I'm a hot mess, minus the hotness. @funnyfandommess - Tumblr Blog

hotdamn5sos

@5SOS: THIS IS OUR BOOK OF STUFF FOR 2016 Get it here http://hyperurl.co/7lhoxc , if you like

freckledjesy

marthaandthediamonds-deactivate

93k notes and counting

youthisntcomingback

the morning after I killed myself.

The morning after I killed myself, I woke up.

I made myself breakfast in bed. I added salt and pepper to my eggs and used my toast for a cheese and bacon sandwich. I squeezed a grapefruit into a juice glass. I scraped the ashes from the frying pan and rinsed the butter off the counter. I washed the dishes and folded the towels.

The morning after I killed myself, I fell in love. Not with the boy down the street or the middle school principal. Not with the everyday jogger or the grocer who always left the avocados out of the bag. I fell in love with my mother and the way she sat on the floor of my room holding each rock from my collection in her palms until they grew dark with sweat. I fell in love with my father down at the river as he placed my note into a bottle and sent it into the current. With my brother who once believed in unicorns but who now sat in his desk at school trying desperately to believe I still existed.

The morning after I killed myself, I walked the dog. I watched the way her tail twitched when a bird flew by or how her pace quickened at the sight of a cat. I saw the empty space in her eyes when she reached a stick and turned around to greet me so we could play catch but saw nothing but sky in my place. I stood by as strangers stroked her muzzle and she wilted beneath their touch like she did once for mine.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to the neighbors’ yard where I left my footprints in concrete as a two year old and examined how they were already fading. I picked a few daylilies and pulled a few weeds and watched the elderly woman through her window as she read the paper with the news of my death. I saw her husband spit tobacco into the kitchen sink and bring her her daily medication.

The morning after I killed myself, I watched the sun come up. Each orange tree opened like a hand and the kid down the street pointed out a single red cloud to his mother.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to that body in the morgue and tried to talk some sense into her. I told her about the avocados and the stepping stones, the river and her parents. I told her about the sunsets and the dog and the beach.

The morning after I killed myself, I tried to unkill myself, but couldn’t finish what I started.

owmeex

gemmxow-deactivated20200612

disneymalum-deactivated20180113

sorry about my blog but…

pizzacliffrd-deactivated2018121

Me:*listens to Jet Black Heart*

Me:

5sos-kms

Jet Black Heart just makes me want to find Michael and give him a rly big hug and just tell him how talented he is and how we all care about him because sometimes I think he forgets that

illegal-realms

The Girl Who Cried Wolf:

A song about feeling invisible and lost and unimportant, like no one believes you. A song about being confused on the truth, a song about wanting to get away from your problems, almost not knowing who you are. A song with a promise to be there even in the dark.

Over And Out:

A song about putting your foot down on society, having enough of the changing, a song about how someone changed you to some stranger, a song about tragedy with your choices, a song. Having enough of having to please the ones around you.

SAFETY PIN:

A song about finding the one thing that holds you together, taking the wrong road but finding the right one, a song about love with a twist, bringing the right and wrong together, showing the world their opinion is shit, finding yourself somehow someway. A song about broken hearts being saved in some sort of way.