How can we fight Donald Trump's hate mongering? Step one, in Today’s Trump Takedown: Call our legislators and demand they denounce Steve Bannon as the president-elect's chief strategist.
Click through to identify your senators and representatives, find their contact information, and know what to say when you make the call: https://goo.gl/XtwhcH.
We totally know what’s (probably) going to happen in Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life. Spoiler: Emily’s super into Neutral Milk Hotel now. https://goo.gl/FN5Hwu
Zayn speaks his mind--and not yours--on debut album
Jade looks at the debut from FOM’s favorite former boybander.
ZAYN’s solo album is finally here. And it’s pretty solid.
But a lot of the commentary you’ll hear about the album will come packaged with repressed emotions over Zayn’s departure from One Direction, so I’ll start there.
When Zayn quit the band, he caused lingering feelings of grief in the hearts of millions of 1D fans around the globe. Including mine.
I, too, was a 1D fan. Initially, I was upset that the band as we knew it was pretty much over and done with, but I was also happy for Zayn. As the years pressed on, he seemed to become more and more withdrawn in interviews and performances; clearly, the move was the right choice for him. Even if it wasn’t the smoothest exit in boyband history.
His sensational, hasty desertion--mid-tour, amid tabloid cheating allegations, and delivered via Facebook while his bandmates played a show in Jakarta--was one of the biggest news stories of 2015. The buzz followed him around all year, from his first solo red carpet appearance at the 2015 Asian Awards, to Men’s Paris Fashion Week, to his signing with RCA in July, to his first magazine cover in September. And it’s still lingering, even as his solo album sits atop iTunes charts around the world.
Unsurprisingly, that buzz has both helped and hurt Zayn.
It helped him break away from being one of the “other” members of 1D to the general public--aka anyone who isn’t Harry Styles--and, along with a new management team, landed him a slew of magazine spreads and interviews. But those interviews included candid answers to questions about his time in 1D, and that’s where the hurt really started to kick in.
In The FADER, Zayn offered his first public admissions about the music he released with 1D:
There was never any room for me to experiment creatively in the band. If I would sing a hook or a verse slightly R&B, or slightly myself, it would always be recorded 50 times until there was a straight version that was pop, generic as fuck, so they could use that version. Whenever I would suggest something, it was like it didn’t fit us.
It makes sense, then, that he wanted to break out on his own, especially considering how much more into--and responsible for--the collective sound the other members of the group were. Artists should be able to express their ideas and creativity in the projects they put their names on, but Zayn has reiterated time and again he was not given that opportunity in 1D.
Zayn signed with RCA at the end of July.
When he signed with RCA, Zayn announced the start of his solo career with the hashtags “#realmusic” and “#realme,” inciting a firestorm from fans who took his words as a slight against the band they’d loved and supported for the last five years. In Finding – and Hating – the Real Zayn, Julia Irion Martins writes:
What’s hurtful about Zayn’s #realmusic is that someone from the inside, someone we expected to respect us, is now doing the opposite: being openly disrespectful.
Zayn’s tweet could be interpreted as poor wording. It could, admittedly, be a dig at One Direction. Or it could be a declaration: he’s finally able to make the music he dreamed of making when he auditioned for The X-Factor all those years ago. Music that’s real to him and his experiences.
But some fans aren’t very interested in reality. The Verge’s Kaitlyn Tiffany writes:
Boy bands are about fantasy fulfillment. They create a world in which boys are kind, and people don't hurt each other on purpose … the group is a cohesive, functional whole, which means there's no room for "creative differences" or rifts — never mind a real, contentious breakup.
Zayn even touched on this idea in conversation with The FADER:
... it’s just the way the fans are. They’re so passionate, and once they get their head around an idea, that’s the way it is regardless of anything.
Some fans seem to feel a sense of ownership over 1D. The band is their “happy place,” and thus should primarily exist for that purpose alone. They should never be anything but five brothers on the ride of their lives, and they should never question the products they push along the way.
It’s about time we all faced reality. We’re entitled to our feelings, but not at the expense of the people those feelings are for. One Direction was Zayn’s real life for five years; that takes precedence over the alternate universe any of us created for him in our heads.
