Star Struck!

Welcome to my eclectic blog. This my little ramblings about a lot of things. You'll see some of my art and bad fanfic literature around here. It's a whole variety of funny posts, interesting things, & my interests as well! Check it out! I hope you like your stay in my little cozy blog. Yes, I am an INTJ.

[jacebeleren]

environmental storytelling

[unclefather]

if i saw jeff bezos in public i would lift my titty up and smash it down on his bald head and burst it like a melon

[unclefather]

[naslostcontrol]

Mutaz Essa Barshim and Gianmarco Tamberi decided to share the title in the men’s high jump.

[niihiiil-deactivated20210913]

this . :)

[balkanica]

this is the only sports content you’ll see me posting because it’s so fucking sweet of them

[carryonmywaywardcaptain]

I went and looked up the clip just to get a better feel for what happened. I knew the ending, I knew what was coming, and I still got chills and almost cried.

THIS IS THE KIND OF WHOLESOME HUMAN CONTENT I LOVE TO SEE ON MY DASH.

[chase-your-dreams-away]

[annathesillyfriend]

this is incredible I love it I wish them all the best 🥺🥺

[wordsmithic]

IT GOT BETTER

[marimopet]

[angry-anarcho-punk]

Ah yes. The good old ‘reverse uno card’.

[colorisbyshe]

i fucking hate to make an ace discourse post in 20 fucking 20 but it really needs to be said and i KNOW this is gonna come off as a smarmy “i told you so post”

but i’ve been on twitter recently and there is a fucking DELUGE of people promoting the idea of “bisexual lesbians” (never bisexual gay men but like… that’s a tangential dialogue for another time). this idea that you can be bisexual and a lesbian at the same time is a direct product of the split attraction model.

this is the EXACT shit i was talking about when I said rhetoric from ace community is not compatible, at all, with the LGBT community.

sexualizing the -sexual suffix so “bisexual” SOLELY means “SEXUALLY attracted to the opposite gender” so someone can be bisexual and “homoromantic” is ACTIVELY harmful to lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals. it sexualizes bisexuals without consent and COMPLETELY redefines what gayness is so it can include attraction to the “opposite” gender.

and this is just one example of how ace inclusion–not just the inclusion of cisgender, straight aces but also the prioritization of ace ideals–hurts the LGBT community. the rhetoric that you can have sex with people you aren’t attracted to to “make it work” romantically is conversion therapy rhetoric. Ace inclusion makes it seem like the LGBT community is about our relationships to sex when that just isn’t true. Ace inclusion means “desexualizing” LGBT spaces so as not to upset asexuals. All this shit AND MORE is happening in real time and I’ve watched it get worse and worse, hand in hand with the commercialization of LGBT pride and the liberalization of LGBT activism.

ace rhetoric is eroding LGBT identities. the idea of the “bisexual lesbian” and other mogai microidentities where you parse every single aspect of your identity into a different label is actively harming vulnerable LGBT people.

and, no, this isn’t me saying “even LGBT aces have to go,” but this is me saying that putting ace identities at the forefront of ANY LGBT discussions leaves a lot of space for harm for LGBT people. and that any fucking ace rhetoric besides “it’s okay to not feel sexual attraction or want to have sex” comes at the expense of LGBT identity.

genuinely, the concept of “bisexual lesbian” is a direct product of the ace community and it has caused lesbians and bisexual women irreparable harm. and aces should be ashamed of this because this is what they have been defending for years.

this is the EXACT shit we said would come out of the split attraction model and now we have TEENAGERS telling strangers and adults “i’m sexually attracted to [x genders] but only romantically into [y]” and y’all think this is okay. even if it weren’t fucking INSANE to say lesbians can be attracted to men or that bisexuals can be half gay or half straight, you’d STILL be out of fuckng line having KIDS center identities around SOLELY sexual attraction.

i’m ripshit pissed

[colorisbyshe]

i am saying this with everything i have–there is NOTHING positive to come out of the ace community that couldn’t have been identically accomplished by simply saying “you don’t ever have to want sex, you don’t owe anyone sex, it’s okay to not sexually desire anyone” which is shit feminism has already been doing.

