I don't even know. If you scroll far down enough you'll find every little thing I was into in my early twenties. Now I am 30 and freshly I love with Yakuza. 💁🏻♀️ feminist killjoy ✨ fat ✨ pole dancing ✨ witch craft ✨ fictional crushes
Okay, I’ve been putting it off, but it’s finally here. My KazuMaji playlist, which I have titled “Mad Dragon” because I think that’s a much cooler ship name : | This is informed mainly by whatever I’ve heard lately on FM radio and I’ll probably add to this as I go, but this hit my metric for being complete enough to post ^^;
Mad Dragon Playlist via youtube (I can also probably put this together via spotify if needed)
“Van Horn” - Saint Motel
Well, tell me do you me hate me?
Or do you wanna date me?
It’s kinda hard to tell ‘cause your eyes are looking crazy
So why you coming over?
Anything but sober?
Looking like it’s time tonight
For fight or flight in Van Horn
I thought this would nicely start us off at the beginning of Kiwami 1. Like, look at those words and tell me you don’t INSTANTLY think of Kiryu. I sure as fuck did when I heard this song for the first time. This is defs Kiryu’s first impression of Majima and not knowing what in fuck’s name just happened. The eternal “Are we supposed to be fighting or fucking right now?”
“Take Me Home Tonight” - Eddie Money
Take me home tonight
I don’t wanna let you go 'til you see the light
Take me home tonight
Listen, honey, just like Ronnie sang,
Be my little baby!
Ah, and with that, we enter what I like to call the Horny section. And nothing more appropriate than an egregiously horny 80s ballad. Really sets the scene I think. And an excellent counterpoint to “Van Horn’s” confusion is the absolute certainty of Majima’s first impression here. His entire goal since meeting Kiryu is, well… to make him take him home ^^; Let’s be real. Absolutely no confusion about what he wants out of this. Horny, but also very sweet, just like our boy ❤
“Faith” - George Michael
Well, I guess it would be nice if I could touch your body
I know not everybody has got a body like you
But I gotta think twice before I give my heart away
And I know all the games you play because I played them, too
I would be truly remiss to write a queer playlist from the 80s without doing credit to our king, George Michael. So, continuing the Horny theme, but also, as you all might recall, the leaping directly into Kiryu’s lap gambit didn’t quite work out. And this is about that nervousness, that hesitation. And if Kiryu’s not going to put out, so to speak, then Majima’s better off holding back a bit. This is a reaction to Kiryu’s, well, rejection would be a strong word, but at least lack of reciprocation. Majima still wants him, clearly, but he’s reconsidering his strategy. Perhaps an early Kiwami 2 vibe.
“It Will Come Back” - Hozier
I know who I am when I’m alone!
Something else when I see you,
You don’t understand, you should never know,
How easy you are to need…
Don’t let me in with with no intention to keep me!
Jesus Christ! Don’t be kind to me!
Honey, don’t feed me,
I will come back
And so ends our Horny arc. The longing of this, the pining. As much as Majima knows he shouldn’t, Kiryu’s so… nice. He’s sweet, he’s tender. He’s so unbearably easy to fall for. He’s such a fucking good guy, it’s just… His helpless desire to be a part of that. Mmmm. This is a motif that stretches the whole of their relationship, but is certainly pronounced in 2 and 3. Hell, there’s even howling for fuck’s sake.
“Dragging Me Down” - Travis Love Benson & Yo! The Moon
Oh, this feels like a misstep, oh what a mistake!
But I’ve fallen in with feelings that I cannot shake,
The darkness that pulls me is dragging me down!
And I think that I might be willing to drown
Ah, that inevitable horror. You’ve tried to resist, you’ve tried talking yourself down, you’ve spent time away and… yep, no, you’re good and in love. You’re fucked. This is a special kind of feeling, after the resistance, after the pining, the terrible realization that you’d give your life for this and there’s absolutely nothing you can do. Arguably, Majima’s felt like this the whole time as he’s always been afraid of what being in love with Kiryu will mean. But this is ESPECIALLY a game 4 feel. When there’s absolutely nothing you’re getting out of this, less than nothing, but you just can’t break with the feelings. You’re gonna die like this and tehre’s nothing you can do about it. Kiryu spends a bigger portion of his life than he would like to admit fighting against realizing this.
