Do not fear long Death Fear short life

Gabriel Clarke, 28, Art and Dance Teacher Animation

[theartfulthatcher-blog]

Well that was surprising. Thatcher’d known there was probably more to this Gabriel fellow than met the eye, but he’d not expected the man to more or less admit to tampering with official documents to hide his past. One eyebrow arched in tempered accusation and then the boy nodded cleanly, a single sharp gesture, before he pulled a thin notebook from his back pocket.

"Let it be noted that the subject officially issued verbal consent for a non-traditional screening," Thatcher imperiously clicked a ballpoint pen to it’s writing position and scrawled something on the empty page he’d flicked to. From underneath his ash-blonde hair, he cast Gabriel a piercing glance.

"Let’s start with the basics then," he said. "Full name, place and date of birth, felonies, and allergies - just major ones for now, I don’t need to know if you have hay fever."

[gabriel-clarke]

Gabriel could easily tell that the boy wasn't expecting his words, but to be honest the boy's expression was more amusing than anything. Really, if the boy knew anything of the Bureau, then he'd know that once someone has been 'kicked out' they're supposed to be dead. If not, well, they basically don't exist. Gabriel had a hell of a time trying to get a life after being thrown out of the Bureau so, honestly, there weren't any 'official documents' to tamper with. The winged mutant is brought back to his earlier thoughts. The way such long, educated words come out of the boy's mouth, that is truly amusing.

"It's been noted." Gabriel stated, nodding as he sat at his chair and got himself comfortable. However, he didn't think that this would be much of a problem because, really, he's a fully grown man and the boy in front of him is small and adorable, who are people most likely to believe? Then again, Raleigh would definitely believe his own blood over Gabriel, so it'd be better to be truthful.

"Gabriel Clarke, I was born on March 12, 1985 in a facility with a secret location of which I am still unaware. Felonies include falsified documents and a few minor theft charges, non of which were taken to court. And allergies include, well, nothing."

[gabriel-clarke]

Truthfully // Gabriel & Raleigh

[raleighward-arch-deactivated202]

    Even before he’d been gifted to the Unit, Raleigh hadn’t been an affectionate boy. He tolerated the attention extended relatives would dole out and wagered his aversion to such things was the sparse smattering of affection gifted to him from his own parents. The Unit was hardly a place for such things, affection was shown in his grades and the comments shown on his progress and for him that was more warming than any hug had ever been. Of course, he hadn’t known what he’d been missing until an op went south and landed him with a busted leg in a shack on a very particular beach in his early twenties. He felt like he was looking back on an entirely different person when he thought that far back, observing a curious specimen under a lens and it left a sour note to his thoughts. 

    Of course the all consuming warmth of the male at his front was more than a capable reminder of the present as he felt the man relax something of a fraction against him and the press of lips returned with quick precision. This was a dance Raleigh was quite ill equipped with, affection had never been in the class schedule and it had been a teach yourself sort of journey. It was an animalistic side of him he hadn’t known still lingered in wait, of course he was every inch a predator so it made sense that some key parts of him were a tad more patient and potent than others. He’s pressing the other male to the ground with his weight, attempting to be as gentle as he rests the bulk of his weight on one arm—a hand comes up around his bicep. 

    Perhaps he’s not the only one that needed to be grounded in this moment. 

    He’s acted on half memories faded with time, and what was possibly his own shame as he tilts his head just a tad to deepen the kiss, tongue pressing with gentle purpose against the other’s lips only to find a sense of deep loss when the other pulls away. His mind is a muddled mess. His CO would be ashamed, still hot breath plays across his mouth as the other hovers is this really what you want to do right now? 

   Somehow, the agent didn’t have an answer for him. His tongue moves across his lips, still tasting the other’s lingering presence and he tries to form the words—he knows it’s all wrong, spur of the moment and hardly a moment born out of want or desire; it was a simple need to be away from what his mouth might spill forth. Honestly, it had been a very long time since he’d been this terrified. Of course, what he wants to say is very different from what he does say because whatever bad mojo was going on in their school was still going on and of course Raleigh fucking Ward had to be saddled with the worst curse to end all curses “Twenty-oh-nine, spur forward and supply a purist movement to eradicate metahuman populace in several Israeli ghettos. They mount their kills like prized bore; pose with dead children like a downed buck.” it’s a guttural tone, a voice that sounds riddled with the effort he’s enforcing to hold these words back “We went house to house with shotguns and—” he manages to bury his face in the other’s neck at the juncture between throat and shoulder; lips pressed to warm flesh as he forces himself to focus on the man under him. 