[colorisbyshe]

op saw the bi lesbian discourse     and said       is anyone gonna blame the ace community for this?  and didnt even wait for a response    god     what kind of ass backwards logic is it to blame aces for non-aces misusing our terminology       ???     like??? is it me???      am I crazy???    cause i just dont see how you can get to this point without doing some massive fucking leaps in logic     we use the sam to describe the nuances of our identities but the caveat has always been that this just applies to us aros/aces   someone else taking it and using it to justify their severe misunderstanding of the lesbian identity is not our fault

it is your fault and, no, people who push the ideas of bisexual/pansexual lesbians aren’t “misusing the SAM.” this isn’t “someone else’s” problem. this is the ace community’s problem you made the LGBT community’s problem.

the SAM redefines bisexual to mean “sexual attraction to multiple genders” leaving space for a complementary yet potentially different romantic attraction. because you have cut the bisexual identity in half when it originally (and still does) mean “romantic AND/OR sexual attraction” (meaning you could lack one of them and stil be a full bisexual), you leave room for people to mix and match identities.

so a bisexual woman who is physically attracted to all genders but has trauma with men and doesn’t actually want to date them or have emotional intimacy with them (and maybe doesn’t even really want to act on the physical attraction to them) is now “homoromantic” and half lesbian. instead of analyzing if HEY maybe she’s just a lesbian and it’s comphet. or just… y’unno… being a bi woman who doesn’t want to date men because… fuck men.

because of how YOU created the split attraction model to say bisexual isn’t a full identity anymore, that unless we say we are bisexual biromantic, we’re ONLY talking about who we want to fuck (even if we’re minors! even if we’re ace! even if we’re sex repulsed or don’t ever want to talk about sex!!!). because YOU said the bisexual community actually needs to be divided up into bisexual and biromantic  in a way that affects NO other community because gay and lesbian people have identities that don’t end in the suffix “-sexual.” YOU destroyed bisexual identity with the SAM and YOU normalized the use of homosexual (a fucking OFFENSIVE term tied to the pathologization and abuse of LGBT people) so that fucking morons could go out there and decide you can be a lesbian and bi, straight and gay at the same time.

because YOU created a system that discourages analyzing internalized homophobia and then said it’s fucking aphobic to criticize that or be wary of that or talk about how HARMFUL it has been ESPECIALLY to LGBT youth, neurodivergent youth, and young girls who already have to deal with their attraction being stigmatized (and honestly this applies to almost every marginalized community).

“am i going crazy?” you ask, and the answer is no. but you have lost all fucking perspective in the name of identity politics that were ONLY created to say that cisgender, straight people who don’t get their dicks hard when they see pretty people aren’t actually straight and oppressive.

get your fucking passive aggressive tags off my fucking post. get your fucking “it isn’t my fault” shit off my fucking post.

the ace community is responsible for a LOT of LGBT suffering and i’m not gonna take this pass the buck shit. YOU did this.

and now LGBT people have to fucking defend BASIC things like the definition of our words while watching this government try to strip us of our rights

all so you could pretend it’s really, really hard to tell strangers how much sexual attraction you feel and when.

shut the FUCK up

[des1red]

Bisexual lesbian has been around for way longer than the split orientation model. Women have been claiming both “bisexual” and “lesbian” labels for decades. There’s a post here that gives examples of women using both labels from the 80s and 90s (and even one from the 70s); this is just a part of bi women’s history, which shouldn’t be surprising considering how many early bi women activists had a background in lesbian feminist communities.

