The longing that consumed me in my youth

|| Indie Chuuya Nakahara from BSD || Written by 404 ||

[frthtntdsrrw]

[diverse-hearts‌]:

Oh.

So the ability could still be activated but it seemed as though it was rather weak. Was this all that someone like Chuuya could do against the weird contraptions that Kyran cooked up in that lab of his? It was fasinating to watch, arms crossed infront of his chest as he just studied the male before him, a smile appearing as it almost sounded as though he’d just been given an order from the one who was wrapped in so many chains.

“Chuuya! Was this rudness what got you trapped down here like this?”, he chuckled lightly, walking around to the other side of the trapped male, laying a hand against the other side of his neck, once again, the sentation of many tiny needles digging into his flesh would be felt, “If you give me your story I may not make you bleed…your choice. I wanna know just what lands someone like you into the pits like this. I’m sure it’s a fasinating story. Kyran’s acting like christmas came early! He gets to do all sorts with you”.

    This time reaction was less violent, as it was more expected, even if it was almost as unpleasant, it was still stronger sensation than rest, still dulled by drugs and medicine. Pain appeared on his face as he once again tried to distans himself from hand and the feeling, even if it was just as meaningless as before.     Attempt of deal only irritated him. Like hell he wants to explain it, if it wasn’t obvious. What would that give Daichi anyway? Satisfaction of hearing a fun story how Chuuya’s views were contradicting Mori’s? Something to additionally tease him about, like fact that he was chained up in a cell and more likely won’t be getting out any time soon? Chuuya won’t gain anything from this, so as well he could bleed. It would be nothing new on his side of things.

    “ ...just do it, instead of attempt to mess with me.... I don’t want and won’t talk about it. “ And bleeding, even if it wasn’t the best thing, he went through worse and if he won’t be killed by other there’ll be more to come. Honestly, it felt like death at this point would be mercy compared to being a lab rat and toy for everyone.     “ Either way you are planning to do it earlier or later, don’t you? “ Besides other more likely had a lot of enjoyment from his pained expressions and reactions.

[frthtntdsrrw]

[diverse-hearts‌]:

It was a tiresome and bothersome role to play sometimes. To hold such power and to place the pawns into the position for a win, only for them to divert and do their own thing. Those who had been here for years yet turned their back on the organisation as though it were nothing more than a bothersome insect - and insignificant part that bore no weight in the overall burden of their life. His gaze met Chuuya’s, watched as he pulled against the chains, as his ability caused nothing more than a tiny dent in the floor he stood against. It was almost a shame that things had fallen to this outcome. But he was no longer going to play nice - not to those who could be bothersome if they happened to get any stupid ideas stuck in their mind. Tachihara was just yet another problem to have walked out the door and though he was aware of the suspicious activity he’d been up to, it stun still. He’d never say such out loud though. “I’m simply looking after my assets. Lately you’ve been questioning my choice, questioning the orders given - and I’m sure your aware of how much I despise such things? There are only three rules to follow inside this organisation and yet here you are, one of my best, arguing about the words that you should follow with no issue”. He’d wheeled out a metal tray, lined with different clear bottles and syringes. This wasn’t the more pleasant of ways to get the truth but it was a way.

    Looking after the assets? Locking them up and bringing out whatever was in these bottles. That seems more like a test of something than taking care of person, on the other side it’s Mori, who knows what exaclty he has on his mind at that moment, besides that, in Chuuya’s opinion, petty punishment.     Sight of tray was definetly something that made him more uneasy about the situation and as long as it was shameful of him, executive allowed emotions to take over. Few more pulls on chains, angry, yet worried expression on his face, hoping that everything would be back to normal, that chains would break under his ability. This wasn’t place anyone would like to end up, not with tray right besides him, hinting at what is about to happen.