   His pulse point hammers against his lips, the heat of the other intoxicating as his scent. You’ve really let yourself fall fast haven’t you? It’s a cruel thought, his free hand moves from the soft locks tangled in his fingers to ball the fabric of his jacket—butter-soft under his hand, in a fist and simply forces himself to breath. 

[gabriel-clarke]

Gabriel has to admit that he's read his fair share of romance novels. Whether it'd be due to boredom or the smallest nibble of curiosity, he'd picked the small paper backs up and read what some believe to be 'love'. Such stories go from misunderstandings and heated fights to 'passionate' nights between the two main characters. It's weird how many believe that to be an actual act of 'love' when, really, does anyone actually know what love is? In the real world, love is symbolized by a strip of metal wrapped around a pair's fingers or the living space they share, maybe even the simplest of evening meals they share. There's so many different 'definitions' of love in this world, it's hard to decide which one is the 'real' one. One of the important questions, though, has to be 'What is his definition?'

Who the fuck cares?

The cold feeling of the hardwood floor strikes Gabriel's back, breaking through his clothes and almost making him shiver. But the body above him, the heat seeping through his very skin, Raleigh isn't even heavy, just the weight of his very presence, it's almost overwhelming. The man above, the same man that's killed countless people and mutants alike, the same man that's told him that whatever this is between them wouldn't be lasting long, he's trying to be gentle. It's so sweet it's like he's not even kissing the same person he kissed all that time ago. 

The lips against his own, they're dry and rough, but their movements are soft, almost gentle. Gabriel's so used to being the initiator, the one who starts all of this, he's not even sure what to do at this moment. He doesn't know what he expected Raleigh to taste like, maybe those cheap, thick cigars that antagonists in spy movies can be with, the ones with make black smoke that get blown into the attractive, protagonist's face in attempt to throw them off of their game. Why is Gabriel even comparing the man above him to some shady-ass protagonist when he could be making out with this guy. Jesus Christ. Gabriel needs to get his priorities in check.

The winged mutant finds himself stuck between a rock and a hard place. Really, he wants to help Raleigh, wants to get the man into a spot where he feels safe and protected, where the former agent can relax without feeling any sort of tension. However, he figures the only way he can get there is after they let themselves fall prey to their own instincts. Gabriel will never understand how he used to think that Raleigh enjoyed his work, because obviously it haunted him, in more ways than the former agent believed. The way the man above him just presses his face into his neck, Gabriel knows, he knows that Raleigh needs this distraction. Hell, maybe they both do. Nodding, the winged mutant brings a hand up and, very gently, caresses the back of Raleigh's head. "Okay, do what you want." He says softly, pressing a slow, but hopefully meaningful kiss to Raleigh's forehead.

[theartfulthatcher-blog]

"It’s a release form, agreeing to a background check, obviously. You’re not illiterate, are you? Because my dad’s a pretty cultural fellow. I’m Thatcher. Thatcher Soddensee-Ward." 

[gabriel-clarke]

Gabriel's eyes widened, if only a little bit. Honestly, he's learned to not to be surprised whenever Raleigh says something weird, but this boy is a completely different story. "Well, Thatcher, I can assure you that a formal background check will bring you nothing of what you're looking for. If you want real information, feel free to ask me."

[holly-chameleon]

"Ohh ok. Well, I think that things will probably fix themselves as time goes on." Holly removed her hands from her pockets and placed one on her waist. " So, now that I have made a fool out of myself, how about we just pretend this thing never even happened? That seems like a good idea to me."

[gabriel-clarke]

Gabriel shrugged, a smile of sorts coming onto his face. "You haven't made a fool of yourself. Raleigh and I aren't completely out about our relationship." He said, relaxing his stance a bit then smiling a bit more. "Have you been doing alright?"

[holly-chameleon]

"Oh my goodness, I didn't know you rolled that way. I'm so sorry." Holly's eyes became wide. " This is fucking awkward now. Uh, so how long have two to been a thing?" Way to be stupid Holly.

[gabriel-clarke]

Gabriel shrugged, not entirely sure how to respond to her rambling. "I swing both ways." He said, wanting to sort that out first because she seemed to be really confused, which he could understand. "A little while, I think, things between him and I are complicated."

