moved to balkanradfem

@furiousradfem

4,666 posts

Some pictures from the house:

warning: this is romanticizing, there's plenty around that looks like ruins and a mess, I purposely picked out pretty details like the vines and a flower bouqet on a window. But I am also focusing on things like that irl and indulging sunsets and plants to the fullest, so while this isn't a good representation of the reality, it does represent my view of it!

Updates on the house situation, in the form of pros and cons!

Pros:

while trying to unpack a box yesterday evening, I noticed the sunset outside is stunning red and purple. I got out and climbed up the hill, then watched the sun set behind the mountain. Pleasant breeze was blowing, I was in comfy clothing, sitting on the grass; I didn't know it was possible to feel that good. I believe I achieved the best feeling a human can experience.

This morning I found out my potatoes actually came out of the soil! They were covered with hay so they're very pale but alive! And two tiny weak tomato plants are struggling to get sun. I have a garden you gyns!!

I learned to use the sickle; I did a lot of wrong movements but never got hurt. Using it right is soo satisfying. Since I'm holding all the grass I cut in my hand, I was able to pick out all the flowers, and make a beautiful bouqet for my kitchen with mint, yarrow and thistle. It smells so good.

My lemon tree is doing great, looks amazing in the sun.

The weather is so good right now, it might rain so we are getting clouds, breeze and overcast moments, such a good rest from the heat wave.

Cons:

Since I packed clothing and kitchen stuff together, in order to unpack I actually need to put together the entire kitchen, so I can put my stuff in the cupboards. Putting a kitchen together required for me to get rid of a couch, clean under the linoleum, and arrange the stoves and furniture. Even if that sounds like 3 tasks it turned into many.

I found animal feces behind the couch. Cleaned that first. No clue what animal. Didn't look healthy.

I stuffed the bad couch into the pigsty, cleaned the frame to turn it into an extra bed and then started cleaning the cement floor under the linoleum. While I was cleaning I bumped into an open window with my head, pushed it out of its hinges and it fell on me

I saved the window by staying calm, grabbing it and putting it back. Didn't get hurt! But it was a shock.

I discovered I also had ants. Red ones. In my kitchen. Ah well. Everyone is welcome I guess.

Half of the linoleum is wet underneath. Might be my fault when I washed it last time. Oops. Its so bad I had to stop everything and leave to allow linoleum to dry. Its already starting to look moldy. I hope it dries.

Most of my clothing smells like mold so I can't just put it away, it needs to be exposed to sun to kill the mold. It's going to take weeks to cure it all.

Lots of plants didn't survive the move, got dried up or just damaged a lot. I'm helicoptering around them, moving them to shady or filtered-sun areas because they never saw direct sunlight, it could kill them. I hope they make it. This is a lot for them.

I tried to explore the attic, saw the floor is covered in wasp nests. Dipped out of there. I don't need to fix that one missing tile in the roof. Its fine. It rarely rains during summer.

Tried to fix the blinds, saw a live wasp nest filled with wasps. Ran away.

Overall: I'm super happy and excited! I think animals using my house like its the outside means its well adjusted with nature and we are living in symbiosis except when wasps scare me and make areas of my house unavailable to me. Whats a good pro of wasp and ant presence in the home?

I moved!

All my stuff is at my house, the plant lady helped me by move it by car. I've been packing for a week but still had to wake up at 4am to get it all finished and cleaned at the very last minute. Anxiety over stuff not fitting, forgetting to pack something or just how much there is to do, has been eating away at me for weeks.

Now I've packed, boxed, carried, stuffed, and dragged all the boxes, bags, tools and furniture in, I am done doing things. My stuff is here, I survived the move, everything is fine. I have my own cozy matress and I can sink into it indefinitely. I don't have to be anywhere, nobody is going to rush me, criticize me or tell me I need to unpack soon. I'm in my house and everything is here. I no longer have to get up.

Or, so I thought. As I've been happily typing this, I heard someone Open my Front Door and get In. I froze so bad, tried to imagine it was an animal, but then heard footsteps. My heart pounding in panic, I went to see whats going on, and as I was about to turn the corner I heard 'Well are you there?'