“Running Up That Hill” - Meg Myers
It doesn’t hurt me,
Do you want to feel how it feels?
Do you want to know? Know that it doesn’t hurt me
Do you want to hear about the deal that I’m making?
You, it’s you and me
What comes after the terrible realization that you’ll die like this? The dedication. The resignation. If you’re gonna die like this, may as well make it worth something. BIG game 4 energy here. You may as well be playing this over the arrest scene. “Running Up That Hill” is a classic for any love story where some dumbfuck is stupid enough to be self-sacrificing and oh, look at that, we have two of them. “Running Up That Hill” is so gutting though because it doesn’t assume a happy ending. It assumes that if the trade works, this still all ends in tragedy. But it’ll be worth it. Make that big Game 5 energy as well.
“King and Lionheart” - Of Monsters and Men
Howling ghost they reappear
In mountains that are stacked with fear
But you’re a king and I’m a lion-heart
And in the sea that’s painted black
Creatures lurk below the deck
But you’re a king and I’m a lion-heart
And as the world comes to an end
I’ll be here to hold your hand
'Cause you’re my king and I’m your lion-heart
Another absolute classic. I think it’s illegal anymore to make a shipping playlist without “King and Lionheart.” I certainly have more ships than I can shake a stick at that fit this song. But it’s a classic for a reason. This takes all the dedication we developed in “Running Up That Hill” and argues that it doesn’t have to be tragedy. See, the problem with the previous is the sacrifice is one-sided and unacknowledged. “King and Lionheart” says what if we both knew? What if you let me do this for you? What if these were our roles and we were happy? It doesn’t all have to end in tragedy if we just… know. And that’s the real dream isn’t it? Be my king, let me be your lionheart. *stares helplessly at Kiryu Should Have Been Chairman AU*
“I Want You to Want Me” - Letters to Cleo
Didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I see you crying?
Didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I see you crying?!
Feeling all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dying!
Didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I see you crying?
It was hard for me to decide where to put this, but I do feel it belongs on this list. “I Want You to Want Me” on surface level expresses a fairly typical expression of infatuated puppy love. But it’s the above, this part, that really strikes me. Because that isn’t just the adoring desperation of courtship. Didn’t I see you crying, didn’t I see you vulnerable, didn’t I see you broken, and didn’t I love you anyway? Didn’t I see you crying and didn’t it do something to me to see you like that? That isn’t just blind desire. I’m still not sure where this should go and I may find a better spot for it eventually, but this is about the fact that they get each other’s broken pieces. That there’s some deep, vulnerable shit to work through and… seeing it and still wanting to be a part of things, fuck, even still feeling that blind puppy love is… really something. This is certainly part of Kiryu’s love language. He never sees ugliness in people and he has a profound propensity to take care of others. This is a thing he wants to say.
“I Still Ain’t Over You” - Augustana
Hey, I’m the blood in your veins,
I’m the cold when it rains,
And I’m your heart when it breaks-
Time, no it ain’t on our side,
I’m the truth to your lies,
And I’m your tear, when you cry
This is a different kind of pining. This is that post-break up pining, the know-I-should-get-over-it pining. It’s not the pining you get when your courting. It’s not even the resigned to rejection pining. It’s that important part of getting over a break up where you’re still dealing with what it was you had or wanted and can’t let go of yet. Big Game 3 energy, but also Game 6. Because this also has a little hope for what still might be. There’s longing for what was, but also the possibility of the future. That’s what’s so confusing about it. Not knowing how to let go or what to let go of. I also just really like this song and I’m also just physically incapable of not putting Augustana in my playlists. You can really tell me generation there.
“With or Without You” - U2
And you give yourself away, and you give yourself away!
And you give! And you give! And you give yourself away!
With or without you!
With or without you,
I can’t live… with or without you…
To be honest, this song basically makes no damn sense. Because it’s not asking for anything, like… it has no solution. But it perfectly encapsulates the heartbreak of being in love with something that can never happen. Game 5/Game 6 energy if I ever saw it. Just… the rawness… the desperation. It’s a classic for a reason.
“Needing/Getting” - Ok GO
So I been sitting around, wasting my time,
Wondering what you been doing.
