i.want.to.believe

PNW. Twenty Nine. Movement on Dreams, Stand Under None

[l0lsd]

[friendbase]

I’m feeling some resentment.

I don’t know how much more I can take. I have no desire to be affectionate when he treats me like I’m an annoyance. How can he expect me to “get it together” when I’m literally five months postpartum with a partner who is not understanding. He constantly uses negative language about me and does not make me feel seen or loved. Who cares if you cook or clean or feed the dog when that’s not what I’m asking for. I need to feel supported and heard. I need help washing my pump parts or waking early with baby so I can get some work hours in. I need some support when I say I’m struggling instead of calling me names and telling me I shouldn’t have anything to be depressed about.

It’s clear he doesn’t understand by the things he says. He says his life has changed but fails to see how I as the mom have literally no time for myself anymore. He still gets to sleep a full nights rest and he still gets to have his personal gaming time. I am running on empty with no time for myself for even basic hygiene. All of my baby free time is spent pumping, washing my pump parts, folding laundry, showering and drying my hair, and carrying the mental load. How can I be expected to fill his cup when my cup has a crack and is leaking? He says I shouldn’t have anything to feel depressed about because we have a good life, an easy baby, we don’t live in war ridden environments. There’s zero attempt at trying to understand the struggles I could have with balancing going back to work and being a mom and the effects it can have on me.

I want to be a good mom, a good wife, a good employee. But I’m struggling with postpartum and being away from baby. Of course I’m going to feel sensitive when he says things like I’m bitching and complaining. I’m expecting support and validation and instead I get name calling. In what other way should I respond when I’m shown coldness and lack of love? Am I magically supposed to be like, oh you’re right there’s nothing to be struggling with let me just get my shit together. It’s so depressing that he doesn’t recognize the power of his words and how they show a lack of understanding and sympathy. It’s so disappointing that I have chosen someone like this as my partner. It’s so disappointing that he won’t love and praise me as the mother of his child and he thinks it’s okay to talk to me like this. Like I’m the one acting crazy. I get why people divorce or cheat. They don’t feel loved or supported and they’re met with gaslighting when they ask for help. The struggles of being a single mom have to be better than the unhealthy communication I am going through. It’s always the same fight. He says it’s my tone and I say it’s his choice of words. I have no capacity to be conscious of my tone. I don’t believe him when he apologizes because a few weeks later, it’s the same stuff. If he’s as mentally stable as he says he is, he needs to step up for our family and change his reactions towards me and start showing me love. I can’t take this anymore. It’s not fair to my mental health or to baby to be around this.

[maureen2musings]

Frosty mornings

daniel_casson

[friendbase]

I just want to stay in the mothers lounge and cry

[friendbase]

Went to the doctor today to talk about my stroke like symptoms and he was so nice. I knew he wouldn’t have an answer or solve all my issues but he made me feel heard and made me feel like we’ll work together to figure out what’s causing all this.

[ashstfu]

doing stuff is so hard shout out to anyone who has done anything

[friendbase]

Sometimes I feel like I could do it better on my own but most times I know it’s better to be loved and accept love

[artedevintage]

[9kay9]

[ivecarvedawoodenheart]

like there comes a point where you think something is fundamentally wrong with you. and then it turns out it’s just Friday and you haven’t washed your hair in three days and maybe you’re also just a little lonely and the combination of all three of those things is whittling a hole into your chest every time you breathe. but also the sun’s up. and you’ve survived everything so far, so you’ll survive this too, even if it hurts, even if you have to survive it many times.

[lavender-melancholy]

[friendbase]

One of my friends is in a long term abusive relationship and she finally took the boys and left him. This is the first time she’s physically separated herself and I hope it lasts. I’m so proud of her and I’ve been waiting for this day for so long.

[ophelie-trichereau]

“Madeleine Silarjuangat” This is the last large solar system I made. I created it for a custom order so I personalised it with my client who offered it to his wife for her birthday last year ♥️ This embroidery is called “Madeleine Silarjuangat”, which means “Madeleine’s world” in Inuit. My client lives in Canada, he wanted to name his embroidery after his wife, the Inuit language has a rich history of stars and legends about life above. Thank you again Kirt! I hope to have more opportunities like this to create more unique and custom orders, it is always very interesting and challenging for me to have to work directly for a client. “Madeleine Silarjuangat” Hand embroidery. Unique piece. Custom order. 32 cm diameter. DMC embroidery thread, cannetille, Swarovski crystal beads, 24kt gold-plated beads, stone beads and glass beads on linen. Wooden frame. https://www.etsy.com/fr/shop/OphelieTrichereau I take custom orders. #embroidery #broderie #planets #solarsystem #universe #scienceart #spaceart #embroiderer #theearth #thesun #sun #mars #jupiter #saturn #cosmosartwork #handembroidery #ophelietrichereau #solarsystemembroidery #sunartwork #soleilart #planetembroidery #universeartwork #astronomyart #dmcembroidery #astroembroidery #astronomylovers #spaceembroidery #cosmicart #outerspaceart #galaxyembroidery

[theatricuddles]

[ID: An embroidery hoop of circles forming a solar system, with a large sun, various planets, and some beads to represent stars.]

[seabeck]

Ruby roots, before the rain

[memeuplift]

[lionfloss]

"American spiders and their spinning work: A natural history of the orb weaving spiders of the United States, with special regard to their industry and habits" (1889)

[grumpiie]

#SEA CREATURES !!