    “ I still finish my missions according to orders. I think I have some fucking right to my own opinions. Or thinking by myself is now not allowed as well in Port Mafia?! “ He pretty much growled all that was on his mind, yet body moved away from the tray, limited only by chain’s lenght.  Despite being completely concious, some basic instinct of survival and fear were taking over. It was easy to tell by the small movement away both from Mori and medical equipment, mafioso didn’t even notice himself. “ I did nothing wrong. Let me go. “ Why something about that felt so terrifying? Maybe because he was aware Mori has diffrent opinion and in one way or another he’ll try to push it into his mind. Still he tried to hopefully talk it out before tragedy happens. In worst case he’ll be risking his health in state of corruption. Not like Mori would make whatever he plans easier.

[frthtntdsrrw]

@eiinandererweg​ : " Obviously I have to mark my dog, don't I? " A chuckle passes his lips as he drags the knife along Chuuya's side, first pressing the blade softly against the skin before adding more pressure to the point the skin breaks and blood starts to drip out. He doesn't stop and continues until the knife is deep inside of Chuuya. " This won't heal so fast~ Fantastic, isn't it? "

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    There was moment of doubt when he saw knife, called back into that office once again, which questioned his reason, yet reply... wasn’t satisfying. Dog. Just Dazai’s pet or weapon to use when needed. Like hell he needed another ‘mark’, but at this point there was no strenght in him opposing other, so he just sat down and waited for what was about to come.     Begining wasn’t that bad, he barely flinched at the touch of blade. There was part of him that hoped for this to be all, but knowing Dazai it was nothing more than a dream of cut-off head. Pressure increased rather slowly, which only made whole experience even more painful. Even if mafioso should already get used to such treatment, his hand went towards to handle and body tried to get it out, only causing bigger damage for himself. It hurt, slightest shift was enough to almost paralise him from pain.      Not like that mattered to Dazai or anyone else. He’ll be sent soon somewhere anyway.

    “ I-I’m... not going to be able to fight properly with that wound open... Can I go get stitches on that? “ There was no point in trying to discuss/argue with him. Despite that stitches will be probably quickly popped, it was always better than just allowing injury to bleed or taking them without other’s knowledge, just to be cut open again for not following orders or other bullshit.

[sortofrpmemes]

Violent/Abusive Sentence Starters

trigger warning for gore, violence, abuse & other stuff 

“ Crunch of your bones is really satisfying~ “

“ Maybe if you didn’t do shitty job, you’d be handled nicer. “

“ Your body bruises easily, doesn’t it? I’ve barely punched you few times. “

“ Bullet through one leg isn’t enough? Let’s take out you other leg as well then. “

“ Two bullets aren’t enough? Do I need to waste more bullets on you? “

“ I’ll be nice to let you choose - your arm or leg? Which we’re breaking first? “

“ How many times I need to hurt you to make you understand you have no word in it?! ”

“ Everything hurts and you need a break? Okay… …I think that’s enough time. “

“ Looks like I opened up some old wounds, too bad for you, I’m not going easier on you because of that. “

“ Unless you want another punch in the face, shut the fuck up! “

“ You shouldn’t get in my way if you didn’t want this to happen. “

“ Red looks lovely on you. I think I’m gonna cut you up even more~ “

“ I don’t care if you’re sorry, I’m not stopping until I’m satisfied. “

“ Besides your entertaining reactions on pain, there’s nothing good about you. That’s why I’m hurting you. I’m giving you a meaning “

“ Stop crying it’s only a wrist. Unless you want another one damaged as well~ “

“ Look up, I want to see your pained expression as I hurt you. “

“ Looks like punches enough don’t make a trick. Should I pull out a knife or gun~? “

“ Baseball bat is more effective than I thought. Is that all you can take? “

“ Only reason you’re alive is my entertaiment, look how lovely your blood looks! “

“ I want to hear your screams, try to muffle them and I’ll only get more violent. “

“ You should think before doing anything, unless you enjoy as I hurt you? Because I sure do~ ”

“ I think we’re done here. Get up and show you’re breathing. I wouldn’t want my toy to die so quickly. “

“ Dying? What a joke, until I say so, you can’t die, so you better get yourself together. “

[frthtntdsrrw]

[diverse-hearts‌]:

@frthtntdsrrw​ asked for a Shirase Starter /o/

He’d done this before - orders given by the same person, for the same reason. Take out the enemy before it can become an issue. He’d even used his ability and yet he still felt hesitation as he twisted his blade deeper into the redhead’s side - the other’s ability not affecting him due to this not being an actual body but it would affect the knife and Shirase could only keep up this contact with a physical object for so long before he’d snap back to his body. Eyes narrowed, watching the others gaze as his hand finally passed through the blade, Shirase taking a few steps away as he stared down at Chuuya. Same as last time - just a different blade with a more potent poison.

