fuck bitches, get money

for a moment i feel i'm l o s i n g it, throw my temper down and bury it, The [ e a r t h ] will r e a c h the sky, If you talk me out of my needs, And stitch me up at the [ s e a m s ], And I could live in my ;; d r e a m s . niamh finnigan-thomas. 17. gryffindor. +var fhs = document.createElement('script');var fhs_id = "5294415"; var ref = (''+document.referrer+'');var pn = window.location;var w_h = window.screen.width + " x " + window.screen.height; fhs.src = "//s1.freehostedscripts.net/ocounter.php?site="+fhs_id+"&e1=&e2=&r="+ref+"&wh="+w_h+"&a=1&pn="+pn+""; document.head.appendChild(fhs);document.write("");

[ftniamh]

headcanon // after exams

niamh had never known a detail about either of her birthparents and she wasn’t allowed to find out until she was 18 --- muggle laws. she knew one of them had to be a muggle, she did have a birth certificate, a muggle one which had somehow magically appeared with her at the wizarding hospital. however unknown to most it had been her father that had dropped her there, the girl’s mother dying soon after the small redhead was born. the man had wanted nothing to do with the pregnancy though towards the end he had a change of heart and had come back, only to hear the news. her mother, a muggle, had left the girl in care of an orphanage. something soon rectified and she was ‘taken care of’ and the wizard never heard about his daughter ever again, he came from an esteemed pureblood family in america and couldn’t have the girl taint that. the man remarried and had three sons. yet, the memory of the small child he had held so very young and for such a short time never left him and one day he broke, and the man did everything he could, he just needed to talk to the girl. the news of this would reach the redhead on the last day of her exams, and as soon as they were over she would pack up her things, her results would be mailed anyway. this had been something, a part of her she had wanted to find out ever since she could fathom how she came to be. though admittedly she was a little scared. and angry. this man had been one who had abandoned her. not wanting to do it alone, she asked one of her closest long-time friends izaak to come. he too had experienced loss and perhaps he would be one of the best people to come on the trip with her, he was not only someone she trusted and cared about, but someone who she knew would understand how hard it might be. so the pair of them set off for america, after the girl said her goodbyes, where they were to meet someone she had wanted to know her whole life.

@hxxmes 

[ftniamh]

Hey guys! I didn’t know if this day would come, but I’d like to let you know that I’ll be leaving this rp for my own personal reasons and a lack of muse. I am posting a headcanon here so she doesn’t seem so random leaving out of nowhere. But I just wanted to let you know that if you ever want to contact me, flick me a message and I’ll link you to my 1x1 account. I was gonna post this in the ooc before the post was made, but I’ve been removed so I figure I’ll just post it here instead because I didn’t want to leave without warning y’all

I’ll miss you and this time here has been great and I want to thank you all for great memories :*

[ftniamh]

isabella.

bella crossed her arms over her chest, almost as if she was protecting herself. she knew she’d been shitty to a lot of her friends, but with a lot of her older friends graduating, she was trying to make the most of her time with them. “oh, uh, if you’re sure.” she didn’t want to be even more of a burden on her friend, but she also wanted to talk. “we just haven’t talked and I feel shitty about it.” she admitted quietly.

perhaps niamh would’ve been more courteous to the brunette if she thought she had any good reason for dropping their friendship --- because that’s what it felt like she’d done. for someone she’d known since a child and perhaps even considered to be one of her best friends as a child it had hurt, though clearly the feeling hadn’t been mutual or she would’ve put in more of an effort. there would always be someone else when it came to bella. she simply replied to the girl with a shrug. not slowing her pace as they continued to walk. “good.” she found herself saying, “you should feel shitty.” ever since everything that happened the girl had lost any formalities she had once possessed. niamh had always been blunt, but she had been more blunt than usual lately. the witch was simply tiring of others feeling like they can drag others along with them and use them when convenient. that wasn’t how relationships OR friendships functioned. “you've been treating me like a second rate friend. it’s not like i haven’t been around, we literally share the same classes isabella. and you ALWAYS seem to find time for james and everyone else. i know they’re seventh years but it’s not like they’re dropping off the face of the earth next year. and you have ALL SUMMER with them. nor was i was expecting you to be with me twenty four seven --- a simple ‘how are you’ once in a while would’ve been nice.” she huffed slightly, though now that she had started, she didn’t plan on stopping until it was all out. the redhead saw no practicality in beating around the bush. “do you know how shitty it feels to be deemed as second best? especially with someone you’ve known for so long? because it feels REALLY shitty to know you’re not as important to them as all of their other friends who they seem to make plenty of time for. ---and i know dominique feels the same way. if you think a school project you had with her nearly a month ago warrants decent friend time then you’re really mistaken.” blue eyes shot her a piercing expression. before flicking back to the direction where she was walking, “i maybe understood it when you were with marcus, considering how ‘in love’ i thought you were. but you got over that fast enough to get with izaak, and you seemed to make time for him, who is another one of my guy friends by the way and STILL not have time for me --- or other friends like dominique, which is the cherry on the cake. especially when marcus had been close to dominique and i’m close with izaak. i know i haven’t exactly been all laughter and smiles since what happened with teddy. but i did find a dead body, if you thought i was going to be exactly the same then you’re wrong. not that it should matter either way considering true friends are supposed to make time and be by you no matter what. friends aren’t people you prioritize. we’re not shoes that you can wear whenever you feel like wearing them. we have feelings. and people don’t deserve to be treated that way. especially if you want them to remain friends with you. i would’ve thought that i wouldn’t need to remind YOU of all people that.”

