In retrospect, Sans really hadnât expected things to turn out the way they did. Returning to the surface ended up being the same as most other timelinesâlots of curious and mildly mortified stares, lots of questions, lots of paperwork.
  So much damn paperwork.
  Still, things were pretty goodâstayed good, for a long time. He didnât know how long exactly, hadnât really bothered keeping track, until one day a thought struck him. Earlier that day, he had told Alphyâs heâd go with her to a science convention that would take place next summer. It seemed like such a small thing, but as he laid in bed, staring up to the ceiling in wide-eyed shock, he realized that he had made advanced plansâfurthermore, he genuinely meant them.
  It was bizarre, moving on from everything that had once held him back, all without even noticing.
  Things just began to fall into place after that. Quietly, step by cautious step, his life started feeling normal again. The fuzzy recollections of past lives began to fade as he entered new territory, and he was forced to remember just how insecure life could be when there wasnât the excuse of Resets or knowledge of past timelines to use at your advantage. There was a certain appeal to that, though, once he got passed the uncertainty of it. It sparkedâhe wasnât sure. Something. Something he hadnât felt in a very long time.
  Sans truly didnât know what would happen after that. He took it in stride and along the way, became friends with a human coworkerâa girl who smiled wide and grabbed at her hair when she laughed. Which, between the two of them, happened quite a lot. They became close; quiet moments of chuckles and murmurs slowly turned into heated breaths and messy bedsheets. It was different, intriguing, addicting, and Sans, well, he was pretty content. Happy, even.
  Who would have ever thought itâd be with a human, of all people.
  Being with one had proved to be less than simple, but the two of them made it work, arguments and grumbles aside. After about a year of publicly seeing one another, Sans couldnât help notice the incredulous stares from others began to subside. Oddly enough though, there remained a good handful of humans (and monsters) who liked to pretend that him and his lady friend were not, in fact, an item. Despite the very obvious signs that they were. People always made subtle little jabs at it, such as the waitress who currently dropped by their receipt. It was sort of amusing, honestly.
  âHere you go,â She said in an artificial chipper tone, âI hope you and your friend enjoyed your meal!â
  Sans glanced over to his date, who was sitting about as close to him as their barstools would allow, and the pair shared a grin. She broke eye contact to turn back towards the waitress and pushed the second portion of the bill aside.  âThanks, it was great. We only needed one check, though.â
  The waitress laughed one of those forced, awkward giggles, and apologized before turning to Sans. âSorry about that! So what happened? Did you lose a bet to your buddy?â
  He chuckledâtruth be told, the assumption wasnât too far off. Sans casually slipped an arm around his âbuddiesâ waist, and felt his grin tilt into a devilish sort of smirk. âyeah, somethinâ like that. thought sheâd have trouble keepinâ quiet this morning, but turns how she can be pretty determined when she wants to be.â
  âSans!â There was a light, back-handed slap to Sans ribcage. He glanced over to the girl in time to catch an embarrassed grin and flushed cheeks. âSeriously?â
  âah, she doesnât know what iâm insinuatinâ.â
  âWell if she didnât, now she definitely does!â
  She tried to pull off a serious look of reproach, but then, she never had been very good at scolding him. The smile that always crackled beneath her hard glare tended to ruin the effect. Sans began to snicker, and true to their dynamic, she ended up joining him.
  âwhoops, mâbad.â
  âDonât even âmâbadâ me.â, youâre the worst.â Bits of laughter laced through the statement, and Sans grin only grew. Whether he was actually the worst or not, it certainly wasnât stopping her from leaning closer, her small, soft hand covering his. The waitresses cheerful demeanor appeared to subdue. Her gaze quickly flickered to interlaced fingers, bones of a monster and flesh of a human, before placing a professional, plastered smile back on her lips. Cue another painfully false laugh and awkward fidgeting.
  Sans merely chuckled again, placed some cash into the little black checkbook, and handed it back without much fuss. âhere ya go, buddy.â
  The waitress gave a half mumbled thank you in return, and once she was out of earshot, a flood of good-natured, mockery jokes began.
  âThanks for getting dinner, pal.â  His date was giving him a toothy smile, eyes alight with amusement. Sans returned the look, and promptly adopted an easy-going attitude in return, slumping against the table as he shrugged.