Aw, and it ain’t real forgiving, it ain’t real forgiving,
Sitting here picturing someone else living.
And I, yeah I still need you,
But what good’s that gonna do?
Needing is one thing, and getting,
Getting’s another.
So we’ve had the break up. We’ve had the heartbreaking realization that what we wanted can never happen. And now… we’re finally coming to terms with that a little bit. Finally going, y’know what? I may never be over this, but I should probably try to move on with my life anyway. “Needing/Getting” is at least admitting that this is a losing proposition. We may not be all the way to healing and, heaven forbid, getting over it. But we’ve gotten as far as… this is pretty dumb.
“My Love” - Sia
My love, leave yourself behind
Beat inside me, leave you blind
My love, look what you can do
I am mending, I’ll be with you
So… after you realize that this isn’t going to get any better and, maybe, you don’t like being heartbroken all the time… sometimes you try to let things go. Big Game 6 energy. There’s a lot to love, there’s a lot to appreciate. And letting go doesn’t mean letting it all go, it doesn’t mean forgetting or regretting. But it can mean… moving on. Taking all you loved and learned with you, but moving on. To not give up on yourself, to keep doing what you promised you’d do, sometimes you gotta. There’s a lot of endings in Yakuza and a lot we may have to accept. “My Love” is about honoring that and keeping that love strong.
“Somewhere Only We Know” - Lily Allen
And if you have a minute, why don’t we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don’t we go?
So why don’t we go?
But, then again, who says we can’t try again? After we’ve accepted our loss, our endings, who says we can’t be close to the people we love when we still love them? This is how I tend to favor post-5 and even post-6 thoughts. Why can’t we just have nice things? I mean… jeez, c’mon. Please. I like to think that after all the pining and regret, we could still come to terms. We could realize how silly we’re being and just… it’s as easy as just asking for a little time.
Heyo! Can we have the nsfw hc's for Daigo's bfs? :3€ thank you in advance!!
Of course you can, my dear c: Apologies in advance for my very strong bias for my fav boy Mine, but I’ll try to be fair to everyone ^^;
Ryuji Goda:
Ryuji and Daigo have that classic enemies-to-lovers friction. That gloating victory, that simmering hatred melted away into physical attraction. So, at first, they’re all rough touch, biting and snapping and grabbing. No tenderness, no gentleness. But over time, this would cool to lazy ego-stroking and pampering. A knowing fondle, a smug tease.
Ryuji is the world’s laziest dom. I’m sorry, but he’s got a little too much of that “I’m king god and I know it” going on to put in effort most of the time. Oh, he’s happy to order you around and have you worship him, but he’s not going to make your job easier or even praise you too much for doing it, unless it’s to mock you. This isn’t to say that Ryuji’s mean, necessarily, just that he’s smug and everything’s about him.
If he ever gets around to actually fucking you and not insisting that you get him off in a way that does nothing for you, he will put in effort doing that. After all, he’d be unworthy of his exalted status if he couldn’t actually back up his claims. So he makes a point of fucking people good and hard, in a way they’ll remember. And he even makes it a point of personal pride that you enjoy it, even if that means he has to be gentle. Being strong enough to be gentle is still strength, after all. And you’ll hate him just a little bit more for the fact that he can make you feel nice and you like it.
Daigo certainly hates his smug face about it.
But the real trick is if you can get Ryuji on his back. He’s a whimpery baby when it comes to bottoming. He’s inexperienced taking it, but does enjoy it, which puts him in an awkward position, having to listen to someone else for a change. Suddenly it’s “Oh, be gentle with me!” and “Wait, slow down!” and not quite knowing what he wants anymore. It takes patience to get that far with him, but Daigo certainly think it’s worth it. Ryuji’s got an ass that won’t quit and driving into that self-congratulating asshole, no pun intended, is delightful.
Daigo prefers a more generous environment than Ryuji, but Ryuji’s stuck-up pride is appealing as a target to launch yourself at. And it is flattering that Ryuji won’t fight with you in the first place if he doesn’t think you’re worthy. It is a little warming in itself to have his attention.
