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- HELP NIKKI!, N.F

“The universe is kind enough to give us only what we can carry. So what happens when Nkki wants something bigger than she can actually handle?”

warnings - No freaky!nikki ig, but she's just as obsessed with reader as Bear is with her. possessiveness? and everything you'd expect from the "Obsession" universe. defo oc!nikki i have too, at least a little :/

now playing - Step On Me, by The Cardigans

"You're free to have everything you can see. All that you want from me"

The bar was bustling as usual. The tables were too sticky to rest your hands on, and some of the people walking by always seemed to make a point of bumping into the table where Nikki was sitting. Ian was arguing about something silly with Sarah, talking too loudly for them to hear each other. Ever since he arrived, Bear hadn’t taken his eyes off Nikki. And Nikki—from the moment she saw that you hadn’t arrived with the rest of the group—hadn’t taken her eyes off the bar’s entrance.

Bear was fighting with himself; I mean, he had to say something, he HAD to say something now—this was his chance. Anything—just strike up a conversation. Talk about her hair. Talk about her eyes. Talk about her outfit. Talk about anything. His brain was screaming for something, and the moment he finally opened his mouth, a loud, shrill scream burst from Nikki’s lips.

Bear just blinked. Nikki had already stood up from her chair, spreading her arms wide as you approached the table. Ian rolled his eyes; Sarah smiled slightly at the interaction. Bear just lowered his head and mentally berated himself excessively.

“Damn it, why are you late?” Nikki’s voice came out slightly muffled, since her head was now buried in your chest.

“Yeah, why were you late?” Ian’s voice made you roll your eyes, flashing him the middle finger as you pulled away from Nikki’s arms.

You missed the way she looked at you, or the way her throat rose up and down quickly. But Bear noticed. Clearing her throat casually, Nikki smiled again, as if she hadn’t been slightly hurt by you pulling away from the hug too quickly, or as if she wasn’t curious about why you’d been late to quiz night in the first place.

“Fuck you, you asshole!" You gave Ian a light shove, your eyes darted quickly over the remaining seats, rolling your eyes at the realization that you’d have no choice but to sit next to Ian, but that you could still choose between Sarah and Nikki.

Your eyes quickly drifted to the woman who had been arguing with Ian just seconds ago. Her eyes sparkled slightly—it wasn’t noticeable to others, but it was noticeable to you. The small, shy smile playing at the corner of her mouth made her look kind of cute. Before you could even make a final decision, Freeman’s hand beside you grabbed your wrist, guiding you to the empty seat next to her and Ian.

“It’s okay, I forgive you for being late. As long as we win the quiz night.” Her smile made you smile. Nikki had a beautiful smile; you knew that.

Unlike the others, you didn’t meet Freeman in high school; elementary school was where the two of you really got to know each other. You got into a fight with some idiot who thought it was a good idea to knock over Nikki’s lunch during break time, and ever since then she’s clung to you like she clung to her crystals. You grew up together, building a little world just for the two of you before the rest of them came into your lives.

You don’t know how it happened, but you’d stayed around just because of Nikki. I mean, you weren’t really that close to the others, but you’d let them think they were close to you. Ian was a dick, period. Sarah was never a bitch or annoying to you—she was cool. You remember thinking it was nice to have another girl around besides Nikki—not because you didn’t like her, but you remember a strange feeling every time she was around. And Bear… my God, Bear was a creep. You remember when you got close to him; it was more out of pity than any real friendship. Over time, you started to find everyone a little disconnected—weird, to be more precise.

You were never really close friends with any of them besides Nikki, but after your school years flew by, it seemed that the more time you spent together, the more the strange aura surrounding Bear spread through the group, until it took you all in, one by one.

You were kind of tired of it all, but you still put up with everything for Nikki’s sake.

Your little sister, Nikki Freeman.

You knew it would be painful for both of you when you finally took that first step out of that town, but you knew Nikki’s dreams—you knew she’d understand you just as you understand her. You were going to tell her—you swore you would. But not tonight. At least not yet.

“I’m going to get some shots!” The fog of thoughts cleared when Nikki’s voice came back; she leaned in close to you as she spoke again. “Can you help me?”

“I…” You didn’t even have time.

