Being the only guy who works in a beauty store is fucking hilarious sometimes. Im the only one who can sell our shitty beard shampoo and a not insignificant amount of our customers think im untrustworthy. According to my coworkers i use every mens product we have so they can get dudes to buy a shaving cream. Trying to explain to people that theres no difference between "men's" and "women's" products is like talking to a brick wall. Ive had multiple women get angry with me for sampling them out one of our "men's" moisturizers when they specifically said they wanted a mattifying one to control oil and that's the best one we have for those two things. I still think about the guy who came in asking if we had "masks for men." I contemplate ending it all every time someone returns a completely unused product that they absolutely refuse to try just because it either says or doesnt say "for men" on it. 90% of the time its the perfect product for them. I had a lady who was willing to buy a worse product for her needs that was more expensive just so it wouldnt say it was for men. Are you ever tired? Are you ever exhausted? These are the same kinds of people who say that im the one whos obsessed with gendering everything because im trans.
like I know they would be horrible for eachother, but I'm curious abt what would start the relationship in the first place?
Word vomit under the cut
TW: slightly suggestive, domestic violence, general Tally shit
I like to think that they became fwb after years of repression- Both hated themselves for their attraction to the other, and both of them took it out on eachother- because Duh. Tim was always angry, and Dallas was Dallas so.
it wasn't 'love', not at first, but more of this "I need something to make me feel less like a fucking disgrace, so let me drag you down with me"
I think Dally made it clear that Tim would always just be a substitute for Johnny- but as much as Tim tried to pretend he didn't love Dally, he did, and knowing he'd always be a replacement never stopped hurting him
I think, at least for a while, it worked. Him and Dally were just using eachother to get out their libido and self hatred regarding their sexualities.
I think Dally was more mentally abusive than physically abusive, taunting Tim in hopes to get him riled up enough for a fight, calling him slurs and degrading Tim for being attracted to him- eventually, Tim would snap and hit him, leading to a physical fight.
Of course, it never excused the lengths Tim would go to hurt Dallas physically, no amount of taunting could excuse some of the scars.
I don't think Tim ever blamed Johnny, he tried to hate him, but part of him understood why Dally preferred him. Part of Tim preferred him, as well. Still, it stung when he saw Dallas' ring on a necklace around Johnny's neck
I have a HC that Tim visited johnny before he died, I can't say exactly when bc frankly I don't know how it would fit into the timeline, but still. He respected Johnny, so he visited.
They talked, and Tim found that, for once, he wasn't tense, he was genuinely calm and at peace sitting beside this dying boy.
I think Johnny knew how Tim felt for Dally, and before he left, gave Tim the ring-necklace, saying he wished things could've been different, and that they'll meet again if there's an afterlife. And, for just a moment, Tim might've fallen a little in love.
That's my general idea, anyways.
I also have an adjacent HC where Tim fucking steals the necklace off Johnny's corpse but that's an actually thought out drabble for another time bc that would have to be written with a level of horror I'm not mentally capable of writing rn
how old do y'all think Tim was when he had to start raising Curly and Angela? What do y'all think that was like for him??
Because throughout the entire book, Tim is a very serious, cold dude,, but like. Cmon. You know that man has a soft spot for his little siblings and I'll die by that.
--- lazy writing & art under the cut ---
When Angela was born, Tim Shepard realized that he could die. When his mother was found dead, he realized that he will
Not in the sense of realizing ones own mortality, no, Tim had come to terms with that years ago. No, this was entirely different.
Before, it had been a passing thought, Curly, their mother's pride and joy, was growing into a fine young boy, even though he was only 7, his little hands seemed built to carry a blade. So, when Tim thought of death, he knew he had no reason to fear it. Curly could at the very least take care of himself. Their mother wouldn't be there to do it, anyways.
Then, she was born. A spitting image of their mother, save for the jet black hair in place of the dark brown that the brothers had inherited. The one trait she got from a man who none of the Shepard's would ever know.
A baby sister.
As she grew, Tim had never felt such a violent mix of love and rage.
Rage. Not at the child, no, he took one look at her and realized he could never be angry with her, but with himself. Before now, he lived his life while being so prepared for it to end- but she changed all of that. She didn't have Curly's affinity for violence, kindness and an innocence that could only ever be seen in those with a silver spoon, rich enough to pay away life's struggles. The Shepard's couldn't provide her that, a rusty spoon sat where silver should, infecting the girl with tetanus before she even realized she was poisoned from the start.
Finding his mother's corpse when Angela was 3 years old felt like proof of that infection.
It was no surprise, hookers get killed, it's what happens in Tulsa. Tim felt a shocking amount of hollowness as he stared at the mutilated body of the woman. He knew he should feel sad, grief-stricken, anything, but he just felt inconvenienced. He'd have to work extra hard to keep his siblings safe and in school. He'd have to drop out himself, probably. No loss on his part, he'd basically been expelled anyways. Seniors drop out all the time, who really cares?
It wasn't until her funeral that he felt something. Holding Angela next to a closed casket, while Curly clung to it like an infant, crying for his mother. Angela staring at it, not fully understanding, but beginning to cry because she knew something was wrong.
Anger. That's all he felt. Anger towards his mother, for not being more careful when she knew how much they needed her, anger towards himself for not protecting her. Mostly, though, it was because he knew he was going to share her same fate. Dead on a street to be found by someone who loved him. The only difference will be that he knows this ahead of time, he can prepare.
So, weeks later, while holding a sleeping Angela with one arm, and half-hugging a sobbing Curly with the other, Tim made a promise over his mother's grave.
"I'll see you again one day, but before I do, I'll make sure they'll be okay."
IMAGE ID pencil on lined paper depicting a young, teary eyed Tim Shepard holding a sleeping, infant Angela Shepard. Text to the left that reads "When I'm gone, You'll be okay." ID END
Sometimes I check this account and see some silly ass shit like getting mad at someone for being like "hey let's not sexualize children" and i am reminded as to why I'm not active.
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