Frida Kahlo 1919-1939

Hello there! My name is Frida Kahlo. My birthday is July 6, 1907. I live in Cayoacán, Mexico with my husband Diego. Watching my husband create art has inspired me to paint myself. Some call me a surrealist, but I can't say that I agree with that statement. Painting is my life. "I paint my own reality." I hope you enjoy my work.

[fridakahlo19]

1939

Well, I am not sure in which direction my life is heading anymore. For career, it looks fine, better than ever actually. Love, not so much. I have been dating Nickolas Muray, a photographer. We have split now though, he had an affair. I have been through that before. I travelled to Paris with the Bretons, where they exhibited my work as promised. The first piece above is a painting I made in 1938, once again, another self portrait. And a very colorful one at that. It is called "The Frame" because of the bright frame decorated with flowers and birds. It was in the show. I painted too many pieces in 1938 to post every one here. The second painting I made this year, called "The Two Fridas". It is showing both sides of me. On the right, when I was loved. I am holding a locket with Diego's picture inside and wearing traditional Mexican clothing. On the left, broken hearted and alone, in European clothing. Blood is dripping onto my white skirt. The next shows my bisexuality. I never kept it a secret, not even from Diego. I had many lesbian friends. These are two naked women being watched by a monkey, symbol of sin. These women appear in "What the Water Gave Me" as well. I came home to Mexico from the exhibition in April, after being in New York again in March. My health isn't doing very well either, I am in much pain and have taken to drinking. In Paris I had a kidney infection, which grew worse. Now I have an infection on my hand and my spine hurts terribly. At this point, I am in bed, questioning what my life is coming to. November 6, I divorced Diego. Officially. I will continue my painting, but in this time of recovery, I may be off of my blog for a while. Don't be surprised if you don't hear from me for a while. I don't have much hope for a turn around as drastic as I have experienced before, but I still wish it will be so. Until then, enjoy my work, and I will hopefully have more to show soon. Signing off, Frida.  

[fridakahlo19]

October 1938

French poet André Breton and his wife are visiting Mexico to see Trotsky! They are staying with Diego's ex-wife, and so we have all met them. Something interesting occurred. I have been working on this painting, "What the Water Gave Me", and when Breton saw it he called me a surrealist. I don't think I am able to label myself as that, for my paintings are no abstract art stories of beauty and love. They are my life, my story. In this painting I painted what life has given me floating at the bottom of my bathtub. Breton offered to show my work in Paris, which is so unreal, yet flattering. Could my art be as good as he says it is? Anyways, this month, I am in New York to show my art. It has gone well! I am showing 25 of my works, and half of them were sold! It seems they have some value! Who would have guessed you could make such a rewarding career doing something you love? 

Photograph from: http://www.fridakahlofans.com/c0270x.html

[fridakahlo19]

January 9, 1937

Leon Trotsky and his wife are visiting Mexico! I have given them use of my old blue house in Coyoacàn. Although I have to admit it..... There is more than just a friendship between Leon and I. We must keep it secret. No one can know about this, but it is still a significant piece of my life, so I must post it to my blog. I hope this doesn't all end badly. I'm still healing. This painting of mine above is different than my others. It is not a portrait of a person. When I created this I was thinking of how I love Diego, yet I feel I must break this relationship off. The vase says in Spanish, "I belong to my owner." and "Viva Mexico". 

Photograph from: http://www.fridakahlofans.com/c0171.html

[fridakahlo19]

1935

Just when I thought things were getting better, things become worse again. My third pregnancy has failed as well. I got an abortion this time, and then an appendectomy, and I had to have the ends of my toes removed. It feels like I am slowly being torn apart until there will be nothing left. I felt so confident... and then the world comes crashing down on me again. Even worse, I learned that Diego has been having an affair with my younger sister Cristina. How could two of the people I love the most betray me so? My heart aches... what will become of me? I decided to leave our home in San Angel and return to Mexico City on my own. I will travel, clear my head, and return to deal with this situation. Now I have returned and Diego and I have reached an agreement to live on our own. It's over. My heart aches for the love I once had... the image above is based off of a newspaper story I read of a woman murdered for being unfaithful. The judge says in Spanish, "But it was just a few small nips!" That is what this painting is, but I feel it represents how I feel during this dark time, like I am being murdered by life. 

Photograph from: http://www.fridakahlofans.com/c0150.html

[fridakahlo19]

1933

I'm back! And have gotten over my miscarriage. I painted myself looking beautiful and confident to help me heal. I've spent so much of my life feeling sad.. since the bus accident and Alejandro I have never been the same. I have now decided to embrace my situation and who I am and continue doing what I love most... painting! More to come!