For example, the well-known bisexual activist Lani Ka'ahumanu has talked about continuing to have a lesbian consciousness in the past, although I don’t know if she still describes herself that way:

“I recognize that homophobia is at the root of biphobia. I came to lesbianism long before my sexuality was clear to me. I lived an open lesbian lifestyle for four years. I cannot deny the importance of this experience, nor do I want to. For me lesbian identity is more than, and/or in addition to sexuality; it is a political awareness which bisexuality doesn’t altar or detract from. 10 years ago when I left my husband and full-time role of motherhood, it didn’t make me less conscious of what being a mother means. In fact, it gave me a deeper understanding. I am still a mother. That experience cannot be taken away from me. In much the same way, my lesbian awareness isn’t lost now that I claim my bisexuality. When I realized my woman-loving-woman feelings, and came out as a lesbian, I had no heterosexual privilege; yet there were important males in my life, including a son. I am bisexual because it’s real for me, not in order to acquire or flaunt the privilege that is inherent in being with men. My political consciousness is lesbian but my lifestyle is bisexual. If I keep myself quiet for another’s sense of pride and liberation, it is at the cost of my own which isn’t healthy–emotionally, politically or medically. Not only is it unhealthy, it’s ineffective.”

The SAM (which I’m going to call the split orientation model, because it’s more accurate) is usually used to describe a paired sexual orientation & romantic orientation, where “sexual orientation” and -sexual labels are supposed to convey only sexual attraction, which is different that how these terms have more commonly been used. I don’t care for that at all, either. I have seen some people describe themselves as “biromantic lesbian,” and explain that “lesbian” is a narrowly sexual identity. But I don’t know that most people who use “bisexual lesbian” are using one or the other label in a narrowly sexual sense, instead of just feeling like both terms fit them in some way, for more complex reasons.

I do think it’s sinister that you’re blaming ace people for all of this when it very much predates the organized ace community or the development of the split orientation model–something that a number of bi people also happily jumped on for their own reasons–and even currently seems to have little or nothing to do with the split orientation model for some of these (uncommon) self-identified bi lesbians.

[colorisbyshe]

You can’t take examples from 50-20+ years ago and pretend they’re relevant to this conversation. In the 70s, bisexual was becoming a distinct identity from lesbian/gay in an unprecendented way. Before that, lesbian functioned as an umbrella identity and that’s why there was a transition period where some people tried to parse that out with terminology we’d consider problematic now. Not to mention, a LOT of it that is entangled in political lesbianism (the quote you cited lollll) and is not something you want to reclaim to defend this term. Political lesbianism isn’t a good thing.

Similarly, a lot of trans/nb people from the same era use language we’d consider problematic now. It’s the same reason why some people think they’re doing something by considering Marsha a “gay man” because, well, trans was still becoming its own distinct identity outside of the “gay” umbrella and therefor she used some language that was THEN used to convey transness but now is murkier.

We have spent 50 years removing ourselves from that context. There’s a reason your examples are far and few between and end in the 90s. Not to mention, you don’t have the REACTIONS to those rare women using those terms. I can cite kinky people saying they’re LGBT going back to the OG pride parades… that doesn’t make them LGBT or mean LGBT people supported them.

Anyways, I’m not unfairly blaming aces for shit. My post is about how ace rhetoric and terminology is used to normalize a HIGHLY lesbophobic and biphobic identity. It is used to defend bigotry. It is used, as you have used it, to justify terms that cause all wlw pain.

Aces did not invent “gay people can have long term relationships and sex with people they aren’t attracted to” but aces sure do spew similar rhetoric all the time via “sex positive and sex neutral aces” and “aros can want to date too!” Aces didn’t invent Gay Panic at gay pda but they sure do defend it by arguing for “safe spaces” for “romance repulsed” aros and aces. They didn’t start “LGBT people are pedos” but they sure do bring it back every time they claim our parades aren’t safe for minors becuase we’re too sexual.

I’m well aware of what aces did and did not invent, I likely know more ace history than you do. My point isn’t trying to get assholes like you to round off with “We didn’t start the fire” as it has NOTHING to do with who started what. It’s about who NORMALIZED this rhetoric in LGBT spaces and made it “aphobic ans exclusionary” to criticize.

