Shit My Friends Say

We do this thing where we get drunk, make out, and then cry.

[tilldeathdousart]

[friendblogging]

Nothing is sexy when it's red and filled with pus.

[friendblogging]

Men are like decimals less than one, when multiplied together they become smaller

[friendblogging]

But I got you a homosexual

[friendblogging]

Buy my Jesus toast, pope!!

[friendblogging]

I don't like aunt jemima. She's too thick.

[friendblogging]

Yes, yes, toxoplasmosis, yes

[friendblogging]

I hope I never have to bake and eat my best friend because they think their destiny is in the oven.

[friendblogging]

Look at my sexy socks

[friendblogging]

Sarah: No, I am not googling that

Abbi: what is wrong with googling "how to make Ben Schnetzer go on a quest for my boob using a voodoo doll?"

[friendblogging]

Ah, so about the minorities...

[friendblogging]

Your genitals don't have to have been in my mouth for me to share a fork with you.

[friendblogging]

Anything can be not healthy if you try hard enough

[friendblogging]

If Ben Schnetzer wants to fucking make me eggs everyday, I will let him!

[friendblogging]

Maybe he just likes anal

[friendblogging]

I remember when I hated the world.

[friendblogging]

*very seriously* have you not watched glee