whatever idea you've made up in your head about me, you're wrong . . . YOU CAN’T SAVE ME. a very private, mutually exclusive JAMES VALDEZ from queen of the south. strictly show based & with influences from my own personal headcanons.
occasionally subtle

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@fugitiv
whatever idea you've made up in your head about me, you're wrong . . . YOU CAN’T SAVE ME. a very private, mutually exclusive JAMES VALDEZ from queen of the south. strictly show based & with influences from my own personal headcanons.
my colleagues call me sir. they think… i’m a bitch. like most kids who raised themselves i can display narcissistic behavior. i can be withdrawn, disconnected… I HAVE A DEEP YEARNING TO UNDERSTAND AND RELATE TO THE CRIMINAL MIND. i am board certified in forensic psychology and yet i operate under the delusion that i can REWRITE MY PAST by having kids of my own.
So what do you think?
QUEEN OF THE SOUTH ♛ 3x05 | 5x10 I don’t deserve that. Everyone deserves that.
“you and me... it can’t happen. maybe in another life, but not this one”.
and now they’re together, happy and at peace in a new life of their own 😭
ok but petition for james to get his own spin off :’)))))))
WRITE A META ABOUT THIS N O W THANKS
im too emotional today xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
QUEEN OF THE SOUTH ♛ 5x03 | 5x09 requested by @medievalraven
I love you.
QUEEN OF THE SOUTH ♛ 2x08 | 5x07
𝖚𝖓𝖙𝖜𝖎𝖓𝖊𝖉.
when she swore to herself to avenge her twin’s death , she had not imagined this would be where she ended up . part of the cia , working along side those who were partially at fault for luke’s death . two innocent teenagers getting caught in the crossfire between low level dealers who had ties to the cartels . she zips the black leather jacket , praying it will stop the shivers that repeatedly ran up her spine the moment she stepped onto the roof . it was passed midnight and had it not been for the white clouds of cigarette smoke , she never would have seen him . his file had kept her up two nights in a row , going over everything twice . leaving her with more questions than answers . by some miracle devon finch , whom she did not trust at all , managed to bring him in . clearly the file she had been given was missing important details that were above her clearance level . arms rest against the railing , as she stops beside him to take in the sleeping city in front of them .
❝ how does an ex-military sergeant end up working for the cartels ? —- i thought men like that had sworn to protect their country … ❞ her tone is laced with bitterness , as she refuses to look at him when she asks the question . staring straight ahead . she does not expect him to answer . why would he ?
body is tensed, aware of the danger that’s surrounding him. he doesn’t feel comfortable here. trust . . . it is something dangerous. the sound of her voice echoes around, words laced with a certain bitterness that makes him WONDER what her problem is. smile finds fleshed lips, one full of lies and secrets. ‘’ i think it’s really none of your business but now that we’re talking - how does a girl like you end up working for devon finch? ‘’ dark and empty hues full of suspicion watching her, observing every little movement that she makes. she’s not fond of him, doesn’t trust him. he understands. he would’ve done the same damn thing. another step closer, admiring his view, one hand running through his thick dark locks.
‘’ he can’t be trusted, you know that, don’t you? ‘’ thoughts wander off to his past, to teresa and pote - hoping, praying that they’re safe. and that’s a wicked thing for a man like him. ‘’ is there a way out? ‘’
𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖆 𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖔𝖟𝖆.
