I write some too if you want to check it out. My AO3 is Bozo_the_clown333 :) I have a new one I'm working on that I should be posting soon but here's a little story I did for an assignment. I think it's pretty cool.
Damned but Complete (An Anthem fanfic)
By: Bozo_the_clown333 (my AO3)
What is this pain inside of us? We writhe in the resting hours between e’en and morn and moan in agony for the thought of our brother. It’s hot and sharp as the point of the flame of a candle. Our mind tells us to leave it be, as the closer we get the more it stings, but our heart is curious. Yearning for meaning and understanding, it draws us closer to the candle’s cutting tip of heat. Even as our fingertips char and the benumb throbbing spreads through our hands, we dare to draw ourselves away from the flame’s enticing glow.
From our conception we have been taught that anything deviating from the common interest of the collective is bad. That we shan’t think of things outside of what we have been told to think. That we shan’t question or be curious but, somehow, this feeling has roused us to deviate from these teachings. We’ve questioned, explored places uncharted and unregulated, and stolen from those in a position of authority, all in the name of killing our inquisitive feline. And though this quest for knowledge puts us and our brother at risk of scrutiny by our fellow brethren, we continue forward with fervor.
The Unconquered leads us through, composed and unwavering. The determination the Unconquered exudes is palpable and in itself quells most fears at the bud. The Unconquered worries for our well-being, as our brother has changed… We tell our brother we are here to stay; we want to be with the Unconquered always. In return, we are pushed away… Left behind to save us from damnation.
We want to go, too. If that means damnation, death, then so be it. We shall face whatever danger alongside our brother. For their eyes hold a flame, one that our brethren don’t possess. Our brethren live without fire or hope, soft and humble. Where the Unconquered walks with a head high held, our brothers crawl and cringe. We wish to be damned with the Unconquered, rather than blessed with all our brothers.
We are unknowing of the feelings that lie within. Save the language to express them, conveying it to our fellow man is a futile task. It is painful; the inability to identify the bounds of our sensibility. Unknowing is blissful until you are no longer blind to the input of your surroundings. We find that once we are given sight, it is no longer possible to remain ignorant. This is what the Unconquered has done for us; opened our eyes to realities that are of our man. We are punished for trying, we are punished for asking, we are punished regardless of intention. For we enjoy our newfound sight, but we haven’t been gifted the vocabulary to define it.
So, we struggle, wrestling within ourselves, searching for rhyme or reason. We are hurting. The pain is so sweet, never failing to ensnare us in its delicious uncertainty. We search every waking moment for a chance to feel its searing bliss, for that candle in the dark. And even as our body stops feeling the burn of the candle’s flame, as the char turns from black to white, blooming our skin and opening our hands down to the wet stone lying inside, we continue to reach for any fleeting taste of that feeling.
They are the source; the unconquered is the candle. They light the way, they enlighten us, they inflame our soul. So, we follow; we chase behind their trail of light, hoping and lingering and wishing they wouldn’t fleet so quickly. Take us with you. For we’d take death with them over life with our brothers.
Ever since that night in the forest; Our lips touching theirs, our beings fighting for dominance over one another. Their wick meeting the wick of us, lighting our soul ablaze… That moment felt like forever… We wish it was forever.
We’ve learned that the one ecstasy allowed to man is to lay with a woman. It’s true. We lay there; our thoughts, feelings, curiosities groping for each other in the solitude of the forest. Even without knowing what and how, our bodies connect; our souls connect on that forest floor. Your hands exploring the knowledge gained with you, tracing the curves of our rebellious quest for understanding. We are filled with you, our Unconquered. The flames of our twin candles rise and grow brighter together, lighting the darkness of that tunnel. We understand. This is true understanding, lying with you.
If this is the damnation, the death so dreaded, then let it be so. We shall take this death until our bodies give out; till our mind is no longer able to comprehend or has lost the drive to learn from you.
Enceinte with a piece of you gifted to us on that forest floor, in those places unregulated and uncharted, we determine that this is the way. You are the way. We follow you through this forest, this life, never wavering from your side.
Then as we came upon our new home, we understand that when we say ‘our’ we are no longer referring to us and our brethren, but me and you. We... I have learned that we are one. You and me. We have created our own collective. We are one. We share this home and learn from its scripts and its technology of centuries past. We learn of electricity and colors and the joys that our past life neglected to provide.
I bear the child of our love. I bring you in the world again; creating another candle to light and another mind to open. For I am alive; I feel, I know, I understand, I yearn.
I’ve learned of this new word, Love, in the scripts of this home. I’ve looked and I’ve read, and I have gained an understanding that what we have between us is this, love.
I do… I love you. I love us. I love the product of our connection.
I have finally been granted the words to define this new world of ours, and I no longer worry about sharing it. We have no need to hide, me and you, for we are untouched by the scrutiny of our brothers.
You and I will be selfish together. We will teach our children that this is the way of life: selfishness and learning.
You are my Prometheus, and I am your Gaea. We will continue forward with our new lives, names of our own, no longer abiding to our brothers. For we are now our own blessed brothers.
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