In a long-established relationship, Ryuji’s pride would lose its edge, he wouldn’t feel quite so desperate to prove himself. So his teasing would be more fond and soft, less biting. Daigo would grow in confidence, able to rebuff Ryuji a bit better and lead him around if need be. Daigo sparks under Ryuji’s overbearing dominance, but only when Daigo’s trying to be dominant. Daigo’s happy to receive most of the time. It’s more the way Ryuji comports himself that is the issue. But Daigo would relax over time too, seeing Ryuji soften and open up. They could learn to be tender with each other, rather than only mock and sneer.
Mine Yoshitaka:
Fucking Mine is like driving a brand new Ferrari. It’s very sharp, very fast, very expensive. It’s beautifully designed. But it wants to be doing everything at 200 mph when most of your life is, at best, at the 60 mph speed range. And you know it’s going to break. You don’t know when, you don’t know where, but the thing is so fucking temperamental and insistent about going 200 mph that it’s just going to break, there’s nothing you can do about it, and you’ll have to get it repaired. That’s what fucking Mine is like.
Mine is an entire goddamn disaster. He’s SO hot and SO fucking on fire.
There is absolutely no way on earth Mine had ever fucked anyone before Daigo. Come on. Think about it. He’s very pretty but... psychotic. And also convinced that other people are, I don’t know, dust mites. Is fucking you going to get Mine power? No? Then why the fuck are we still talking?
So no, Mine never fucked anyone, may not have even been interested in sex at all before Daigo.
But he’s... oh god, he’s gotta be The Best at Everything. You can see where this is going.
Mine’s SO DESPERATE to prove how good he is at sex, how willing, how flexible, but he’s instantly overwhelmed by everything and we have to scale back his insane plans to... how ‘bout we hold hands in bed for awhile, okay? Maybe your blood pressure will go down some.
Daigo has to, somehow, contain Mine’s insane need to please and be The Best while also convincing him that it’s okay to take things one step at a time and slow down sometimes. He has to hold his hand through everything and show him, literally, all of the steps. Just kissing might paralyze Mine for a day, to say nothing of removing clothes or touching each other.
That’s okay, Daigo can be patient. Apoplectically insane doesn’t do it for everyone, but... there’s something charming, for Daigo, in the way that Mine will absolutely break if you’re cute to him, if you’re nice to him. It’s so little effort for Daigo to be nice, and he gets SUCH a response in return. That alone is satisfying. It’s okay that Mine needs to move inches at a time or he’ll explode. It’s okay that every little thing sets Mine off, it’s kinda adorable. As long as you can be patient and don’t have to look after him every second, it’s actually pretty functional.
After a lot of coaching and patience, their first time is... still a total disaster. But no one had to go to the hospital and Mine only wound up crying for an hour, so Daigo’s taking this as a good sign.
Slowly, after a lot of therapy and socializing him with other people, Mine calms down. Over time, Mine can become functional and even very skilled. As Mine would never accept “adequate” for anything. And Daigo can’t fault him for his ambition and discipline even if it is... terrifying to watch how fast he develops.
After the initial volcano of embarrassment and feelings of panic and unworthiness, once he finally fucking calms down, Mine becomes flawlessly competent. Daigo’s actually little worried that Mine could get him off in three strokes if put to it. He’s careful to absolutely never under any circumstances ask Mine to demonstrate.
And Mine’s own desires grow apace with his skills. Mine’s main kink is endurance. He’s sort of similar to Majima’s exhaustion and over-stimulation gambit, but it’s a little different. Majima wants to be fucked until he can’t think anymore. Mine wants to prove his stamina, he wants to be the greatest physical specimen possible. So marathons are truly his thing. Daigo struggles to keep up.
Fortunately, Mine is an absolutely mewling bottom, hungry for any attention. He wants to be stretched to his limits whenever possible, pushed to the utmost, but he’d never forgive himself if Daigo isn’t also enjoying himself. He learns to balance the two, to make sure Daigo is having a good time and not ask... more than is humanly possible.
Even so, fisting is not out of the question for him and Daigo has, on occasion, worn a cock sheath. Mine’s a bit of a size queen. Again, the stamina thing. He’s... he’s insatiable in almost all possible ways.
