sorry

she pronouns. 20 year old closeted gay girl. message me for my personal blog! cishets aren't lgbt. mostly mobile blogging, this will look prettier when i hop on a computer.

[boo-against-baddies]

“ some aces like sex! ”

okay

“ some aces can seek out sex! ”

o..okay..

“ some aces enjoy sex with their partner, seek it out, and enjoy the experience!”

uh, yeah, thats sexual attraction….?? thats like saying gay men seek out female partners the fuck are you even saying

[aces-aint-cishets]

That’s literally not sexual attraction. You think the only reason someone would enjoy sex or seek it out from their partner is because they’re sexually attracted to them? Eww.

[newterjuice]

[cattgirl]

this is what that “ew icky sexual attraction” concept does to people :/

[colorsofsocialjustice]

Sexual attraction is an attraction to a person. Enjoying sex is not sexual attraction.

Honestly, thinking that sexual attraction has to be present is ludicrous, because otherwise prostitutes wouldn’t exist. Do you think people are attracted to many prostitutes? Let’s be honest, there are some ugly, crashes out prostitutes who still get business. A lot of the time it’s just people wanting to have sex because it feels good.

- Blue

[mint-corset]

Aren’t asexuals beings without sexual desires? To have sex doesn’t require you to be attracted to the person but it does require the desire to simply want sex, unless it’s rape. However OP mentions an asexual person seeking sex and enjoying it with a partner. Including the following arguments of saying sexual attraction isn’t required, sexual attraction is sexually desiring someone. With that said. If an asexual person was someone who had sexual desires and seeked sex with a partner, aren’t they just a person who likes loveless sex and not asexual at all? If anything I would understand calling them aromantic if they must have a label.

[colorsofsocialjustice]

Like, I love my fiancé. I enjoy the act of sex. I like making him happy and feel good. I enjoy having sex with him.

But I don’t experience sexual attraction. To anyone. I don’t feel what others feel when they see someone attractive.

But still, sex is fun. I enjoy it. He enjoys it. So I enjoy having sex with him.

Think of it this way, if you get the urge to masturbate, does that mean you’re sexually attracted to your hand? Of course not.

- Blue

[impratical]

I’m having a hard time comprehending how that makes literally any sense because it’s such a blatant contradiction.

>I love my fiance

>I enjoy the act of sex

>I enjoy having sex with him

>But I don’t experience sexual attraction

You see the contradiction right? I’m not in the fucking twilight zone here am I?

I also like how you inadvertently compared having sex with your fiance to masturbation, that was fucking funny. Because sex is obviously just like masturbation. 

[97luftballons-deactivated201712]

Anyway, if you want sex or experience sexual attraction or have a sex drive, you’re not asexual

[tranny-levi-deactivated20180721]

“I don’t experience sexual attraction but I experience sexual attraction”

Can y'all maybe just accept that you’re an “icky allosexual” and move on

[loleepop-dizeez-deactivated2018]

“I don’t like eating broccoli but I get enjoyment from putting it in my mouth, chewing it, and swallowing it”

[littlemisscancer]

this is so confusing

[friendly-neighborhood-patriarch]

[libertarirynn-deactivated202006]

I feel like I’m having a stroke

[homoethotic]

I’m fucking done with y'all Holy shit

[wrecktums]

“If you get the urge to masturbate, does that mean you’re sexually attracted to your hand?”

Me :

[fulldiscoursemeal]

@tuxedo-cut-man so what is the cut off of enough attraction to no longer be categorized as ace? If gray aces feel a certain amount of attraction what makes them always ace? Are there gray "allosexuals" (in your terms)

[fulldiscoursemeal]

If the demi thing is something you actually are interested in: it's because most people don't know they are demi until, well, they know someone for a very long time (time frame I've run into for most demi people is 2-5 years of knowing/dating someone) so most think they are ace until that point. With ace identities I kinda take it as they all start at 0 (attraction to no one) and some stay there (ace) or move slightly away (demi/gray).

I see that because there is a point of 0 attraction but ID-ing as demi is acknowledgement of the potential for attraction. So you know you can experience attraction so wouldn't that make you not ace?

[fulldiscoursemeal]

Why is demi under the ace umbrella if it involves feeling attraction?

[yellowskittles]

cishet demisexuals during pride month like

[colorisbyshe]

He literally starts the video saying he doesn’t believe in pride for things you didn’t “earn or work towards” demonstrating that cishet aces (or in his case cishet demis, sorry) don’t fucking understand that LGBT people have to WORK to be proud and have to WORK TOWARDS being out and that we’re proud of our movement, we’re celebrating our ability to thrive despite the world literally trying its best to kill us.

Like? Pride isn’t just “I’m happy I’m gay/bi/trans/whatever,” it is “I am proud of the fact that I have survived this long in spite of everything. I am proud of my movement for being here for me and making it so I can survive. I am proud of our collective resilience, and so we take this month to celebrate who we are and what we’ve done with moments to mourn those we have lost.”

While he spends this video quite emotional and talks about actual, legitimate hardships (that I’m sure most women, even non-aces, can relate to because, helloooo misogyny and rape culture), this line of thought clearly demonstrates the disconnect between cishet aces and LGBT culture and our struggle.