  âhey, anytime. weâre buddies, after all.â
  âOh, yeah, the best. Such good friends.â
  âchummiest of chums.â
  âmy squishy comrade.â
 âYou know, itâs almost like we should just date.â
  âwhoaaaa now,â Sans lifted his hands as if in innocence, eye lights bright and smile stretched far as it would go, âi know weâve had a couple drinks, but letâs not get crazy here.â
  The girl giggled into her almost empty pink beverage. It was some sort of strawberry and liquor concoction she had always loved, but proved far too sweet for Sans taste. He loved the way it made her feel, though. She would always blush so easily after just having one glass, and when the alcohol warmed her enough, her laughter became littered with tiny snorts. It was possibly the cutest thing Sans had ever experienced.
  Her cheeks flashed that lovely shade of red at him now, and out came the snorting laughter. âOh my god, youâre right. I got a little carried away. Our love can obviously never be. Woe is me!â
  A dainty hand laid across her forehead, and for what Sans could only assume was dramatic effect, she leaned against him until she was practically resting in his lap. âOh, my dearest friend! Wherever shall I find my one true love now? Or in the very least, a one-night stand?â
  Sans looked down at her with a quirked bony brow, and opened his mouth to respond when a strangersâ voice cut him off.
  âI can help you with that, beautiful!â
  As it turned out, the words had come from a group of men that had been sitting a table away.  Two were sipping their drinks and snickering, and the third leaned forward, beer bottle in hand, looking at the girl with an unrestrained leer. She immediately began howling with laughter.
  âOh shit, that was quick!â Her shoulders shook with each giggle, running a hand through her hair. Sans noticed the strangersâ eyes glance towards the movement and instantly knew the meaning behind his curled smile; apparently, other people found the girlsâ little quirk to be endearing, too.
  He slipped his arm from her waist to her shoulder, where it could be seen in plain sight, and offered up a wink. âanâ you didnât even have to join a dating website, sweetheart. now thatâs convenience.â
  There was the feeling of eyes drilling into the back of his skull, and when Sans turned again, found the man from before staring at him with a crooked smirk. The stranger flickered his gaze back over to you, and lifted his chin just slightly, speaking in a southern drawl. âOh now, that wasnât a joke there little darlinâ. Why donât you come on over here and let me buy you a drink? Sure yer friend there wonât mind no bit.â
  The forward invite wasnât very surprising. Men, and sometimes women, tended to flirt before Sans had begun dating you, and had continued even after. He was under the impression that they couldnât really be blamed. You were attractive, according to him anyway, and though you pointed out he was biased, Sans still insisted that flirting was just going to happen. Like usual, he faced the situation with a relaxed grin, and gently brush a thumb against your shoulder. You responded by grabbing hold of his hand again, and flashing a polite smile to the other table.
  âAw, thanks, but we were just joking. Weâre actually together.â You lifted your conjoined hands, strong bone intertwined with soft skin, and gave it a little shake in emphasis. Out of the corner of your eye, you caught Sans grin inching into a smirk of his own, looking just a little too pleased.
  The stranger looked from your hands, to Sans, then back to you. He exchanged a look with his friends, who thumbed their noses and seemed to be trying not to laugh. With a snicker, he face you again and said. âYaâll serious?â
 ââfraid so, partner.â Sans responded in a lazy slur and wink. âcanât blame ya for tryinâ though, sheâs a, heh, guess what youâd call, a mighty fine lady. no hard feelinâs.â
 You couldnât help it; you erupted into another fit of giggles, and squeezed Sans hand that much tighter. His attempt at an accent, short-lived as it was, was horrible but hilarious. He looked back over to you, let out an amused huff under his breath, and returned the squeeze of your hand. White eye lights looked up to find the strangersâ eyes on him again, and met the stare straight on.
