over as he stares at his blinking computer screen, his mouse idle as he stares at his work.Itโs incredible. Frank's every curve and angle displayed in large, the way his head tilts back and the curve of his spine, all of it. Gerard wonders If Frank knew how beautiful he was, would he care this much about a few photos?โ
Gerardโs hands find his belt, shaking as he unclasps the buckle. He can no longer hold back, his hands racing to unbutton and unzip his pants, that suddenly feel far too tight against him. Precum stains his boxers and his hand finds its way to his throbbing cock. His eyes fixate on Frank's pixelated face on his screen. His eyes rake up and down the image of Frank while he finds his rhythm with his strokes, soft sounds escape as he imagines Frank's hands wrapped around him. He imagines Frank talking him through it, telling him how much of a sick pervert he is for getting off with another manโs hand, his eyes closed as he approaches his climax, no longer focused on whatโs on the screen, just on reaching that sweet bliss. Gerardโs pace becomes frantic, his hand moving up and down in reckless strokes.
ย โFuck,โ he groans as he feels his whole body tense up as his orgasm crashes over him. Warmth spreads through his whole body as he leans back in his chair feeling the heat of his load coating his fingers as he withdraws them from his now soft cock. He sighs as he wipes his hands on a discarded shirt from the floor. He chucks the shirt into an overflowing laundry basket, and returns to his computer, closing his Frank folder.ย
For a few hours, Gerard flips between reading the various comic volumes strewn across his room and playing fantasy roleplaying games on his computer. It isnโt until nearly 6:30 that someone knocks on his door. For a moment, his stomach drops, until he reminds himself that Frank Iero isnโt stupid enough to show up to his house. So, Gerard opens the door to his younger brother. Mikey is standing in the hall, clearly tense.ย
โWhat the hell was that, Gee? You completely left me! I waited nearly 30 minutes at our spot for you.โ
โSorry, I had to rush home to deal with something.โ
โWith what exactly?โ
There's a pause, and when Gerard doesnโt reply, Mikey continues, โAre people giving you a hard time again?โย
โItโs nothing like that, I just have a lot of homework to do,โ Gerard says after a long pause.
Mikey rolls his eyes. โLike you do homework,โ He retorts.ย
โIโve got a ton of stuff I have to do before graduation, so fuck off so I can focus.โ
Mikey glares at him before walking out and slamming the door behind him.ย
Gerard lets out a deep sigh. Mikey canโt know about this, the last thing Gerard needs is his brother getting involved. Mikey was a good kid, better than Gerard at least, and he didnโt seem to struggle as much to fit in, unlike his older brother, who experienced bullying throughout every year of his school career. If Mikey got involved, it could be devastating to his social life and it would lead to him becoming a school outcast for his remaining three years of high school just like Gerard. Gerard cannot and will not let that happen. Itโs better if Mikey stays out of his business, at least until Gerard graduates.ย
Gerard thinks about what would happen if Mikey found out, would he defend Gerard and take his side or would he be just as disgusted with him as Frank? Definitely the latter, Gerard thinks, giving him yet another reason to not tell Mikey about whatโs happening.ย ย
Dinner that evening was tense, the boysโ father had come home from work late, and by the time dinner was served it was past eight o'clock. No one spoke much at the table, the only sound filling the room wasย cutlery scraping the plates and the loud chewing from Mr. Way across the table. Gerard excused himself as soon as his plate was clean. Mikey gave him a concerned look before he turned back to his own plate.
Gerard collapses in his bed, and for the first time, notices the ache in his legs from his running earlier. His fingers gently massage his thigh, his hands feeling over the jagged scars across his thighs, reminders of past hardships, some of them faded with time, others fresh and red. He canโt remember why all of them were there. Many of them came out of habit from the first couple of times, when they were simply to take out some of his pain on himself. Now it wasnโt necessarily about him being sad or upset, he just did it to feel something, anything. He felt his eyes flutter. The day had left him exhausted so it wasnโt very long before sleep found him.
โโโโโโโ
Frank lies awake in his bed tossing and turning, his mind racing with thoughts of Gerard.ย
Why would he do that?
And why me of all people?
Why me?
ย Why me?
ย ย Why me?