It was my beloved neighbour who I like, and who is welcome to my home, but to just open the door and get in is crazy behaviour. She said she grabbed the door handle to see if it was locked, because if it was locked it meant I wasn't here. It opened so she just proceeded to enter. I told her she scared me to death and I needed a minute to slow my heart rate down. First day in and I thought I was dealing with an axe murderer. I told her to knock the next time. I get scared of knocking too, but this? Way worse.

I sat down with my neighbour and we had a lovely chat, I was actually so pleased to receive a guest! I showed her my plants I took with me, and we compared gardening methods.

I had received, as a gift from the plant lady, a gas and a wood stove, so I'll be able to cook inside from now on, which is way more easy so I am feeling relaxed and happy about my survival prospects. Other people I left in the city also gifted me some groceries because they understood my plan was to just "wing it". So I'm actually doing great, even though nothing in my first garden sprouted, due to the dry weather.

I also had some emotional farewells in the city. A long term friend asked to see me one last time, and I wrote her a goodbye letter. We hugged so much and both left each other with gifts. Some people called me to wish me the best and ask if they can visit.

Hearing people say they'll miss me made me feel emotional too. Maybe people liked me more than I thought? I was touched and appreciated it. I feel I left on good terms with everyone and maybe people like me.

Now the first day is survived, I can dive into pure relaxation and enjoyment. Or so I think. The neighbour thinks I need to focus on fixing the hole in the ceiling and remove the wasp nests from my attic. I think these can wait indefinitely and I should just grow some plants in lil pots on my window, unpack one bag a week and be lazy and indulgent. And hey. It's my house.

I can do whatever I want.

i hope it's pk to ask, how much did your house cost? i'm croatian and sometimes go looking for houses on sale that are affordable, so i was curious what your experience was

I think it's safe for me to say because it's not on the market anymore. I was looking at houses costing about 6-8k euro, and only the long abandoned ones in very remote areas, you couldn't get a livable house for that. Most of them had big issues like walls cracking pretty bad, roofs starting to fall in, cracked foundations, not enough workable land, dried up well, water damage or insides in such bad state you couldn't possibly stay there.

The house I got was 10k, it was over my budget, but it had a functional well and good foundations and roof. The walls have issues but are not actively caving in. It has no plumbing, no kitchen or bathroom. I had to pawn stuff in order to get it but I'm happy with my decision.

More regular houses I've seen while looking were all over 30k so what I got is pretty rare! I imagine if you're an american and reading this, the numbers sound impossible and made up; I'm sorry your housing market is like that. And again, this only worked because the house was 10+ years abandoned, in a village where most of the population is dead or very old, and the house lacks pretty much everything.

Good luck with your search anon! I hope you find the perfect one for you.

ok i forgot about this but I found this comically large object behind a couch. I know what it is, but why would anyone need this giant one?

Feminism changing the collective mindset

I mostly watch women's content online, and in the last two years I've felt a noticeable shift in the collective opinions about m*n. I think women have finally come to a point where the anecdotes, stories from their lives and their friend's lives and all of the reddit women and all the women online in general, have shifted their view of m*n into 'dangerours, liar, potentially violent, misogynistic, exploitative, and most of all, cringe'. Which is the reflection of reality, m*n have proven to be exactly that!

I can't say if it's radical feminism, or if enough women finally shared what they've been put through, for all women to start internalizing this and acting accordingly. I'm seeing women actively discouraging other women from getting a boyfriend or a husband, warning them viscerally against getting pregnant and telling absolute horror stories about what will become out of their life. I'm seeing videos of adult women openly talking to teenagers, explaining why adult m*n are not an ideal match for them, why they're being rejected by all women their own age. I'm seeing women warning other women against onlyfans, giving them red flags for narcissists and sociopaths, pointing out all vulnerabilities of being a 'stay-at-home' wife and encouraging young women to speak up and fight for their own careers, money, property.

There was an article that made me laugh, named 'Is having a boyfriend cringe now?', which described women seeking online influence actively hiding their boyfriends from the public because they knew they would lose respect and popularity with their female audience knew they were involved. M*n have gathered enough ill will with the women that even being in contact with one is seen as a lack of self respect.

I haven't seen a lot of how m*n have reacted to this, other than playing the victim in the situation and acting like women are bullying them, but there's nothing they can do if the public opinion of what is reality is already set and confirmed by millions of women. The gaslighting won't work if we have backup!