 âYeah.â The stranger said, taking a long sip of his drink. Neither of them had yet to break contact. âReckonâ she must be.â
 Sans smiled. âyup.â
 You were still too busy laughing and picturing Sans as a country bumpkin to pay much attention. Shaking your head, you excused yourself to the restroom, but made a point to lean your forehead against Sans like a quick kiss. He gently nuzzled back against you and watched as you left. Â
  While Sans had been content to preoccupy himself with his phone, it seemed that wasnât going to be an option. The man from before quietly murmured to his friends before leaning towards him again, calling out with a little sneer. âSo go on then lilâ fella. You wanna tell us how your old bones got yourself a lilâ cutie? Now Iâm pretty curious, is datinâ humans normal for yer kind, or are you just a little kinky?â
 A bony brow raised in response and though he knew the likelihood of him actually getting to use it was low, Sans kept his phone out, holding it loosely in his hand. âhuh. interestinâ question. guess she just thinks numbskulls are charminâ. or maybe sâmy jokes. theyâre real rib-ticklers. mâregular mr.funnybone.â
  âTch.â The man shook his head, a nasty grin spreading on his expression. âGuess yaâll find that pretty damn funny?â
 There was a clank as the man set his bottle down harder than it needed to be. He leaned a bit more of the table, eyes wide and clouded with drunken thoughts. âYeah. Yeah, itâs real funny. Bet itâs damn hilarious, makinâ yer gal explain you all the time. âExcuse me Miss, but that ainât no decoration, see, thatâs my boyfriendâ. Poor lilâ thang. Pretty girl like that probably goes through a whole hunka trouble, datinâ you.â
  Poorly concealed laughter from the other men spurted behind their drinks. The mans grin curled, and Sans quietly set his phone on the table.
 âmm. guess it ainât all sunshine and roses, no.â He scratched his side a bit before giving a small stretch and laying an arm over his chair. âbut, eh, at least sheâs not datinâ the sorta guy who starts losinâ it after a couple drinks. you know the type, yeah? a lilâ uneducated, kinda lackinâ in the classy department. probably likes to try pickinâ fights where he shouldnât. that guy.â
  âJust what are you suggestinâ, lil fella?â
  âah, i donât feel like i gotta really suggest anything. iâm a skeleton, pal. ya can already see right through me.â
  âIâll tell you what I see,â The man began to raise his unstable voice, and pushed off one of his friends attempt to pull him back, âI see a gal wastinâ her life away with some monster who ainât worth a lick!â
  One of the, up till now, quiet companions spoke up. âNow Mikeââ
  âYa hush, Rick. So Mr.Monster, donâtcha think yaâll should be stickinâ to yer own species? Last I knew, a monster donât even got the proper papers to buy a house. Now how you gonna provide for that lilâ doll? And what about them little ones? Pitter pattinâ of little feet, ainât no gal I met didnât want that. Hell, I bet yaâll canât even fuck, let alone have a babe.â
  Sans grin never shifted. His shoulders stayed lax, and with practiced skill, he kept his expression neutral, un-bothered. He reached the memories of that morning to distract him, thought of the endless squeaks and moans youâd given him as he worked you, of the little whimpers that fell out of your mouth with each carefully paced thrust and touch. The human didnât know what you two could and couldnât do together, didnât have to know, and Sans was more than fine with that.
âthe thing that got him though, the thing stung, was that he really wasnât entirely incorrect.
 It had been a very, very long time since Sans had felt jealous of someone, but he felt it then. He felt jealous, because even if this guy meant nothing to him, would never mean anything, there was still so much that he could do that Sans could not. It didnât really seem fair that some random guy in a sports bar could give the person he loved a normal life, when Sans himself would always have to settle for giving second best. It really wasnât fair.
 He wasnât sure why life had a habit of being that way.
 âwelp,â Sans said, his tone even and calm, âguess itâs a good thing she likes mâjokes then, huh?â
 âAll right, all right, thatâs enough now, fellaâs. Mike you best get yer ass back on that seat before i come up there and get it for ya.â
 âI said hush, Rick!â
 The fellow, Rick apparently, gave his friend an irritated look. âAnd I say knock it off! Not that yaâll would notice with how yer yammerinâ on, but that lilâ galâs on her way back, and I know you ainât about to talk that way in front of a lady, now are ya, Mike?â
 Mike glanced over to see you on the other side of the restaurant and sat back down with a grumble into his beer.
 âThatâs what I thought.â Rick shook his head and took a sip of his drink as their other companion snickered. âGood Lord Almighty.â
  âHe done started itââ
 âAh quit yer mumblinâ Mike, you done crossed lines and ya know itââ
 Rick waved his hand dismissively before Mike and their friend could begin arguing. âHush it, the both of ya. I got half a mind to take yaâll home and get to my own lilâ lady. Shit. Had a long day at work and I donât need yer trouble on my plate, so you best cut it, Mike.â
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