[holly-chameleon]

Every time you tried, this happened. "Oh. Oh thats cool, who with if I can ask?" Your so stupid Holly. Why even try? "Thats fine, I mean us working together and all. Its fine I understand Gabriel." No one ever wants you. Holly shifted her weight from one foot to the other and put her hands in her sweatshirt pocket.

[gabriel-clarke]

Gabriel's face flushed with embarrassment. He wasn't even sure if he and the other man were a thing and here he is telling a coworker that they are. Hes so screwed, and not in the fun way. "Raleigh Ward, the Law and Government professor." He finally said, albeit worried about how the other woman would react since none of this was really public knowledge. "Are you okay, miss Redford?"

[theartfulthatcher-blog]

"Rubbish. It’s called talking in the rhetorical. Y’know, posing a question to which you already know the answer in order to make a point? Obviously. “

[gabriel-clarke]

"Fair enough." Gabriel stated, though his posture was relaxed as he shrugged a bit. "But humor me, what is on my desk?"

[holly-chameleon]

"Yeah, I kinda wanted to since before I left, but I thought now would be a good time to do it." Holly ran her hand through her dreadlocks in stress. What did she do? Was it a good idea? "I was um,wondering if you wanted to go out to like the park or something, it's still nice out." Holly looked up at Gabe, "I mean, you don't need to at all."

[gabriel-clarke]

Gabriel had no idea what to do in this situation. He knows for sure he can't say yes, but what is he supposed to say? The winged man groaned, running a hand through his hair and giving a light tug at the ends of his short strands. He noticed her doing something similar and was slightly amused that they had such similar reactions to stress. "As flattered as I am, Miss Redford, I'm already in a relationship, of sorts."

[theartfulthatcher-blog]

"I think you know why.”

[gabriel-clarke]

"If I'm asking about something, the chances of me knowing the answer to my own question are low."

[giselle-hopkins]

"Because teenage boys draw penises on everything — your desk is one victim of many."

[gabriel-clarke]

"Yes, I understand that, well, not really, I never had that urge as a teenage boy, but, still, why do they have to use permanent marker?"

[holly-chameleon]

Holly snapped her head around when she heard Gabriel come in the room.”Because I thought you weren’t going to be back for some time.. and um.” She spoke very quickly and then Holly picked up the note from his desk. “I wanted to know if you wanted to go out to dinner with me. Like, as a date.” Holly shoved the note in her pocket. “Oh my god I look like im seven years old right now, writing you notes and shit. You don’t have to I mean, I just, ugh.” 

[gabriel-clarke]

Gabriel was going to say something, something that would've explained his reaction to her letter, but his voice got caught before it could even leave his throat. "Excuse me?" He found himself saying, unable to hide his surprise or, well, surprise. "I wasn't, I didn't think I was being mean, I was just, confused." Gabriel finally said, a full, coherent sentence coming out of his mouth. His wings were tense, much like the rest of his body, but the man couldn't even think of anything to say. "You want to go on a date?"

[gabriel-clarke]

"Why is that on my desk?"

[dxgny]

"The detention thing does not even work here, so why would Hollental also use the detention thing? This, to Dagny, makes no sense.” She shrugged and shook her head, as if emphasizing her confusion.

[gabriel-clarke]

Gabriel shrugged, he wasn't one for harsh punishments, if anything he was strongly against them. But he had to admit that the girl had a point. "Well, I'm sure if anyone had gotten seriously injured then the punishments would've been more severe, but we've realized that no matter what we do the magic users won't stop, so really there's no point in doing anything too bad yet."

[dxgny]

"Dagny has been saying the thing for long time— the magic users are trouble. Should be locked up, like in Hollental.”

[gabriel-clarke]

"Am I right in assuming that, in Hollental, 'lock up' doesn't simply mean detention?" Gabriel asked curiously, never having visited the other campus, while also having no intentions to either, the place sounded harsh.

[hqdead]

"Did I say something wrong?"

[gabriel-clarke]

"No no, I'm sorry, these past few days have had me on edge, students are driving me crazy."