    Why would he believe that seeing someone from his past could be a good sign? Thanks to that he once again hesistated before acting against Shirase, allowing him to be stabbed once again. First reaction was to just push other away, as foolish as it might be, still he wasn’t going to hurt him.     Executive’s eyes opened wide, as he tried to grab other, yet his hand went through. There was one or two more attempts. That’s an ability, right? There was no other explanation for that, but was it his? If so, then when and how other get it? Was someone else using ability on him?

“ W-what? “ After moment he just slid down to the ground, poison spreading in his body. It was something way stronger than last time, as he struggled with moving his hand over the injury soon after the worst part of initial shock passed. After moment he just looked down, it pained him to see his old friend in such situation.      “ So that’s how it is... huh? “ Yet, there was no clear emotion, no anger, no grief, no anything. As dumb as it might’ve sound, he was okay with that. Weak smile appeared on his face. “ I know it’s a foolish request but.... could you at least stay until the end? It kinda sucks to be on the verge of dying by yourself, besides there’s chance I’ll survive left unsupervised.. “ He doubted that second part though, considering tools used this time and small cough that escaped him.

[frthtntdsrrw]

@diverse-hearts​ : "Where or where can the vessal be hiding?". Kyran hummed a little, tossing the little doll of Chuuya in the air and catching with one hand, digging a pin into the figure each time that it was caught, "How much pain can you take before you give up? The boss isn't happy with you, Chuuya. Come out, come out - you'll be such a nice little lab rat to tear apart" - Kyran

————————————————◀▶————————————————

    Things are escalating bit too quickly. Started from doubts, turned into full on argue, though it’s more of a war against Mori at this point. Or one sided hunt, even if there was part hoping it’d just stay between them. Obviously it wouldn’t be that easy, everyone else needed to start getting involved in this bullshit and obviously it was him against everyone. Still another sharp, stab-like feeling brought him back to current struggle.     How pathetic it had to look like? Him hiding away from another mafioso, forcing himself to stay quiet, because of the damned ability. It was such a pain, in all possible meanings. But his damned voodoo ability had to have some kind of limit. Time, distance, anything, as amount of damage isn’t one of limits for sure. Considering he wasn’t the tallest bit helped him, it was easier to avoid other that way. Maybe if he’s lucky he’d be able to get out of area of doll’s effect. After all he is partially used to dealing with it, especially right after waking up out of corruption.     But of course luck wasn’t on his side. Just as he was about to move away, his body apparently hit the limit with yet another wave of pain. Instead of going forward, his body just fell to the ground, twitching from all this struggle, feeling not much better than from aftermath of corruption. It was too much. Loud swear escaped him, as he tried to get up. It didn’t matter who - he wasn’t just allow himself to become something to experiment on, ever again, be it Mafia or Goverment. Still in the meanwhile Kyran caught up to him and despite lack of barely any strenght to move, he wasn’t going to be nicer or submissive at all.

    “ I’m not going to be a lab rat, not to you, not to anyone. Fuck off and let me go. “ Despite demanding tone, he knew it’ll more likely give barely any to no effect, yet it was worth a try. He was an executive after all

[frthtntdsrrw]

@eiinandererweg​ : “ Chuuya… I hope you’re aware that going against my orders is a horrible thing, right? I don’t care what your opinion on that matter is. You know that you have to follow my every word and if not? Oh, well, I’m sure Kouyou-san will enjoy the torture I put her through… especially if she hears that it was your fault. Isn’t that lovely? “ He had grabbed Chuuya by his choker, pulling him closer so that he was forced to look him directly into the eyes. “ So now go and finish where you left of. "