Lately I've even seen women openly refusing to be blackmailed by their children, and letting their ex-husbands take the child if it means she gets peace from all the abuse. I feel awful for the children (which husbands don't even want in most cases) but it is a powerful blow back to all the m*n attempting this, are they going to keep attempting it if it repeatedly doesn't work, and women just walk away? I think if m*n are aware they're not gaining any power by threatening to take the kids, they're going to stop trying it.

I feel like we're doing exactly what we'd set up to do, raising consciousness, giving other women the 'heads up' for having any male in their lives, and opening their eyes to the social injustices and power imbalance we're forced to live in. Once every woman is aware of this, it becomes much harder for m*n to get their way, to trap or enslave them. They are forced to go for younger and younger women who still want male attention, but young women are all on the internet now, and if they keep seeing women as a collective calling older m*n cringe and disgusting, they will learn it's a source of disgust, not approval.

I'm pleased with how far we've come! I do think it's because m*n forgot women can use internet to communicate, and we did just that. I know I might be missing on a lot because I'm only watching women-made content, and there's a lot of spaces where no female perspective is being represented, but now there is a space, where a woman can go and enjoy a female perspective. We didn't use to have that. I love you public speaking women, love you female youtubers, love you female storytellers and experience sharers. You did this for us.

I had to go back to the city to finish up my work, say bye to my clients, and get my stuff! I handed in my 2 weeks notice without even thinking about it twice, and now I can't believe I'm about to be job-free, just like that. Every time I catch myself thinking something like 'oh I have to make sure I don't stain these pants with dirt, I need them for my job!' I can stop myself and go 'I don't have to do anything. I can go directly into dirt with any pair of pants I own.' That's freedom.

People have told me I'm being crazy because I don't even have savings and my plans for survival are very vague from this point on, but I know I'm doing well, and am perfectly competent. Come on now. I have a house.

I visited the 'old things market' to get myself some tools I need, here's what I got!

A hammer with the nail-removing part, a hand saw, and a sickle! I removed the rust from the hand saw and the hammer, but I didn't touch the sickle because it was incredibly sharp. The guy selling it to me was concerned I was going to cut myself with it (and I almost did), so before handling it, I watched 5 videos of 'how to use a sickle'. I don't feel confident I won't cut myself.

I got it because I intend to grow wheat and other cereal crops, but I realized immediately I can cut grass with this. I don't need to get a scythe, I can just grab this thing and go to town. The plant lady told me I got the wrong hand saw, because what I need it for is cutting old tree branches on my property, and this is apparently for wooden boards? Oops. But it's better to have something than nothing and I got it for 2 euros. I've never touched a hand saw before or knew what kind I need, I just went snooping on the market for stuff. The hammer I need for taking out thousands of nails from the boards I have on my property, to make my life slightly safer. I stepped on a nail pretty bad last week, it's healing okay but I'm going to visit my doctor about it as well.

I miss my house! Every day I wake up in the city I'm like, wow this is truly unbearable. Neighbours are noisy and yelling, housemates are slamming doors and leaving the front door unlocked, I have 2 meters of living space and everything stinks of mold. My laundry won't dry. I have to travel 25 minutes to see my garden. No idea how I lived like this.

I'm saying bye to my garden, it wasn't my intention to leave it just as food is coming in; I was originally going to leave in early spring. Ah well. I'll come back once in the fall just to grab all the stuff I want to move to my new garden: strawberries, asparagus, chives, magi, chamomile, lemon balm, and small peach and cherry trees I have growing on my compost pile. I can't do it now because the ground is too hard and dry, the chance of it breaking or drying out is too high. I'm actively gathering seeds for any kind of tree and fruit tree I can find, in order to plant it on my property. I found a maple seed the other day, it's so spiky! I decided to plant a small forest on my property despite the dangers and the warnings, nothing can come between me and the trees.

Fixing the walls

So the walls in my house have a lot of damaged areas, some where the plaster fell off on its own, and some where the ex owners started hammering it down and then never came back to fix it. I can see the big areas of wall separating and falling apart from the bricks. When I knock on the walls, it feels hollow, disconnected. So that's not great.

For now I only want to fix the holes in the plaster, and I've started some experimenting with a mix of clay and the powder created by the rubble on the floor. I've managed to cover a damaged area with a rough mix, and after it dried, smoothed it out with clay alone to create new plaster. This wasn't perfectly even or smooth, but I don't have a problem with that, I'm partial to enrichment of bumpy clay walls.

