Spoke/cried at counselling today about how I feel like an alien and have been full of self-loathing since. I know the only way to make friends as an adult is to ultimately just do things - joining wee clubs and hobby groups and whatever else - but it feels beyond me. I'm so afraid of trying, so afraid of being perceived, so afraid of being vulnerable. Chronic illness has taken so many things from me but the one I can actually work to get back is some confidence and it just feels impossible despite putting in (what feels like) a lot of effort this year particularly. I'm scared I really do have nothing to offer.