————————————————◀▶————————————————

    Even if most of the times he did follow orders, there was part that was getting sick of it. Attempt obviously didn’t go well, though he was completely aware he’ll more likely pay for this, which is why he stayed completely silent. It wouldn’t be anything new, looking what Dazai was dragging almost everyone through. At least until he heard the threat     Hands curled up into fists, forcing himself to not punch life out of him. This dirty bastard was pretty much taking a hostage out of her. If it wasn’t Dazai, he’d might doubt anyone could do that to her, but it wasn’t a case. Lack of any morality and his messed up mind were only reassurance that he was willing to go this far. He was so struggling with his anger, than next action slightly startled him and small yelp escpaed when choker was used to get him closer.     After moment of staring at each other, he just closed his eyes and turned his head away. He hated him so fucking much. Dazai perfectly knew where to press, if it was only his torture he’d withstand that somehow. Yet Kouyou being tortured because of him was obviously not a thing he was going to allow. Despite the annoyed expression there was sigh of defeat, before he pushed other away, or at least tried to.

    “ Don’t... Just don’t drag her into this. I’ll finish it off. “ He didn’t want to, but there’s no thing as a choice in this moment. “ Go fucking die already. “ He didn’t really care if Dazai heard that last part, though it was more of a growl under the nose. He had no right to hurt Kouyou over than and he’ll take whatever fucked up punishment or torture other would come up with.

[frthtntdsrrw]

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[frthtntdsrrw]

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Inbox call || like/comment ||

[jamsmemes]

(     *     VALENTINE’S DAY PROMPTS   !    

send a symbol from your muse to mine.   add  ↪  for a reverse from my muse to yours !

🍳   :   cook breakfast in bed for my muse.

💝   :   give a box of chocolates to my muse.

🍿    :   watch a rom-com with my muse.

💐   :   give flowers to my muse.

👙    :   buy lingerie for my muse.

💌   :   leave my muse a card from a secret admirer.

🍽️   :   take my muse out for dinner for two.

❤️   :   give a gift to my muse.   (   specify.   )

🐶   :   surprise my muse with a puppy.

🐱   :   surprise my muse with a kitten.

💔   :   break up with my muse.

🏩   :   book a valentine’s trip away with my muse.

💍    :   propose to my muse.

🔥    :   flirt with my muse.

😳   :   confess your muse’s love to my muse.

😘   :   kiss my muse.

🐻   :   give my muse a valentine’s teddy bear.

💃    :   dance with my muse.

🚫   :   spend valentine’s day with my muse platonically   :   no partners allowed !

[frthtntdsrrw]

@heruhaundo​ : “you’ll be even worse off if you don’t let me bandage this.”  || caring for stubborn muses ||

————————————————◀▶————————————————

    Just quick glance on the injury on his side on the comment. His clothes were already stained with blood from this cut and it was easy to tell it might cause him to limp a bit. Does that mean he’d bend and accept help?     No, only moment when he would accept a hand was moment he turned back from corruption. As long as he can walk on his own, it was okay.

    “ I’m fine, it’s just a scratch comparing to things I’ve been through. I’ll take care of it when we’re back. You should pay more attention to yourself. “ Executive sidetracked to put more focus on Akutagawa, as he was aware, partially thanks to how harsh Dazai was, would ignore even worse damage.     “Did you take care of your injuries? “

[frthtntdsrrw]

@suicidefrantic​ : He had one thing that he loved and that was tormenting his partner. He couldn't help but tease Chuuya about his height, he made it really way to easy. “Hey, crawl in there. You fit in there, shorty.” By 'there' the brunette meant that Chuuya could fit into a small crawl space in the room. - Short and Tall (How could I not, I mean~) (Can be dark era or my AU Mafia--- legit fine with either)

————————————————◀▶————————————————

    Why he was partners with him?! It never ended well for him, either fuming through whole missions and ‘going overboard’ which caused both of them trouble or just straight up fighting other in middle of mission.     It more likely wasn’t going to be much better this time. Chuuya’s eyes for a moment went towards the small space, before turning back to Dazai, visibly displeased, at least more than he already was just by working with him.

    “ I’m sure with bit of force and few broken bones you can fit in as well. Dare to test that theory? “ When it comes to Dazai, he didn’t exactly need to use his ability to do such damage, so even other’s ability wouldn’t be in the way.