And it wasn’t those political lesbians from the fucking 70s you’re embarassingly citing

[des1red]

You said that the idea that you could be “bisexual” and “lesbian” at the same time is a direct result of the split attraction model and the ace community. The examples I cited are evidence that this idea has already been present for some time, and did not depend on either of those things. I do think that’s relevant to the claims you’re making. (And I’m not saying you have to like it, but you’re wrong to vilify aces for this.)

Again, I think you’re conflating two different phenomena here: the “bi lesbian” identity and split orientation identities like “homoromantic bisexual.” The second kind uses a narrow, sexual-only understand of “bisexual” (which I don’t care for, but certainly pales in comparison to the government trying to strip away LGBTQ rights). But that’s not always how people use “bi lesbian,” although some may. Unless a person is saying that one of those terms represents a romantic orientation and the other a sexual orientation, it’s completely unrelated to the split orientation model and must be inspired by something else.

And it’s really not hard to come up with something like “bi lesbian,” or to even just identify with both terms without putting them together like that. All that’s needed is for “lesbian” and “bisexual” to both be in circulation. I was just talking to someone yesterday who identifies as a bi lesbian, and they started using it without realizing that anyone else did and without being aware that there was such vitriolic discourse around it. And they didn’t use either term to be either strictly a sexual or romantic orientation. It was not modeled on the split orientation model at all. It’s absolutely possible for people to adopt this kind of identity without it being a “direct product” of the split orientation model or the ace community.

“Lesbian” was not just a generic umbrella term before 1970. “Lesbian” has been and continues to be used in multiple, related ways, and there have long been debates about who all it can cover. Here’s a summary of a debate that took place in one butch/fem community in the 40s about whether or not fems were lesbians. Notably, according to the broader meaning of “lesbian,” any woman who joined the lesbian community and “stayed” could be considered a lesbian. Because the criteria here is based on behavior, it would be possible for women to meet this definition of “lesbian” even if they had in the past or continued to find men attractive.

As far as I’m concerned, it’s still perfectly acceptable for a woman to identify as “lesbian” based on a definition like “only wants to be with women.” (And I won’t be too quick to shoot down other possible uses before hearing a person’s reasons for them.) I don’t think this understanding has ever fully fallen out of use. And I don’t think that conflicts with a definition of “bisexual” that counts all inner attractions that a person considers relevant. I don’t think people need to harmonize their understanding of “lesbian” and “bisexual” to both be either about desire/actions or about attractions/fantasies/potential. And it does not take exposure to the split orientation model to come to the conclusion that it’s possible to use there terms in combination like this. Nor does it cause me pain.

Lesbian feminist politics were often terrible for a number of reasons–which I think we’d do well to study and learn from–but I actually think that if there’s anything positive that lesbian feminism could model for is, it’s the existence of more socially-inflected understandings of identity, which allow desires, goals, and personal evaluations to be a factor. The kind of identity definitions that only consider “attraction” and treat it as some empirical trait that can be used to objectively categorize people into naturally separate orientations, is bleak and sterile. I’m definitely not going to take up the internet pitchfork in defense of it.

Anyway, I would like to see your examples of kink at the first pride parades, if you have a link on hand.

[hecho-a-mano]

God, exclusionists can fucking choke. They are ones who damage the LGBT community.

[colorisbyshe]

i fucking hate to make an ace discourse post in 20 fucking 20 but it really needs to be said and i KNOW this is gonna come off as a smarmy “i told you so post”

but i’ve been on twitter recently and there is a fucking DELUGE of people promoting the idea of “bisexual lesbians” (never bisexual gay men but like… that’s a tangential dialogue for another time). this idea that you can be bisexual and a lesbian at the same time is a direct product of the split attraction model.

this is the EXACT shit i was talking about when I said rhetoric from ace community is not compatible, at all, with the LGBT community.