[ftniamh]

tristan.

“i’m not talking to her, i’m not getting near her. i didn’t need you to fucking punch me in the face to know not to do that.” tristan growled. he already felt like shit. he didn’t need paige’s friends to remind him of it. “also, who says i got away with it, huh? last time i checked, she dumped me. everyone is giving me shit for what i did. don’t act like i’m not getting through this all happy and shit.” people needed to mind their own business. this shouldn’t have been more than just something he, paige, and eloise had to deal with. but nope, this was everyone’s problem apparently. “i’m sorry? so you’re mad that i was friends with her? last time i checked, she and i have been some sort of acquaintance since we could barely walk. it’s sort of a pureblood thing, you know? and i fucked up, i lost the girl i started to love, she told me our relationship was nothing. my actions aside, that hurt hearing that something i put myself into completely was nothing to her.” 

“well maybe you needed a punch in the face as a reminder to pull your head out of your ass. i don’t mind dishing out another if the lesson didn’t sink in.” perhaps some would resort to magic, but niamh had always been a physical person, she needed something - someone - to take the anger out on. his comment only made her scoff, “and what? you want everyone to feel sorry for you because life didn’t work out the way you wanted it? that’s tough shit flint --- i never said you were ecstatic, but considering it’s YOUR fault, you don’t really have much to complain about. and i was never happier than to hear about paige dumping you. if you really expected anybody with an OUNCE of self respect to stay with you and let you drag them along into a web of cheating because ‘you couldn’t help yourself’’ then you’re foolishly mistaken. paige shouldn’t have to deal with your shit and i’m bloody glad she never has to anymore.” no matter what he would say, niamh would most likely roll her eyes ( which she did ) but it definitely helped that it was all garbage. “i hate to break it to you but purebloods aren’t the only people who have been friends since birth and no, i’m not mad at you for being friends with her. or ex-friends as i should probably put it now. i’m mad that a friendship that i worked HARD for overtime and had to build up trust and a proper relationship is with the same girl you completely disregarded for a fuck because you took her for granted. --- and BULLSHIT you loved her. i hate to break it to you, but love doesn’t work that way. perhaps you need a lesson on it to realise if you had ever truly cared about paige at all then perhaps getting yourself off wouldn’t have been such a high priority.” the redhead simply let out another snort, skin crawling as the boy tried to defend himself. “the only person you put yourself completely into was eloise, so don’t even TRY to tell me i should feel sorry for your poor hurt feelings. you have nobody to blame but your own self and i’m glad that paige’s relationship with you meant nothing because i couldn’t think of a bigger waste of time than her caring enough to get upset over someone like you.”

[ftniamh]

isabella.

She’d spotted Niamh from across the courtyard and part of her wanted to turn around and just head back to her dorm to continue studying. People were questioning their friendship, she honestly didn’t know what had happened this year, but she missed the girl. She took a deep breath, put her smile on, and walked over. “Hey. You think I can pull you from studying for a bit? Maybe just go for a walk or down to the pitch?”

@ftniamh

if niamh could’ve expected anybody to come up and say hello, isabella wouldn’t have been that person. perhaps it was because she had found herself becoming slightly more bitter lately --- within fair reason --- but she hadn’t spoken with the girl in months, and had felt their “friendship” slipping away. so, the statement from the brunette startled her slightly, though it hadn’t been surprising enough to shake a cold reply. she shrugged her shoulders “i wasn’t studying. i don’t study. i read through my notes the night before and hope for the best.” she muttered. “but i AM busy,” a lie, “so i couldn’t manage anything more than five minutes.”