Since I've worked with clay before, I know it shrinks with drying, so it was going to crack in the drying process. I waited for it to happen, and then smoothed it out with some water. The result was nice! When I tried knocking on the repaired part, it wasn't hollow, it was proper firm wall-knocking sound.

Then I wondered, is it really that easy, can I just fix my walls with just my hands, using clay and remains of the plaster, because at this point it very much feelt so. Encouraged by my success, I continued repairing the more damaged areas in the same way:

I know this looks a bit ugly, and I do have some wall paint, so after this dries I'll try and cover it up. I feel like wall paint is a bit toxic and smells bad so it's a shame to put it over the nice smelling, perfectly healthy and natural clay. Would it be hostile to human guests if I just covered all my walls in clay and then refused to paint them? Like hello welcome to my house, I covered the walls in mud, I swear I'm normal. I just think it smells nice and feels nice to touch. We're not underground and I'm not a zombie.

I've found that most of things I learned in my life are suddenly extremely useful. If I hadn't learned to recognize clay and spent hours figuring out how to work with the wild clay, I wouldn't know how to use it on the walls like this. Learning how to neutralize the smell of old furniture, how to protect soil from drying out in heat, even how to keep your space nice and cold during a heat wave, it's all coming together and making my life easier. I feel like I've done well gathering knowledge and experiences! Even though I have never tried to make or fix a wall; I did look at a tutorial but it was just 'buy these 3 ingredients, mix them and cover the wall in them' that isn't appealing. All these ingredients manage to be toxic to the environment, and I have a well, I can't be spilling anything toxic into the soil.

Rating of the old wooden closets I've found in the abandoned house!

This is a great closet; it has shelving, it has some hanging space for coats, it's good in size. I can keep my every-day clothing in there and maybe adjust it a bit for the seasons, I love it. 10/10. It doesn't have a functional handle but that's not its fault.

Shelves! This is the shelving space I've been dreaming of. I can keep my linens in here, my extra blankets, my yarn and craft supplies, big sweaters, paintings, there's no end to things that could fit in there. 11/10 I love shelving space so much. I was confused by the hanging stick up there, like what could be so tiny you would hang it above the first shelf? Then I realized it was there so you could, if you liked to, remove the shelves and use it as a hanging closet. I will not be doing that but I like that there's options. Also wish I knew where the bottom shelf was, I want more shelves.

3/10. Only one shelf and too high up. Can be used for winter coats and maybe some shoes. No variety, no fun, this is a one-use closet. Oh and I forgot that I put jesus in there. I threw it in there yelling 'see how you like being in the closet!' and closed the door. I thought I was hilarious.

How fancy am I to have real wooden closets? The old owners were going to throw these away for being 'old furniture', what a crazy thing to do! I've never had 3 closets all to myself. It feels luxurious.

What about the bathroom

If you were reading my latest posts, you know I purchased an abandoned house I intend to live in, and it doesn't have a kitchen, or a bathroom. So you might wonder, where do I go for bathroom stuff?

Let's start with the easy stuff, showering! I've already gotten used to not using a real shower. For a year now, I've been heating some water, putting it in a bucket and washing with that, I love it. However I couldn't really do it in the house, as there is no drain, floors would get wet and dirty. And outside, well. Illegal.

I looked around and realized I can do it in the shed. I'm sheltered from view, and the floor is ground. The water will evaporate. Showering in the shed felt amazing! You basically get completely naked in what feels like outdoors and then pour a lot of water on yourself, it's freeing, refreshing, feels like doing something crazy even though it's normal. The well water is freezing cold so it feels incredible in the heat. I'm happy with that solution for the summer, will think of something in the winter.

The property has a field toilet, and before you think that's weird and outdated, the neighbours also use a field toilet. So it's normal here. It is however, very old, and I just peeked in it once. It didn't look great, the sitting place was a styrofoam board with a hole in it. I decided not to use it.

My plan for a toilet was to build up a compost toilet, I had already picked a location, I'm just waiting to gather up enough bricks to put together a composting area protected from the animals. I also need to gather enough leaves and hay to make it into a proper composting pile; this also takes care of the smell. I've been reading 'the humanure handbook' and if what it says is true, composting can eradicate any pathogen and bacteria given enough time, and create the perfect fertilizer for the garden. I'm excited to try it.