Mine will also gladly fuck Daigo! He has never refused a request from his one and only beloved and he never will. But Mine has no impulse to dominate. He doesn’t need to prove anything, he already knows he is the best there is, and he doesn’t need to serve to derive his sense of purpose and meaning. He will serve, but it is only to make Daigo happy. His pride is taken from how happy he can make Daigo, rather than anything about the act itself. His intense attention is borderline unbearable, but Daigo has gently coached him into where to direct his attention and how much intensity is needed. Mine is a ready and willing student, trying hard to be the right amount of too much, rather than monstrously too much. So he’s always excited to be ordered by Daigo and do what he likes. Daigo, for his part, has never been disappointed.
Daigo, despite the incredible emotional and physical exhaustion of fucking Mine, does enjoy it. Mine does push him to his limits and asks for so much, but... the loopy, satisfied smile on Mine’s drained face when he finally lays back, when he’s at last loose and pliable... it fills Daigo with such a sense of satisfaction and pride and love. Whenever Daigo doubts himself, whenever he’s unsure, he remembers that the most perfectionist man on earth is head-over-heels in love with him and begs to be fucked every night... nothing comes close to being that kind of ego trip. And Mine is even genuinely reassuring when Daigo needs that too.
It’s a disastrous beginning and it’s rough and rocky for awhile, but... in time, their dynamic becomes a smooth beat-counterbeat of lust and confidence, doubt and reassurance. They support each other in their weak spots and they love each other for it.
Shinada Tatsuo:
Shinada is like a breath of fresh air after the work of those last two. He is neither on fire nor selfish. A welcome relief for Daigo, if he fucked the last two. Finally someone he doesn’t have to put in all the work for.
Shinada is the definition of easy going. Whatever you want to do, he’s up for it. And with his predilection for sex workers, safe to say he’s not a virgin by any means. No awkward hand holding with him.
Shinada is not much of a dom, way too lackadaisical to take charge, but he is very warm and giving. So if Daigo just wanted to be taken care of today, he’d do his best to comply. He doesn’t have Mine’s intensity or stamina nor Ryuji’s forceful personality, but he’s sincere and generous and that goes a long way.
Shinada is far more willing to be acted upon though. He’s lazy in the exact opposite way of Ryuji. Shinada would love to be fingered and fucked and taken care of, while putting in very little effort to achieve this. He’s happy to receive your energy and fierce determination. And at this point in Daigo’s life, sometimes he needs to take charge, just for the sense of control over something. Shinada’s got no problem with that and it’s reassuring and satisfying to know that Shinada’s happy with whatever you have to give him. Not having to put in a major effort or think about what will make him happiest makes Daigo’s job a lot easier.
Not to say that Daigo wants to just use Shinada and leave him. Daigo’s very kind and cuddly with Shinada, eager to appreciate him simply because he’s so low effort. Shinada thinks it’s cute the way Daigo tries to pamper him.
Daigo does sometimes push Shinada for more, ask him to go harder, to be rougher, but it isn’t really in Shinada’s make up to be forceful and intense. He’s up for anything so he never blinks if Daigo asks for something a little unusual or wants to experiment with something new, but at the same time, there’s no drive in him for any particular thing.
Shinada’s main kink is hands, using his hands or hands being used on him. Hands are still his best method of communication, still dexterous and tactile, even if he’s out of practice these days. Also toys, strangely. He loves self-service toys or partner toys. They take some of the effort off of any one person to perform a certain way while still making sure everyone’s satisfied. No much ruffles him, but he will get a little blushy if you praise him a lot.
Daigo... loves to be taken care of. But also likes to fuck people into whimpery piles. He’s just so tired at this point. Sometimes he misses Ryuji’s demands or Mine’s intensity. But right now, he likes taking it easy with a sweet, pretty boy who like to lay in the sun and do nothing. He’s easy to pamper and his eyes go wide for just a little love and care. Daigo likes making someone happy and not having the fear that it will all go horribly wrong all too soon.
Shinada sees him get sad sometimes and hugs him close, murmurs gently and keeps their hands close. He doesn’t mind that Daigo’s hurt and has been through a lot. He’s happy to be with him now and to make him happy in whatever ways he can.
I’m in a weird mood and I miss talking to all of you, so have some NSFW headcanons for Kazumaji.
Want another ship? Go ahead and ask! (I’ll even do stuff I don’t ship, so go ahead and ask about Oda, Ryuji, Akiyama, all of Daigos boyfriends! Why not!)
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