Binary~
This weekend i had dinner with some old colleagues. During it the topic of gender identity came up.
THE DREADED TOPIC OF THE XXI CENTURY! *faints like an overly corseted lady*
The main topic was regarding a couple that decided to, on a gender reveal party, reveal their child as non-binary. All my female colleagues were outraged. Actually outraged, as silly as that sounds.
I have my own thoughts about it of course: i believe it is no different than forcing normative rules upon children when they can't even say their own names, both points cancel each other out in my eyes, therefore thinking about it is an exercise in futility, like an hamster running on a wheel until it tires itself out. Furthermore, as a childless woman approaching her 30s i feel it's not my place to give opinions on it - as our society so lovingly treats us as if we have little to no value i prefer to continue acting like the old crone witch i expect to become and let society eat itself up while i brew my teas and praise the Hellenic god in peace.
I simply do not care about making a stand either way. Still, if they're is one thing i do not condone is close mindedness. So it does make me feel like raising questions at least:
Why should they care? It's not their child. They might not agree but how does it impact them directly? It's not a human rights violation, it's not child endangerment...
Gender reveal parties are an absolute waste of time. Why even give it value?
Are they so outraged because they fear that their own children, hypothetically, will find it difficulty to deal with other non-binary children? Isn't that inputting your own morals on your children as well?
And when I thought the topic couldn't get more awkward... Someone suddenly states they "don't understand non-binary" and therefore it makes no sense for it to have value or even be considered a thing. (I paraphrase)
So...
If i don't understand mental illness does that mean it shouldn't be a thing? (it'd be nice if it wasn't but thems the breaks)
If i doing understand how the world can be round it shouldn't be a thing? Guess i found out how flat-earthers are born...
Just because you not understanding something it shouldn't make it impossible for others who do. Have your opinions but be willing to accept others as well.
Here is where i actually decided to explain what the concept of non binary is as factually as i was able. There was more confusion as I expected. Some more outrage as well.
I am in no ways an expert as i consider myself a cis-female and have no non-binary friends. What I do is roam the internet frequently. What i do is also study/research into anything related to psychology or brain development. What i do is listen when people talk and try to place myself in their shoes. And what i do not condone is unwillingness to accept that which is different. THAT i know the feeling of. It does not feel good. It does not feel right.
I also know what it feels like to not want to be a woman and to not be referred to as such. The weight of womanhood is one that is heavy to hold. I know how it is to be treated by when people don't know my gender versus when they do (business emails are one example), and how being seen as neither sex could prepare ease that burden. This is in no way my way of saying i understand what it is to be non binary but that i understand reasons why some people might navigate towards it
There was also then the discussion that "they" is not a correct pronoun. I won't lie... this one was when i cracked as the little grammar nazi i am and immediately went on a grammar testing moment. (Bear in mind none of us are native English speakers and there isn't a "right" word for non binary people that sounds correct in our language - latin languages can be a pain in that regard - this is not the case with Germanic languages though.
Fortunately outrage and confusion suddenly stopped as food was promptly served to the table.
If there's one thing we could all agree on, as latin blooded people, is that at least food is a good way to end conflicts šš³ļø