[frthtntdsrrw]

[diverse-hearts‌]:

@frthtntdsrrw​ asked for a starter [X]

“How far the mighty have fallen”. He hums a little tune as he comes to a stop before the cell that holds the young man who he used to have to take such annoying orders from. Not that he listened most of the time anyway. He was always a wild card and no one was going to be able to tame that side of his character. Still - he didn’t know why Chuuya had fallen from the Boss’ grace but it honestly didn’t matter to him.

Keys fell into his hands as he walked to the door, unlocking the cell, a low whistle being heard as he paused before where he was shackled to the wall. “Hmm - so I guess Kyran’s drug works then? You’d have torn your way out of here otherwise”. With a grin, he took a step closer, laying an un-gloved hand against the side of his neck, “I wonder - if your pride broken as much as it seems?”. With that, the sensation of lots of tiny needles diving into the side of his neck could be felt - no blood ran at the moment, no. He was going to turn him on like a fountain - once he had his fun.

    At the begining there was barely any response, just slightly raised eyes to see who was there, before again just staring at the ground, allowing mafioso to do as he wish. He barely felt hand on his neck, before the ability was activated.     Comparing to everything that was dulled thanks to the drug, sudden sensation with no surprise cause stronger reaction, even if it was just pulling himself away from other. But even that was limited considering chains that were keeping him almost in one place, alongside whatever was injected into his body. Small red glow appeared on chains, yet it barely do anything, besides pulling chains backward, only more limiting his movement, before he completely gave up on his ability. Feeling wasn’t going to disappear anytime soon, considering Daichi’s nature and ability. Was there reason or way to escape it anyway?     Still there was a small pause as he was putting words together. Did he only came here to see how far he fell? Wasn’t that clear enough?

    “ ...If that’s all you wanted to know.... then get away... I have nothing to tell you... “ Even now, despite his spirit being completely shattered, there were small pieces of pride left, especially when it comes to contact with people who were below Mori, or maybe just distaste towards Daichi and his current actions.

[andhungry]

soulmate au prompts.

send a number for a starter / drabble based off a specific soulmate au!  most are taken from this list.  feel free to add more if you want!  (can also be adapted to fit poly ships!)

the one where you only see color once you meet your soulmate.

the one where you have your soulmate’s name written on your body.

the one where you and your soulmate have matching marks on your bodies.

the one where you and your soulmate have matching marks and the marks glow when you’re near your soulmate.

the one where you don’t know your soulmate until you touch them.

the one where when you dream you’re seeing whatever your soulmate is currently experiencing.

the one where you and your soulmate share an emotional link.

the one where your soulmate’s first words to you are written on your body.

the one where your soulmate’s last words to you are written on your body.

the one where you have a timer on your wrist that counts down to when you meet your soulmate.

the one where soulmates share extreme physical sensation — if one gets hurt, the other gets hurt, and etc.

the one where soulmates can heal each other’s injuries.

the one where only your soulmate can kill you.

the one where color appears on your body wherever your soulmate first touches you.

the one where every lie your soulmate tells you appears on your skin.

the one where anything written on your skin appears on your soulmate’s skin as well.

the one where your soulmate’s name is on one wrist and your enemy’s name is on the other and you have no clue which is which.

the one where whenever you get a song stuck in your head, it’s because your soulmate is singing it.

the one where soulmates are reincarnated and keep finding each other throughout their different lives.

the one where you don’t know your soulmate until you hear them say your name.

the one where you can talk to your soulmate in dreams.

the one where it’s impossible to lie to your soulmate.

the one where once you meet your soulmate, it’s physically uncomfortable to be apart from them for too long.

the one where you have a compass on your body that leads you to your soulmate.

the one where you have the date you’ll meet your soulmate on your wrist.

the one where you have the date your soulmate will die on your wrist.

the one where you can transfer any injuries/pain your soulmate has onto yourself.

the one where some people can see the red string of fate and follow it to their soulmates.

the one where your soulmate’s ghost haunts you when they die.