The ace struggle is one of self-acceptance which maybe doesn’t feel “earned” but the LGBT struggle is literally working towards being able to live without harm, rejection, and ostracization. It is a fight to survive.

[fulldiscoursemeal]

gonna change my url when I'm on a computer but I'm gonna try to be back a bit in calling out homophobes lmao. I've stayed up to date with the ""discourse"" but I haven't engaged much. Stay tuned ig.

[cheercaptain]

[fulldiscoursemeal]

Im envious of the ace narrative of finding the idea of asexuality online and feeling relieved. When I realized I was gay it pushed me into a really dark place, and I felt anything but relief.

[memelovingbot]

this is the money Discourse. reblog and you’ll receive money

[fulldiscoursemeal]

I don't feel like reblogging + engaging in this conversation but I saw someone say you can have all the aces in your community and not just "homo aces" like it's all or nothing. But like if we wanna talk about "allo" people we pick and choose them? Yo breaking news everyone in the universe is lgbt we don't discriminate

[mogai-is-bogai]

I’m still thinking about that post that brought up how wild it is that “you’re oppressed” is considered “ace positivity”

Hey all my fellow lesbians- u WILL get called a dyke and U ARE VALID uwu

[nonbinary-rey]

when you put it like that, holy shit

[deleto000000-blog]

discourse aside ace tungle just usually isnt good bce theres so much fear mongering towards ace kids smh like dont give easily impressionable people another reason to think theyre gonna get killed……………

[fulldiscoursemeal]

Hi everyone, this semester was Bad And Good but I hope everyone is having a much needed break / will be soon.

[lesbitchka]

this is a call to lgbtqpa++++ fandoms!!!1!! LGs, grab your forced fetishization by str8 people!!!11 Bs, grab your stereotyped promiscuity and threesomes!!1!!! Ts, grab your forcedly assigned birth gender!!1!!!1 cishet aro/aces, grab your privilege and misplaced sense of belonging!!1!!11

[fulldiscoursemeal]

I know i havent been posting much but in light of the election I hope all my followers are staying safe and taking care of themselves and others. I'll reply to anyone if they need to talk.

[hatekeeping]

if an ace says “since allos are focussed on sexual spaces, aces can create nonsexual spaces for aces and minors in the LGBT community” the problem is not that they’re “slut shaming” people, which is a fucking garbage term anyway, the problem is that they’re making vintage homophobic statements and implications about LGBT people that stretch far beyond “slut shaming” but into downright suggesting LGBT people, unless they are ace and therefore pure and safe to be around, are unfit to work with and provide for children. this is not “slut shaming” and this is not “sexualisation” anymore. this is a completely different monster.

some ace communities have literally been urging minors to identify as either asexual or “allosexual” and push the fairytale of “aces always respect your boundaries because they’re not into sex”, yet think they’re the ones and only ones capable of providing LGBT spaces for minors. i know the ace community likes to paints itself as this group of boundary-respecting, sex-free, cake-eating people you’re super safe around, but not feeling sexual attraction or not having sex or whatever isn’t making you more fit to be around children than “allos”, especially not when you literally urge kids to call themselves “allo”, push the concept of asexuality onto questioning kids before anything else or tell them they’re safer around you than around “sexual” people.

if your definition of a safe space for LGBT minors is “sex is never mentioned ever”, you’re not actually providing a safe space or a healthy environment at all. if your definition of a “casual” LGBT space is the much-reblogged “queer café”, you, an ace, are not the first one to come up with this brilliant idea and you’re certainly not the only one who can provide it, and if your focus is gonna be on asexuality or you’re a cis straight person, you are doing the “queer” part of café wrong. 

yes, there need to be more spaces fit for minors and traumatised people in the LGBT community, but if you fail to acknowledge that LGBT people can’t easily build and keep spaces for minors and youth because society paints us as pedophilic deviants who convert and taint kids with their homosexuality and instead suggest that the aces should take over, swoop in and finally create those “safe” spaces the gays just couldn’t seem to provide, you’re a homophobe and shouldn’t be around LGBT people, let alone kids.

[fulldiscoursemeal]

People who are cis and solely het-attracted oppress the lgbt community regardless of if they do or do not experience sexual or romantic attraction. I have yet to see an argument that actually convinces me otherwise.

[lex-loves-red]

I have a question. Please I don’t want any harsh backlash, but who do ALL OF THEM oppress the lgbt community? Just because they aren’t part of it doesn’t mean the are oppressing it.

[fulldiscoursemeal]

Im really sorry I missed this reblog so this is very late! Basically if you aren't part of the oppressed group you are default a part of the oppressing group. There can't really be anyone outside of the system like this. And you don't have to actively be contributing to be an oppressor, just existing in the system and benefiting from it makes you one.

[fulldiscoursemeal]

They're ace-spec because they don't literally always want to have sex. Apparently the logic goes that only experiencing sexual attraction sometimes instead of nonstop is weird.

I guess I was too busy thinking about sex to see the perfect logic of that.