sexualizing the -sexual suffix so “bisexual” SOLELY means “SEXUALLY attracted to the opposite gender” so someone can be bisexual and “homoromantic” is ACTIVELY harmful to lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals. it sexualizes bisexuals without consent and COMPLETELY redefines what gayness is so it can include attraction to the “opposite” gender.

and this is just one example of how ace inclusion–not just the inclusion of cisgender, straight aces but also the prioritization of ace ideals–hurts the LGBT community. the rhetoric that you can have sex with people you aren’t attracted to to “make it work” romantically is conversion therapy rhetoric. Ace inclusion makes it seem like the LGBT community is about our relationships to sex when that just isn’t true. Ace inclusion means “desexualizing” LGBT spaces so as not to upset asexuals. All this shit AND MORE is happening in real time and I’ve watched it get worse and worse, hand in hand with the commercialization of LGBT pride and the liberalization of LGBT activism.

ace rhetoric is eroding LGBT identities. the idea of the “bisexual lesbian” and other mogai microidentities where you parse every single aspect of your identity into a different label is actively harming vulnerable LGBT people.

and, no, this isn’t me saying “even LGBT aces have to go,” but this is me saying that putting ace identities at the forefront of ANY LGBT discussions leaves a lot of space for harm for LGBT people. and that any fucking ace rhetoric besides “it’s okay to not feel sexual attraction or want to have sex” comes at the expense of LGBT identity.

genuinely, the concept of “bisexual lesbian” is a direct product of the ace community and it has caused lesbians and bisexual women irreparable harm. and aces should be ashamed of this because this is what they have been defending for years.

this is the EXACT shit we said would come out of the split attraction model and now we have TEENAGERS telling strangers and adults “i’m sexually attracted to [x genders] but only romantically into [y]” and y’all think this is okay. even if it weren’t fucking INSANE to say lesbians can be attracted to men or that bisexuals can be half gay or half straight, you’d STILL be out of fuckng line having KIDS center identities around SOLELY sexual attraction.

i’m ripshit pissed

[colorisbyshe]

i am saying this with everything i have–there is NOTHING positive to come out of the ace community that couldn’t have been identically accomplished by simply saying “you don’t ever have to want sex, you don’t owe anyone sex, it’s okay to not sexually desire anyone” which is shit feminism has already been doing.

[devilspinkbastards]

Would just like to remind aroace people that this kind of hurtful and judgmental discourse mostly only happens online. Most of the queer spaces irl are very open and welcome new kind of discourse where people actively talk to each other about new ideas. Our community (as in the LGBTQIA+) has always been redefining and reshaping language to fit our identities and we were always at the forefront of forming new realities! Don’t feel discouraged! ❤️

[colorisbyshe]

I exist offline and will happily tell cishet aces and cis aroaces to leave LGBT people alone and to stop creating language that furthers LGBT oppression 💖 Yes I’ll say it right to their faces

LGBT people haven’t spent decades fighting to not be viewed as primarily sexual people just for bootlickers like you to throw us under the bus to seem “inclusive” and nice

You can’t be a kind person and further the oppression of vulnerable people just to kiss their oppressors ass ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

I hope all of you do feel discouraged and will try harder if you don’t

[bubsjournal]