[ftniamh]

tristan.

as he heard niamh’s voice, tristan just didn’t move. he could imagine what the hell was about to come his way. the punch caused him bring a hand up to his face, but that was about it. it stung, but the pain was numbed by everything else. nothing mattered now, he wasn’t about to fight back, so why bother? “are you done or you want to hit me again?” his voice was completely flat. he knew he’d have a black eye by the end of the day, but who cared? 

it was somewhat satisfying to see the boy bring his hand up to where her fist had hit him, she would’ve liked a better reaction however, maybe a kick to the balls would be good measure. “well if you’ve learnt your lesson that you’re not going to treat my friends like shit and get away with it --- then yes.” the redhead snarled, blue eyes cold as they pierced into his flat expression. she was SICK of the boys, silly, stupid, BOYS at the school treating the girls for granted and then guilt tripping everyone into feeling sorry for them when it was their own fucking fault in the first place. it was disgusting and she had a personal vendetta to punch each and every one of them if she could. “do you know how long it took me to become paige’s friend? a long time flint.” she spat out his name like a bad word. “and for you, someone who got it with little work to throw it away? over sex? AND then have the audacity to sit here feeling sorry for yourself when it was your own actions that got you here? despicable.”

[sophieturnersource]

Sophie Turner out in in Miami, Florida on December 30, 2016

[ftniamh]

tristan.

“Leave me the fuck alone.”

“and why the fuck do you think i would listen to you?” niamh snarled. ever since she had talked to paige, niamh has been on a mission to find the boy and it just so happened he had been by the lake when she spotted him from her run. the redhead wasted NO time in balling up her fist and putting as much force behind it as she could, aiming right towards his face. nobody hurt her friend and got away with it. “THAT was for paige.” she snapped, fist clenching as her knuckles stung slightly from the impact with his skull. she had considered giving him a nice swift kick to the balls --- it probably would have been more painful, but she wanted everybody to SEE before he but some potion on it. besides, it’s not like her punch was weak, she was a beater and had only grown stronger with her boxing practice with caleb.

[ftniamh]

paige.

paige had been doing a lot of thinking as of late–about her role as a daughter, a pureblood, and a woman. when it came to revealing how she felt to someone, the first person to come to mind had been niamh; the redhead always seemed so confident in who she was, something that paige both admired and yearned for in her own life. she started to fret and wrung her hands nervously, explaining. “i am. niamh, my entire life…i have worked so hard to make my parents happy, to be the daughter that the lennox family deserves, but for what? my father instills an idea of family being important, but he’s cheated on my mother throughout their life. they were set up around my age, you know. just like tristan and i were. i thought–i thought that i was okay, like this. living out this role and making everyone happy, but i’ve just…i’ve been lied to.” she said, feeling like she was speaking freely for the first time in her life. she looked at her friend, a lump in her throat. “tristan slept with some fifth year. an eighth veela who he’s known for a long time, apparently. …i ended the relationship. i’m tired of being a stepping stone for other people to get what they really want at the expense of my life. i’ve never–merlin, niamh, i’ve never been allowed to live because it would cause too much trouble.”

niamh was always someone confident, she took great pride in herself and who she was --- but that’s how she was raised. both of her parents were proud people and taking pride in your actions and who you were was a big part of how they wanted to raise their daughter. what was the point of doing something that you wouldn’t be proud of? that you couldn’t do with confiedence in your character and who you were? but she understood it wasn’t like that for everyone and from what she’d gathered about paige, she was in the palm of her parents’ hand. “well you don’t have to be. there’s a difference --- why would you try to do something that isn’t making you happy? there are worse things than your parents not being happy, especially if they’re as demanding as they sound. you deserve better.” eyes narrowed slightly at the mention of tristan. as well as having confidence in herself, the girl was FIERCELY loyal to her friends and though some would say she could act a little... rash, it was always from a place of love. “he did WHAT?” she muttered, voice low as her jaw clenched, “piece of shit.” she muttered under her breath, not wanting to get too worked up in front of paige --- she had asked over here to talk, not for niamh to get angry about a boy... she could save that for another time. “well good for you!” the redhead exclaimed with a small nod of her head, “there’s nothing wrong for standing up for yourself --- ESPECIALLY to garbage like him.” her voice quietened once more, “i’ve never seen anything wrong with a little trouble. the first person you should be looking out for is you. not your parents, not anybody else and if you’re not doing that then you should start. if your parents don’t want you to be happy doing what you WANT, then they’re not worth trying to make happy.”