Nonetheless, Zayn’s statements might have lost him the full power of 1D’s fanbase--but not all of it. His first single shot to number one on the Billboard charts, his new album is poised to take the top spot tomorrow, and his music is sure to bring in new fans.
So let’s talk about the music.
zayn: 🎶
On his debut Mind of Mine, Zayn layers different genres of music to create a distinct sound and style, all while remaining very much R&B. The influences are there, of course--“dRuNk” has some Usher vibes, while “SHE DON’T LOVE ME” would fit on any 90s R&B playlist--but Zayn never loses sight of his singular vision.
And what’s that, exactly?
Most of the past week’s reviews seem to think it’s sex. The album has an undeniably lusty undercurrent: there’s “fucking and fighting” in “PILLOWTALK”; keeping it casual in a friends-with-benefits kind of way in “wRoNg,” his collaboration with Kehlani; and “TiO,” which leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination.
To some, this is Zayn making a statement about his new image as an adult contemporary artist, in every sense of the term. To others, this is a function of Zayn trying to distance himself from One Direction. (Completely ignoring some of the glaringly obvious sexual innuendo in 1D’s lyrics, even dating back to their first album, Up All Night. Anyone remember “Another World”? To be fair, it was a B-side. But there’s also “No Control”; “Little White Lies”; “Alive”; and “Love You Goodbye,” off Made in the A.M., 1D’s first album sans Zayn.)
And to me? Zayn’s a 23-year-old man who likes to have sex, so it’s not surprising he wants to talk about sex in some of his songs. And that’s some, not all, because he explores other themes, too: vulnerability in relationships, heartache, love, regret, friendship.
In “fOoL fOr YoU,” a gorgeous Lennon- and Elton John-esque piano ballad, Zayn pours his heart out about falling over and over again for a “tainted” love. “rEaR vIeW” examines self-worth in a toxic relationship, while “INTERMISSION: fLoWeR” is a stunning song entirely in Urdu. It’s one of the many musical touches on the album that draw from Zayn’s Pakistani roots (along with Bollywood instrumental influences in “iT’s YoU” and “MiNd Of MiNdd (Intro)”). Standout track “BeFoUr” is widely rumored to be about his former bandmates, both due to the lyrics (“Can’t tune my chords into your songs, no”) and the title (FOUR was the last album he recorded with the group).
Throughout, these songs only benefit from Zayn’s voice. He stays in his lower register for a good portion of the album, going along with the hazy, heady vibe of some of the slower tracks. He isn’t shy about slipping into his falsetto, either, with an incredible high note during the last bridge of “sHe.” And his impressive, powerful higher register is on full display in “PILLOWTALK,” “LIKE I WOULD,” and “TiO.”
Still, he leaves a few things to be desired vocally. Knowing the full versatility of Zayn’s voice, I’m sometimes left yearning for more of his power, more of the oomph he’s displayed in 1D’s catalogue. Keeping the vocals simple and understated might be a stylistic choice, and not one of necessity, but it makes for one of the few disappointing aspects of the album. Hopefully, more live performances are in the pipeline. Zayn’s performances of “iT’s YoU” and “LIKE I WOULD” on The Tonight Show in February and March, respectively, brought in rave reviews. (BBC Live Lounge, anyone?)
malayho: Recording in tents. Acoustic treatment from surrounding trees and open air is epic
Like Zayn’s vocals, the production of Mind of Mine is also a thing of beauty. “BeFoUr”--crafted by James Ryan Ho, better known as Malay--is incredibly intricate, and one of the album’s purest R&B moments. Malay, of course, had a hand in producing a large part of Frank Ocean’s Grammy-winning album Channel Orange, so Ocean’s influence can be found here and there throughout Mind of Mine, but the sound is still overwhelmingly Zayn’s.
Or at least I think it is. Others, like Jamieson Cox at The Verge, seem to disagree:
"Pillowtalk" and "Truth" are guitar-centric and billowing, like Costco versions of the music on Miguel’s Wildheart; Kehlani feature "Wrong" and single "Like I Would" sound just like The Weeknd, solemn and depraved. The album’s introspective moments suggest Frank Ocean, the genre’s beloved poet-hermit, and its upbeat ones suggest Jeremih.