The neighbours actually asked me about this, and I suggested the term 'composting toilet' to them, assuming they've never heard of it, but to my surprise, they told me they actually use all of the stuff from their field toilet for garden fertilizer. With one catch; they don't compost it first. They just gather the stuff in the fall and dig it into the soil. From what I've read that's not the ideal way to use it, because there's still going to be pathogens and bacteria harmful to humans, but it's also how they do it in some areas in asia, and it's kind of okay? In the way that there's more chances for infections, but most people do just fine. The neighbours were very proud of this and bragged about how beautiful their garden gets after getting so much nitrogen.

I was overall surprised people were doing that already; most of the stuff I learned online and thought were 'new smart methods of doing things' are just implemented here already. Even stuff I've never heard of, like building whole structures out of unbaked clay mixed with wheat husk! Nobody has heard of the 'no dig garden' though, and people are extremely skeptical of it, insisting I need some digging tools. They also see the tall grass as an enemy I need to be rid of asap, while I just see, nice grass, very enjoyable, 10/10. So we are having some disagreements about how to go about things, but it seems like a composting toilet will be received just fine.

Everyone in the neighbourhood expects me to mow the tall grass that grew there for years, and I don't wanna, don't have a tool to do it, and think wildflowers are great for all the bugs sticking around. Apparently there's snakes too!

But I will have to clear some of the area in order to plant something. I comfort myself in the knowledge there will still be plenty of tall grass left over, I won't completely destroy the bug ecosystem.

Inspired by my 'use the ground covered by a pile of wood to plant' scenario, I thought of a plan. What if instead of cutting grass, I use all those rotten boards to flatten and cover it. That way the bugs can just relocate where they like it best, it's not a violent action. The soil will receive some moisture from it, the grass will eventually die and become food to different types of bugs, turn to compost, and as the end result, I will have a perfect gardening space for my fall garden.

Inspired by this, I braved to finish unraveling the big pile of beams and boards, it was easier now because some of it was just getting dragged to the grass! Here's how much grass I covered:

I did step on a nail once, but since every board had like 7 nails sticking out and beams had 30 each, this went well. It didn't pierce deep into me and I'm vaccinated against tetanus so I feel fine.

Here's all the wooden beams I stored into the shed:

If you wonder why I put them together in this specific way, I learned to do it as a child but now I can explain why.

Putting a row of sticks inbetween rows of beams ensures that every beam has access to air, that means it's less likely to start rotting or spreading moisture in the structure. The second reason is weight distribution; every beam is putting weight on the sticks, holding them firmly in place and making sure the next row has a flat structure to lie on. As a result, this is stable and won't topple over, nothing can fall down on me, I can climb it safely and store other stuff on top. This is also a good way to store wooden boards you want to protect from rotting.

I did find a few wooden boards that aren't rotted yet, and could be used as shelving or maybe an outdoor table. I'm excited thinking about that! I don't have to use a hammer, I could just arrange bricks to hold them up. That way they're easily re-used too.

There's a lot more rubble to clean; looking at it from afar I assumed it was all bricks, but they looked yellow and dirty. I figured I'd just clean them. Once I climbed on top of the rubble, I grabbed a yellow brick and it simply fell apart in my hands.

It was not bricks. This ex barn was built using unbaked raw clay! Clay was mixed with wheat husks and shaped into bricks. I immediately got so excited, because I didn't know people used to do that, and how awesome is that. This means two things: one, I have a nearly unlimited supply of clay directly in my front yard, most of it brick shaped. Two, if I don't clear it before the rain, it's going to melt into the ground.

I'd rather not convert most of my soil into a clay area; even though it's better at retaining water than siga, it's still not the best for gardening, and it would take many years for wild plants to want to grow in it. It takes sturdy and deep roots to push through clay, most garden plants wouldn't manage it. It is good as an underlayer beneath the fertile soil, but imagine trying to remove all soil to install an underlayer? You can do it in a raised garden but it would disturb the ecosystem if done on a wider level.

I do want raised beds too but I have to take a year to figure out where plants like growing the best!

When I first entered my new house, the entry room was completely blocked with furniture. In their desire to renovate, the ex owners crowded all the furniture in there, and then never renovated except for making holes in the plaster. The furniture all remained stuck.