𝑨 𝑴𝑨𝑺𝑲 𝑼𝑷𝑶𝑵 𝑮𝑶𝑫𝑫𝑬𝑺𝑺 𝑭𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑼𝑹𝑬𝑺 ( gold & filled with light ) ⸻ hiding darkness beneath. glued on the edge of the water , watching above his hands waiting to save her , unaware her digits are ebbing from his grip slowly , flowing further away into insanity of own mind. tasting the fear , smelling the torture , she feels the power , hears the whispers ( waves of worrisome words from the ones close hit her heart ) & perhaps she truly is crashing with salt upon her tongue & no one there to catch her. ❛ do you know 𝖆 𝖘𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖑𝖊 𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖔𝖓 in this business that’s actually , truly happy ? ❜
queen of transporting the questions into another question ( inner peace was killed a long time ago & ˢʰᵉ ᶜᵃᶰ’ᵗ ᵍᵒ ᵇᵃᶜᵏ ) ⸻ only pain & lessons learned. drowning , following the path to danger , probably own death but it’s an addiction wanting ᵉᵛᵉʳʸᵗʰᶤᶰᵍ & ᵐᵒʳᵉ. exhaustion of gaze follows his movements , softness of nails draw invisible lines against skin of his palm. gaze locked upwards , a master of avoiding the truth of own thinking. ❛ are you ? ❜
she speaks of nothing but the truth. there is no good or bad in this business. he told her, warned her but despite everything she decided to hold on to hope. to have little bit of faith. he admired that about her. so much that it had changed him. now, years later, he’s slowly beginning to realize she’s no longer that girl. cold, hard, distant. chest feels heavy - it’s his damn heart. sigh rolls down his tongue, a simple nod given. ‘’ someone once told me that there’s always a choice. ‘’ words escapes him, a small smile finds fleshed lips, eyes full of admiration finding hers, taking her in, observing every beautiful feature.
step is taken, his grip around her wrist tightened, guiding her closer to his chest. leave with me. we can run. see the world. just us - together. a real shot at happiness. without heartbreak, without loss, without death. HE WANTS TO TELL HER. thousands of words clouding that dark mind of his and yet . . . he remains silent. out of fear. he knows what she wants, what she’s after, it’s not him. it’s not that life. hand reaches out, running through her dark thick locks, eyes flickering back and forth between her own. ‘’ i am. ‘’ when i’m with you. head tilted, playing with a few locks. he missed this, missed her. ‘’ you’re trying to avoid me, aren’t you? to feel something, anything, is that what scares you? ‘’
𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖆 𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖔𝖟𝖆.
𝑯𝑰𝑺 𝑾𝑶𝑹𝑫𝑺 𝑬𝑪𝑯𝑶 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑵 𝑴𝑰𝑵𝑫 , lost beneath fearful thoughts applying so brave on the world outside. heart betrayed too many times has fallen into silence ( like an angel falling from the sky ) now laying on the ground covered by gravestones , 𝑢𝑛𝑛𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑑 & 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑜𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛 // 𝑒𝑚𝑝𝑡𝑦 & 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑧𝑒𝑛 falling in the arms of darkness. ice inside chambers of heart , frozen river flows through veins & yet she RISES ( ᴀɢᴀɪɴ ﹠ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ ) , holding strength in own palms. thoughts burn within brain , aching tongue screams with suspicion. ❛ we all have 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖊𝖉. in order to 𝖘𝖚𝖗𝖛𝖎𝖛𝖊 , 𝐰𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨. ❜
shining stars hidden within blackness of eyes , gaze looking back at him sparkles with fear ( regardless tears from the past are dry , there is fear for survival knitting beneath skin ). fear of the 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙 𝑎𝑛𝑠𝑤𝑒𝑟 to his words. playful tone covers ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʀᴜᴛʜ , half smile paints goddess features. ❛ have you met 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒 that work for me ? of course i’m sᴛʀᴇssᴇᴅ ﹠ ᴛɪʀᴇᴅ. ❜
we all have changed. she says - and it makes him smile just a little more because he knows she’s not the only one who has changed. so has he. he was a different person when he met her. body filled with nothing but complete chaos and violence. hands stained red - blood shed, in the middle of a damn war. he liked it there. got used to it, too. he liked the danger, the chase, the kill. but now he understands . . . it was far from right. he was lost, drowning, quite suffocating but she brought him back. made him feel again. made him realize that there was a different way, a better way, to do business.
‘’ i know . . . you had no choice. you needed to change in order to survive. i know. but does that mean you’re happy? ‘’ he asks her, as he remains awfully calm. her words makes him smile, tongue drifting out to wet his lips, giving his head a little shake. ‘’ careful, teresa. i work for you too. ‘’ moment passes by, a silence that follows, before he decides to close the distance, hand reaching out for her wrist, digits brushing against her soft and smooth skin. ‘’ are you? are you happy? ‘’