Bisexual Warrior-King of the Garrus Fan Club

I have a thing for Turians. J, 28. He/him. I post Garrus and other Mass Effect stuff, as well as just complain about how gay I am all the time, and veeeeeery occasional writing. Main is @tigerlilyupinthisbitch.

[fuckyeahgarrusvakarian]

Psst... Hey... If you are also of a mind that Garrus should have been written queer, or just wanna watch whatever trashfire results from this mindset... Check this shit out homie…

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[malotte00]

[dorothylarouge]

The Vermillion Hero, Ariel Shepard

[bisexualwario]

this commander is red for an amazing reason

[bronzeagelove]

Getting Used to Your Turian S/O: A Handy Guide

So… you met this charming turian at the club and a steamy romp later you have to admit to yourself you’re quite infatuated with them and want to take it further. However, your xenostudies classes never went this deeply into the matter apart from ‘don’t eat their food and mind other fluids’, and you’re at loss whether this is a good idea….

Fret not, this handy little guide will touch upon a few important points that are often conveniently glossed-over. First of all- make sure you’re ready for the commitment. They’re not human, they got a whole different way of handling everyday life and interpersonal relationships. Communication is key and goes beyond simple discussions about ‘chafing’ and ‘choosing a mixed-menu restaurant’.

Sleeping:

Some turians are nestlers and will burrow. Keep lots of cushions and blankets ready for them, or they’ll end up stealing yours, some also take forever to find a comfortable sleeping position, especially in a bed built for non-turians! It might be easiest to wait with going to sleep until they‘re dozing comfortably

Power Naps are taken crouched down with their heads tucked as far into their cowls as possible, forehead resting on the knees. Do not attempt this as a human, it’s uncomfortable

Since turians have a higher body temperature than humans and can heat up quite a bit while sleeping, it is recommended to sleep naked as to counteract excessive sweating during the night

Turians sleep in shorter bursts, so expect to wake up at 2.30am because your S/O gets up for a morning snack. …and then again at 5am

which leads us to…

Eating:

Turians have a crop and gizzard, so they will regurgitate pellets of undigested materials from time to time. Turian restaurants (and some high-end mixed-cuisine ones) have discreet compartments under the table with small bowls to spit the pellets into. Don’t be alarmed if your S/O coughs up a furball or something similar before your romantic dinner, it’s a sign of good health!

It’s possible to buy fancy gizzard stones at specialized shops so if you’re unsure on what to get them as a little present, maybe look into that?

Turians are not the most ‘elegant’ eaters. Most food is not chewed and is eaten by hand. Same goes for drinking, if you can’t handle a grown-ass turian lapping from a bowl trying to look seductive, you may have to reconsider.

Will eat small portions but more often (many turians are ‘snackers’)

Maybe do not date a turian if you’re vegan, unless you’re extremely tolerant of their predominantly meat-based cuisine. Attempts to feed turians a completely plant-based fare leads to malnourishment and is not advised!

In this vein. Carnivore farts. Don’t happen often, but if they happen, they’re BAD!

Courting and romantic behaviour:

Get ready for hour-long preening sessions. Stroking, nibbling, licking, gentle nips and bites, talons dragged over skin and through hair, you get the drill. This is considered important bonding behaviour (same as morning and evening brushing and oiling), and turians take preening very seriously. Please don’t be rude and interrupt the action after 20 minutes because you’re ‘busy’

One reason for this is that turians love to scent-mark their S/O. All that rubbing and headbumping is to get their pheromones on you, and the prolonged preening makes sure the scent stays!

Some are really into the texture of hair and find it irresistible. You might wake up at 4am because the back of your head is being licked vigorously. HELLO Alien Morning Meat Breath™!

For a small percentage, regurgitating food as a token of love and affection is a genetic compulsion, for others again, it’s a sexual kink. Communication is key here. If your S/O can’t contain it, they might start retching while you’re in the middle of a heated making-out session. Be prepared, pass them a hanky or bowl, praise them, and remember they can’t help it

Most turians love decorating ‘love nests’ for their S/Os, often in colours they associate with that person. Don’t be alarmed to come home and suddenly the whole apartment is decorated in shiny mint green or orange or similar gaudy colours (there will be lots of trinkets too). Your S/O is showing you their undying love and most likely broke the bank while at it, so show some gratitude even if you hate orange!

