I’m tired of gays, bisexuals and hetero guys who are too ashamed of theirs true orientation that they can’t accept the fact that they like guys. I was in two gay clubs last week and had some mindless sex with complete strangers. You can call me a slut, but I’m doing this only because I feel so fucking lonely deep inside of me that it is killing me. Why I just can’t meet someone who won’t care just about my penis or butthole or my mouth or hand or any part of my body that make him cum? Like really, where is the love these days? Am I really that bad person that I just don’t.. deserve it?
I had love, five years ago. It was sweet. We had nicknames and he was waiting for me almost every day after school for several months. He bought me presents for my birthday and made cakes for our anniversary. I think I really loved him.. for a while. But then..?
It just disappeared. Not quickly, it was slow, like when you’re falling asleep. After some time, I realized I don’t feel the love anymore and I just couldn’t stand the loving look in his eyes. I was feeling like I’m hurting him, because I don’t love him back. So I’ve decided to end it. Via Facebook. I know, I know, it was such a bad decision, at least I could have grabbed my balls and told him in person, but I just.. couldn’t. I’m not proud of that.
At least I know he is happy now. He has a girlfriend, he got together with her few weeks after our break-up. And I feel really happy for him. At least one of us can feel the love in all it’s depth.
What I’m trying to say is.. I’m tired. Tired of one-night occassions, I just want to meet someone who will want to have sex with me because he likes the real me, my personality, my flaws, who can appreciate how beautiful I can be, or how funny I am in the right moments, someone, who will tell me he likes the colour of my eyes, the warmth of my body, beat of my heart, sound of my laugh, my crazy ideas, who will walk with me through my shitty days and stand beside me during the best ones, someone, who will want to get old by my side, someone..
I’m being a little bit melodramatic cliché, sorry for that.
Sometimes, all you need is love, and all you have is a cigarette and long look to the night sky full of stars.
dededos
jacobvanloon
baratheonpilled
andulkaphoto
izzy806
areudirty
annaxmalina