If Zayn is only a product of these artists, then they’re only products of others. There’s Kanye West, who with 808s and Heartbreak paved the way for rappers and R&B singers (and Zayn) to pour out their emotions with broken-down beats and melancholic lyrics. And there’s Drake, who emerged soon after, featured The Weeknd on Take Care’s “Crew Love,” and brought the melancholy vibe to new heights of popularity. And, to be fair to Cox, that does bring us to The Weeknd. After three years and a feature on an Ariana Grande song, Abel properly broke mainstream radio with a new-but-familiar sound, borrowing from more rhythmic R&B and Michael Jackson--coincidentally one of Zayn’s musical heroes.
My point is: modern R&B hardly belongs to any one musician. It’s recycled, reused, and reinvented as artists create their own distinct sound. Music builds off itself. We wouldn’t have today’s R&B if we didn’t have all the incarnations--and the other genres--that came before it. (Also, nothing on the album sounds even remotely close to Jeremih, but nice try, I guess?)
Still, many people just aren’t very willing to accept Zayn’s contribution. Cox continues:
If the album is a success, all of the artists listed above as influences take on different roles. They’re more than just contemporaries. They’re competitors, and they all offer a signature quality Zayn is still trying to find.
True, these artists will compete with Zayn in the pop-R&B landscape, but I’d argue that Zayn has several things giving him that signature quality--and edge--Cox denies him: an incredible voice, a singular point of view, an understanding of who he wants to be musically, and the ability to weave all of that together into one cohesive album.
Zayn celebrating his number one debut single.
Zayn’s debut, after all, is called Mind of Mine, and that’s exactly what we’re getting. For the first time, we’re hearing Zayn’s #realmusic: his thoughts, his feelings, his life. And no one else’s.
Jade is a journalist, fashion blogger, and lover of all things pop culture. Catch her on Twitter and Instagram @jadejarvistv.
Make a Wolverine-type weapon out of your keys so you can stab someone.
Do not make a Wolverine-type weapon out of your keys; your weak woman grip will force the keys back into your palm, thereby giving your assailant a head start.
Do not wear headphones.
Do not wear your hair in a ponytail.
Do not wear your hair in a braid.
Do not have hair — just chop it all off (but only when walking around without an escort. At all other times, your hair should resemble Ariel’s from The Little Mermaid).
Take any women’s self-defense class offered by any police department anywhere.
Do not smile.
Do not make eye contact.
Do not speak.
Be assertive.
Bring a too-big sweatshirt wherever you go, whatever the weather, to avoid tempting men with your body.
Learn to run a mile in under five minutes.
Never take your phone out of your purse.
Text your closest (distance- and relationship-wise) friend constant updates on your location.
Carry a rape whistle.
Carry mace.
Keep your hands free.
In the event of an assault, do not yell “help”; “fire” or “free pizza” will likely attract more attention.
Do not count on anyone to help you.
Do not go outside alone. Ever. For any reason.
Hannah is one of the co-founders of Full-on Monets. She spends most of her free time watching Golden Girls and putting sweatshirts on her dog. She can be found on tumblr and twitter, or you can email her at [email protected].
Last week brought us a definite goodbye to Parks and Recreation, a possible goodbye to Agent Carter, and a too-long hiatus between now and when How to Get Away With Murder returns. This state of affairs begs one question:
Where on TV can we now go to see women be really, really, really great at their jobs?
(This is work-place specific, btw; don’t get on my case about, like, The Walking Dead.)
AGENTS OF SHIELD
Melinda May
I will pay five hundred dollars right now for a pair of flats.
I sort of hate this stupid show, but I just love Melinda so much. Kicking ass. Not wanting to get into fights at first. Being a legend at SHIELD. Bonding with the goddess Sif as equals. Being always levelheaded and morally upstanding on the job. Just a real class act.
ARCHER
Lana Kane
If you call me buddy again, I will put the bullets in your body by hand.
Archer is primarily a show about drunken incompetence, but Lana Kane is the level-headed, professional oasis in a sea of Cheryls and Archers. Sure, she might sleep with and/or shoot a co-worker on occasion (who hasn’t?), but overall, if you want a job done right, you send Lana. Plus, she’s now doing full-time espionage while raising a baby. James Bond could never.