[milkywayes]

milky's illustrated turian headcanons #1: TURIAN ANATOMY!

thank you to everyone who expressed an interest and encouraged me to start this series! and thank you to garrus vakarian for agreeing to model. a lot of this I've already talked about in this turian anatomy hc post, but not all of it. I hope you like it!

please note that I am not a biologist or scientist of any kind. I've done my best to research and think things through, but I might not always be a hundred percent accurate, especially in my anatomical illustrations. that said, I'm really pleased with the skull shape I came up with :)

about the female turian: I reject most of the design the ME3 Omega DLC introduced as it is largely nonsensical and they clearly valued sex appeal over lore and anatomical consistency, which is a shame. this is what I go with instead! I've decided that while I think the curly plates are cute, they do make more sense as a rare family trait than as a sexually dimorphic one. the turian I show here doesn't have the trait, but others might, including males!

[mig-murgthenurg]

Mass Effect 2's statement of humans having the "greatest genetic diversity" still pisses me off.

You're telling me humans, the "less genetic diversity across the globe than chimps have in a single jungle" race are more diverse than:

The Krogan (Literally stated that their bodies are actively fighting back against the genophage and mutating to kill it off because Tuchanka genes are just cracked like that)

The Asari (Constantly blending their DNA with other races.)

The Turians (Exposed to higher levels of ambient radiation which by all rights should prompt more mutations. Also their whole Colony biz.)

You're telling me they're less diverse than us? Fuck off. The writers are, in the words of Liara's father, "anthropocentric bags of dicks."

[gammaraydeath]

sorry op for hijacking your post but i thought that asari reproduction worked like parthenogenesis - like, genetic diversity is definitely still reduced, don't get me wrong, but it's not zero either. it's like how whiptail lizards can maintain a population despite being all parthenogenetically reproducing females (the daughters can be half clones or full clones). they basically do meiosis with themselves by replicating double the amount of chromosomes for the egg cells, not swapping genes that code for different functions. and somehow the way meiosis occurs is influenced by the genetic code of the partner....

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/41510441_Sister_Chromosome_Pairing_Maintains_Heterozygosity_in_Parthenogenetic_Lizards

admittedly ive given a lot of thought to turian biology and almost none to asari biology so i may just be talking out of my ass here LOL

[n0kt3rnal]

Sooooo James glitched big time at the citadel dlc party. I invited him to hang out at the apartment and it triggered the party starting. So he got stuck dancing by the punching bag all night.

[joudama]

I mean, honestly, that seems pretty on brand for James ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[zombiemaykr]

Commission for Cabal_Pilot on Twitter/X

[hajima-7]

Happy n7 day! Shep is just taking a lil nap :D

[catsharky]

Tfw you have such a big crush on your boss you start dreaming about kissing her alien-style

Happy birthday to me and happy (belated) N7 day to everyone else!

Comic Masterpost

[chickenwn7]

HAPPY N7 DAY 2025!!!

No other best way to celebrate N7 Day than make a Shakarian Doodle since these two are my everything 💕🤌

[sashartiist]

HAPPY N7 DAY!!!

Wow, I only found out about Mass Effect little more than two years ago, but avoided it like the plague since I didn’t want any spoilers. This summer I finally played the Shepard trilogy, and fell so completely in love with everything. To then find out that the fandom is very much alive and active has been such a joy! So here is my own contribution to my first N7 day, a sketch of our love Garrus in a slutty little top, as well as some silly doodles of how I imagine turians can retract their heads like a turtle, lol

[aloboguara]

My humble sketch for N7 Day: Garrus without his visor

[felassan]

✨✨ Happy N7 Day 2025!!! ✨✨

[gregemann]

geth nite tonite

[jane-shepard]

the fact that there is an entire dlc that features shepard’s Evil Clone is funny on its own, but the entire point of the dlc being “SHEPARD IS NOTHING WITHOUT HER FRIENDS” makes it hilarious. a catastrophic identity theft scenario was foiled by the power of friendship. the gang got together and brainstormed like the beacons of comradery they are, and they decided to shoot the problem to death and get drunk afterwards. good game guys, let’s hit the showers

[luciacaminoz]

my relationship with dragon age as a series is so twisted it’s like my ex-husband i divorced in the messiest way possible but i still have feelings for him nobody knows me like he does and we have occasional passionate love affairs still but also i daydream about killing him in his sleep quite often

[luciacaminoz]

hes lying next to me in bed my hands are shaking closing around his throat i cant see through the tears