Taking in account your tone, I very much doubt I’ll be able to change your mind about your ideas, but I can’t see this and stay quiet. I understand where you are coming from, but there are some harmful ideas present that need some reevaluation. You made mainly three points in your post: 1 - The split attraction model causes harm to LGBT people because it reinforces the stereotype that LGBT people are hyper-sexualized, thus furthering their opression and making the asexual community completely unfit to participate in the LGBT community. 2 - Including asexuals in the community will force the LGBT community to “desexualize” in order to make us comfortable 3 - What us asexuals have been advocating for is something that feminism already does. All of these culminating to a major point: Aces don’t belong in the LGBT community because their “rhetoric” is inherently harmful to those who participate in it. I don’t know if everything I say is right or whatever, so anyone can feel free to correct me and debate with me in a respectful manner if I get something wrong. Let’s start with your first arguement. “ The split attraction model causes harm to LGBT people because it reinforces the stereotype that LGBT people are hyper-sexualized thus furthering their opression, making the asexual community completely unfit to participate in the LGBT community”. I completely understand where you are coming from and I think the split attraction model can be harmful in those ways, but it’s the way we found to describe what we feel, it doesn’t necessarily applies to everyone and you shouldn’t feel obligated to use it to understand your identity. Also, the opression doesn’t come from aces trying to explain how our kind of attraction works, but from people outside of this community who already have prejudices against LGBTQIA people and appropriate our language and theories to pit us against each other. Those who are ill intentioned will always find a way to harm the opressed. It was never our intention to make your opression worse, and I don’t think separating aces from the community will make things better, it will only weaken both communities that could benefit from the support of each other. Your second arguement was that including asexual people in the LGBTQI community will force them to “desexualize” in order to make us comfortable. This one is utterly wrong. I don’t know where this came from, but the idea that beacuse we are indifferent to sex and experience little to no sexual attraction makes us want to stop people from enjoying it and being open about it just isn’t right. We don’t want you to “desexualize”. If an asexual person ever asked to dim the sexuality of the LGBTQIA community, the problem isn’t with all aces, just that one. I don’t know how I can explain it further. The third and last point is that “there is NOTHING positive to come out of the ace community that couldn’t have been identically accomplished by simply saying “you don’t ever have to want sex, you don’t owe anyone sex, it’s okay to not sexually desire anyone” which is shit feminism has already been doing”. How do I start explaining this? The fact that asexuals suffer from corrective rape, that we are barely represented in any media and when we are our asexuality is due to a disease or trauma, that we are called frigid, broken, late bloomers amongst many other things, defines some sort of opression. I don’t want to say that our opression is worse to those of lesbian, gay, trans, bisexual and queer people, but I want you to acknowledge there is some harm being done. Our problems and causes aren’t linked to feminism beacuse they are not a gender issue. It is not linked to women being seen as objects owned by men, who therefore owe them sexual favours. No. It’s a different issue. It is linked to our sexual identity, or should I say asexual identity, just like it is for the rest of the LGBTQI community. Does the fact that our identities are seen as non existing, or as a symptom of a disease, or is considered a choice, or is due to trauma, not ring a bell? We live in a world where we are constantly told that a romantic relationship needs to have sex to be a healthy one, and if you don’t do it or don’t enjoy it, there is something wrong with you. Growing up thinking about how you’ll probably never date beacuse sex is something that is expected when you’re in a relationship does no good to you, especially if you don’t know there are others like you and think you’re broken. Having such a large community like the LGBTQIA fighting for you and so many others like you to be seen and recognized is so helpful. Can’t you see how we would benefit from your support and how you would benefit from ours? If you think that coming out as asexual or aromantic is easy and people are fine with it, I’m sorry to say, but you’re wrong. Our cause is very similar and excluding aroaces from LGBTQIA spaces is only doing more harm. The erasure and denial of our identity causes lots of misconceptions and one of those, which is present in your post, is that asexuals have sex to “make it work” in a relationship. Asexuality, just as sexuality, is a spectrum and its experieces vary from person to person. Some asexuals are sex repulsed, other - quite a lot, if I may say so - are just indifferent so sex, not seeing the appeal many people see in it, but can still enjoy it and do it to please their partners. It is not “making it work”. If someone who you love asked you to do something you’re indifferent about doing, you would do it to please them. To compare it with conversion therapy is wrong and cruel. To finish this long post, I would like to say that I understand your concerns and some of them guarantee a valid discussion, things are not set on stone and can be changed. The split attraction model was created two centuries ago and can be improved, but I don’t think that excluding aces from LGBTQI spaces will lessen your opression, because you are directing your anger at the wrong people, we are not your opressors and, again, if they use our language to opress you, that’s on them not on us. Again, if I got anything wrong in this post, please feel free to correct me. My intention here isn’t to be agressive or anything, but to debate about these issues and try to inform and get informed. Thank you for reading :^)