ARROW
Felicity Smoak and Laurel Lance
I should add ‘personal Internet researcher for Oliver Queen’ to my job title.
Felicity sure seems to take a lot of time off from her day job doing whatever she does at Palmer Tech (something between running the place and doing nothing? Ray isn’t very clear on that), but she’s obviously a key part of the company and the only one the CEO feels comfortable coming to with work or personal problems.
Kate Spencer: Welcome back. I have to say, I am impressed. I would have thought blackmail was a little dark for you.
Laurel Lance: Someone recently told me, once you let the darkness inside, it never comes out.
Laurel's an assistant distract attorney in maybe one of the most corrupt fictional cities ever. And every single night, she moonlights with Felicity as vigilantes for no pay or credit, taking down criminals, super villains, and the league of assassins. I hate going to work when I stayed up watching too many Gossip Girl episodes the night before.
BROOKLYN NINE NINE
Rosa Diaz, Amy Santiago, and Gina Linetti
Rosa: What kind of woman doesn’t have an axe?
Amy and Rosa are fantastic detectives. They’re exactly how you wish cops were: tough, smart, moral, understanding.
Jake: Rosa has this dumb rule about not mixing work with personal stuff.
Amy: That's actually not a bad policy. I once gave my aunt a jaywalking ticket and things really deteriorated between us.
They’re also damn funny. As for Gina, despite her protests and apparent laziness, she is back in school and has been given more responsibility at work to reach her full potential.
I was born for politics: I have great hair, and I love lying.
I would extra recommend this show for anyone who misses the supportive ensemble of Parks and Recreations.
ELEMENTARY
Joan Watson
No. I am dissecting a body in the middle of the night. We are not having a moment.
Unlike the traditional detective/observer set up, Elementary’s Holmes and Watson are full partners in detective work. Watching Joan learn investigative work from Holmes, while bringing her own perspective and skills, has been a delight. Furthermore, Joan’s skill has actually been allowed to grow to the point of being Holmes’ professional equal. Even Moriarty writes Joan letters to tell her how impressive she is.
EMPIRE
Cookie Lyons
You need to stop rappin’ like you from the streets, ’cause you not about that life!
When Cookie walked out of prison and into a board meeting to demand a job at her ex-husband’s music company, it might have seemed like she was getting in over her head. After 17 years in jail, what could she know about the industry? Well, she sure as hell knows how to build a hit, how to deal with artists, and how to get what she wants. If she’s this good right out of the gate, she’ll be unstoppable once she’s gotten more clients and authority at Empire.
LAW AND ORDER: SVU
I don’t have to sell you guys on Olivia Benson, right? You know. You know in your very bones that Olivia Benson has your back.
MAD MEN
Peggy Olson and Joan Harris
I am the person you need to impress right now.
Do I need to tell you about Peggy Olson? How dare you not know about Peggy Olson. This badass rose to the ranks of copy writer as a woman in the 1960s. She’s a creative genius worthy of Don Draper's jealousy. She will fight her male boss about mediocre work, she will save the company with brilliant last minute pitches, and she won’t let it slide when her accomplishments are overlooked.
They can’t stand it. They’ll drag you into the garbage out there. They just want you to be as miserable as they are. I say let them have it.
Joan Harris is a PARTNER at a Manhattan advertising agency. LIKE??? Even today, that would be such an incredible accomplishment. No one in the office seems to see how hard she works to make sure everyone has what they need and to smooth over disasters before they even come up. She's invaluable to the agency. She can throw a last-minute Christmas party or apply a tourniquet -- she can basically do anything.
REIGN
Queen Catherine and Queen Mary
Queen Catherine: Such glory you promise, and so cunning you've become... How you've changed since you came back to us from convent. I miss the girl you were.
Mary: Many will. She was easier to kill.
Mary and Catherine have a rather antagonistic relationship, which is great to see play out with two female leads. As much as catty women is a horrible troupe I want to see die, how many substantial female rivalries can you name? But these women aren’t always at odds; they often ban together for the sake of the crown and the kingdom, working in spite of whatever nonsense their husbands are up to. Watching a young woman actually learn about power and responsibility and leadership from a female mentor is far too rare for TV, making this show a rather underrated treat.
