I feel like I’m a very ugly mix woman compared to all of the others on here.. I know I shouldn’t say that but it’s true.. I don’t have a beautiful face and my curly hair is absolutely horrible and I’m so jealous of these other mix women on here 😢
Speaking as a completely objective third party with absolutely no formal psychology training under my belt (Unless you could my freshman class at Uni) being multiracial or mixed can create a sense of distorted beauty perceptions.
On the one hand, society expects you to look like “human photoshop” while on the other hand, your ethnic backgrounds may have some distinct features that are synonymous with your culture and even if it doesn't, those cultures that make you who you are each have an “ideal” or specific perception of what they consider beautiful. These ideals may or may not be realistic or in line with what the majority of the population actually looks like and even further these ideals may not be something you particularly have.
To see an example of this, look at the 2014 “Make Me Beautiful” experiment by Priscilla Yuki Wilson. A friend and fellow journalist of the original experimenter, Priscilla is biracial and asked photoshop experts from around the world to “Make her beautiful”. The results were interesting to say the least!
Notice that the THREE different photos that came from the USA ALL. LOOK. DIFFERENT.
When talking about the experiment (in context to her friend’s original experiment) Wilson said:
"her face became a canvas to express more than a dozen contrasting beauty standards, I found that my face actually challenged the application of Photoshop in this instance. As a biracial woman there is no standard of beauty or mold that can easily fit my face.”
Please try to remember that beauty is completely subjective and varies from person to person and is in an ever changing state. Couple this with mainstream media shoving unrealistic standards down your throat to sell you whatever product they want at the time and it can be hard to feel genuinely beautiful.
Its easy to say “Dont let the negativity get to you” and it sounds almost cliche to throw a “Beauty is only skin deep” adage at you so instead I will say this: Everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE has felt what you are feeling at some point. Everyone has felt out of place, or unhappy with their reflection in some way shape or form whether it be a feature they dont like, their size, their hair, etc. There are SUPERMODELS who are making BANK for features that Im sure they were teased over in school whether it be dark skin, gap teeth, bigger lips or noses etc.
Instead of comparing yourself to other mixed girls and what you think you should look like... start finding the things you DO like about yourself. You say you hate your hair.... is it at its healthiest? If not, now is the time to try learning more about your specific texture or curl pattern and what products it responds well to. This might mean laying off heat, chemicals, bleach, and colors. You say you dont like your face. Are you sure that there isn't anything you like about it? Are your eyes big and bright, all the better to see the world with or are they small and slim.... better for keeping a poker face when the pressure is on? Does your nose have a noble bump or bridge or is it small and slim like a woodland sprite? NOW is the time to find these things out beauty! Because in the words of the Great Dr. Seuess:
“Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is you-er than you. Shout aloud, I am glad to be what I am. Thank goodness I'm not a ham, or a clam, or a dusty old jar of gooseberry jam. I am what I am, what a great thing to be. If I say so myself, happy everyday to me!”
Stay stupendous beautiful
janainaart
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