I didn't really know what the furniture was, except some looked like closets. I like closets, I like when they have shelving space.

It was on my third day I realized I had never even seen the entry room, I don't know how big it is or what the walls are like, due to the pile of furniture. So I started to pull things apart.

This is when I was met with the horrible recognition. I own 4 large, vintage, heavy, multiple elements connected, display case cabinets. Or how we call it, vitrine.

I had never liked them. I didn't like that they had glass in it. Or how many locked parts that I couldn't get my grabby little child filgers in. As an adult, I'm opposed to how huge they are. It's going to dominate any room you put it in by its sheer size. What I feel the most opposed is how heavy and difficult to move they are. It takes 100% of my power to move it half an inch, followed by dry heaving.

But, it's real wood furniture. It's heavy because it's quality wood. No part of it is plastic or badly made. Some have detailed decorated parts. They're all still in one piece, some looking unscathed because of how well made they are. It is quality furniture.

Since I barely moved some of it, and I cannot move them outside, I'm doomed to keep them from lack of other options. If anyone in croatia would like to travel to get one, you can have it. But you would need a truck, and 8 people who could pick it up and move it outside, one of which will die on the mission, flattened by the moster cabinet.

Okay now you've listened to my complaining, I'm going to share with you how to restore such old furniture so it no longer smells bad. You know how old houses get that 'old house smell' and no matter how you wash them it just doesn't get removed? I can remove it.

The old house smell is mostly lingering in all the wooden features. Walls can be cleaned, aired out and repainted, windows can be cleaned, but the wooden furniture retains it; it comes from mold that the wood absorbed. I learned this trick in my last rental because the old smell was so bad I couldn't breathe.

First you need to wash the wooden furniture throughly; for furniture as old as this I needed to do it 3 times. Then you mix 50%water and 50% vinegar in a small container, grab a clean cloth, dip in the solution so it's damp, and wipe thorougly. You have to reach every corner, behind every shelf, top and bottom. Then you leave it to air out for several days until all the vinegar evaporates.

The mold will get neutralized by vinegar and your furniture will smell neutral or pleasant!

If you wanna go a step further and remove any scratches on your furniture, and make it look shiny, mix oil+vinegar 50/50 in a small bowl, take a small cloth and rub it into scratches or damaged parts. It will darken them to the point of making it look undamaged.

I've decided to take out all the glass from the awful vitrinas and try to make a greenhouse out of it. What else would you expect from a plant lover with access to some glass.

Vitrinas look less awful when they don't have glass so that's two issues resolved. At that point it's just shelving space and I like shelving. I warmed up to the green vitrina because it's pretty and light in color so it doesn't brood over the room, and it's not so heavy I couldn't move it. She got restored first and is already in use. The rest of them,,, someone take them away please.

The 'big tree' issue.

So you might know that when I was planning what I'll have on my property, I planned all the big trees; oaks, chetnuts, willows, linden, I would have a whole park.

I was curious to notice that my whole property had zero big trees; in fact the only 'larger' trees were dried, rotten or felled. This means there is absolutely no shade from the sun in the afternoon! How could someone allow this, I wondered.

I talked to my neighbours, to see what they thought about me planting a nice willow at the front that would quickly grant both of us shade; they freaked out instantly.

'Absolutely not, no big trees, we had one in our yard and had to fell it or it would destroy our house.'

Oh, I realized, these people were old enough to see the full circle of life of trees and understood that all trees would eventually fall and threaten any structures nearby. 'Okay,' I said, 'but what if I put it over there?' I picked a spot decently away from both of our houses. 'Then it's going to tangle into the power lines,' the neighbour pointed out.

My heart fell. There were in fact, multiple power lines right where I was hoping to plant my tree. I wouldn't be allowed to plant anything over 4 meters tall in that entire area. But it was exactly where I needed some shade.

My property is a hill side, and it's set up so that the sun rises behind that hill. Then it scorches the hill the entire afternoon before setting behind a mountain. I wanted a tree at the bottom, so it would defend the bottom area against the worst of the afternoon sun; even garden plants falter during a heat wave if they get no shade whatsoever.

The only far-enough location I could plant a big tree in, is at the top of the hill, but then it would shade the entire property until 1am. And the morning sun is pleasant, not too hot, not too hard on the plants or myself, I don't want it blocked.