SCANDAL
Olivia Pope
I am very good at what I do. I am better at it than anybody else.
At this point the show is mostly spy thriller and romance, but on the occasions the show actually gives Olivia a case at her office? Well, she can still spin a scandal into a triumph with the snap of her fingers. Plus, she’s one of the only people who puts Fitz in his place. That’s not, and shouldn’t be, her job, but I love to see it anyway.
(I still have no idea what Abby or Quinn’s jobs are, but bless them for living this long.)
VEEP
Selina Meyer and Amy Brookheimer
I’m the Vice President of the United States, you stupid little fuckers. That door should be half its height so that people can only approach me in my office on their goddamn motherfucking knees!
Look, look, look: everyone on Veep is terrible at their job, while also being the best person in the world at their job. It’s sort of about how no one could possibly succeed.
If there is any dirty trick I cannot stand, it is honesty.
Selina Meyer and Amy Brookheimer deserve to be on this list for their profane insults alone.
This is by far not a comprehensive list, but I hope it will make a good jumping-off point for those of you likewise floundering in the wake of television’s great losses. Leslie, Peggy, and Annalise are leaving us in good hands for the time being.
Sara has a degree in television and a fear of squirrels (unrelated). Follow her thrilling saga on Twitter @binaryfission.
Make a Wolverine-type weapon out of your keys so you can stab someone.
Do not make a Wolverine-type weapon out of your keys; your weak woman grip will force the keys back into your palm, thereby giving your assailant a head start.
Do not wear headphones.
Do not wear your hair in a ponytail.
Do not wear your hair in a braid.
Do not have hair — just chop it all off (but only when walking around without an escort. At all other times, your hair should resemble Ariel’s from The Little Mermaid).
Take any women’s self-defense class offered by any police department anywhere.
Do not smile.
Do not make eye contact.
Do not speak.
Be assertive.
Bring a too-big sweatshirt wherever you go, whatever the weather, to avoid tempting men with your body.
Learn to run a mile in under five minutes.
Never take your phone out of your purse.
Text your closest (distance- and relationship-wise) friend constant updates on your location.
Carry a rape whistle.
Carry mace.
Keep your hands free.
In the event of an assault, do not yell “help”; “fire” or “free pizza” will likely attract more attention.
Do not count on anyone to help you.
Do not go outside alone. Ever. For any reason.
Hannah is one of the co-founders of Full-on Monets. She spends most of her free time watching Golden Girls and putting sweatshirts on her dog. She can be found on tumblr and twitter, or you can email her at [email protected].
But why do I keep coming back to Arianne being my character when there are other fantastic female characters in Dorne? In the series as a whole? Why does this feel like such a personal slight, as well as socially irresponsible?
The answer I keep coming back to is that when I read the books, I picture Prince Doran Martell as my dad.
It truly means more than I can possibly say that they cast Alexander Siddig as Doran Martell. Even better, he looks nothing like my dad, which I’ll be grateful for when they give him a sexposition scene. However, his casting would mean more to me if they had given him a daughter. A willful daughter who fought him, and did not listen to him, and loved him, and eventually came around to understanding him. To the best of my memory, the only tender scene between an Arab man and his daughter I’ve ever watched on screen — and I watch A LOT of television and movies — is in Aladdin. So that’s fucking upsetting.
I had a horse in this race and HBO shot it and the jockey out back before the starting signal. I needed this. And If I needed this, I can’t imagine how many other girls of color out there needed this. Given the prevailing cruel and sexist stereotypes of Middle Eastern men in American media and culture, I can’t imagine how much good a hit show like Game of Thrones could do by simply having a strong and complex father-daughter narrative.
I’m not saying television owes me anything. But what I am saying is that cutting an Arab (or North African, or Indian) woman who’s the center of her story is more than “streamlining” the show. It’s actively hostile, it’s lazy, it’s sexist, it’s racist, and it’s a big deal.
from If Arianne Martell Isn't in Game of Thrones, I'm Going to Flip a Fucking Table and You're All Just Going to Have to Deal with It by Sara.
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