[oh-my-gordonramsay]

:/ i also hate to see ace discourse and remember all of yall exclusionists dipshits 😔

[colorisbyshe]

i fucking hate to make an ace discourse post in 20 fucking 20 but it really needs to be said and i KNOW this is gonna come off as a smarmy “i told you so post”

but i’ve been on twitter recently and there is a fucking DELUGE of people promoting the idea of “bisexual lesbians” (never bisexual gay men but like… that’s a tangential dialogue for another time). this idea that you can be bisexual and a lesbian at the same time is a direct product of the split attraction model.

this is the EXACT shit i was talking about when I said rhetoric from ace community is not compatible, at all, with the LGBT community.

sexualizing the -sexual suffix so “bisexual” SOLELY means “SEXUALLY attracted to the opposite gender” so someone can be bisexual and “homoromantic” is ACTIVELY harmful to lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals. it sexualizes bisexuals without consent and COMPLETELY redefines what gayness is so it can include attraction to the “opposite” gender.

and this is just one example of how ace inclusion–not just the inclusion of cisgender, straight aces but also the prioritization of ace ideals–hurts the LGBT community. the rhetoric that you can have sex with people you aren’t attracted to to “make it work” romantically is conversion therapy rhetoric. Ace inclusion makes it seem like the LGBT community is about our relationships to sex when that just isn’t true. Ace inclusion means “desexualizing” LGBT spaces so as not to upset asexuals. All this shit AND MORE is happening in real time and I’ve watched it get worse and worse, hand in hand with the commercialization of LGBT pride and the liberalization of LGBT activism.

ace rhetoric is eroding LGBT identities. the idea of the “bisexual lesbian” and other mogai microidentities where you parse every single aspect of your identity into a different label is actively harming vulnerable LGBT people.

and, no, this isn’t me saying “even LGBT aces have to go,” but this is me saying that putting ace identities at the forefront of ANY LGBT discussions leaves a lot of space for harm for LGBT people. and that any fucking ace rhetoric besides “it’s okay to not feel sexual attraction or want to have sex” comes at the expense of LGBT identity.

genuinely, the concept of “bisexual lesbian” is a direct product of the ace community and it has caused lesbians and bisexual women irreparable harm. and aces should be ashamed of this because this is what they have been defending for years.

this is the EXACT shit we said would come out of the split attraction model and now we have TEENAGERS telling strangers and adults “i’m sexually attracted to [x genders] but only romantically into [y]” and y’all think this is okay. even if it weren’t fucking INSANE to say lesbians can be attracted to men or that bisexuals can be half gay or half straight, you’d STILL be out of fuckng line having KIDS center identities around SOLELY sexual attraction.

i’m ripshit pissed

[colorisbyshe]

i am saying this with everything i have–there is NOTHING positive to come out of the ace community that couldn’t have been identically accomplished by simply saying “you don’t ever have to want sex, you don’t owe anyone sex, it’s okay to not sexually desire anyone” which is shit feminism has already been doing.

[dingusdisplay]

Fucking “ace discourse”

I could waste my time on formulating a detailed rebuttal, but that shit is just… Exhausting. I’d rather chew on broken glass.

Anyway, acephobes, y'all are on the same kinda Bullshit that biphobes and TERFs are. All of your “discourse” stems from the exact same place that homophobia does and I’m tired of it. Go learn some compassion and Figure Yourselves Out.

Examine your thoughts and feelings for a minute. The problem isn’t the existence of ace or aro people, nor is the problem their inclusion in the LGBT+ community. The specificity of romantic attraction doesn’t fucking “erode” current LGBT identities, it at most it has the power to supply specificity to people that identify as “queer” or otherwise struggle to find a lable. Figure your problem out, cause ace people aren’t fucking it.

