oh hi thanks for checking in

Lizzy, She/her, 21. Sometimes I post other people's shitposts, sometimes I slave away for hours on end to handcraft my own beautiful organic shitposts. You're welcome.

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

engineer 1: we need a name for the front of the plane where the pilots sit

engineer 2: dick hole

engineer 1: hmm…almost

[rafawriter]

[sirowlington]

demolished

[obviouslypancakes]

Gottem!

[whyisthisfrenchguymasturbating]

i went to fact check this and he literally is

[celero-loves-dragons]

fuck them up philip

[jonathan-harks]

Ideas for the Lord of the Rings TV series

All-female cast

Musical-Dramedy using both songs from the books and original songs

Legolas/Gimli Pride and Prejudice AU

A fairly straightforward adaptation but with interviews and *looks at the camera*

Narration by Tom Bombadil

The series is told from the point of view of the horses

Feel free to add your own.

[sarahexplosions]

each episode is an exploration of how Aragorn got a different name

[imboromired]

Includes Boromir’s travel from Gondor to Rivendell, including that moment when he had lost his horse and had to walk on foot trough the wild lands.

[justaleafonatree]

It’s just a cooking show run by a hobbit (any of them I doesn’t matter at all) and the general storyline is just a loose plot going on in the background to make things less boring and appeal to a larger audience

[verycorrectlotr]

it’s just bilbo teaching the audience about various knitting patterns and you can hear faint screams and fighting in the background

[lloerwyn-deactivated20201104]

I would absolutely watch Sam’s travelling cooking show that just happened to have all these rousing adventures happening in the background.

Episode 1: How to make a wild mushroom omelette while fleeing the Nazgûl.

[johnnyjoestarrelatable]

short girls seeing the “if you want jeans with pockets, just shop in the men’s department!” post

[e-girlinterrupted-deactivated20]

me w/ my new mens pants

[glumshoe]

The “excuse me, I’m passing behind you” touch men give you when they read you as male:

The “excuse me, I’m passing behind you” touch men give you when they read you as female:

The “excuse me, I’m passing behind you” touch your friends give you:

[libertarian-therapist]

The “excuse me, I’m passing behind you” touch I give people regardless of gender

[kylostantrums]

[theinturnetexplorer]

Great Understatements in History

[fluidpuck]

Two fair men lie in water warm and slow,

As brothers are they joinēd heart to heart;

But Cupid hath not struck them with his bow;

Lest that be thought, they sit five feet apart.

[sugarssaur]

Me reading this: ok but why does this poem has so many… WAIT A SECOND

[porterr-robinson]

[sandersstudies]

This is so

Unnecessary

[myrrhguy-deactivated20250626]

how do you explain to someone that this is your sense of humour

[nemfrog]

A baby and an adult compared as if they were the same size.  Using Modern Science. 1951. 

[savethematches]

tumblr dont sleep on letterkenny

[little-sister-shotgun]

Honest to god I can’t understand anything any of them say.

[unorthodoxchronicles]

It’s two gay guys using hockey terms to catcall the two presumably straight hockey players (riley and jonesy) who then counter by being comfortable enough to accept the compliments. The conversation then continues along to describe different words and terms for a variety of queer folk as if said words were also hockey players. So when they say a word got cut it’s merely a euphanism for people agreeing not to use that term. The whole scene is two (presumably straight) men being educated gently on the subject by two gay men and listening rather than bickering.

[perissologist]

this dialogue is like something out of a greek drama it’s both downright melodic and utterly incomprehensible

[scify65]

Letterkenny is 100% the inheritor of Shakespeare’s legacy.

[wizardshark]

“lol Android users be like-” your phone is designed to break down after a year, your apps are all programmed to draw unnecessary power after 2 years, all your accessories and hardware are arbitrarily made with only 1 kind of plug in mind so you can’t use them with anything else or get them from anywhere else, the cables are 150$ and break in a year, your phones will not charge if there is lint in the port, the stores will ask you for 150$ to remove that lint, the phone itself is 900$

But your chat bubbles are blue so that balances it out right

[wizardshark]

they literally removed the audio plugin and called it a benefit that it can now only work with their arbitrary wireless headphones. They coloured the phones a pinky gold and sold it for twice as much.

This isn’t a drag against you this is a drag against apple, the company. Their products are price hiked to an insane, impossible degree. They aren’t selling you the product, they are selling you the superiority of being able to smugly say you have an iphone. 

They deliberately built up a culture of apple supremacy (especially as a class barrier but i aint even gonna go into that), and now people are making posts like “lmao android users have a bad camera” (they dont) or “lmao android users send bad snapchats” (the android version of snap is deliberately coded to force lower resolution images in order to, surprise, get people saying that exact thing to further encourage #iphoneculture)

Buy an iphone if you want lord knows I’ve bought frivolouss things but can you PLEASE recognize youre being deceived??? theyre playing you every single time you make a post about your iphone and buy into their culture to squeeze more and more money out of you and divide the market and inevitably the classes. 

[tarynel]

Imagine being able to detach your titties before bed.. so you could actually sleep on your stomach. Lol

[1000watttwat]

My dumb ass gon over sleep and forget my tiddies in the morning..

[grandpaq]

Keys … wallet… damn, my titties .

[moonthymes]

anyway jeff bezos could eradicate homelessness. he could literally give each homeless person 100k and it would only take less than .5% of his entire wealth. what the actual god giving fuck

[the-prolefeed]

Why do you think they deserve it

[killin-the-machine]

Well shelter is a basic need, and would at the very least allow them a place where they can get back on their feet. Food water and shelter are necessary for a healthy body and psychology. There’s also the fact that they’re people too, and a little help goes a long way in making a decent community. There’s plenty of reasons

[the-prolefeed]

Yeah they need stuff, but why does every homeless person deserve 0.5% of someone’s income

[teaboot]

You have five hundred apples, and just one day to eat them all. 

You pass by a small crowd of hungry children, and decide you’d rather 455 apples go rotten than give them to some snotty brat who isn’t your problem.

It doesn’t matter how hard you’ve worked for your 500 apples, or that you aren’t the parent of any of those kids. in the moment you decide to walk away, it doesn’t matter why they’re hungry, or who owes who what.

You had the opportunity to help people, you had the ability to help people, you had the resources to help people. You had everything you needed to make a small, tiny little difference in someone’s life, and you decided not to.

What are you going to buy in your lifetime that’s worth more to you than your own humanity?

[just-queer-things]

What are you going to buy in your lifetime that’s worth more to you than your own humanity

[i-sold-my-soul-to-thefandom]

Reblogging for the very, very important lesson

[smarter-than-the-republicans]

Sometimes I wish there were a Hell if only for the visuals of a bunch of rich shit heads wandering around on fire asking “Where’s my money?!”

[motherfucker-somewhat-limited]

[snorlaxatives]

me every time i see a child in a movie ever since i saw room (2015) dir. lenny abrahamson: who is this jacob tremblay knock off

[myrtlebroadbelt]

LOTR + The Onion headlines (2/?)

[anchovy-official]

Why is apple so obsessed with making very thin things at the expense of power and features

[anchovy-official]

“Yeah my computer doesnt have an hdmi, but at least it’s so thin and fragile that typing too hard could split the computer in half”