tags + warnings: light angst, domestic fluff, enemies to lovers (prev.), romance, implied sexual content, canon compliant, pregnancy scare, funeral mention (no main character death), engagement
pairing: joe fox / kathleen kelly - you've got mail
rated: M (for implied sexual content)
read on ao3 or below the cut
gif: made by me
dividers: here x
wc: 2.89k
There were a few things that Kathleen Kelly learned about herself and her new relationship in the first few months of officially dating Joe Fox. However, it became a cardinal rule to understand ten specific things about herself and Joe.
There were a few things that Kathleen Kelly learned about herself and her new relationship in the first few months of officially dating Joe Fox. However, it became a cardinal rule to understand ten specific things about herself and Joe.
I - There would never be anyone else.
Yes, it felt premature to say that. And yes, she thought the same thing about NY152 before she learned that NY152 was actually Joe. However, this is different.
This is shaky ground that became solid. Two people who truly didn’t have a chance in hell of making it actually fell together perfectly. And she had never been so happy to be wrong about the fact that nobody would ever remember him. That he was not just a suit. He was Joe, her Joe. Even with all of the troubles life had thrown on their adjoining track, it was an interesting life to be with him.
Even when there wasn’t supposed to be anyone other than NY152, there was Joe. There was always Joe. A man who infuriated her to the point that it lit her nerves on fire. In every bad way and good. There would never be anyone else who could have that same affect on her.
And had NY152 been anyone else, it still would’ve always been Joe.
II - She appreciates that he isn’t a stereotype.
She finds herself feeling guilty for assuming so much about him. The poor sad multimillionaire. He probably had a limo waiting for him at any turn. He probably had maids and servants too.
But he didn’t. He wasn’t his father. That was important to him, she learned. Joe Fox was not his father. His father who used toxicity and barely legal women to hide the fact that his biggest fear was a cold and empty bed. Joe on the other hand wanted less for the spoils of wealth and more for the experience of life. He may be ambitious like Nelson, but Joe was his own person. A very different person.
She even appreciates the little things about him that make him different from the stereotypes. No limo, he walks to work. He walks his own dog and cleans up after himself rather than leaving his messes for someone living paycheck to paycheck. The wealth never ate him up as it did most people. Without his ability to remain down to earth despite his bank account, she wasn’t sure if they’d ever be able to make it.
III - Even with the closing of her store leaving her feeling dead inside, he makes her feel alive.
It was unlike Kathleen Kelly to admit something as dark as feeling hollow within herself. So, she kept the darkest parts to herself. Most people could see that losing her livelihood - her store - was crushing. But most also saw the tenacity inside of her to keep going. Some days, she didn’t see that in herself.
But if anything brought her back to life, it was love. Maybe not Joe himself because that would be too sappy even for her. But learning new things every day about a man she thought she could guess everything about brings her a sense of joy she has been unfamiliar with. She thought that she knew there was nothing to him but a dollar sign. She was so wrong. And being wrong about him made her crave the feeling of learning what she was wrong about.
He doesn’t like playing dress up to rub elbows with whoever is popular in town at the fanciest event. He prefers a Heineken to a bottle of champagne. He’s actually read quite a bit of her favorite books before she’s even mentioned them to him.
And unlike most people in his world, he doesn’t say no to all of the things he wants to say yes to.
IV - His touch is soft, but she knew that already.
A lot of storybook romances talk about how the passion and intimacy between two helplessly in love people is electric. It’s on fire and it’s undeniably incomparable to anything else. She never bought into that. There was that one high school boyfriend during her rebel phase who didn’t exactly leave her wanting more. There was Frank, it was nice to be with him but there was never any toe curling fireworks going on under the sheets.
Then came Joe. And she wanted to beat herself over the head for realizing it but those books were right. She hates that they were right - they shouldn’t have been. But when two people who are meant to love each other do, there’s nothing like it.
His touch is soft and it’s always in the right places. He knows every inch of her body and he knows it well. Sometimes she thinks he may have memorized it too. When she’s with him, time passes perfectly. And those awkward moments that inevitably come in every relationship between the sheets, they don’t stay awkward. Not for long at least. Now that she can laugh and not feel horribly self conscious or off putting. She realizes that he’s there to love her, not be with her out of the obligatory “you’re over 30, time to settle down” nonsense. He’s with her to be with her, not to be with a body that can bring him 15 minutes of oxytocin.
His touch is soft even in the times where hers isn’t. Even when her nails have left red trails down his back, he’s careful with her. He knows she won’t break, she’s not fragile. But he touches her softly because it allows him to admire her even more when she’s not the one being soft.
And yes, toe curling fireworks. For the first time in her life, she feels it. And she never wants to stop feeling it.
V - They do argue about what movies to watch.
Even though she said they would never, they do. And it’s the only arguing they ever do. That much he was right about. She doesn’t wanna watch The Godfather again and he doesn’t want to see Little Women on his screen every freaking Friday night. But the argument ends in laughter as almost all of their little tiffs do. That’s right, she has learned to laugh with Joe Fox. She has learned that his little quirks are worth grinning over. Not fighting. That he is a man full of faults but she is in love with that man so the faults are worth loving too.
