[nostrem]

Oh to be some kind of small fantasy creature wearing a cloak held together by one huge button and carrying a sewing needle as a sword

[futuregoatfarmer]

i’ve reached the point of timing losing all meaning which is always a wild time. 

[58kill]

Hush. You Hear That?

That’s The Sound Of My Bones And Fibers Creaking And Groaning Like A Sailing Ship. Ok.

[lingrix]

ive never said 1 coherent thing in my life

[futuregoatfarmer]

i just spent a solid hour watching videos of alpacas to cheer myself up and i’m pleased to say it worked. 

[poinsciuri]

*rotates you by 90 degrees in the 4th dimension thus causing you to be perpendicular to time as we understand it*

[pglang]

this chapter of my life is called (damn bitch you sure you’re alright?)

[bakwaaas]

Do you have a hidden talent?

I don’t even have an unhidden talent

[futuregoatfarmer]

@thisishalloweenie consider this your formal invitation to all roast sessions that occur in the future

[c3rvida3]

Took a nap and had a dream that I’d gotten a hyperrealistic tattoo of a Band Aid, just so that I could cover it with a real Band Aid.

When people would ask what happened, I’d say, “It’s kind of weird. Are you sure you wanna’ see?” and then I’d dramatically rip the Band Aid off to reveal my tattoo of a Band Aid.

Classic Astral Plane Me.

[futuregoatfarmer]

i enjoy calling my friends and singing happy birthday to them horribly off key.

[black-cherry28]

My mind is like an internet browser. 17 tabs are open, 4 of them are frozen and I don’t know where the music is coming from.

[bob-belcher]

[serotnin]

[kultklassic]

I just alternate between ‘maybe I’m smarter than I give myself credit for’ and ‘maybe I’m dumber than I realized’

[futuregoatfarmer]

spending a saturday night watching gossip girl while yelling and chugging wine is the perfect way to spend some time. however you may feel a little rough the next day. might just be me though. 

[biff-donderglutes]

somebody: [tries to talk to me about literally anything]

Me: