Oh my god red thread quest…. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god…..lee yeon i get you i too cry everytime you two interact oh my god….. the metaphor of the little black rock ARE YOU KIDDING ME. AUGH. AUGH. AUGH. Man….. just unable to resist coming back to hkh even after all that because he loves him so damn much….oh my god. HKH AUGH. AUGHGAUAAAUUUGHHHG YOU ARE MY ENEMY. Why is he so chews bites gnaws. What do you mean you’ll happily forget because you have full faith that you’ll meet again…what do you mean you’ll live so fully and happily that the rock will feel safe to come back….oh my god.
Why is hkh literally “when you fall for someone so hard you live for them” what the fuck. What the fuck do you mean. What do you mean you carried a little glass rose with you every day for years and became a murderous child soldier and engineered half a coup for your not-even lover???? What do you mean you called your not-even soulmate angel from the beginning and fought for years to return to him oh my god. Whatd o you mean… what the fuck. Oh my god. Hes so fucking crazy fr…when the core of your character is meant to be wild and free and yet you keep falling in love at first sight w ly over and over and over again 😭😭😭😭😭
Oh my god red thread quest…. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god…..lee yeon i get you i too cry everytime you two interact oh my god….. the metaphor of the little black rock ARE YOU KIDDING ME. AUGH. AUGH. AUGH. Man….. just unable to resist coming back to hkh even after all that because he loves him so damn much….oh my god. HKH AUGH. AUGHGAUAAAUUUGHHHG YOU ARE MY ENEMY. Why is he so chews bites gnaws. What do you mean you’ll happily forget because you have full faith that you’ll meet again…what do you mean you’ll live so fully and happily that the rock will feel safe to come back….oh my god.
FINALLY TGED ART RAAJKDSJSKS tged is all i've had in my head for the last 5 or 6 months djskdj
dumb comics + explorations (I've never been so obsessed at drawing characters "right" in my style, i mean liking how I draw them, distinct from each other to avoid same face syndrome and in a way I can keep consistent. I even made some bad 3d models of their heads to keep them consistent lol and I hate using 3d programs) I've never been more obssessed your honor
wasnt sure if i liked silver or mint hair for javier, but i think I'll go with silver from now on
I love it when there's a guy who lost their name. forgot it, discarded it, don't use it, can't use it, had it stolen, even just when a title is used to avoid saying it. all good stuff
I like reading DE fanfic but imo the characterization of Harry and Kim is like several steps away from canon in the majority of fics. There is a dynamic that writers tend to favor that is Harry as expressive, clingy, does dumb and impulsive things for the sake of it and Kim the stoic, patient, empathetic minimalist.
And in canon Harry pretty explicitly struggles to form regular facial expressions while Kim has to put substantial effort into controlling his. Harry can choose to go off without Kim or attempt to drive him away while Kim will very rarely leave him alone. Kim is also almost always the one to initiate physical contact between them. Harry typically has some sort of internal reasoning behind his actions, even if they seem nonsensical to an onlooker, but Kim will often do things or agree to plans just because it amuses him.
The biggest thing that bothers me is that in fics Kim often takes on a role of a sort of mediator, settling disagreements, deescalating situations, clearing up misunderstandings. I think that in many ways, that’s the kind of person that he aspires to be, but canonically he has pretty fucking awful people skills. He can barely have a conversation without putting on the role of Cop. I think that one of the main things he admires about Harry is his ability to read people and connect with them.
Idk man. Let Kim be a socially awkward dork and let Harry have more depth than a golden retriever archetype
Just finished MADK and hhhhhooouuhhhhhh my god. Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. I like. Need to study. And also to sleep bc its. 2am. So im writing this so i can hopefully stop feeling like ive just had my entire brain chemically rearranged. (Spoilers)
J not knowing how to escape bc hes embedded himself so deeply in the top among the rigid castes of demonic hierarchy so he grooms a successor to take his place so he can be freed from the constant power struggle in a way that is understood. He like very much reminds me of lestat from itwv actually he wants so so badly to be known that he is willing to drag someone innocent and good into his world and completely corrupt them at the first hint of potential understanding and knowledge altho im not gonna go too too deep into that comparison rn bc im still buzzing off the finale chapter MY GOD. Im gonna throw up. His conversation with his young self (????? I think???) when he admitted he forsook his own identity so he could become anyone bc he was so afraid of being known versus the utter euphoria he experienced when makoto told him he found his name the raw desperation he showed everytime makoto continued his pursuit of jonathans destruction how he continued to push him towards it the many subtle and clear ways he never saw makoto as a person until the very last few moments when he hurt him again.
Makoto going from a young man so desperate to find acceptance and understanding from anyone that he summons a demon to becoming the demon himself… the way he lovingly, carefully preserves the shell of the original body that Jonathan gave him but ALSO “theres not an inch of this body i haven’t tinkered with” IM CRAZY. He consumed the body that jonathan gave him too he made it his own by exploring it to the last inch and customizing it to his standards but ALSO every single inch of his body was dedicated to jonathan like. The werewolf teeth to emulate his master the wild predator looking ass tentacle dick so he could eat jonathan again from the inside out and fill him up with his cock in every way the wings he stole from his brother k the clothing he STILL keeps from when jonathan dressed him oh im going crazy. Im going so crazy.
Also maybe im delusional but the way that jonathan makes what seems like all of his …pets? Successors??? Victims??? Go thru prostitution. Not only is the sex between makoto and fjord so interesting as an expression of how the ugliness of abuse and exploitation can be disguised or softened and how it can come from the people who abuse one’s reliance and trust in them to use one for their own ends but also like. I wonder how much this has to do with Jonathan’s own experiences as a child prostitute? Idk idk i hardly think that jonathan is trying to like, make another him like how makoto wants to groom someone to fill the void jonathan left in him at the end but i cant help but feel that there is something there, like rly every single guy went thru the brothel????? And also jonathans own insistence that the sex was a way to strengthen makoto and inure him to the cruelty of the initialed demon world. Hmmmm. Squints. Very fascinating i feel.
God i also love all the side characters as well, truly like, every single part of this series is so like, gruesomely beautiful???? Its so well written and orchestrated that i wish it was like 90 chapters instead of 19 but there is so much depth to all of these people GOD. But like fjord (maybe) datenshou and maybe kieran the only decent beingd in the entire thing im so happy datenshou had a happy ending agh!!!
Datenshou also being such a clear depiction of abuse and grooming my god. His desperation to be loved the way he was when he was young the mindless obedience of a child who only knew that he was praised when he behaved and couldn’t see further than that and now has to grapple with the fact that the person he loved and the person who raised him didn’t actually love him for that and wasnt as good as he believed….augh. Aughihgjoufhh. Gghyguhg. Letting himself be exploited and raped as “punishment” when he betrayed jonathan because he saw it as his due…he didn’t know any other way to redeem himself… smothering humans in love until they physically cannot be parted from him bc they are so addicted to him and then being so obsessed with jonathan that he literally falls as a initialed demon when he betrays him to makoto….. my god. Oh my god. Im foaming at the mouth.
Also vol 1 makoto so fuckin real for having crazy kinks and being repressed and fucked up abt it enough that he summoned a demon ate his guts and fell in love when he was accepted abt it. I fr cant blame you bro if the most beautiful demon ive ever seen appeared in front of me in hs intertwined our bodies in the most visceral way possible and told me i wasnt a bad person for having evil sexual thoughts i would also have manifested a whole new level of mental illness and obsession.
Also also god the overarching metaphor of cannibalism as love and desire and obession and the visceral way gore and desire is intertwined with jonathan and makoto and the brothel patrons and makoto and kieran and just. Every single interaction. I started madk BECAUSE of the first chapter (dont even get me started on the throat fucking (literal) and the intestine fucking and the organs my god. My god. Madk rly said oh you wanted sick and twisted??? Huh??? And blew it outta the water) and oh my god. The obsession and love and hatred and possession and cruelty and just. Im gonna be thinking abt this for the next year oh my fuck.
