𝔘𝔫𝔦𝔠𝔬𝔡𝔢//𝔹𝕌𝕋𝕋𝕊 @frowardd-blog - Tumblr Blog

I just logged into tumblr for the first time in maybe a year?

It still sucks! Obvious problems they still haven’t fixed:

- each user can still build only one stream. There should be lists. - No group blogs, STILL!??? - mobile app still sucks apparently - gifs suck slightly less.

blackblackgold

HEY—Here's Some Great Ways To Shove Dead Loved Ones In Your Holes!

Word on the street is, losing your loved ones just got a whole lot naughtier. Now you can cure your corpse melancholy by filling a dildo with 21 grams of Gram and cramming it slam up your rim-ram. Imagine nana stretching your holes from beyond the grave at this very moment, sliding playfully in and out until you phantgasm; she’s a slippery devil so don’t get cocky! Cadaver? I hardly knew ‘er, but I’m putting her in a sex toy forever.

Spending a lifetime with a cherished person and then post-mortem shoving them way up inside your girl guts or hungry butt is basically like being a really good hacker, but on the world. This is pro-tip stuff only, but I recognize that many amateur memento moriphiles want to wise the hell up and fuck dead people ashes. You don’t need a ghost dildo to do it, anyone can can get a geist to haunt their holes. The following are a few tips 'n’ tricks for whaling on your cavities with the deceased until you make that gash splash or those nards barf. Bless ye.

The Momster Mash

Clean my room, how about I clean the floor with your pulverized bone and ash, mom? Not getting a job and doing yoga from Youtubes earned me my real payday. After I crush and smush this gritty sitch like zee finest wine, then walla, my mushy hooves are going right inside. Now I’m pregnant with my feet.

Say “Uncle”!

Back when I was a teen (and occasionally as a tween) my uncle would take me to Taco Bell. Now he’s dead, and I live in Berlin where Taco Bell doesn’t exist. Sometimes I’ll choke myself out instead of eating so I can pretend I’m choking on chalupas, nachos, flyspeck salad with extra hot sauce, funny dog commercial and delicious kitten turd steak, and whenever someone finds me I just laugh it off with a wink and a, “Whoa, haha—too many Baja Blasts, m’man!” If they’re a cop I say it while discreetly reflecting a middle finger giving “the bird” from my gadgetscreen off my mirrored shades. Tweet #UnWrapped if you believe that social justice is a false concept served for shit breakfast and stuffed inside a soggy waffle shell. #UnWrap the flavor of death.

Grandpa Jeff Is Poop Now

I still remember the last thing you said to me: “Xbox doesn’t build character.” Now I’m putting the dung in bildungsroman by feeding you to a sextuplet of sows, sweatin’ an gruntin’, packed pork heavin’ to go hog wild on PeePaw Jeff’s flesh and then releasing it as waste, in the manner of many animals. Goodbye to rules, forever. Seance results say feed my six hungry pigs.

I just spelled “restaurant” properly four times in a row

it was the biggest ego boost I’ve had all week

im gonna text some girls now

cute-overload

frowardd-blog

placesiknowtoowell:THE LARGE DOGS LOVE ME I AM APPRECIATED

thelemita

theloriroo

If Orphan Black has taught me one thing its that your hair and clothes really make a difference to how you look.

I mean how

is

this

the

same

Actress?

Sorcery!

abqandnotu

husband really needed convincing that these were all the same woman.

Senator Dr. Larry Stutts (R-Sheffield) has offered SB289, which would repeal a woman’s legal right to remain in the hospital for 48 hours after a normal live birth and 96 hours if the birth was cesarean or presented complication.

.. a law based, in part, on the death of one of his patients.

Stutts was her OB/GYN and was named in the wrongful death suit filed by her husband Gene Church. The suit states, among other things, that Rose Church was released from the hospital despite the fact that she “was suffering from placenta accreta and continued to display persistent tachycardia.”

This is monstrous.

#alabama #shithole #The South #southern boy #southern girl #bama #football