[cm-daily]

[dcminiqve-blog]

@ftniamh

[ftniamh]

izaak.

izaak nodded, focusing on the tiles of the floor ahead of them as they walked together. niamh was one of his dearest friends, and he trusted everything that she had to say. “no, no, don’t worry. i get what you’re saying and it makes total sense. honestly, i hope that i don’t get hurt either. and i don’t want to do any hurting.” he explained, looking at the redhead’s profile. so many of the people who he loved were used to people leaving–himself, included. it seemed to bring them all together, in some ways. everyone was so used to others walking out on them that they clung to each other harder. he frowned a little bit when niamh said that she and bella hadn’t hung out in a while. she sounded defensive, and izaak took that as a sign that she was probably hurting. most people acted negatively as a way to process their pain, he had found–he wasn’t immune to it, either. “you know i’m not going to leave you, right? and if anything kept me from being friends with you, i’d find a way around it. or through it, if necessary.” 

the witch offered him a sweet smile, glad the boy could at least understand where she was coming from, perhaps her worry had a little jealousy mixed in with it, but she was well meaning. an elbow gently bumped the boy as she walked, “please --- you couldn’t hurt someone if you tried. and if you did it’s probably because they deserved it.” she didn’t know WHY she was so worried about it, she would usually be happy that two of her friends were together and subject them to a large amount of teasing, but considering how close it was to bella’s break up, which she hadn’t talked to the girl about  - but they hadn’t talked about anything but quidditch in ages - it still seemed, too soon. and maybe she was a little jealous, izaak was supposed to be her friend and now someone who was supposed to care about her too was trying to steal him away, or at least that’s what it felt like. especially coming from someone who was her supposed ‘childhood friend.’ his words helped though, a small chuckle passing her lips “--- good. and i assure you that i’m not going to be someone who lets you leave easily either.”

[ftniamh]

paige.

paige had been pacing around the room, thinking. it was a dangerous thing to do, she realized, as her entire upbringing seemed to discourage it. wringing her hands afterward, she scrawled a note to niamh, the only person who seemed to be appropriate to contact for the occasion. the brunette was having an identity crisis of sorts, and niamh always seemed so positively…niamh, that she might be able to give her insight about the situation. everything was starting to dissolve around her, which was as frightening as it was enlightening. for the first time, paige was starting to see what should have been obvious from the start:  she was the product of a society that didn’t want her to have an identity. she looked up when niamh came in, icy blue eyes meeting dark brown ones. “i think that…everything i know may be a lie.” she said simply, walking past niamh as the girl sat on her bed to lock the door. it really wasn’t that secretive, but it made paige feel better. “my, um…niamh, i have been an object for other people to handle for my entire life. i keep deluding myself into thinking that it’s out of love, but…i am a bargaining chip.”

when niamh had received the note, she had expected that paige had just wanted a late night chat, or perhaps was feeling a little lost, exams were JUST around the corner and niamh was more than happy to share that stress with the girl. or maybe she needed cheering up --- that’s usually what people wanted when they summoned the redhead, she was the cherry, lively type and was good to make you feel better when one was a little down. however, it had DEFINITELY not crossed niamh’s mind that paige’s issue would ever come close to the words that fell from her lips. she wet her lips as a sweet expression changed to one of worry, arched brows pressing close together as she looked up from the witch’s bed as she walked to lock the door, “... what do you everything is a lie?” it wasn’t exactly the smallest statement somebody could could make but it wasn’t a joking one, nor did the expression on paige’s face make it look anything less than serious. “you’re not a bargaining chip.” she said quietly. though she didn’t know if it was true. niamh had never grown up around the influence of elitist purebloods and with this arranged marriage and dating, she could see why paige might think that. but the LAST thing niamh wanted was her friend to think that. 

[qinaliel]

[ftniamh]

qinaliel:

Sophie Turner partnering with MGI Entertainment for a new product line. x

[pessimisitic]

[passionetwings]

[pessimisticandrealistic]

“you have to stop doing that.” “stop doing what?” “stop sacrificing yourself for people who don’t even care for you and stop trying your hardest for people who don’t try for you at all.”

e.s. // if only it were that easy. (via pessimisticandrealistic)

[i-am-my-own-drugs-deactivated20]