one day I’ll try to enter the UK and I’ll get flagged in the airport and the MI6 agent that has been watching me will take me into a small back room and make me read all the posts I’ve made calling for the destruction of the royal family and calling for Irish reunification and Welsh, Scottish, Manx and Cornish independence and also the ones where I say things like “what did English people drink before tea got there? hot piss?” and “weird that parliament just banned cousin marriage when they’ve been doing it for centuries” and “why are British men ruddy all the time? why do you look sunburned when there is no sun in your country?”
the agent will pretend he’s mainly upset about the royal family but it’s the sunburn one they will feel most deeply.
his face gets redder and redder the longer the interrogation drags on

















