Eldritch Fucker

New Tumblr user, 19

[aesungaia]

Everyone's Friend

[arturia-giallo]

グレースさん！ by 四海紫郎 [Twitter/X] ※Illustration shared with permission from the artist. If you like this artwork please support the artist by visiting the source.

[bella-of-the-stars]

hell yeah sister

[transgang-deactivated20201105]

you know even if a homeless person or a starving person is in that position because of their own "bad decisions" i don't care. it doesn't matter. no supposed financial misstep is enough to condemn someone to homelessness or poverty.

[sapphoandvanzetti]

Search and rescue teams do not ask if a hiker was properly equipped and prepared before they go out to look for them. EMTs do not ask if a driver checked their mirrors before they take them to the hospital. Lifeguards do not ask if a swimmer made a mistake by going into a riptide before they dive in after them. Judgement doesn't help anyone, including you, the person doing the judging. Just help people. Just shut the fuck up and help people.

[valtsv]

can't stop thinking about how hysterical project hail mary would be from rocky's pov when you consider that, by eridian standards, basic human functioning is simultaneously an incredibly hostile and violently perverted body horror fetish nightmare. imagine you make first contact with an alien and it's an apex predator with an obscene number of orifices, made up mostly of toxic substances that it oozes constantly from said orifices, thrives in an unforgivingly cold and suffocating atmosphere, is highly motivated by searching for its next meal + consumes its food publicly in violation of your society's main taboo, and is capable of rapidly transitioning from vulnerable in sleep to alert and in full possession of its faculties at the slightest change in stimuli. grace is in a heartwarming scifi buddy comedy and meanwhile rocky is bonded with and planning on bringing home his species' equivalent of the xenomorph.

[valtsv]

POV you're welcoming home your planet's heroic saviours

[flickering-leaves]

Father just asked me, in response to me picking up our dog; “do you think, if aliens made humans their pets, do you think we’d enjoy being picked up by them” and I had to pretend like I haven’t been on the internet as much as I have

[pathetic-floretic]

What people think BDSM is like:

Dom: lets try this new kink called i will shoot you with a gun. Here we go

Sub: what

What BDSM is actually like

Sub: lets try this new kink called you will shoot me with a gun. Here we go

Dom: what

Sub: please

[hdg-shitposts]

unethical aftini life-hacks

part 2

If your floret denies that she's a cute little flower, you can give her a flower name. If that floret protests, you can just replace all the instances of her deadname in her memory with the new name.

[sleepdeprivedmint]

Captured Hound: “You’ll never get me to talk… I’m loyal to my handler!”

Interrogator: Squeaks a dog toy

Captured Hound, visibly drooling: “Y-You bastards-“

[comandoll]

rebel: “I like to fight against handlers and the corrupt system”

brainwashed hound: “houndbait”

every damn time

[dykefuckerdog-deactivated202511]

lesbian sex that leaves you looking like you got mauled by a dog

[auris-veil]

oh she reblogged it four times

me core

[callsign-kshatryia]

Oopsies~

Hit one of my hounds too hard and accidentally disabled it's rage chip. Anyone know a quick fix before it's next mission?

Well... maybe not too quick, I quite enjoy it being so docile~

[jellorobin]

(high ranking general walks into Handler's office)

+Good morning, my so- my daughter wants to join the "Hound Corps"

-uhm sir, do you know what we do with these girls?

+*Sigh* yeah, I know

(Camera cuts to a very excited boymoder wearing an ill fitting muzzle waiting outside)

[sleepdeprivedmint]

"C-Combat stims- need- stims-"

"Hound, please stop calling coffee combat stims."

"Need it- please-"

"You've had 5 cups."

Whining like a puppy

"It's 9am."

[zoerrr]

Girl who jacks into ur neural port while u make out

[sleepdeprivedmint]

PA Jingle: "Attention all personnel, Minecraft is hereby banned, for safety concerns. Last night a hound made leather boots, and got so horny it passed out. We do not want this weaponised against us."

[sleepdeprivedmint]

Yeah, the ace pilot who goes mute during missions thing is kinda hot, but you know what's hotter? Making said mute pilot moan their head off after the mission.