VI - Joe Fox was a good man.
One of the biggest tribulations they faced somewhat early in their relationship was the death of his grandfather. Her heart broke for him when she saw how devastated he was over the loss of Schuyler. Watching him fight back tears while carrying out his pallbearer duties, even her own tears couldn’t be held back from that. Her heart clenched when she saw him sit down in the pew beside her, pull out the daisy embroidered handkerchief from his pocket and wipe his own tears.
Despite being heartbroken and just a little angry at the world, he took on a more important mission in life: Annabelle. It was hard seeing Joe cry, but seeing the absolute gutting of a little girl who just lost her dad was even harder. Joe made it a priority to put Annabelle first for a while, someone had to. She began staying a few days out of the week at Joe’s - especially when Kathleen was there. If anyone understood the crippling pain of losing a parent, it was Kathleen.
And it was an absolute honor to sit beside him each night as they read her bedtime stories. They’d both take turns reading aloud the pages in funny voices just for her. Or how before anyone was awake, Joe would be in the kitchen making pancakes with whipped cream smiley faces on them just to make her laugh. He sang along her favorite songs with her, did up the guest room in his apartment in all of her favorite colors, and watched her favorite movies.
As each day passed with Annabelle under their roof, Kathleen realized that Joe was so much more than a person who “bought” his way into a child’s heart. He earned his place there, fought for it. Over time, the twinge in her heart wasn’t from seeing Joe so sad, it was changing into something that came by seeing what he would look like as a father.
VII - Even in fear, he handles situations with grace.
Speaking of being a father, there was a time. A fluke or a scare, whatever it may have been. But there was one solid week where Kathleen walked around with a pit in her stomach. She was late… too late for her liking. She had tried to keep it to herself, but Joe knew her and he knew something was wrong.
He had gotten it out of her eventually, breaking down her walls and encouraging her to just talk to him about whatever was on her mind. It was one of those times in their relationship where she wished it could be sent over an email like old times - back when she wouldn’t have to face his reaction. But his reaction was what made it special. Even though it was all for naught.
Scared, worried, fairly new into their relationship, he had taken her hand and promised it would all be okay. There was no running away or freaking out. He was exactly who she needed him to be in that moment: a rock for her to anchor herself to.
The test was negative and her period came a few days later, but even that was a whole other ballpark of emotions. Somewhere inside of her, she was sad that it was negative. And somewhere inside of him, he was too. Obviously the timing was way off and bringing a baby into the world this early in their relationship would’ve been frightening…but the idea of raising a family together had stirred up a cloud of imaginary scenarios in their heads.
Even then, when she became teary eyed over that negative result, he held her. He held her when she was happy or sad or scared. He didn’t try to downplay what she felt - given he was feeling it too. He didn’t tell her how it was actually a good thing that they weren’t pregnant. He listened. He nodded and agreed when she explained that despite not being ready to be a parent, she wasn’t ready to lose the idea just yet. He brushed a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear and promised her that the day would come.
And it would… some day.
VIII - Brinkley.
Brinkley fell in love with Kathleen just about as fast as Joe did. They always said dogs were great judges of character, and she liked to believe that Brinkley somehow knew that Kathleen was the person he had watched his owner write to for all of that time.
Joe won’t ever say it out loud, mostly because they don’t discuss Frank or Patricia, but Brinkley couldn’t stand Patricia. If Methamphetamines had a personality, it would be Patricia. Brinkley, however, had a preference for someone who took life easy. Which is why Joe suddenly had to compete for his own dog’s attention now that Kathleen was in his life. The sweetest moment had to be when Kathleen had officially bought a little food and water dish, and even his own bed just for her apartment. Many movie nights ended with the gigantic non-lap dog in her lap, drooling softly as she rubbed behind his ears.
Kathleen had never had a dog before. There was a cat, once upon a time when she was a little girl. Oh, her mother adored that cat. Pinky was her name, she was skinny and brown and a lover of napping in the sunlight. Kathleen never thought about having a dog, she always assumed that a companion she would choose would be a cat.
But she also never thought a companion she would choose would be Joe Fox either… life throws curveballs and Brinkley is a little too lazy to catch them. He’d rather snuggle with Kathleen.
VIX - The shock of telling people about her relationship would never get old.
In some ways, she felt like a traitor. She knew she wasn’t, that just couldn’t be possible if you knew her. But having to tell the people she cared about most that she was in love with Joe Fox, that was terrifying.
First was Birdie. And of course, Birdie’s response was “I already knew that!”
Kathleen’s eyes nearly fell out of her head. Of course she did. She’s Birdie, she knows everything. The woman who has lived about a thousand lifetimes packed into one. Out of all of the things Birdie would know, Kathleen should’ve seen this coming.
How did she know? “Well when you told me his screen name, I looked up the 152 address! I might be old but I do know how to find someone!”
Birdie wasn’t angry. In fact, both Joe and Kathleen had a sneaking suspicion that somehow, Birdie had been involved in getting them together. They’d never really know though, and they didn’t want to.
