TV Speaks Golden

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Stranger Things cast photographed by Joe Keery

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COMMUNITY 2 in 1 post! :)

Mixology Certification - season 2, episode 10 (2010)

It's the SAME BAR?!

Troy: You two have been saying one bar is lame and the other one is awesome ALL night, and it’s the SAME BAR? I just spent the last two years thinking that you guys knew more than mae about life. And I just found out that that you guys are just as dumb as me.

Annie

Troy: You’re Annie. You like puzzles, and little monsters on your pencil, and some guy named Mark Ruffalo. You’re a fierce competitor and a sore loser. And you expect everybody to be better than who they are, and you expect yourself to be better than everyone. Which is cool.

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Gilmore Girls / Writing A Letter

Santa's Secter Stuff - season 7, episode 12 (2007)

Lorelai: My brain is a wild jungle full of scary gibberish. I'm writing a letter, I can't write a letter, why can't I write a letter? I'm wearing a green dress, I wish I was wearing my blue dress, my blue dress is at the cleaners. The Germans wore gray, you wore blue, 'Casablanca', Casablanca is such a good movie. Casablanca, the White House, Bush. Why don't I drive a hybrid car? I should really drive a hybrid car. I should really take my bicycle to work. Bicycle, unicycle, unitard. Hockey puck, rattlesnake, monkey, monkey, underpants!

Rory: "Hockey puck, rattlesnake, monkey, monkey, underpants"? Lorelai: Exactly, that's what I'm saying. It's a big bag of weird in there. So, I think I need inspiration. You know I need a muse. Perhaps I need "the muse." Maybe it would help if Sharon Stone would appear to me in an alarming caftan and coo inspirational words in my ear.

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Gilmore Girls / I Smell Snow

Women Of Questionable Morals - season 5, episode 11

Lorelai: Take a deep breath. Do it. Oh, yeah. I smell snow. It's coming. I always know. I can smell it, and I'm never wrong. It's just my favorite time of the year. The whole world changes color. Flakes, flurries, swirls, crystals, whatever form it comes in. I'll take it. We go back, snow and me. We have a beautiful history. Sleigh rides, ice skating, snowball fights. I'll even take curling. God, I love curling! Hot cocoa, hot toddies. Best time of the year!

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Yay :D 10 followers

It's cool that people appriciate your free time

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Doctor Who / Go to your room!

The Doctor Dances - season 1, episode 10 (2005)

The Doctor: Go to your room….. Go to your room… I mean it. I am very, very angry with you. I’m very, very cross! GO. TO. YOUR. ROOM!………I’m really glad that worked, those would have been terrible last words!

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Leverage / Chocolate Education

The Boiler Room Job - season 4, episode 8 (2011)

Sophie: [after tasting a chocolate] Trinidad. Sophie: Most would say Ecuador, due to the hint of Jasmine, but if one looks beyond that, one will sense the slightest layer of cinnamon, which, of course, could only mean… Trinidad. Laverne: What about the bean? Trinitario? Forastero? Sophie: Neither. This could only be the Criollo bean, unlike that thing you put in your mouth, Laverne, which I could smell from here, was an Arriba, the most overrated bean in the world, the one you called “outstanding”. Oh, and… Just under 85%. Host: Whoa, whoa, and whoa! 84%! [everyone claps] Let’s hear it for the Chocolate Whisperer, Clarissa Dubois!

This, folks, is how you con a room full of people. :)

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Leverage / Plane Safty

The Mile High Job - season 1, episode 8 (2009)

Parker: In the event of a water landing, your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device. But let’s face it, if this thing goes down in the water, more than likely, the impact will kill you. Please take a moment to locate the nearest emergency exit. Because if this plane’s on fire, you’re gonna wanna get out quick. Jet fuel burns at over a thousand degrees! That’s hot, folks.

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The Office / Bros before hoes

A Benihana Christmas - season 3, episode 10 (2006)

Michael: Bros before hos. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They have got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you are nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you, and that she was better than all the other hos in the world. And then... Then suddenly she's not your ho no mo'! 

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Modern Family / Jägermeister

Moon Landing - season 1, episode 14 (2010)

Alex: What’s Jägermeister?

Phil: You know how in a fairy tale there’s always a potion that makes a princess fall asleep and then the guys start kissing her? Well this is like that, except you don’t wake up in a castle, you wake up in a frat house with a bad reputation.

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New Girl / SHUT UP! I'm PMSing

Mensies - season 2, episode 6 (2012)  (SPOILER! fun, harmless spoiler)

Jess: Birds, I feel like they laid a million eggs and they’re all hatching! I feel like I wanna murder someone and I also I want soft pretzels Winston: You know what, I feel the same way Jess: SHUT UP!! Shut up, you, ‘cause I don’t wanna hear it! I’ve had it!! If any of you cross me Im gonna kick the testicles clean off your body, CLEAN OFF!! You’ll look like Ken dolls down there because that’s where I’m at right now!  Now which one of you guys wants to tell me to get a job?