[gabriel-clarke]

Truthfully // Gabriel & Raleigh

[gabriel-clarke]

raleighward:     If only itwere so easy he wants to say, if onlythings could be that easy for Raleigh Ward but they’ve never been easy. They’ve gone from a simple echo of a life that never really felt his own to a world of blood and gunsmoke without pause between. There’s always been a part of him comfortable in his place in the world, he was good at what he did and he liked it. It made him feel good. The other’s hand is kind, warm in its presence; grounding in its offering. Even as he falls back on his safe word, his sanctuary “Can’tcan’tcan’tcan’tcan’tcan’t.”     But he wants to.     The younger male was offering an easy way out, a silent comfort in the simple proximity of his being throughout whatever it was that was wrong with him. And the fact that he didn’t know what horrid on its own, there’s too many possibilities that could slip free now. Bubbling violently to the surface as though they too were aware of Gabriel’s presence and knew all sorts of nasty things to offer forth to the other. There were things he feared the other wouldn’t understand despite all his knowledge of the Unit’s sordid history and deeds. The things Raleigh tucked into the darkest recesses of his mind, the one’s he held too close to his heart. It wasn’t as if the organ could be blackened any further.     The thoughts, the secrets involving him.     Yes. Yes he did know, he knew the man wouldn’t leave but Raleigh is terrified of what might come to the light. He’s already struggling with Thatcher in the mix, already so afraid the big secrets would break over the boy’s ears and the damage would be unrepairable. Are you not afraid of breaking Gabriel? Of spitting your venom and burning him so harshly? Would he finally leave you be? Would he finally turn whatever it was he held for you, to hatred? Fear makes his heart hammer in his chest, another moan; a trapped animal’s cry falling from his lips.     So it’s this time, he does what started all this. What one dove for in the silence of too much emotion bearing forth and he surges forward towards the other, hands moving from his gentle grip to cup the other’s face and crash their lips together. It’s hardly a gesture born of passion, it’s tainted in panic and fear but it’s somehow a step up from the roar of anger that clouded his mind the first time around even as he slides from the chair and presses himself forward against the other, fingers tangling in dark locks even as guilt sours his stomach.     It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

Gabriel could easily see that his words didn't have much of an effect, but his actions did. From the man that normally swatted his hands away or pulled away from the slightest touch, Raleigh looked as though he really needed this, this physical contact, this form of control, even if it wasn't completely his own. Taking a deep, calm breath, the winged mutant hoped that the other man would follow his example and just breath. If he could just take a second, get a hold of his thoughts and calm down, then things could get figured out, they could talk.

He shushed Raleigh as loudly as he dared, not wanting to frustrate the man or work him up too much. Obviously words weren't on the other man's side, but Gabriel could do his best to help the other man get comfortable. The painful noise that tore from Raleigh's mouth made the winged mutant grip his hand just a little tighter, hoping to gain the man's attention again, get him to regain that control he'd had just seconds ago. Yet, before Gabriel could even utter something, something comforting or kind, there were lips against his own.

The thoughts that had been in his mind, the things that were once coherent sentences, were lost, some would go as far as to say that they had melted. Gabriel wasn't sure what to do, what he should do, but it seemed that his body was already moving on its own. His eyes closed, just the sense of touch taking over his mind as he gently kissed back. This wasn't a time for intense passion, he wasn't sure if Raleigh could really handle anymore emotions right now, but that didn't stop the little bubble of emotions rise inside of the winged mutant. Raleigh didn't have to explain anything, at least not right now, but he sure as hell would have to explain later. The thoughts disintegrated as Raleigh moved forward, his warm body pressing up against Gabriel's front just as a little sting prickled on his skull as his hair was pulled by the former agent's strong digits. The wings fluttered, moving to extend before going still again, the man trying to keep his body in check, finding it annoyingly harder than normal to do so as he brought a hand up t grab Raleigh's bicep, needing something to help ground himself now.

There was a brief second, a tiny flash of clarity, if that's what it could even be called, that forced Gabriel to pull away. He couldn't go far do to the fingers in his hair, but to be honest he didn't really want to go anywhere, the heat from Raleigh's body like a temptress, drawing him closer. Licking his lips, the ghost of the other man's lips still there, the call of the other's warm breath tempting him to move in for another kiss, but he needed to voice his thoughts, even if his body didn't agree with the words, even if he couldn't fully express what he was about to say. "Raleigh- Did you- Fuck- Is this what you really want to do right now?" If this is what Raleigh wanted, if this is what he needed to do right now, Gabriel wouldn't object, but he needed verbal confirmation, just so he could know for sure.