Frank thinks about what he can remember about Gerard before this happened. He remembers Gerard used to be one of the few people who would arrive at the lacrosse field early to get a look at the players practicing before the match began. He remembers that most of the time, he could see him in the stands holding a camera. He had always thought he was just part of the yearbook committee, tasked with photographing the lacrosse matches. He remembers how Gerardโs greasy black hair would often cover his eyes and how wrinkly his school uniform was. He remembers how Gerard would get picked on by some of Frank's friends, and even though Frank was never directly responsible for the bullying, he still felt somewhat responsible. But now it didnโt matter. To him, Gerard deserved every bit of what he got.ย
Many girls had crushed on Frank throughout his high school years, but none like this, and especially not a guy. Frank had to give Gerard credit, he was brave, or maybe he was just a pervert, but still, he had guts. Most guys, gay or not, wouldn't dare take pictures of someone theyโve never even spoken to in the school showers.ย
Had he and Gerard ever spoken before?
Frank racks his brain trying to remember a time where the two had exchanged words but finds himself blanking. He remembers during sophomore year, Gerard was in his Biology class, but he only remembers this because he and his friends used to throw paper balls at his head for a laugh. Gerard would turn around and blankly stare at them before returning to doodling on his notebook. What would possess Gerard to have a crush on the guy who threw paper balls at him in class?ย
Suddenly, he remembers a time during that same year where he and Gerard had been randomly assigned to work together on a project. To Frank, this detail of his school life was so insignificant that he had nearly forgotten, but he could see how through the eyes of someone like Gerard, this moment could have meant more to him than anything else that whole year. The project was dull, something about algae and biomass production, Frank barely did any of the work and left most of the tables and questions for Gerard to fill out. He most likely spoke to Gerard during this, but he canโt remember what exactly was exchanged. He remembers the way Gerardโs hands would shake and his shoulders would tense every time Frank would lean over to copy what Gerard had written down. Was this the first time Gerard had noticed him?
Frank couldnโt understand why he was thinking about this so much, maybe in his mind he wanted to rationalize Gerardโs behavior. He wondered if he had done something to make Gerard believe this was okay, but also a small part of him was extremely intrigued by him, by the way he acted and carried himself. Nothing seemed to phase him, even when he was being picked on, he never seemed to show any emotion on his face. This intrigued Frank the most, how someone could be so blank and expressionless. He wanted to find out why Gerard was the way he was to ensure it would never inflict this much stress on him again.ย
He wondered if Gerard was awake right now, he wondered if he was thinking about what he did, he wondered if he regretted it, he wondered what he did with the photos. Did he get off to them? God, why had he thought about that? But now he had thought about it, he couldn't get the image out of his mind-Gerard sitting in his room in front of his computer screen, stroking his cock to photos of Frank. Frank felt sick, he rolled over onto his stomach and shoved his face into his pillow, hiding his blush from an invisible audience.
Frank thought about it, if it was a girl who had done this, a pretty girl, would he be turned on? Probably. He thought about a girl pleasuring herself to photos of him, the thought alone making his cock twitch against the mattress. He thought about a pretty blonde girl moaning his name against her hand as she stared at his photo. He felt his dick hardening. Frank hadnโt jerked off in a while, so what if he had gotten the idea from thinking about Gerard jerking off to his photo? He was imagining a girl now, so it didnโt matter.
His hands reached into his sweatpants freeing his throbbing cock. He rubbed his sensitive tip, collecting precum into his hand before slowly moving down his length. He bit his lip, stifling a groan. He imagined the same scene, a pretty girl spread open for him, moaning his name. Since he hadnโt come in a while, he felt his climax approaching faster than usual. Suddenly, his mind flickered to Gerard, the blonde girl's face being replaced by Gerardโs. He stopped abruptly.ย
What the fuck is wrong with me?ย
He was angry now. He closed his eyes again, and instead imagined himself fucking the girl from behind, resuming his quick strokes, his breathing getting heavy as his climax approached. He imagined the girl's soft moans in his head. Soon the moans twisted into a new sound, they sounded different, darker, more masculine. He could no longer hold back his cum, spurts landing on his pillow.ย
He collapsed and his mind began to race, what the hell was that? Did I seriously just imagine fucking a dude!? No, that was subconscious, his mind assured him. Itโs not like he meant to, his brain just did it. He compared it to the times when he was young, at catholic school when he was expected to pray. Sometimes his mind would race with completely different things he couldnโt control. This helped him relax a bit, I mean, itโs not like I meant to imagine Gerard. He had just been thinking about him a lot today, so he somehow drifted into his subconscious.
Frank rolled onto his back, letting out a sigh. He really should clean up, but his fatigue was starting to wear on him. He closed his eyes and let sleep take him.
Rain drips down Gerardโs pale face as he runs down the side road towards his family's apartment. He clutches a black backpack to his chest as rain assaults his skull. His converse slap against the wet concrete while he runs, and he runs as if his life depends on it- which it very well could if he canโt out run Frank Iero and his group of friends.
