Undiagnosed but something isn't right

Don't expect this blog to be coherent

[galaxyemu]

Welcome to my madness

Hello there, random person who stumbled upon this blog.  My name is Emma! (They/her)

Here are regular tags I use:

#Emma Draws: My art #Emma Writes: My writing #Emma Rambles About Random Things: Me talking about random crap that happens to cross my mind/me just saying shit #Emma’ Headcanons: My personal headcanons about characters in media

-This blog is honestly a very unorganized mess. Be lucky I tag anything at all lol (although do let me know if certain trigger warnings need to be added)

-If you just want to look at my art look through the Emma Draws tag! Trust me it’ll be so much easier that way than just scrolling. I reblog so much shit so my original stuff gets buried very easily. Seriously. I have thousands of posts and only like 20 are mine 

-This blog is NOT a safe place for bigots/terfs/general pieces of shit like that! Fuck off if you support that shit

Have a great day/night!

[sleepboysummer]

"babying" a character is almost always referred to as a bad thing (as it usually represents infantilization as a result of lacking media literacy) but "babying" gabe goodman was the best staging decision ever made

[animentality]

idk why but this random comment about elon musk made me crack tf up

[dontyouknowemma-itsyou]

| please hear me calling

[apostaterevolutionary]

When you miss a character(s) so bad but you don't have any thoughts to share so you just kinda stare at pics of them like this

[pawnyouoff]

i promise its good guys go watch

[eradacted]

It may not be that deep, but I have a shovel and I will make it as deep as I want.

[feldfrog]

Clown cars are really tiny, but clown shoes are really big. What's that gas pedal look like

[agnes-nielsens]

a former coworker is a kind of dead wife

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

Next to Normal 2024 West End Proshot + things i said out loud while watching it

[dogpuppy]

[batsandboba]

learning that 5 minute crafts is a russian mafia operation wasn't on my 2026 bingo card but also doesn't really surprise me

[paranormaltheatrekid]

HUH??

[sadie83]

OF COURSE THEY ARE!!!!

That literally explains everything my entire YouTube sphere was saying like 10 years ago. They knew it was all money farming bs, and were begging to know who was behind it.

The Russian Mafia would have the money to make a production studio and hire young actors and make all these dumbass fake crafts as ragebait once YouTube was monetizable. I'm surprised it took the internet 10 years to find out, but that's the only surprising part.

[sylvies-kablooie]

i do unironically think the best artists of our generation are posting to get 20 notes and 3 reblogs btw. that fanfic with like 45 kudos is some of the best stuff ever written. those OCs you carry around have some of the richest backstories and worldbuilding someone has ever seen. please do not think that reaching only a few people when you post means your art isn't worth celebrating.

[ahhcloudy]

shoutout the goodman family

[not-adequately-small]

a reoccurring theme i notice in many hatchetfield stories, and is big reason as to why i'm so drawn to them, is the way the starkid writers' love for theater kid culture and for making art bleeds into their storytelling, and how they go into the darker sides of becoming attached to that.

i could talk about SO. many examples of this but rn i'm thinking specifically of the parallels between ruth's song "just for once" and miss holloway as like. a whole character., there's this overtly expressed fear of being past your prime, out of the limelight, forgotten as an artist.

ruth's case is a little more vague as she's expressing these feelings through a made-up character, but it's gutwrenching to think about how ruth feels so disregarded that she feels just as aged and washed away as the woman she's singing from the perspective of. "i used to dance".....

when it comes to miss holloway these themes take on a more fantastical tone. she is literally cursed to being forgotten time and time again. but to me her entire dilemma feels like the whole stomach-sinking feeling that the "i used to dance" lyric gives me, just personified. and when turning this into a whole character, it's really expanded on. a reprise. we see how her attachment to her lost potential causes her to be very selfish, to lead on the people she loves only to distance herself.

of course in her story she is confined to these behaviors because of external supernatural forces, but when thinking about it all as an allegory it takes on a really insane meaning to me about how when we obsess over maintaining a perfect and grandiose version of ourselves we can end up losing ourselves and hurting people around us. and it makes me especially insane to know she's written by people in the theater/prefomance scene. she's the brainchild character of people who've probably gone through this type of existential crisis lololol.

the crisis of artists in general. "i used to dance". i used to be something. i had the potential to be something. please tell me i'm still something.

[geniusbee]

these are getting weird

[kayla-denker]

Hey, you, cis girl that's very (correctly) vocal about women being allowed to talk about their periods, do you include trans women in that?

I ask because every single time I've tried to talk about it to anyone that isn't a trans woman they get fucking angry. Which has caused me to have to just suffer in silence every single month. So I really relate to cis women when they talk about literally the exact same thing; being shamed by everyone around them their whole lives for talking about their periods, so they just suffer in silence every month as it negatively impacts their work and social lives. But I don't even feel like I can voice that I am literally dealing with the same exact thing because most of y'all react like you want to throw me in front of a bus for saying it, even those of you who act like your such big great transfem allies.

[kayla-denker]

I guess I'll take this opportunity to talk about trans women periods. The first thing any tme person thinks when they hear this is always "how can trans women have periods? They don't have uteruses!"

The answer is: the uterus isn't what causes your period, it is effected by your period. What causes your period and what causes trans women's periods is the same thing: the endocrine system.

HRT changes the sex of your endocrine system. Feminizing HRT makes it a female endocrine system, giving us a 28-day hormone cycle just like cis women. At the end of that cycle, the hypothalamus floods the body with prostaglandins. Those are what cause all but one of the period symptoms, because they make muscles inflame and contract. They are what make the uterus shed its lining, they are what cause intestinal cramps, they are what cause body aches, they are what cause headaches and migraines. The only period symptom not causes by the release of prostaglandins throughout the body is depression, and that is caused by your endocrine system simply not processing as much estrogen and from simply feeling like shit.

So, the only symptoms trans women don't get every 28 days is menstrual cramps, because yes we do not menstruate since we don't have uteruses. But migraines, depression, body aches, intestinal cramps, and the infamous "period shits" don't exactly add up to us having any better of a time. Except we have to pretend that we're fine and nothing is different because no one believes that we get periods, not even cis women.

"But you can't call it a period then because that refers to MENSTRUATION!" is another one I hear all the time. This is incorrect. You use the word "period" instead of just "menstruation" because it doesn't just refer to menstruation. It refers to a period at the end of the hormone cycle where we experience a host of symptoms. And not all cis women experience all of the symptoms that encompass the period. Not all cis women get migraines, or body aches, or have severe depression. If a cis woman gets a hysterectomy she doesn't menstruate either! In that instance she experiences an identical period to what trans women experience. Yet, I doubt you'd insist that cis women who've had hysterectomies don't have periods.

[kayla-denker]

Oh, another thing that I personally discovered after bottom surgery: vaginal odor changes for trans women during our periods too. I was not expecting that because I always thought it was just from menstruation. But nope, the ph levels of a trans woman's vagina are the same of as a cis woman's vagina, and it changes during our periods just the same.