So..
I haven't been on this ish in a minute, but i realize it's the last place I can clear my mind. Like back in the day when Tumblr was used for that and no one cared about reblogging the same shit over and over.
Shit got mad serious and I don't think you understand how much you mean to me. It got to the point that my actions revolved around yours and whether or not you had time to spend with me. It got to the point to where we spent mad time together and It felt empty when we were apart. You literally consumed my thoughts and no matter how much distance I put between us, unaware to you, you found a way for me to come running back.
I developed a need to always be there for you whenever you needed me. I'd turn on a dime to be there for you and did everything to provide you with anything you needed. I did these things all in the hope of possibly being with you. I never understood what I was missing. Listening to everything you told me, I was baffled as to what more I needed to say or do to win you over. At least to win you over completely. And yah, maybe I forced shit, but I did them with pure intentions. I didn't do them to buy your love or affection.
You will always be more to me and if I can't have you the way that I want, I can't continue to let you have me the way that you want... I need to let myself be selfish for once and work towards something I deserve. I'm running in a race that I'll never win and I finally reached the breaking point.
This shit is just as hard for me as it is for you. A huge part of me is missing, but the pain is slowly subsiding.