Photograph from: http://www.fridakahlofans.com/c0130.html

[fridakahlo19]

1932

I have been living in the United States for some time now, so I made this to address my homesickness for Mexico. I am quite fond of it. It shows the differences between the two countries, and I am in the middle. The big cities here in the U.S. are very different from the places in Mexico I grew up in. So many factories and loud city sounds... although I have loved the travel I wish to return home once more. I'm beginning to grow tired of moving around all the time.

Photograph from: http://www.fridakahlofans.com/c0110.html

[fridakahlo19]

1932

Diego has brought a new idea from me based on my recent habits of painting. He suggested I begin documenting my whole life in paintings. With the recent events, it is helping me get my mind off of things. So, what better place to start from than my birth? This is a painting of my mother giving birth to me... I felt the need to cover her face with a sheet, she just passed away recently so I thought of it as respectful. The way I created this painting of my birth sort of feels like I am giving birth to myself, if you understand that comparison at all. I will keep thinking about Diego's suggestion as I try to work more on his idea. 

Photograph from: http://www.fridakahlofans.com/c0100.html

[fridakahlo19]

In relation to my last post, I also painted the miscarriage. I'm feeling so bitter about it... I really wanted that child. It's heartbreaking, but along with everything good and bad in my life, I have painted it. 

Photograph from: http://www.fridakahlofans.com/c0090.html

[fridakahlo19]

September 16, 1932

What an interesting past 6 months these have been. In March Diego and I moved to Philadelphia, then again in April to Detriot. Not nearly as long as we were in California for. I was pregnant for the second time. Diego doesn't want children, but I still do. At first, we tried to abort the pregnancy but it did not work. I then decided to try to deliver the child through an open cesarean operation, but I was wrong. It was terrible. I was so close to death... it all ended in a terrible miscarriage. I painted once more what would happen if I were to have that child. I wish it all worked out how my painting did, with a beautiful baby at the end of it all. And, my mother died yesterday. I long for the joy I felt many months ago...

Photograph from: http://www.fridakahlofans.com/c0092.html

[fridakahlo19]

1931

More bad news... :/ We are still in San Francisco but my right leg has gotten worse. The pain is much more terrible than it was before. It is swollen and the deformity doesn't help. I have been hospitalized once again. Diego's friend and well known surgeon Dr. Leo Eloesser has been taking good care of me. What a great doctor he is! I am glad to know him! I painted a portrait of him above. He gives the best advice for my medical complications. I just hope I am not in here long! 

Photograph from: http://www.fridakahlofans.com/c0071.html

[fridakahlo19]

November 10, 1930

Greetings from San Francisco! Diego and I are here while he paints a mural in the Luncheon Club of the San Francisco Stock Exchange and the California School of Fine Arts. I miss my hometown, but it is great to get to travel! This city is gorgeous... I wouldn't mind Diego taking a long time to finish his murals! I am doing some painting as well. The image above is my painting of us. I based it off of our wedding portrait. A reminder of the joy. I will keep you posted on our travels together! 

Photograph from: http://www.fridakahlofans.com/c0070.html

[fridakahlo19]

December 1929

Another of my self portraits for you! This is my second serious one... I hope you all like it, I have put much work into it, it is based on a style like folklore, which I quite like. Unfortunately, I have more bad news. Things were going amazingly, with Diego and I, and we got news that I was pregnant! Think about my joy. Maybe I was to have my Leonardo, my imaginary child. We were told it would never happen. I cried of joy often. Things were perfect for once. Three months into the pregnancy, things went downhill. Having this baby was very dangerous to my health, and could have been fatal. Oh, how I wanted to take the risk. A family is worth it, is it not? But I could never do that. If I died, who would be here for Diego? With much sadness, we terminated the pregnancy. Diego was expelled from the Communist Party, so I left too. We have just moved to Cuernavaca because Diego is painting for the American ambassador at the Palace of Cortes, what a wonderful job! 

Photograph from: http://www.fridakahlofans.com/c0040.html

[fridakahlo19]

August 21, 1929

What a glorious thing has come out of my meeting with Diego! It was love at first sight for me, how could one not admire one so talented with a paint brush! When he began courting me, I was so glad! Look where it has gotten us... the photograph above is our wedding photo. :) we were married today in the town hall in my city, Coyoacán. He is twenty years my senior, but age is only a number. I am his third wife, but I believe he loves me more than he did his past wives. My father approves fully of the marriage, he knows Diego will be able to pay the medical bills and provide for me. My mother is a different story. She thinks he is too old for me... and she dislikes the fact that he is a Communist (even though I am one as well) and an Atheist. I don't care, I love him anyways. My friends, well, they are just sort of surprised at my choice. They will learn to love him too though. Diego will help me become a wonderful artist like him! 

