This is for the classy bitches that rock out on skates and kick some serious ass and is run by Tankgrrrl.
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Ok, so can we talk about what happens when the floor that youâre skating on doesnât get cleaned (and also happens to be a popular bar and restaurant)?
I am a London based artist looking for a roller girl to star in music video. Would be cool to see if you know any one in particular who may be up for it!
If youâve been wondering where my derby comics went: Iâve been on a âbreakâ (aka âshit I got no time for nothin!!â) since July and only very recently got back on track. Itâs not like I have any more time now but life without derby just isnât feasible I guess?
So hereâs a very useful X-mas advice comic for the derby people among you. Or do you already have a gift for your derby wife/person of choice?
Some people rise to the challenge, other people are paralysed by fear.
Ok maybe itâs not that bad but some people just think âYeah, I can jamâ and others are a big fat NOPE!
What makes the Can Do people think they can and the NOPEâs think the opposite?
Here are some handy tips:
Jamming is SIMPLE!
Jamming is actually pretty simple â I said simple, not easy, thereâs a big difference! â a jammer has one job; escape the pack, score the points. Or, if they donât get out first; escape the pack, force a call off.
There are myriad ways to do this of course, but in essence, a jammerâs job is simple.
Compare this to a blocker â they have 3 other people to think about, their own jammer, the other jammer, the oppositionâs offence, whoâs leaving the track for a penalty, whereâs the pack, we need to bridge now, formations formations formations, offence defence offence defence!! Confusing much?
So next time you get handed the star, remember â jamming is simple.
Donât âhitâ, go through.
Never ever think about hitting the wall, always think about going through. Think about the space in front, the space you want to occupy.
If you thinking about hitting the wall, you will do just that â hit a wall. What happens when you hit a wall in real life? The wall wins.
Looking at that giant, solid wall and thinking, âShit, I have to hit that really hard!â youâre intimidated, scared and already in a negative mindset.
If however, all you look for is the gaps and the space in front (positive mindset), you will magically emerge through the wall unscathed (DISCLAIMER: Possibly inaccurate). It is scientific fact that nothing in this world is actually touching; there are always gaps. Look for the gaps and make them bigger!
Jam A LOT
You donât get good at things that you donât practice.
Jamming is often hard, itâs rarely a skate in the park.
You need to increase your endurance â both mental and physical â and figure out what techniques work for you body type. You need to see the track from a jammerâs perspective. You need to increase your speed and practice your fancy footwork.
But you canât do any of that unless you bloody well jam!
Any time the star is being waved around in a whoâs-next fashion, take it enthusiastically and jam your heart out!
Jamming is a team sport
It might feel like youâre Captain Solo when you jam, like it all rests on your shoulders to get out and score points. Like if you donât get out, youâve let the entire team down. You were our only hope and you blew it!
WRONG!
Blockers â you too are responsible for scoring points. Whether you hold the opposition jammer back long enough to release your own, or you lay some epic offence on that springs your jammer free. Or if you are that trusty Pivot whoâs there ready to grab the star or fake a star stash. Or you speed the pack up to prevent the other jammer scoring. Jamming is your job too.
Jammers and blockers are a team and so should work together to make the points happen â donât judge your jammer until youâve been in her skates. Think jamming is easy, you try it! Youâll soon see that support from her blockers, in one way or another, is vital for the team.
Not all jammers work all the time
Tall jammers, skinny jammers, miniature jammers, blammers, apex jumpers, brainy jammers, spinny-jukey-slippery jammers and a multitude of other jamming styles and body shapes exist.
One is not superior to the other.
You also canât contain all of these elements in one jammer.
Some oppositions suits the slippery jammer better. Some oppositions suits the speedy jammer better. Some oppositions canât contain those hard-hitting blammers!
One game the micro-jammer canât get through to save her life. Then the next game sheâs literally skating laps around them.
If you only have one type of jammer on your team, youâre at a serious disadvantage; you need a variety of weapons in your arsenal to be a dynamic team.
So, donât be concerned that you donât jam like Slippery Fish or have a body like Thunder Thighs, make your body and jammer style work for you.
Separate Yourself
Learning how to separate your top half from your bottom will go a long way to improving your jammer career.
Faking, juking, twisting your body to slice through small holes, shoulder clubbing, mohawking around blockers and avoiding big hits all involve this upper-lower split â legs & hips working almost independently from your torso.
Sort-of counterintuitively, you need a strong core to be able to do this, as well as flexibility. And a bonus to having a strong core is, you can absorb hits or ricochet off blockers way more easily. A jammer who stays on her skates is way more useful than one thatâs on the floor!
So get to that off-skates training and yoga asap!
Jam in all directions
When you first start jamming, you tend to just push forward. And pushing is HARD YO! It takes a lot of energy.
You are so  set on getting through that you fail to see all the space and gaps around you.  If youâre wedged in the middle of the blockers, youâre missing all those tasty target zones waiting to be hit. When youâre committed to pushing forward, those blockers will LOCK YOU DOWN. And you want to die.
Take a step back. Take two steps back! Take a step to the right, another to the left. Reassess the wall. Look for the weak spots. Look for the gaps. Take a breath. Then attack!
A moving target is much harder to pin down than a stationary one! Make the blockers confused, keep them on their toes. Create weaknesses in their walls and then take advantage!
Use all the space that is available to you because a) you might find a gap b) you might make a gap or c) you give your offence chance to come and clear the wall.
Use. The. Space!
Train, train and train some more
Not sure if you know this, but jamming is hard work. You have to get fit to jam if you want to be successful.
You need strength, endurance and agility and you will improve all of these things much quicker if you do them off skates as well as on! Yes, you need the skating skills but a huge part of a jammerâs success is the work they put in off the track.
Jammers, small ones especially, have to move huge walls and take huge hits! To do this without being broken you need to get strong!
LIFT ALL THE WEIGHTS! DO THE HILL SPRINTS!!. Practice your footwork!! Practice jumping!!
Jam with your head
Not literally. Thatâs illegal and you will take a trip to the penalty box.
I mean fill your head with positive thoughts, with knowledge and strategies.
The more you know about the game, the more subtleties you can exploit. Learn what constitutes a penalty, learn the rules inside and out, learn about your teammates and what works well with who.
And make sure you approach the game with positivity â âWhether you think you can, or you think you canât â youâre right.â â Henry Ford
A negative mindset will always be proved right â you lined up thinking âIâll never get through!â and guess what, you didnât. But thats because you already decided you werenât going to get through!
Negativity means you give up, you berate yourself and feel like a failure.
Positivity takes âfailuresâ and turns them into lessons. âOk, I didnât get through that time. Why? How can I do better?â
Your brain is as powerful as those thunder thighs youâve been growing so use it and jam with your head!
Embrace the suck
Realise that at first, unless you are some freak of nature jamming robot designed to be a Bonnie Thunders-Stef Mainey-Loren Mutch hybrid, that jamming WILL SUCK.
You WILL get your ass kicked.
It can be a swift kick to the ego, sometimes a kick so big people quit. But your ego is the thing holding you back.
It might feel more acutely painful âfailingâ at jamming because youâre âon your ownâ but tell your ego to STFU.
No one ENJOYS not being good at stuff, but as the olâ internet meme states, sucking at something is the first step at being sorta good at something.
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