Gerard pants against the sound of jeering and the wet noise of rain hitting the ground. โYou canโt run forever, Gerard!โ Frank yells just loud enough for Gerard to distinguish the words over the rain. Itโs true though, Gerard canโt run forever, he was never an A+ student in phys ed and his lack of routine exercise or a healthy diet have contributed to his lack of stamina.
Frank Iero, however, is a star player on the school lacrosse team, and followed by his entourage of athletic friends, Gerard really canโt stand a chance in a race against them much longer. He whips his head around just long enough to notice that Frank and his friends are gaining on him, and quickly. Gerardโs chest is tightening and his throat feels like itโs on fire, but he keeps running. โNot much longer,โ he assures himself. โNot muchโฆlonger-โ he pauses to gasp for breath.
Frank is determined to reach Gerard, he knows where Gerard is going and as long as he can reach him before he turns the corner to his apartment, he can get what he came for. He wipes his wet hair out of his eyes and locks eyes with Gerard who has yet again turned his head to check on his assailants. โYou canโt run away from me forever!โ Frank shouts. Itโs true, even if Gerard makes it to his apartment he will still have to spend the rest of his senior year avoiding Frank, which means running home, missing the D&D club meetings in the media center and eating his lunch next to the trash cans behind the gymnasium.
Gerard checks his surroundings, the trees hide the chain link fence that surrounds the back of the apartment unit. He calculates exactly how much time he has and makes a break for the trees. He crashes through the brush as he pulls the backpack straps over his broad shoulders, then takes a quick glance behind him to see Frank and his group standing confused just past the tree line.
He hears one of them speak, โWhere the fuck does he think heโs going?โ Gerard whips around fast enough to catch himself right before he slams face first into the fence. His hands scramble as he pulls himself up the fence, his breathing ragged as he listens to the boys crashing through the brush behind him.
โDamn, heโs a sneaky motherfucker,โ Frank curses as Gerard gives a final pull and hoists himself over the fence only to tumble over and falls on his ass on the concrete pavement outside the apartment block. But heโs safe, Frank wonโt follow him. Gerardโs apartment is too close, within shouting distance now, and Frank wonโt risk getting caught.
The boys yell out a few threats before kicking up some dirt and spitting in Gerardโs direction. Frank leads them back through the trees. Gerard is frozen, his nails scratching at the concrete as he tries to regain his feet. A shaky breath followed by a sob escapes him once he knows Frank is out of earshot, he wonโt let Frank see him cry, he canโt.
โโโโโ
Frank and his group have given up on catching Gerard for today. Theyโve taken cover under a rain shelter at the bus stop. Frank's friends, a boy named Ray and a buzzcutted boy who Gerard never cared to learn the name of are passing a cigarette back and forth. Ray leans the lit cigarette over toward Frank who practically snatches it and then takes a long drag, leaning back against the glass panel behind the bench theyโre sitting on.
โCโmon Frank, you know weโll get him eventually,โ Ray sighs, taking back the cigarette.
โAnd then what? Heโs not going to be stupid enough to carry that fucking camera around anymore,โ Frank grunts back.
โLook, all we gotta do is find him and fuck him up a little bit, then if we get him scared enough heโll hand over the camera,โ Ray says coolly.
The buzzcutted boy chimes in, โHeโs just a sick fuck, donโt let him get in your head Frankie, he wonโt show anyone. I mean, havenโt you noticed heโs like, in love with you or something?โ
โFucking faggot,โ Frank confirms as he stomps the cigarette into the ground . The bus turns the corner towards them. Frank takes a quick glance at the apartments down the block, thereโs about ten tall brick apartments, but Frank already knows which one is Gerardโs. Of course he does.
โโโโโ-
Gerard crashes through the apartment door, his mom in the kitchen, left of the entrance, is at the table, drunk again. Gerard races upstairs to his bedroom, his breathing ragged and quick. He collapses onto his bed, his hands finding his tangled mess of black hair, gripping his hair tightly as he sobs into his pillow. โFuck. Fuck. Fuck.โ He groans. He turns to look at the backpack, abandoned in the corner of the room that contains the very reason Gerardโs in this mess. Heโs full of regret, but not for what he did but for how he did it. He was reckless, bored, and very horny- maybe a small part of him knows he shouldnโt have done it, but he doesnโt care, the only thing he regrets is getting caught.