Photograph from: http://www.fridakahlofans.com/biowedding.html

[fridakahlo19]

1928

Today I am including two paintings! :) Let me explain the first one. This is sort of just a little fun painting I’ve created, it is called “Sitting Girl with Duck”, a portrait of Rosita. She is a little girl, who looks rather like me, don’t you think? Her hair resembles mine… it reminds me of my dreams for a child, but I won’t get caught up in that now, because I am in a good mood. Like my last painting, I love the colors in this one! They are bright, not pastel like my portrait of Christina, but beautiful nonetheless. To explain the second image, I will tell you of my WONDERFUL DAY!!! :) I love saying it, because I have not had one in quite some time! I have joined a group which focuses on the Cuban Communist Julio Antonio Mella. He has been exiled, many call him a victim of the Stalin-Trotsky struggle. One of my friend’s in the group, Tina Modotti, is with Mella, and likes to honor him in the group. It must be hard for her to be away from him, I know that feeling. She is friends with Diego Rivera himself! I got to talk to him, and even show him some of my art!! I asked what he thought, and he told me I have talent! I am so honored! He is like my hero, and he even put me in one of his paintings, based on my self portraits! I have attached it above. Diego is helping me forget about Alejandro, which makes me feel better. What a wonderful man!

[fridakahlo19]

1928

I am still working on my portraits! They appear to be my best form of painting. I have such a drive to improve, it feels like I am constantly working on them! This is my younger sister, Christina. She is so beautiful... I also have an older sister, Adriana, who I have painted as well, but I do not think I captured her as well as I captured Christina here. Plus, I truly love the colors in this one! It reflects the Renaissance style of painting with dark colors, which always created a beautiful contrast. I have also been influenced by artist Diego Rivera again... his work is incredible! I have seen some more of his pieces, and I am definitely becoming a fan. More to come soon! 

photograph from: http://www.fridakahlofans.com/c0030n.html

[fridakahlo19]

1928

I have painted another portrait, this time of Alejandro. This one is more like a photograph, realistic in stye. I do think I captured him quite nicely... I hope he will agree. We are keeping in touch through letters, but I am worried we will never be the same again now that he is convinced I have been unfaithful. I tell him of everything in my letters. I tell him about the pain (which is still awful, by the way), and updates on my condition. I hate being bedridden because my body becomes weak, while my mind is not. I ask him questions which I could not answer myself, such as "What is going to happen in 30 years?" or "How am I going to be when I am 30?" It feels as if I've grown old when I am only 21. I should be having fun, and accomplishing my dreams like the other young women, but instead I am stuck with the results of my accident. I captioned this painting "Alex, with affection I painted your portrait, that he is one of my comrades forever, Frida Kahlo, 30 years later." I am still left with a small sliver of hope that it will convince him of my everlasting love...

photograph from http://www.fridakahlofans.com/c0032.html

[fridakahlo19]

1927

Hello again! Not much is new with me, but I am recovering. Alejandro has left for a tour of Europe, and he will be gone for a long period of time. He departed in March. I am still missing him, but I try not to think of him during the day, as it is upsetting. Instead, I'm working on focusing on my artwork. I have discovered such a passion for painting. I already knew I loved it when I painted as a young girl, but this accident has helped me realize to what extent. Probably the one good thing to come out of this mess. By the end of this year, I will be able to see my old school friends again! I miss having a normal life. Who would have guessed an injury could ruin a person's whole life... I'm sure it has, but of course I didn't notice as much until it happened to me. The painting above is just another one of my projects, I decided to try out the Cubist style, one with many geometric shapes and lines, I find it very interesting. Different then my usual portraits, but I still see this as a success. It is called "The Adelita, Pancho Villa and Frida." That is me in the center, in the ruffled dress. I realize that the man next to me has no face, but I can not think of who he may be. Maybe it will come to me eventually. Part of the title (Adelita) is based on a Mexican song I know well. It's about a woman, Adelita, who is sad about the departure of her lover, who is a soldier. It's a very popular song. At this point, I am just looking forward to being normal again, more or less. I will continue to keep you updated! 

Photograph from: http://www.fridakahlofans.com/c0021.html