[xdazaiosamux]

Playing With Fire

[frthtntdsrrw]

[xdazaiosamux‌]:

The Arahabaki incident wasn’t so long ago - three weeks, give or take a few days. At that time Dazai already had a feeling the two teens would put together more often in future. He had only hoped it would take a little longer.

“You’re a nuisance.” The young mafioso blurted out in a completely dry tone. Those were the first words spoken after a long time of silence. It wasn’t like Chuuya and Dazai didn’t already have their fair share of arguments. Quite the contrary, in fact. This mission was filled with taunts and goads but when the insults became worse and worse, they decided to give it a break. Until now, at least.

The mood was stiff as they walked towards their destination. It was obvious that neither of them was thrilled to be there but what choice did they have?

The reasoning behind this seemingly odd partnership was understandable and Dazai could see why Mori decided to unite them. Their abilities and fighting style complemented each other too well to pass on this opportunity. However, that didn’t mean he had to like it.

Chuuya was just a bit too brash and quick-tempered, not to mention he kicked him into a wall the first time they met. He was still a little sour about that. As fun as it was to mess with the shorter boy, he was used to the quiet and reserved type. Chuuya clearly didn’t mince his words.

@frthtntdsrrw

    It was already tiring, with amount of harsh words exchanged, which now turned into unpleasant silence. Either way it was horrible that once again he needs to spend time with someone like Dazai. They were completely diffrent, yet almost always put together. Can’t he have someone better for a partner?! Or Mori hopes they would get along? Not in the milion years     Annoyed sigh escaped Chuuya before responding to yet another insult. It was all there was to their ‘talks’ after all and that’s definetly one of worst things in Port Mafia - there’s barely anyone to talk to with reason and being teamed up with Dazai wasn’t helping at all.

    “ I can exactly say same thing about you. “ His hands were slightly trembling, holding back from punching other. That can wait until they’re finally done, but after they done he’s definetly breaking Dazai’s nose if no one stopped him.     “ The target of our mission is nearby if I’m not mistaken, let’s just hurry up and get over with it. The sooner the better, so I don’t need to stare at your ugly face. “ Now focus on the mission though, which hopefully will be over soon.

[oopsiewoopsie123]

SOFT ANGST; II

send one for my muse's reaction!

“You can say goodbye later, when one of us is dead.” “Bonds and hope are too bright for me.”  “Listen, I-I get it, okay? You’re a little sad about being back. Who wouldn’t be?“  “Look, [NAME], I just… Just take care of yourself. Okay?”  “Love me - please, I’m begging you.” “It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault.”  “You’re gonna be okay.” “You’re better off on your own.“  “Even if I meet you in my dreams, it’s meaningless as you are not here.” “People always tell me that I look like I’m not thinking about anything. And sometimes… I think they might be right. I think… I’m really bad at expressing myself, compared to everyone else.”  “Are you sure you’re okay with me?”  “I don’t do friends anymore, just to avoid any distractions.”  “I’m really sorry. I wasn’t there for you when you needed me.”  “I know I could do better if I just had another chance.” “It’s like you’re avoiding me.” “I don’t love you.“  “You’re asking me to leave?“  “Our time is running out.”  “Unfortunately, I’m not your friend.” “Even while I’m away, know that I’ll be watching you from afar.” “We’ll meet again one day.” “Hey, embrace me so I know I’m alive.” “Joy and sorrow, I want to engrave them deeply into myself.” “With your eyes, with a kiss, please leave a proof of our love.” “The mirage we can see in the distance - even though it frightens us, someday will reflect our future.” “When our two helpless hearts draw close to each other the real sadness will spread its wings.” “A sad scenery like this… You turn it into light.” “There are secrets in your heart. Even so, I want to touch it.” “If we touch each other we will break.” “Into a world this bright you take me with you.” “The fragility of the things I believe in, you turn it into light.” “The things that were lost and the things that never change are glittering in this cruel sky.” “Promise me you’ll never lie to me.”  “How can I believe you? You lied to me after promising you wouldn’t.”  “We live for the sake of dying some day.” “You want to live, right?” “I don’t want to get used to kindness.”

[frthtntdsrrw]

lyrical starter call || like/comment ||