[gabriel-clarke]

Truthfully // Gabriel & Raleigh

[gabriel-clarke]

raleighward:     Raleigh didn’t kid himself into thinking he had a firmhandle on the correct way to process emotions, how to handle himself in situations that were so simple, so mundane to the average man that they didn’t even think of it. He was broken, smashed to pieces and built from the ground up for a life of chaos, for a life of violence; for a life of war—- and now that he’d been moved out of the war, the mantle lifted from his shoulders and the leash loosened from his throat he felt lost, forever adrift in an ocean of impossibilities that he couldn’t bear.     And the day he couldn’t bear something was the day he really was broken.     Was that what was wrong now? Why he didn’t feel right and everything came tumbling free heedless of his struggles. “Can’tcan’tcan’tcan’tcan’tcan’t—“ it’s still there, falling free as fingers press to his lips as though he could hold the words back with his very hands (his hands that have maimed and killed, innocent and vile; so red soaked to the bone) and he knew blood on bone, thick gristle and—     There’s a touch, feather light against his arm that draws the tension forward and forcing him forward as he drags his hands down his features as he groans once again in the kind of pain caused only by absolute frustration. There’s an unbearable kindness in the other’s voice, blue eyes looking up at him with open concern; a reminder he understands he knows. Still the word continues to fall free until he returns his fingers to his mouth, stifling it because in all honesty he’s afraid of what else might come free. There’s never a trigger to it, only the odd word in a hundred was a safety from unleashing turmoil; and can’t just happened to be one of them. He simply stares down at the other man, gaze heavy with emotion he dare not name and exhaustion he wishes he did not need to bear.    “April fourteenth nineteen-ninety-seven;” it comes out instead of his assurance, he wants to tell him he’s okay (he’s not) if only to rid him of that terrible emotion in those gorgeous damn eyes of his.    “Seventeen. Seventeen. She’s thirteen, thirteen; acid eats her inside out; mother screaming, husband dead—“ it doesn’t sound like his own voice, but he remembers the moment as if it were yesterday catapulted to the forefront of his mind, one of the most violent missions he’d had in his earliest field work years.   It’s also been locked away as aside from the Robinson family, four other families, a total of twenty-two people had been killed in that building during the raid. And the sound of that little girl dying had haunted seventeen year old him for years “Purging of Florida Posterus Metahuman Research Facility; three hundred and eighteen dead. Gone.” And he shuts his eyes, presses his fingers close to his lips again, shaking his head while he lifts his free hand to ward the other off.

Gabriel has long since learned not to expect anything from Raleigh Ward, anything but the truth that is. Even when the truth is told, it's only what's necessary, only what the other man is ready to admit or say. But he's also learned that Raleigh is slowly, but surely, getting used to things, things like Gabriel Clarke and how he works. The winged mutant knows that he can't just grab Raleigh out of the blue, but he can touch him, even if it's just a light brush of skin, it can still go a long way. This was only proven to Gabriel when he sees Raleigh's reaction.

Even if it's not the reaction he was hoping for, it was a reaction none the less. The repetitive chanting of 'can't' finally stopped, which was a good sign, but the low groan and the haunted, almost ghost-like look in Raleigh's eyes was enough to completely solidify Gabriel's thoughts. Something was wrong, very wrong and the winged mutant was determined to stay and help Raleigh through this, well, whatever it is.

Gabriel was hoping that they could talk, for real, get control of the situation at hand, but the next waterfall of words wasn't what he was expecting either.

The only good thing about this, for Gabriel, was that he understood. He knew what Raleigh was saying, it was a mission's report, not a formal one, a personal one. The short haired man probably wasn't even aware of how he was giving away his emotions, the way the missions had actually affected him. Gabriel could easily tell that the other man wasn't fully comfortable with the words that were coming out of his mouth, especially if the way he pressed his fingers to his mouth was any indication. 

The winged mutant nodded slowly, wanting Raleigh to know that he was listening, but the other man was already waving him off. "I'm going to say this once, and you better not make me repeat myself." He stated, pausing only so he could gently grab Raleigh's extended hand and slowly brought it down so he could move both hands around it, a small attempt at stopping the much stronger, more deadly hand from shaking, "I'm not going to leave, you know me well enough to understand that I'm not going to walk away just because you waved your hand. Understand that I'm going to stay here, in this room, with you. You can talk or we can cuddle on the couch like a high school couple while I try to get you to relax."