You can just feel the awkward

Hi, I'm Freya Gordon, known as GirlOnFire. I'm 21 years old and an incredibly socially-awkward person. Yet somehow, I'm a famous YouTuber. Known for my comedy skits and my reaction to video games. I do tend to vlog now and then. Now I'm joining a Youtube cruise. Let's see how this goes, shall we? [Closed Rp]

[palace-covered-in-gold]

This nerd just makes me smile

[daily-lawrence]

Jennifer Lawrence attends the 2016 Vanity Fair Oscar Party Hosted By Graydon Carter at the Wallis Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts on February 28, 2016 in Beverly Hills, California

[greenofspring-deactivated201507]

Jennifer Lawrence

[bunchofhotwomen-blog]

Jennifer Lawrence

[frydoggammen]

[freya-gordon]

Happy birthday to me, man.

[freya-gordon]

Empty Hearts | Dreya

[danielsexhowell-blog]

Phil looked at Freya with tears rushing down his face. “Wh..What happend? Did you fight or something?” he asked and then looked at Dan who was moving. He slowly started to wake up, he looked around the room in confusion. “Where am I?” Dan asked and looked at Phil and then at Freya. Troye ran to the kitchen and got Dan a cup of water.

[freya-gordon]

Freya shook her head "No.. no." She said softly when Dan started to wake up. She wasn't really sure what to do in this situation, usually having the roles reversed. She forced herself to move forward and sits on the edge of the armrest of the couch, her eyes watering. "How are you feeling?" She asked softly. 

[freya-gordon]

Empty Hearts | Dreya

[danielsexhowell-blog]

"Ph..Phil" he said. "Dan. What is wrong?" Phil asked and took his hand. "Panic..Attack" he said before he passed out due to all the stress.  Phil’s P.O.V When Dan passed out a wave of panic struck him. “Troye run and find Freya” he said and kissed Troye quickly on the lips before he ran away. While Troye was gone, Phil kissed Dan’s forehead and tried to move him but he didn’t have the energy for himself.

[freya-gordon]

Freya almost fell back asleep again when the sound of running footsteps jolted her awake. She looked over at her right to see Troye panting hysterically. "Troye?" Freya asked, her expression confused. All she got out of him was "Dan", "Panic Attack" and "Our cabin.". She shot up quickly and ran down the hallway with Troye back to his and Phil's cabin. Troye opened the door and they ran inside, seeing Dan passed out on the couch with Phil by his side. She felt sick, she couldn't even speak in that moment.

[freya-gordon]

Empty Hearts | Dreya

[danielsexhowell-blog]

He got out of his bed and ran out of the room and cabin to run down the hallway. He stopped at Phil’s door and knocked on it, then his knees gave in and he fell to the floor. He looked up when the door opened, he looked up and met Troye’s worried eyes. “Oh my godness” he said and took Dan under his arm and helped him up, he walked into the cabin room with him. “PHIL!” Troye shouted. Phil ran out and when he saw Dan he ran to them and helped Troye carry Dan to the couch.

[freya-gordon]

She just sat there, completely oblivious to anything that was going on. She almost felt herself falling asleep out there but quickly opened her eyes, knowing she'd freeze to death with just Dan's jacket on. She snuggled herself into it for a moment and watched the ocean, fiddling with the engagement ring on her finger in deep thought. Very deep thought.

[freya-gordon]

Empty Hearts | Dreya

[danielsexhowell-blog]

When he heard the door close he sighed, feeling the lump in his throat growing. He couldn’t help the tears and they started to roll down his face. His panic attack had now begun. “Ah this will be a whole lot of fun” he thought to himself.

[freya-gordon]

She walked up to the ship's skydeck. Leaning against the railing, she took in everything the night had to offer. She always found herself calmed by the sound of the ocean and the moonlight shining off it. She pulled away to grab a lounge chair and sit in it, watching the water sway and the stars shine bright. She tried to forget about everything for a moment and relax, even closing her eyes.

[freya-gordon]

Empty Hearts | Dreya

[danielsexhowell-blog]

Dan looked at her and shook his head. “Not today, babe. Not today” he said with a weak voice before he turned around and closed his eyes, pulling his covers over his head. He didn’t want to block her out but he needed to let his depression take over. Just for tonight. Just for a moment and not hide it all away like he always did. He wanted to show her that he also is depressed. Even though he never shows her that.

[freya-gordon]

Freya sighed softly and rubbed her eyes when he hid himself. She was gutted that she couldn't get through to him, but at the same time - she understood. She understood why he was acting the way he was acting and that he needed his time. She kissed the covered head softly and got up, putting on her flipflops and one of Dan's hoodies. "Dan - I'm gonna go out to the skydeck for a bit. Get some fresh air and watch the stars and ocean - if you need me, please let me know." She said quietly before walking out of their bedroom.

