FUCKING...BILL?

I SACRIFICED MY DIVINE POWER TO SAVE MY PEOPLE FROM THE SUN.

[fuckyeahbillith]

its its over ....

MAKE PEACE, MY CHILD, FOR LILITH AND I ARE REUNITED ONCE MORE.

PRAISE BILLITH.

[fuckyeahbillith]

ALMIGHTY BILL, YOU HAVE HEMP - V

NO, IF I HAD HEMP V I'D BE BLAZED. ALL I HAVE IS HEP-V WHICH MEANS I'M GONNA TURN INTO A PUDDLE.

I DON'T THINK I'LL RISE UP AGAIN THIS TIME, THOUGH. ME AND LILITH DIDN'T PART ON THE BEST TERMS LAST TIME. SHE FEELS LIKE SHE DOESN'T OWE ME ANY FAVORS, EVEN THOUGH I SAVED LIKE A SHITLOAD OF HER KIDS.

PRAISE BILLITH.

[fuckyeahbillith]

Can we still praise you?

I....I don't know.

I honestly don't know.

Shit, no caps lock?

It's gone.

I think I'm just fucking Bill now.

FUCK.

[fuckyeahbillith]

FUCK

[fuckyeahbillith]

Eric had a head start and someone to guide him through vamp camp way before you and still you got to the white room first, saving those who were in imminent danger. I knew it was the right decision to praise you!

OF COURSE IT WAS, MY CHILD. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO ME IS THE SAFETY OF MY KIND, I CANNOT SAY THE SAME APPLIES TO MR. NORTHMAN. HIS RELEASING OF THE VAMPIRES IN THE CAMP IS TO GO NEITHER UNNOTICED NOR UNAPPRECIATED.

BUT YES, OVERALL,

PRAISE BILLITH.

[fuckyeahbillith]

I'm glad you proved all the haters wrong!

JUST LIKE I ALWAYS WOULD. THANK YOU, MY CHILD.

PRAISE BILLITH.

[fuckyeahbillith]

BILLITH I DEMAND THAT YOU GIVE MORE TARA SCENES NEXT EPISODE

I'M NOT DIRECTING THAT EPISODE.

PRAISE BILLITH.

[fuckyeahbillith]

PRAISE BILLITH.

[fuckyeahbillith]

How come you can daywalk with warlow's blood, but lillith burned in the sun?

WE DIDN’T DRINK WARLOW’S BLOOD AFTER WE TRANSFORMED HIM INTO HIS HYBRID STATE. THE FAERIE-VAMPIRE MIX IS WHAT ALLOWS US TO SUNWALK INDEFINITELY. FAERIE BLOOD ALONE ONLY GRANTS VAMPIRES TEMPORARY IMMUNITY TO UV LIGHT.

PRAISE BILLITH.

[fuckyeahbillith]

why won't you die...?

BECAUSE I'M FUCKING BILLITH, BITCH.

PRAISE ME.

[fuckyeahbillith]

The vapid pretty boy vamps of "Twilight" and "The Vampire Diaries" are a blight upon your people's reputation. When will you transcend the space-time continuum and traverse the Multiverse to eradicate those heretical blights on vampiredom?

I HAVE FAR MORE IMPORTANT MATTERS TO ATTEND, ESPECIALLY IN REGARDS TO THOSE OUTSIDE OF MY DIMENSION.

PRAISE BILLITH

[fuckyeahbillith]

when will get Sookie back again? I know she misses you

SOOKIE IS NECESSARY FOR THE SALVATION OF MY PEOPLE, AND NOTHING MORE.

PRAISE BILLITH

[fuckyeahbillith]

Holy One: have you noted that your bare ass is a little saggy compared to Northman and Alcide? How can you maintain your status as a god if youre outmooned by those two?

I WHOLEHEARTEDLY ENCOURAGE YOU TO CONSULT AN OPTOMETRIST. MY ASS IS IMPECCABLE. SOOKIE COULD BREAK A PLATE ON IT.

PRAISE BILLITH.

[iwannadoabadthingtoyou-blog]

[fuckyeahbillith]

Dearest Billith, I would be fuckin pissed if someone just died and gushed full of blood on my guest bed. Whose going to clean that shit up??! Serious lack of manners...

CONSUELLA OR DOUCHEBAG NEPHEW WILL BE AROUND SOON ENOUGH. NO WORRIES.

PRAISE BILLITH.

[fuckyeahbillith]

You could've tried a bit harder than that, Billith! Eric said he would give you anything, you could've totally had his whole DVD collection and maybe shares in his windy shit hole on Oland. You seem to be doing a lot of standing about not doing much, recently. Just what have you been doing? What have you been getting up to during the day? Spreading the divine word of Billith? Or just shopping for new slacks?

ERIC HAS PRECIOUS LITTLE TO OFFER ME. IT IS HE WHO BELIEVES IN ME, NOT THE CONVERSE. WORRY NOT ABOUT THE SPECIFIC MACHINATIONS OF MY DAYS AND NIGHTS. EVERYTHING I DO IS IN MOTION TOWARD THE SALVATION OF MY PEOPLE. IT WOULD BEHOOVE YOU TO QUESTION ME NO FURTHER.

PRAISE BILLITH.

[fuckyeahbillith]

How was walking in the sun?

GLORIOUS. YOU SEE, BLOOD HAS A CERTAIN LUSTER IN DAYTIME THAT NO ARTIFICIAL LIGHT CAN EVER RECREATE.

PRAISE BILLITH.