#63 and #94 fpr the angst/fluff prompts
Yay I really didn’t know where to take this one but I found the perfect angsty fluffy time frame @kyouryokusenshi
Tagging @today-in-fic @baronessblixen @fragilevixenfic @scully-eats-sushi @storybycorey
94 “I won’t lose you too.”
Scully hums softly in the dark and from the deep tone in her voice, I know she’s just barely clinging onto the edge of awareness. Being as I’ve had more than eight years of experience in listening to a drowsy Scully, I know I have about 45 more seconds before sleep claims her.
I haven’t seen her nor our son in four months—haven’t gazed into their endless pools of blue in far too long, and It’s slowly killing me from the inside out.
The exchanging of emails had started almost a month ago after I finally fell to my knees emotionally and contacted her. And as thrilling as her responses were, I honestly could not handle receiving one more with her heartfelt, sorrowful words taunting me and crushing my heart from across the country. So I’ve succumbed to the overpowering need to touch my love and my son, even if it may kill me in the end. At least then I’d die with the vision of my son’s sweet face freshly imprinted in my mind.
Selfish of me, yes, but truth nonetheless.
Forced separation has made me a very desperate man. And if I have learned anything in my many years of fighting the good fight, it’s that desperate men do dangerous things in the name of love.
Scully may just kill me herself if she sees me climb through her window—risking my life and possibly theirs as well. But the utter state of despair that we both find ourselves suffocating in, has already begun to put ourselves at more risk than is needed. And on a night like tonight, I can only hope she’s more open to fulfilling our emotional needs rather than the rational ones.
I’ve been fully assured by our trusted allies that my night spent here will go unnoticed. So as I further open the bathroom window that has been purposely left ajar for my silent entry, I can only hope that Scully hasn’t picked up the habit of rocking William to sleep with a burp rag in one hand and her Sig in the other.
A chance to kiss the love of my life again. A chance to hold my son. Even if it is only for one night; a chance is what we need.
I shed my jacket and quietly walk around the corner as to not startle her or the baby. Coming all this way only to have Scully shoot me again would not be my idea of a joyous reunion.
Her bedroom is dark—sans the familiar dim, flickering table lamp I had knocked over one night during a rather wild bout of lovemaking that’s now highlighting her lush copper hair and beautiful relaxed profile. Wow, Scully is even more stunning than I remember. Seeing her cradling our precious miracle along her chest, instantly summons hot tears to brim along my lids and I happily welcome every drop.
Taking three, four, five large yet hesitant steps towards her, I watch as her eyelids flutter and fly open. I smile and slowly kneel at her feet as she furrows her brows and gasps her mouth wide open.
“Shhh, Scully…” I try and calm her as I feel her whole body stiffen along her knees and watch her chest heave in air.
“Mulder? she whispers, shocked while clutching William tighter. I nod, causing my tears to trickle down my face and into her satin covered lap. “Mulder!”
“Hi.” My chest is suddenly tight and the lump growing in my throat is nearly choking me.
Yet, this is the best I’ve felt since I kissed her just three feet behind me with our son held between us. The best I’ve felt since before my presence endangered us all.
She grasps onto my hand that’s massaging her knee and white knuckles her slender fingers along mine until she’s fully convinced I’m real. “What—what are you doing here?” Her eyes are wild as they dance over my face, chin quivering. “Oh my God, Mulder! Oh God!” Emotion fills her frantic voice while she pulls my upper half into her chest, nearly jostling William awake.
Unable to hold back anymore, my arm snakes around her hips and I slide my trembling hand under her silky night shirt, retracing the soft familiar curves of her body back into my fingertips. I feel her hot tears soak into my hair while I touch William’s little hand poking out from his blanket.
“Scully… I’ve missed you so much, Scully.” I let myself go into her warm breast while she kisses the top of my head over and over, moving to claw her fingers along my back and grip onto my shirt.
“Me too, Mulder, so much. But you’re in danger here. You know this! Oh, Jesus, Mulder, you have to go home,” she shakes her head and sobs. “Even though I’ve prayed for this moment every single night, you have to go home.”
“Scully, when I’m with you, I’m home. That will never change. No matter where I am.”
She sighs and I lean my head up to stare at her again. She meets me halfway before I can blink and kisses me soundly, tasting me, remembering us.
And for the first time in four months, I feel free.
Scully reluctantly lets my bottom lip slide through her teeth and looks down at our sleeping boy. “His hair is darker and his eyes are changing. They’re your hazel green now.”
“Really?” I rasp. “I always hoped he’d keep your beautiful blue ones. But, I’ll definitely be okay with him getting my height though.”
She fights a smirk and shifts his lax body weight over to my readied arm. I feel her intense stare burning into the side of my face, but I can’t look away from my child just yet.
“After everything…” She pauses, swiping at her wet cheeks. “I can’t lose you too. We can’t.”
My chest tightens at her painful words as I press a kiss to Williams soft forehead.
“You won’t, but I’m dying without you—without you both.” The thought of returning to the lonely hellhole I just came from—of dragging myself back down into the darkness of hiding in solitude, makes want to cling to her and never let go. But I’ll do it in a heartbeat to protect my family.
“You won’t,” I promise strongly, knowing I that shouldn’t while I nuzzle along the delicate skin and fine brown hair of our son. “It’s safe. And we have tonight.”
Her fingers comb through my hair, the same way they always have, and I tighten my grip around her waist.
“Tonight, Mulder.” Pressing another kiss to William’s cheek, I gaze up to be pulled into her gleaming sea of blue. I know I’m crying heavily now when she runs both hands tenderly through my hair, around my ears, and cups my face as she wipes my sorrow clean with her thumbs. Scully leans in once more and kisses me with enough passion to fill in the cracks of my broken heart. “Let’s make it count.”
And we do, as we spend every waking moment touching, tasting, pleasuring, and holding one another until the sun threatens to rise.
I hesitantly leave the same way I came; with tears in my eyes and an ache in my chest. But with the fresh taste of my Scully tingling on my lips, and the strong scent of my son on my skin, I leave with a picture of William in my pocket and ‘home’ beating within my heart.
That’s so much more than with which I came; and that is all I’ll ever live for.
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