Itโs already too late, might as well see what photos I got, He thinks to himself. He stands up, hair disheveled and wet from the chase in the rain, muscles aching, but regardless, he walks over to the backpack, digs through it and finds a small, shiny, black hard drive that contains the photos from his camera. He walks over to his desk, anticipation itching at him from the inside as he boots up his crappy iMac. This is so fucking wrong, but I canโt stop, He thinks. His body seems to be out of his control, he plugs in the drive and hundreds of files begin transferring to a brand new folder titled โ[Frankie]โ.He waits impatiently, fidgeting with his hands feeling his excitement grow, everywhere.
When the final file transfers, Gerard can barely stop his finger clicking the folder. As soon as he does, hundreds of photos appear on his screen, and every. single. one. is of Frank, theyโve all been taken at school, at lunch, at the lacrosse games after school, and lastly, Gerardโs new favorite place to see Frank, the school locker room. These ones are the most recent and the reason Frank has found out about Gerardโs little โcrush.โ
The photos had been taken just a few hours before, Gerard was in the media center before school transferring the photos he had taken of Frank at the lacrosse game last night onto his flash drive when he heard them. The lacrosse team, more specifically, him, Frank. They must have just been practicing on the field before school. Frank seemed to lead the crowd, laughing and joking with the other players, gloating about last night's win against Ridgeview. So what if Frank was full of himself sometimes, to Gerard, he had every right to be, he was just so perfect.
So, Gerard slipped out of the media center and followed the group down the hallway, camera in hand and black hair swept in front of his eyes. The group entered the locker room chattering and laughing.
Gerard gripped the camera, his knuckles white against the sleek black of the Canon camera. He watched the group of boys enter the room, swinging the door closed behind them, but before the door could click shut Gerard wedged his toe between the door and its frame. Most of the boys were at the lockers, but Gerardโs eyes locked on Frank,standing to the left of the door, peeling a sweaty number five jersey over his skinny but toned body. Gerardโs hands shook as he lifted the camera, snapping pictures rapidly, the rush of water from the showers and the clamoring of students covering the sound of the shutter. Although for Gerard, he blocked out all sound and only had his focus on Frank, his model, his muse, his obsession.
Clicking away rapidly as Frank wet his hair under the stream of hot water, Gerard watched as steam rose around Frank's torso as he snapped more pictures. Frank tossed his head back, tossing the wet black hair blocking his face behind him and letting out a sigh as his face turned up to the stream.
This made Gerard feral, he snapped more photos. Then the sound of a voice snapped him out of this trance, not Frank, but another one of the players. Gerard was so focused on Frank he completely forgot they werenโt alone, the moment was just so intimate to him. One of Frank's teammates had seen him, taking photos, and now, Frank will know and after that, the whole school will know.
Gerardโs fight or flight instinct kicked in, and without turning back, he whipped around on his heel and ran like hell. Most of the players were changing into their uniforms, so he figured he had a good minute to find a hiding place. His mind raced, They couldnโt have seen my face, it was covered by the camera, a..and my hair yeah, they wonโt know itโs me. Plus everyone looks the same in this goddamn uniform. What will he do if he finds out, would he be flattered? No..no..uhh maybe a bit turned on. Shit probably not, but maybe heโll just forget and probably think it was a prank. Gerard sprinted toward the nearby library, he heard angry footsteps and words behind him but he kept running until he was inside the library where he clamored onto all fours and hid underneath one of the large covered desks that belonged to the librarian. Gerard held his breath as the door swung open, he heard feet rushing alongside him, but he was well hidden beneath the librarian's desk. โAre you sure he went in here?โ One of the boys questioned.
โOf course I did, Iโm not blind, and I swear to god when I find that fucker Iโm breaking his camera and his fucking neck.โ Gerard recognized the voice, it was Frankโs, so it was confirmed, Frank knows the photos were of him, and probably knows itโs Gerard who took them.
โSo..do you recognize him? Like, the person who did it?โ Another boy inquired, giving Frank a confused look.
โThereโs only one person in this school as degenerate enough to take photos of naked dudes, and thatโs Gerard fucking Way. I recognized him from lacrosse games, his emo ass always hiding behind that fuckass camera, probably perving over me or something,โ Frank replied heatedly.
He knows my name! Gerard thought energetically, He knows me. Gerard's heart raced but he tried his hardest to keep his cool.
โLetโs go, he must have run out the back door,โ Frank said, pointing to the door across the library. โIโll find him.. later.โ
And he did.
The chase ensued after school, Gerard was waiting for his younger brother, Mikey, when he saw Frank's group approaching and booked it. And now here he is, alone in his bedroom, fawning over pictures he so desperately wishes Frank didnโt know about.