[freya-gordon]

Empty Hearts | Dreya

[danielsexhowell-blog]

Dan shook his head and sighed. “I don’t want to” he simply said and looked down at his hands, trying to keep himself calm. Trying not to have a panic attack infront of her. He missed Chris, PJ and Phil. He missed being alone with them. Because that was the only time he felt happy. But now Chris and Phil are both depressed and PJ are always away. So they never have time for each other and that made him even more sad.

[freya-gordon]

She bit her lip and stayed sitting in front of him, not knowing what to say. She didn't want to push him, but she wanted to help him. At least gather what we pulling him back into his depression again and do something about it. It worried her, it made her feel sick. It ate her alive - she wondered if this is how Dan and Josh always felt. Watching the ones they care about hurting and not knowing what to do. "I know how it feels not wanting to talk to anyone." She said softly, looking down. "But I've always learned that things have a better outcome when you do, and not bottle it all up on the inside." She sighed softly. "Daniel - I wanna help you. I want to do my job for once. I want you to be happy, along with everyone else."

[freya-gordon]

Empty Hearts | Dreya

[danielsexhowell-blog]

"Thank you" he mumbled and started to eat. He enoyed ever bite of it, but his heart was aching and so did his body. He didn’t like this feeling. After everything with the fans, his depression kicked in like a train hitting him. And he didn’t know why. He was the one who wasn’t good enough for her. Not the other way around and he wanted everyone to know that.

[freya-gordon]

Freya quietly ate her food next to him, watching the tv and trying not to let the fact that her fiance was hurting next to her eat her alive. She knew that most people didn't like to talk about how they felt and kept things bottled up, she knew that because she was like that. But now that the roles were reverse and it was Dan who was hurting, it felt absolutely terrible. She put his and her bowl off to the side and shuffled over so she was sitting in front of him. She crossed her legs and looked at him in the eyes "Talk to me, Dan." She said softly.

[freya-gordon]

Empty Hearts | Dreya

[danielsexhowell-blog]

He slowly nodded and walked to the bedroom, laying down in bed with the covers pulled high. He put on Game of Thrones but not even seeing Emilia Clarke and her dragons made him feel any better. His whole body ached and his heart was beating really fast. He felt like he was slowly breaking down, bit by bit.

[freya-gordon]

She watched him walk into the bedroom before she walked into the kitchen, taking a deep breath and pulling herself together. She started making stir fry, one of Dan's favorites. She focused on cooking for what seemed like hours until it was finally done. She got out two bowls and poured the stir fry in both, letting out a sigh of relief that she hadn't screwed it up. She looked at herself in the mirror, clearing herself up and putting her hair up in a messy bun. She picked up the two bowls and walked into the bedroom, getting onto the bed. "Here, babe." She said softly, handing him a bowl and fork. 

[freya-gordon]

Empty Hearts | Dreya

[danielsexhowell-blog]

He looked her in the eye and smiled. “Yes I’m just fine” he said and kissed her on the lips. He felt like something bad was going to happen to him. That his depression is coming back for a second time. And he hated that feeling. Being there for Phil have been his hobby this past year. But now he felt like everything was going downhill for him. Like nothing has a meaning anymore. And he hated that feeling of being nothing.

[freya-gordon]

Freya frowned and bit her bottom lip slightly, looking at him right in the eyes. "How am I supposed to be Mrs. Howell someday when you won't talk to me, hmm?" She asked softly, caressing his cheek softly. "You always worry and take care of everyone. Let me do that for you, love." She pecked his lips softly, feeling herself get back to normal again. "Go get comfy in bed and put on your favorite show or movie, I'll make something yeah?" She asked.

[hobbithairdan-blog]

[freya-gordon]

Empty Hearts | Dreya

[danielsexhowell-blog]

"Ignore it. Block him. Delete him from your life" he simply said. Even though he would love to talk to him, he didn’t want their evening to be even more ruined. He wanted to save the evening the best that he possibly could. He then felt a weight on his shoulders. He shook the feeling off and looked at her, waiting for her to block him.

[freya-gordon]

Freya bit her lip at his request for a second before she nodded and did it, it was probably for the best. She wanted to scream at him and get answers, but this just wasn't the time for any of that. She blocked him and put the laptop back, looking over at Dan and getting up. She could tell that he was tense, she wanted to fix that. She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist "You okay? Relax, babe." She said, pecking his lips.