froot @frootytooti - Tumblr Blog

rarity-femme

do NOT get into fibre arts!!!! you try one and then all of a sudden you have 10 hobbies and wanna try 10 more

yessss… yes

Pizza VS Flower with bee on it VS Bisexuality VS Wind turbine

eda0bdedb8ba

For anyone who doesn't want to watch the video, he used a list of things from Wikidata, pared it down to about 8000 things that most people would have heard of, and made a website where people voted for the best option in randomly selected pairs of things.

Pizza was voted the 9th best thing, making it the best food. Bees weren't in the top 10 best things, but they won 77% of matchups to be selected as the best creature, followed by emperor penguins and hedgehogs. Bisexuality didn't place in the top 10 either, but it won 73% of matchups compared to heterosexuality winning only 45%. (Orgasms were the highest ranked sexual thing, and were miraculously ranked at number 69.) I think the windmill is supposed to stand for electricity, which was the second place winner. And the winner of "best thing" was sleep.

mclennonyaoi

this is objectively one of the worst opinions on history i’ve ever read thank you grimes.

pupyjpeg

This post is so so so funny because not only is this not some beautiful historical home being torn up by a philistine landlord —it's the hideous mcmansion foyer style of yesteryear being replaced by the hideous mcmansion foyer style of thisteryear— but also???

These are tradwife blogs!!! Ma'am, who do you think is doing these tacky suburban home renovations? The call is coming from inside the 6000 ft² house!

pupyjpeg

American tradshits when they see white paint:

animentality

dire-dire

badjokesbyjeff

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Not aware that 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: ‟Dark in here.” Man: ‟Yes it is.” Boy: ‟I have a baseball.” Man: ‟That’s nice.” Boy: ‟Want to buy it?” Man: ‟No, thanks.” Boy: ‟That’s my dad outside.” Man: ‟How much did you say the baseball was again?” Boy: ‟$250.”

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom’s lover are in the closet together.

Boy: ‟Dark in here.” Man: ‟Yes, it is..” Boy: ‟I have a baseball glove.” Man: ‟That’s nice.” Boy: ‟Want to buy it?” Man: ‟No, thanks.” Boy: ‟I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad.” Man: ‟How much did you say the glove was again?” Boy: ‟$750.” Man: ‟Fine.”

A few days later, the father says to the boy, ‟Grab your glove. Let’s go outside and toss the baseball!” The boy says, ‟I can’t. I sold them.” The father asks, ‟How much did you sell them for?” The son says, ‟$1,000.” The father says, ‟It’s terrible to over-charge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”

They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.

The boy says, ‟Dark in here.” The priest says, ‟Do not start that shit again.”

gotta-get-that-pma

JEFF WE TALKED ABOUT THIS

sewerfight-deactivated20250114

Imagine a bee rn in a hive muttering "the beekeeper is not real because he is not intervening or helping me at all with this disastrous relationship I have with another bee". now imagine that's you talking about the good lord. now imagine a dog with a propeller hat on