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New Girl / You love me too much

Models - season 2, episode 5 (2012)

Nick: You love me too much, Schmidt. And you picked the wrong guy. When are you gonna get that through that giant head of yours? I’m just gonna let you down, man.

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Misfits / It's About Breaking Eggs 

Episode 6 - season 1, episode 6

Nathan: She’s got you thinking this is how you’re supposed to be. Well, it’s not! We’re young. We’re supposed to drink too much. We’re supposed to have bad attitudes and shag each other’s brains out. We are designed to party. This is it. Yeah, so a few of us will overdose or go mental. But Charles Darwin said you can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs. And that’s what it’s all about - breaking eggs! And by eggs, I do mean, getting twatted on a cocktail of Class A’s. If you could just see yourselves! It breaks my heart. You’re wearing cardigans! We had it all. We fucked up bigger and better than any generation that came before us. We were so beautiful! We’re screw-ups. I’m a screw-up and I plan to be a screw-up until my late 20s, maybe even my early 30s. And I will shag my own mother before I let her… or anyone else, take that away from me!

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Sherlock / Because I Took Your Pulse

A Scandal in Belgravia - season 2, episode 1 (2012)

Sherlock Holmes: Sentiment is a chemical defect found in the losing side. Irene Adler: Sentiment? What are you talking about? Sherlock Holmes: You Irene Adler: Oh, dear God. Look at the poor man. You don't actually think I was interested in you? Why? Because you're the great Sherlock Holmes, the clever detective in the funny hat? Sherlock Holmes: No... because I took your pulse. Elevated. Your pupils dilated. I imagine John Watson thinks love’s a mystery to me, but the chemistry is incredibly simple and very destructive. When we first met, you told me that a disguise is always a self-portrait, how true of you, the combination to your safe – your measurements. But this, this is far more intimate. This is your heart, and you should never let it rule your head. You could have chosen any random number and walked out of here today with everything you worked for. But you just couldn't resist it, could you? I've always assumed that love is a dangerous disadvantage. Thank you for the final proof. Irene Adler: Everything I said. It's not real. I was just playing the game. Sherlock Holmes: I know. And this is just losing.

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Californiacation / Letter to Becca 

Suicide Solution - season 4, episode 2 (2011)

Hank: 

To my dear beautiful daughter,    I'm writing you a letter. That's right a good old fashioned letter. It's a lost art, really. Like handjobs. Shit.I have a confession to make, I didn't like you very much at first. You were just this annoying little blob. You smelled nice, most of the time, but you didn't seem to have much interest in me, which I of course found vaguely insulting. It was just you and your mom against the world. Funny how some things never change. So I cruised along doing my thing, acting the fool, not really understanding how being a parent changes you. And I don't remember the exact moment everything changed. I just know that it did.One minute I was impenetrable. Nothing could touch me. The next, my heart was somehow beating outside my chest, exposed to the elements. Loving you has been the most profound, intense, painful experience of my life. In fact it's been almost too much to bare. As your father, I made a silent vow to protect you from the world. Never realizing I was the one who would end up hurting you the most. When I flash forward my heart breaks, mostly because I can't imagine you speaking of me with any sort of pride, how could you? Your father is a child in a man's body, he cares for nothing and everything at the same time. Noble in thought, weak in action. Something has to change, something has to give.  It's getting dark, too dark to see.

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Californiacation / Letter to Karen

In Utero - season 2, episode 10 (2008)

Hank:

Dear Karen,

If you're reading this, it means I actually worked up the courage to mail it. So, good for me. You don't know me very well, but if you get me started I have a tendency to go on and on about how hard the writing is for me. But this... this is the hardest thing I've ever had to write. There is no easy way to say this, so I'll just say it: I met someone. It was an accident, I wasn't looking for it, I wasn't on the make. It was a perfect storm. She said one thing, I said another... Next thing I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life in the middle of that conversation. Now there is this feeling in my gut; she might be the one. She is completely nuts in a way that makes me smile highly neurotic, a great deal of maintenance required. She is you, Karen... That's the good news. The bad is that I don't know how to be with you right now, and that scares the shit out of me. Because if I am not with you right now, I have this feeling we will get lost out there. It's a big bad world full of twist and turns, people have a way of blinking and missing the moment. The moment that could have changed everything... I don't know what's going on with us and I can't tell why you should waste a leap of faith on the likes of me. But damn you smell good like home and you make excellent coffee that has to count for something, right? Call me. Unfaithfully yours,  Hank Moody