Kol: Don't look for the cure. Because you will raise Silas and die. Don't look for the cure in Mystic Falls, don't look for the cure on a Canadian island, just don't look for it, promise? OK, everybody take some vervain.
Damon: Get in, losers! We're going cure hunting.
Jeremy: Hell no! I did not leave Denver for this!
Elena: So, if you're living in Mystic Falls, then why aren't you worshiping me?
Matt: OMG, Elena, you can't just ask people why aren't they worshiping you!
Caroline: Klaus is so weird. He just, you know, came up to me and started talking about how he fancies me.
Stefan: He's so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Klaus Mikaelson. We were best friends in the 20s. I know, right? It's so embarrassing, I don't even...whatever. So then, 2 hours after I met him, I started making out with his sister, who was totally gorgeous, but then she got daggered and Klaus was like, weirdly jealous of her. Like, if I would blow him off to hang out with Bekah, he'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" Then he compelled me to forget them because I didn't want him and then he came back and sacrificed my girlfriend and now I guess he's in love with you.
Tyler: I'm the Alpha Male. Right, Klaus?
Klaus: Please stop talking.
Elijah: And on the 3rd day, Klaus created the Sun and the Moon Curse so he could sacrifice a doppelganger...and some other supernatural creatures.
Rebekah: I don't hate you cuz yo special, yo special cuz I hate you.
Shane: How do I even begin to explain the Originals? The Originals are flawless. They have 5 castles in the UK, 2 in France and an island in the South Pacific. I hear Elijah's hair is insured for 2 mil dollars. One time, Kol almost drowned me. It was awesome.
Sheriff Forbes: 1 alive parent for you, Caroline Forbes. Bonnie Bennett? 2 alive parents for you, Bonnie Bennett. You go, Bonnie Bennett. And none for the other kids.
Bonnie: Mystic Falls is the one place where everyone can kill each other and no one can say anything about it because they're all dead.
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