Also, the whole “bi lesbian” phenomenon just sounds like a bunch of people struggling with compulsory heterosexuality. Like, duh, no such thing as a “bi lesbian”, but the existence of such a phrase isn’t caused by ace people, you wingbats.

Can’t y'all go and pour all this endless energy into helping out your local community?? At least bringing elderly people their groceries has a tangible fucking benefit.

[ashenprincx]

sometimes I think about how, when someone was killed by a person thinking they were owed sex and a relationship, huge numbers of people on this site really tried to claim her queer identity absolutely had no influence on her murder and talking about it was actually misogynistic. when she had come out a week before she was killed. and then supporters of the killer also filled tags for that identity with gore and shit, including pictures of her body. and still people were legitimately sending death threats if you even brought it up, many vehemently denying she had that identity. her name was bianca devins and she was asexual.

[magical-xirl-4]

Anyway if you say that “there is no ace spectrum”, “aces are valid but not lgbt :)” or “but everyone’s demisexual!!1!” you will swiftly meet the sharp end of my blade

[priceforrottenjudgement]

This is gonna sound major cringe and is also a bit of a downer considering its asexuality day, but we've apparently all collectively decided to abandon acecourse and everyone has realised that bashing aces isnt that cool actually, which im SUPER grateful for, and i just wanna quickly say that acecourse and how people treated aces has kind of fucked me and other aces on here up lmao.

I wasnt ashamed of being ace until you fuckheads taught me it was cringy, immature, invasive, fake etc etc. I have seen people call aces "inherently homophobic", "childlike", "basically straight", "attention whores", "wanting to be oppressed" and worse SO MANY TIMES. Ive seen ppl who were big names on here (lmao) spout hurtful and untrue shit and be celebrated by thousands of bloggers. Ive seen people make up the wildest strawmen and the most unhinged conspiracy theories about how aces were gonna steal all the lgbt ressources (????what) and how allosexual was apparently a slur in some dialect in canada and how the split attraction model was homophobic and ive seen you fucks eat that shit up. Yall made fucking sideblog dedicated to telling aces they werent valid. Like????? How pathetic is that??? I remember some of the most vicious ~exclusies~ and some of you are still active to this day and i doubt yall have the self-awareness necessary for it, but i hope you feel at least a little bit sorry or ashamed.

This entire narrative was incredibly damaging and tbh i havent fully processed it to this day. I cringe whenever i see someone post about asexuality, i cringe when someone mentions an asexual character, i cringe when i see asexuality trending. I wasnt like this before yall decided my identity was something you could flex your debate team muscles over.

Fuck you.

Happy international asexuality day.

[ace-culture-is]

:> I will start responding to hate with memes. And a block. Thank you.

[quill-and-chalk]

I’ve said it before and I will say it again. Any view point that attempts to invalidate or Gatekeep LGBT labels is rooted in TERF ideology.

Lesbian discourse? TERF Ideology.

The Battle Axe Bi argument? TERF Ideology.

Transmedicalism? TERF Ideology.

Ace/Aro Discourse? TERF Ideology.

If you show me some stupid LGBT gatekeeping then I can show you how it’s rooted in TERF Ideology. If you think your gatekeeping is different you’re wrong. Stay mad.

[femmewitch-deactivated20220825]

they’re not wrong tho 👀

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[nuderefsarebest]

[acejupiter]

“all asexuals and aromantics are lgbtq” i say into the mic.

the crowd cheers. because in the real world, lgbtq people are aware that exclusionism is fucking stupid and ace exclusionism relies on the same ‘logic’ that has previously caused exclusion of bi, pan, binary and nonbinary trans people and POC in the lgbtq community.

seriously, i hope aphobes do realise they are being turned into, or are already, TERFs. and in any real-life lgbtq space, would never be welcome due to making literally everyone else uncomfortable. but the thing is, y’all don’t exist in real-life lgbtq spaces, because you’re only wanting to state your harmful exclusionist ideals when you have the cowardly anonymity to troll a positive, loving community.