“I’ll help you!” You didn’t exactly like the way Bear was looking at Nikki, so no matter how tired you were, you’d get up right then even if your legs wouldn’t work, just so you wouldn’t leave Nikki alone with that weirdo.

“Let’s go, the three of us.” Your voice sounded flat, almost as if you were challenging someone to say something.

Bear lowered his head and stood up without saying a word, following right behind Nikki while you stayed a little further back.

The night was a bit of a blur to you after that—laughter, replies, loud conversations. Everything seemed like one big nothing. Your head filled up too quickly, and maybe you were getting too old for this.

Your head seemed to empty completely when you and the others finally left the bar. The air you didn’t even know you were holding in was pouring out of your lungs the moment the night breeze hit your face. You didn’t even think twice before pulling the pack of cigarettes out of the back pocket of your jeans—only to have it snatched from your hand by the very same girl who’d spent her whole life telling you that smoking was bad.

“Hey!” Nikki didn’t even give you a chance to try.

“No. Come on, you know I don’t like it when you smoke.” She turned, looking at you while the others watched the exchange. “Besides, I don’t want to walk the whole way home with you smelling like cigarettes.”

“But I’m not going home!” Your eyebrows furrowed quickly, your feet took an unconscious step back, as you stood between Sarah and Bear. “I want to go to karaoke!”

“Wow, you’ve definitely had too much to drink.” Nikki rolled her eyes. “Can you please drop me off at home? Please, I’m so tired!”

“Nikki...” You tried, oblivious to the glances Ian, Sarah, and Bear were exchanging.

“Please!” she insisted again.

“I’ll take you!” When Bear’s voice cut through your little argument, it was as if all the alcohol in your body had vanished into thin air.

You could have sworn your pupils returned to normal, and you felt a chill run down your spine at the mere thought of leaving Nikki alone with Bear. It was terrifying to you, and even though you never knew for sure why, Nikki always told you not to ignore your gut feelings—whether they were good or bad.

“No.” The silence that followed was almost excruciating. But you didn’t back down, at least not when you saw a faint smile appear on Nikki’s face. “I’ll take her. Fine, you win, okay!”

Nikki gave you a sarcastic smile, muttering a “Thank you” that made you roll your eyes playfully.

You saw her turn to quickly thank Bear. You twirled the keys between your fingers, glancing at the two of them out of the corner of your eye—only for your attention to be drawn to Sarah when you felt her hand on your bicep.

“You’re really not going?” Her voice was low, and you sighed softly.

You’d already promised her you would go; you remember exactly her asking you to stay longer than just quiz night when you left work together. You hated having to do this.

“I can’t leave her alone,” you muttered, impatient with the whole situation.

“She wouldn’t be alone, and you know it.” Sarah’s tone made you lower your guard a little.

“Come on, Sarah. I promise I’ll go next time,” you tried, only for her to shake her head slightly.

“Forget it,” she said, looking away from you. “You always do this when it comes to Nikki.”

Sighing—for what felt like the umpteenth time that night—you glanced quickly toward where the Freeman girl was standing, only to see Bear handing her a small red box. Shaking your head, you looked back at Sarah, who was still standing there with her arms crossed.

“Hey, how about this…” Your hands moved toward her arms, making her uncross them and look at you. “I’ll drop her off at home and meet you and Ian there—is that okay?” Your words were like a sea of roses to the woman in front of you.

Sarah smiled, looking at you again before hugging you tightly. Your hands wrapped around her waist, guided there as if you’d known the way for a long time.

“All right, let’s go, Yn.” Nikki’s voice made you two pull apart. And soon car doors were slamming, tires were rolling, and before you knew it, you were already in the middle of the road with Nikki by your side.

The radio was playing some slow song from the late-night lineup, and you drove in silence while listening to Nikki talk about whatever came to mind. You scolded her so she’d buckle her seatbelt and told her three times to take her foot off the glove compartment, making her roll her eyes at you and call you a buzzkill. And then, amid all the chaos she always seemed to create when she was around you, she stopped. She stared at her fingernails as if gathering the courage to tell you something.

“I… wanted to tell you something,” she murmured.

“I know,” you replied.

“You know?” The surprise in her voice made you laugh softly, leaning forward gently while trying not to take your eyes off the road.

Nikki loved your smile; she hated being like this around you—so vulnerable—but she couldn’t help it, especially when you were this close to her. It was almost as if you were a character she’d written, someone she’d dreamed of having her whole life. She hated loving that feeling; she knew she was going too far. Her characters looked like you; she imagined your smile, your eyes, your features, and it was simply ridiculous how she never let you read anything she wrote because she was so afraid you’d notice.

She could never get very far with the story she was trying to create for them.

“I mean, you’ve been standing there for over five minutes without saying a word. Either you’re having a stroke or you’re just trying to soften the blow of the bombshell you’re about to drop on me.” The playful tone in your voice made her laugh softly, though she didn’t completely forget the weight on her chest. “So, what is it?”

“I’m thinking about quitting. Quitting my job once and for all, you know.” Her voice was low, and as the words came out of her mouth, her eyes remained fixed on you.

You didn’t say anything, finally pulling up in front of Nikki’s house and parking the car. Your hands reached for the key, turning it and shutting off the engine with a smooth, gentle motion. Leaning back in your seat, you finally looked at her, and for the first time in her life, Nikki didn’t know what that look meant.

“Damn." That’s all you said. “Do you want to keep writing? Like, officially this time?” You’d supported Nikki’s passion from the start, and you were happy to hear her say that.

“That’s the plan.” She nodded affirmatively, looking away from you and staring awkwardly straight ahead.

Furrowing your brow for a moment, you tried to figure out why she seemed so strange right now. As if your reaction wasn’t exactly what she’d expected.

“Hey, I think that’s really cool, Nikki.” Your hand reached for hers—which was resting on her thigh—grasping it firmly, seeking to offer her comfort.

Freeman’s eyes sparkled, and she felt a shiver run down her spine the moment you touched her. Your hand easily covered hers; it was warm and slightly calloused. Even so, she felt that they fit together perfectly.

“You know I’ll always have your back, right?!” Your voice was softer, as if you wanted her to feel safe. “I mean, I’ll always be by your side, no matter where you go!”

Smiling slightly, Nikki looked up from your lap, gazing at you with tenderness and confidence. You had a way of making her feel that way—it was almost like some silly spell she always seemed to fall for.

“I love you.” The words came out of her mouth as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Never, ever, not even in a million years, would Nikki Freeman have dreamed of saying that to anyone. But with you, everything was easier; it was poetic; it was unconditional. With you, love felt more real; it felt like it could exist; it felt like it could finally be written into her story.

You smiled, and it was as if time had stopped for Nikki. The way you looked at her with such pride was like an arrow piercing her chest—in the most insanely good way possible. She smiled back, tears beginning to well up in her eyes; it felt as though everything around them was working together to make this the perfect moment—the beginning of a real story.

“I love you too, Nikki.” For a split second, her heart stopped. Her smile widened, and she almost lunged toward you. “You’re my little sister! I’ll always support you.”

And then, Nikki swore the universe had smashed your car window and started banging her head against the glove compartment. Little sister? Hell no.

“Sure…” Her smile faltered slightly, though not enough to be noticeable. “Thanks.”

Pulling her hand out from under yours, the Freeman girl grabbed her purse and yanked the car door handle so fast that you almost asked if she was okay again.

“Thanks for the ride.” The car door slammed, and she turned quickly, walking toward the door as if you’d just told her she had some contagious disease. “See you tomorrow!” she shouted from a distance, slamming the door shut right after and leaving you utterly confused.

You didn’t know what you’d done to make her act that way, you didn’t know if you’d said something wrong—something she didn’t want to hear. You didn’t know that Nikki, the girl you’d called your sister just minutes ago, was starting to slide down the front door of her house in the most dramatic and melancholic way possible.

She covered her face with her hands the moment she finally sat down on the floor. Her legs felt like jelly, and her whole heart was beginning to shatter silently. She hoped you’d support her; in a perfect world, she even hoped you’d ask where she was going and offer to follow her wherever she was headed.

She was crazy. She knew it; she’d shake her head as she repeated to herself that she was losing her mind—all because of you. Nikki had never been that kind of girl—for anyone—except for you. It was as if you’d poured poison from head to toe; her heart would fill with hope the moment you walked into the room and drain away again when you left.

She was a lost cause.

Nikki ran her hands through her hair, brushing the messy strands away from her face. Without even getting up off the floor, she slipped her jacket over her shoulders, when suddenly she felt as if she were sitting there, partially suffocated by everything that touched her skin. She was ready to sink back into a pool of melancholy and drama, but the sound of the little red box that Bear had given her before you left fell out of her jacket pocket, making its presence known as if the universe were mocking her.

“You can make a wish. . . at least that’s what it says on the box. . .” She recalled Bear’s words, remembering also how he’d seemed nervous and far too embarrassed for his own good.

She laughed sarcastically, mentally cursing Bear for being such an idiot that he didn’t even know how to buy a gift for the girl he had a crush on. My God, she thought he was pathetic sometimes, but he still seemed like a nice guy to her, despite all his weirdness. To tell the truth, Nikki even tried to stay closer to him than necessary at times, because she loved seeing how protective you became when he was acting really strange around her.

It made her smile.

“What a stupid toy, Baron!” she muttered, picking up the box and twirling it between her fingers to read the instructions.

She opened the box carelessly—quickly and without any delicacy, to be more precise. The sound the box made when she pulled the stick out made her roll her eyes, before she glared at the stick as if it were her personal enemy.

It might have just been her imagination, but the air seemed heavier now, a weight settling on Nikki’s chest as if everything she’d been keeping to herself all this time were about to burst out of her like a demon being scolded and burned with holy water. It felt as if something inside her was screaming for her to say the words out loud, just screaming for her to ask for help, and then, whatever it was that the universe was putting inside her would help her.

“Fuck it.” Gripping the stick tighter, Nikki sighed before staring at it one last time. “I wanted Yn to love me the same way I love her!”

The stick snapped with a low click, and the room remained unchanged. Nothing happened, and the crickets chirping outside seemed to be laughing at her in the cruelest way possible.

But the weight was gone.

“FUCK!” Nikki’s scream was followed by a quick leap away from the door.

Someone was outside, pounding on it as if they were about to die if they didn’t get in soon. The Freeman girl scrambled quickly away from the doorway as the pounding began to intensify. Should she call the police? What the hell is this? It was way too late for anyone to be pounding on someone’s door like this.

“Nikki? Come on, I know you’re in there.” And then she stopped.

Recognizing the voice immediately, the black-haired girl got up off the floor for the first time since she’d walked through the door, walking toward the pounding before flinging the door open.

You were standing there, fist in the air, ready to knock again. You were wearing the same clothes you’d had on at the bar, your hair slightly damp from the rain that was starting to wet the asphalt outside. Nikki hadn’t even noticed it was raining.

“Yn? What are you doing here?” Her question was enough to make you smile, before your face took on a sad expression—which was clearly feigned.

“Don’t leave, please,” you whispered, and it was as if everything had come to a standstill around Nikki. “At least not without me.”

“What are you talking about?” Her voice was uncertain, and you quickly stepped inside the house without even waiting for an invitation.

Your hands grabbed hers, pulling her into her own home as you closed the door as if nothing was out of the ordinary. You were strong enough to put Nikki wherever you wanted, but you weren’t exactly using force, since she’d been practically orbiting around you from the moment she noticed the look on your face.

You made her sit on the couch while you knelt in front of her. Your hands were still clasped around hers as you let them rest on Nikki’s thighs.

“I’m saying I’m tired of acting like everything you do doesn’t affect me, Nikki!” Your voice was practically a prayer to her, as if you were praying to a deity to bless you with all her love. “Nikki, I’ve loved you forever. I knew it the day I saw you, the day you stood up for me in the school cafeteria.”

The words that came out of your mouth made the woman sitting across from you frown. The weight on her chest was gone, but a thread still seemed to hang from her chest, connecting to someone else’s chest.

“Yn, you stood up for me in the cafeteria!” Nikki retorted, letting go of your hands to place hers on your face. “Are you okay?”

“Nikki, you know what I meant. Come on, I’m freaking out here!” Your hands reached for hers, taking her hands in yours again before bringing them to your chest. “Can’t you see how hard I’m struggling to tell you what I’ve always wanted to get off my chest?

“You told me not to leave...”

“Don’t go! And if you do, don’t leave me alone. Take me with you, Nikki.” Even though the rain was pelting your body, you were still hot—too hot for someone who had been almost shaking just a few seconds ago.

“I still don’t get it...”

“Nikki, you’re the only reason I’ve stayed in this shitty town all this time! I want more! I want more with you, Nikki. I love you!” Freeman’s eyes were fixed on you. How was it possible that you were feeling everything she’d been feeling all this time? “I’ve lived all this time with a weight on my chest, and I just want it to go away. No matter how!”

Your words echoed in Nikki’s mind as if they were on repeat all the time. The feelings you were expressing were everything she’d been feeling inside for years. It couldn’t be that similar, right? Her eyes drifted slightly toward the red box lying on the floor; the stick was still broken, and the evidence of a stupid desire was still there.

That didn’t work.

It didn’t stand a chance.

It was just a damn toy!

“No! Look at me, Nikki. Because I’m pouring out everything I’ve spent years writing about you right now! Tell me I’m not the only one! Tell me—do you love me the way I love you?!”

You were there, more vulnerable than ever, on your knees before Nikki, hoping she felt the same way you did. That wasn’t the result of some stupid desire for a useless toy. That was years and years of connection and hidden love. You both felt the same way, and Nikki would never give credit to a fucking stupid toy.

You loved her, just as she loved you.

“Of course I love you. I feel exactly the same way.” Her hands gently cupped both sides of your face. The kind of tenderness Nikki would never share with anyone but you.

Your eyes sparkled as if they held stars within them; you’d finally done it. Nikki had done it. The two of you were on the same page, having fooled yourselves all this time when you could have been together.

“Nikki...” You moved closer.

“Hmm.” Her eyes wandered between your eyes and your lips.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Do you want to kiss me?” Her fingernails traced the nape of your neck, and she laughed softly as she felt you shiver at her touch.

“More than anything in the world!” Your tongue swept across your lips, moistening them as the two of you got closer and closer to breaking that barrier.

“Go ahead, pretty girl.”

You didn’t wait for her to say it again, breaking down the barriers you’d both been longing to break. You’re not sure exactly how long this feeling had been in your heart, or how long your subconscious had hidden it from you. But Nikki’s lips were just as soft as you’d imagined. Her tongue explored your mouth as if she wanted to memorize every detail, and every movement made you melt.

Your hands gripped her waist like a lifeline, and your brain felt like it was about to short-circuit. You’d always wanted to kiss Nikki, hadn’t you? You were doing it now. Kissing Nikki, your best friend, Nikki. Had you always wanted to kiss Nikki this badly? Why had you never kissed her before? Her hands seemed to be everywhere.

You wanted to kiss her more.

Did you want to kiss her?

You’re already kissing her.

Why are you kissing her?

WHY ARE YOU KISSING NIKKI?

“FUCK! ” Your lips pulled away from Nikki’s as if she’d just shot you in the chest.

Your hands slid off her waist faster than when you’d put them there, and the woman you’d been kissing just a moment ago was now cowering in fear on the couch, staring at you with the most genuine look of fear and confusion in the world.

“What the fuck, Nikki?” Your breathing was ragged, and your hands were trembling slightly.

“What are you talking about?” Her voice was high-pitched, and you were clearly scaring her.

Stop scaring her, you idiot!

“I… I don’t know.” You stammered. Kneeling down again as you tried to approach her slowly once more. “I thought I saw something behind you.”

Getting up from the floor, you finally allowed yourself to sit on the couch, letting yourself sit next to Nikki.

“Damn, I didn’t mean to scare you, I’m sorry.” You wrapped your arms around Nikki’s body, letting the shorter woman snuggle into your chest. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t do that again.” Her voice was a mere whisper. “I thought you’d changed your mind.”

Her words struck something inside you, as hard as an anvil hitting your head. You stared straight ahead as a small chuckle escaped your lips involuntarily. Because you would never regret loving her. You would never let that pain in your chest slip away. You would never let the thread connecting the two of you snap. Because if that happened, everything would come back to her.

And that weight in your chest—it wasn’t hers anymore. Now, it belonged to you.

“I would never regret loving you, Nikki.” Your fingers reached for her chin, lifting her head up so you could look at her properly. “I only ask that you love me the way I love you.”

I was listening to “My Way” by Olivia Rodrigo while writing this, and I thought about how this song would fit into a sequel with Nikki, the reader, and Sarah in a weird love triangle BYEEEE

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