Well, the solution then could be to plant the big tree at the edge of the property, but wait, then it becomes a threat to all the neighbours and they're all going to demand I fell it before it grows into a giant.

Doesn't it suck to be an adult? It's not like oaks and chestnuts would grow huge during our lifetimes, the neighbours are all 60+ and wouldn't even see those trees mature. But they've had enough tree trouble to vehemently disagree with a tree that might at some point, be a problem to someone in 100 years. I don't care! If a tree falls on this house 200 years in the future I could not care less. It would give me shade and make my life better. Besides they can put it down before it becomes a problem.

But no, we all have to live based on trauma of these people who had to put one tree down and care about power lines and now I can't cause tree chaos. I can't have beef with the neighbours because they give me drinking water.

So now I don't know what to do. I have chestnut seedlings. They are so ready to go into the ground and it doesn't look like I have a place for them. Despite owning land!

I'd have to call a village meeting and ask everyone where they would all benefit from chestnut trees and if I can put them in someone's forest. This village has no chestnut trees so planting some would be beneficial for the whole community. But I don't feel like dealing with all these people so they can judge me for being a woman and whatnot, this sucks.

Maybe I'll just plant them on my property and wait for complaints.

One thing I had to accept quickly in the new house is bugs. There is, at any moment, going to be a wasp, a stinkbug, a fly, a mosquito, and plenty more stuff, in the room with me, and I have to be chill about it.

All these bugs did was fly at the windows, so I had no concerns. We were all going on about our business. Until a wasp stung me in the arm.

I was trying to push my blinds up at the time, and I didn't know why I got stung, so my feelings were hurt. I let them fly all over my house and they sting me. Ouch.

Next time I was pulling my blinds up, pieces of a wasp nest fell on my windowsill. 'Oh,' I thought, 'those lovely ladies were only trying to warn me their nest is up there! I wasn't paying attention and this was the only way to let me know. It wasn't personal, I was threatening their home!' I put the wasp nest piece outside on the windowsill and thought that was the end of it.

Few days later, two wasps stung me on my way to my well. I once again, failed to notice a big accumulation of wasps on my window. I looked at the nest I put out, but the wasps weren't going in there. They were climbing up my window, disappearing into the blinds and inbetween bricks.

Ok well this is a conflict of interest, I have to move the blinds every day to protect myself from the sun during the day, and air house out during the night. The wasps weren't complaining until just then, so maybe they're not home that often.

I would love to relocate their nest to another part of my property while they're not home, but I can't reach or find that nest. It might be stuck in the blinds or between the bricks. I can't be getting stung every day, I'm not allergic but a lot of bites would cause irritation.

Any solutions? I don't wish to harm the wasps, they're pollinators and welcome on my property. Just not in the blinds that I move and walk by every day.

Ok I need a vibe check on the people who sold me the house. They are in persistent contact with me and making me uncomfortable.

Sellers are two people maybe in their 50s or 60s, and their 23yo daughter. The house was in 23yo's name so she was signing the contract.

Both she and her parents told me a lot of uncoordinated lies, such as how they acquired the house (it was inherited, they lied they bought it for an inflated price) what the interest is (23yo claimed they already have a buyer, her father was annoyed they're not getting anywhere with selling it). After I confirmed with her on the phone that I am definitely buying it, for the asking price, she started sending me loads of weird messages on whatsapp.

"I'm gonna give you rides every day, I'll help you find a job, what do you do, I'm very charitable and love giving to others, I gave poor people food and money, I'll give you a kitchen and a stove I don't need them, I could fix you up with a job in my company" "I can make you feel like you have friends here"

I politely refused everything except stove, which I could really use if it's free. After signing the contract and giving them money, this pestering changed tone immediately but hasn't faltered!

"Do you want my father to mow the lawn," "No, thank you for offering" "Fine suit yourself."

"Do you want us to fix the lock?" "No, its too complicated" "Its not complicated at all but fine if you dont want it"

She started being annoyed with me for refusing, and then things turned stalkerish.

"I saw you cleaning are you at the house now?" "I saw you open the windows at night, close them there are snakes"

She's keeping tabs on me but why? I already paid her, the house is mine, I should do whatever I want without reporting it.

Then I told her there's some post for her in the mailbox, and offered to keep it open so she can pick it up. It took her 3 days even though apparently she lives nearby. When she arrived I politely let her into the yard, and warned her not to step on a big bug I was currently taking pictures of. She commented 'Now what have you found in the mail,' and after finding her post, paused to ask me if I knew what kind of bug that was. 'Some kind of scarab, I think,' I said because I read up on similar beetled earlier.

'It's like a scorpio,' she said, 'Look out, its going to bite you!'

I was bewildered, she was talking to me as if I'm a child. I'm 13 years older than her. She kept trying to convince me to fear this harmless bug, even though I practically had my face pressed against it, visibly unafraid. She even laighed as if she managed to spook me? I was petting the bug.

I am confused by all this and would like to know, is this comnon with house sellers? Are they doing this with some end goal in mind, pestering and offering favours and stalking. I know this isn't the 23yo's doing because she never bought or inherited that house, her parents used her name to evade taxes. (Young person acquiring her first property gets tax relief). I'm pretty sure everything she does is orchestrated by parents and she has little to do with it. I think they're telling her what to text me too.

They left the house in a bad state so I don't know if they're trying to look good by offering stuff? But then again, they installed a lock that doesn't work from the inside and the door handle fell apart completely, I can barely use the front door. So in my eyes: liars, manipulators, always doing the least, but also stalkers. I want them to give me that stove then leave me be.

Does anyone have experiences like this? What do you think these people want?

also the bug:

Ok this immediately got worse.

I needed to get to the town very early and since there's no public transport during summer, I elected to wake up at 3am and walk for 3 hours.

The second I got to the town, I get a text.

"Why didn't you ask me to drive you? Why are you walking?"

I freeze and look around. It's 5:30 am. I only ever saw two people, maybe heard one car. Nobody is around or in my line of sight.

"Hey, how do you know I'm walking?" I text back.

"I saw you in the town."

I can't figure out if she was in the only car that passed by, that sounds like a crazy coincidence.

"Well, it's okay to take a walk," I text back trying to hide how insane this is to me.

"Why didn't you come to have coffee instead of being alone?" she asks.

She never invited me to coffee or showed me where she lives.

"I wasn't alone, I was hanging out with neighbours."

"Which neighbours?"

At this point I just text her names bc I only have 4 neighbours in the entire street.

"Ok great then," she texts back.

Leaving me in utter horror that I can't walk on the street at 5am without her finding out and asking me to explain myself!

A few people responding to this post took a "true crime" line of thinking and now I'm starting to see it? She has to know reprimanding someone for seeing them on the street at 5:30am isn't normal. Also someone else reminded me that she has a husband, a child, and a job; you'd think she had other priorities than finding out why I had the nerve to walk around in the early morning.

What the hell.

Ok wait I have a theory. It's might not be extremely ominous.

Remember I said I found some of her post in my mailbox? I had no idea what it was, but one of it was a package, in a yellow envelope. I didn't study it a lot, but I noticed a sticker on it that said 'avon'.

I happen to know that avon is a MLM company, and while it might be something completely else, there is a chance that she did get a packet from a MLM, which would make her a MLM representative. Which in this context means that I, as a new person in town I would be a perfect target to try and recruit.

Maybe she wanted to give me favours so that when she pitches avon to me, I already owe her so much, or even worse outright rely on her, it would be rude of me to say no. And if you watch any MLM horror stories, you know that recruiters for MLMs throw all common sense out of the window and act in bizzare, disturbing and horrifying ways, so her stalking me and trying to force contact wouldn't be anything out of the ordinary.

If you're reading this and don't know what a MLM is, its a multi-level-marketing company that is basically a pyramid scheme that leeches money out of its own representatives and pays them to recruit more people to leech from. It makes people act wack and forcefully trying to recruit even when it's socially innapropriate or bizzare.

Avon on her post might have meant something else though, but I'd be calmed down by this explanation. You couldn't pay me to join a MLM so she's wasting her effort. I know too much.

Photos of the abandoned house!

Don't worry, I removed all symbols of christianity right away, I have standards.

me trying to be an intellectual: I understand some situations have nuance and it's not all black and white, there are circumstances to study.

me when somebody insults women: hissing, clenching fists, gritting teeth, gaining distance, blocking&reporting them, their friends and family

moved to balkanradfem @furiousradfem - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag