yeah hi, bullying yourself out of depression because "i sound like an emo teenager" is even more proof that we need to completely reframe everything we think about teenagers. i would classify the average teenage experience as an overwhelming period of neglect, pressure, and shame that they get no say in, which serves to stamp out individuality and nonconformity right before they are pushed into the workforce. they should be angry, but people with more power only help them if they "drop the attitude." that help is almost exclusively with the understanding that the things they don't like will not change. their need is unmet, yet their parents and teachers, who they are encouraged to rely on as if they have any other choice, expect that temporary solutions and empty platitudes will stop the need from resurfacing. then, adults lash out at teens for not perfectly articulating that that's what's happening because they're frustrated and confused because they also want to not feel like this. wild.
if your child is angry, regardless of age, they're doing their best to communicate that to you using what they know. if you don't tell them the truth, they might not know that what they're responding to is capitalism and/or oppression. that's one of many reasons why it's important to give them that language consistently instead of "protecting their innocence." which is not actually what you're doing. you're protecting your own comfort and enabling their ignorance, which can hurt not just them but their peers. they're living in the same world as you and feeling its effects. you're robbing them of language for that pain. so much of your identity is wrapped up in "adulthood," whether you like it or not, that you are incapable of hearing what they are trying to communicate.
worse, if you manage to figure out that's what's going on, you often refuse to change anything structurally so that their lives get easier. your family's stasis is held up by their abandonment. you're so overwhelmed trying to make this shit work that you're terrified to slow down and consider how you could restructure, or, worse, you're content with how things are and expect your child to sacrifice themselves for your vision without taking any of their input into account. sometimes, they don't even want that much restructuring so much as they're asking to be considered as a part of your family. they want their voices heard. sometimes, they just need to scream about how much this world fucking sucks without you going "yeah, but life's not fair." jesus fucking christ shut up! just listen to them and nod and give them a hug if they want one! ask them if they need more, and do what you can to work with other adults, or even with them if they're willing, to meet that need!
children are communicating every single day that capitalism is not sustainable for humanity, and every day, adults get on the internet and complain about them for not giving up on that fact [plain text: fact] as quickly and conveniently as possible. depression is real. this is the world we have at the moment, and sometimes, you need to do stuff in it. but part of the reason you're depressed is because you're paying attention to how much you're giving and how little you're receiving. because your body has been sacrificed on the altar of someone else's dreams since you were born. your body is trying to tell you that's not acceptable, or maybe it's just trying to grieve what's been stolen from you. do you really want to bully it by throwing teenagers, an oppressed class, under the bus, or is that just the only thing you've been shown?
your body and mind deserve to have input over your life. even if this (gestures broadly) is sustainable for you, it is killing a whole bunch of people. you are choosing to climb the god damn ladder hoping to earn the rest you already deserve. you're resentful because "that's just the way it is," but it's not. that's the way wealthy white abusive men made it. bullying the part of you who knows that's true is creating internal disharmony. you are separating from the most human part of yourself. you were not put on earth to be a sacrifice for someone else's peace, and then bully yourself out of being upset about it because you really want to get the dishes done.
you were not put on earth to sacrifice yourself for someone else's peace. the emotional and physical well-being of those with less power is not something they need to tolerate because you don't want to change. you both deserve to live in the fullness of the truth that this life can be unnecessarily hard and cruel by design, but you need to remember that you do have some power to make change in your life and the lives of those you're responsible for. acting like you don't, like all your power is in the hands of someone else, is willful ignorance, weaponized incompetence, or learned helplessness. it is solved by slowing down and looking at your life, figuring out where you're putting energy chasing something that you already deserve and asking how much energy you really need to put into those areas. and guess who suffers the most when you don't do that? not you! your children, your pets, your employees, marginalized communities who experience more than systemic inconvenience but blatant violence. the people you claim to care about by spending money on a bumper sticker instead of mutual aid.
even if you believe that you're responsible only for yourself, when you bully yourself out of depressive thoughts, the one who suffers the most is the child inside of you who was robbed of a better world, not just by the government, but by your parents. they already tried bullying that kid. was that helpful? because it looks to me like that's the reason you're so depressed. instead of changing how they parented or sitting in solidarity with your sadness or giving you language for why you feel that way, they got you diagnosed and medicated. it was easier for them to treat you. because they view depression and anger as symptoms of something that needs to be fixed, not as fundamental human experiences or methods of communication.
for the record, if you wholeheartedly chose to be medicated, and you feel it's helpful, i am happy for you. you do not need to stop taking meds or reject medical advice, and you should not give anyone on the internet the power to tell you that you should. i think it's important to ask why our society would rather pathologize someone than empower parents to meet their children's needs. why do parents opt for professionals when, a lot of times, it's just a matter of seeing someone's humanity and meeting them in it? who does this structure benefit more? seems to me like it's the people with the power, which is concerning, since everyone's telling me it's for the children.