Christina was a little more difficult to tell.
The usual expressionless face had fallen into a slack jaw and raised eyebrows. “He’s email guy?” she drawled out. “Joe Fox, the grinch who stole Christmas, is email guy?”
“Well…” Kathleen had pushed her food around on her plate. “At least it wasn’t the rooftop killer.”
“Oh my god, Kathleen. This means he didn’t stand you up! Does this mean you two are like… dating?”
A small smile formed on Kathleen’s lips. “Yes, yes it does.”
“Well I should hate the bastard for forcing me to move out to Brooklyn but you’re blushing so hard it’s kinda difficult to stay angry.”
Then there was George. Oh, George.
“You know, I should’ve known. I really should’ve because he did not shut up about you from the moment I started working there. Every day he asked about you and I always just thought it was guilt.”
Kathleen had laughed at that.
X - She said yes.
It may have seemed like a horrible thing to think, but Kathleen had realized how much she had gained after losing her mother’s shop. Of course it was everything she had once held dear to her, but so was Joe. It took time to learn that her mother’s memory wasn’t just in the shop, it was in her - everywhere she went. Believing that her mother was only with her in the store was an insult to the memory of her. And she had also come to realize that if her mother were still here, she would’ve wanted Kathleen to be happy.
It was the Shop Around the Corner, or it was a chance at true love and a new life with a man who meant the world to her. Even though the choice was made for her, she knows she wouldn’t have had the courage to make that decision on her own. Losing her mother’s store was like losing her mother all over again, but a new lease on life is something her mother would’ve admired.
She knows now that she could never have both. She got lucky enough when she found out that the two loves of her life were the same person and no sacrificing one of them was necessary. She couldn’t have everything, but she had close to it. She had a loving relationship, a beautiful future, a chance at a new career, and her mother’s legacy inside of her heart.
She didn’t want to ever think that being with a man would be more important than having her mother’s shop, but when it came down to it, she had been stagnating. Her life had stalled out at the shop, she didn’t have the bravery to decide what she actually wanted. At least not without a boatload of guilt. She would’ve never been able to ask herself what she wanted in life. She would’ve never ventured out to write her books. And she would’ve continued seeing things in life that reminded her of a book, not the other way around like it should’ve been.
Her mother would’ve wanted her to move on. To find love and make her life her own. Her mother would’ve brushed away her tears and told her to chase her heart, not her obligations. Because the truth is, her love story was astounding. It was magical and full of every emotion under the sun. And she’d be damned if she didn’t admit her life was now beyond fulfilling. Not just fulfilling her mother’s legacy, but to her own.
So when Joe Fox had gotten down on one knee in Riverside Park where he had first kissed her as his whole self, she realized one very important truth: She had forgiven him long ago. And she knew that her mother was smiling down on her with pride.
Exactly one year to the day, with the flowers blooming around them, a bouquet of daisies in one hand and a ring in the other, he asked her.
“How about coffee every morning, dinner every night, and a movie every Friday… for as long as we both shall live?”
clean your room. clean space, uncluttered space, space that doesn’t have miasma clinging to it can work wonders. clean the dishes. sweep. take out the trash. peel the clothes off the floor and wash them, and then actually fold/hang them. take a long shower. scrub behind your knees. brush your teeth. (this can be utterly exhausting, but try to get it done in a day, if you can. the end result is worth it.)
pull out your notebook. it doesn’t need to be a new notebook, but preferably one that you don’t usually write in, or that you haven’t touched in a while. fuck moleskins. the yellow legal pad will work fine. sit in your room, or in the park, or in the library, and write a list. count clouds. describe all the colors that you see, and note patterns that arise. sketch the cracks in the walls. note the shape light makes when it enters a space. talk about what the air tastes like, smells like. what sounds are there? even the white nose, break that down: air planes, fans, cicadas, anything. remind yourself that you are sitting in the middle of a space brimming with detail. remind yourself that you are not in nothingness and emptiness. your world is fathomless. it has potential.
drink cold water and try to eat something that isn’t processed. it does not need to be fancy. buy yourself an apple with the change between your couch cushions. eat it outside. if you’re someone who walks, walk somewhere afterwards, just to stretch your legs. take your fucking meds. remember that its a good thing that you are inside your body. your body is a fantastic and endlessly intricate machine, and even though society has smacked a bunch of poisonous ideas on it, that doesn’t change its inherent worth and splendor. take care of it.
read a novel. underline your favorite lines, and write phrases that twist your heart inside your chest on the back of your hand with an ink pen. read a novel like it’s poetry. read poetry, something decadent but unpretentious. watch a movie you haven’t seen before. if there are free art galleries near you, walk through one. take your time. let yourself bask. if there are patterns in what makes your soul ache, write those patterns down – marbles arches or soot crumbling bricks or dandelions or descriptions of dresses or whatever it is, write them down.
your chosen family is important. remember, they picked you as much as you picked them. the love has no obligation. it is given freely and it is given from a place of compassion. you are not a burden. if you need to breathe, take a minute by yourself and just exist, but remember to go back to your people. when they need you, listen and be gracious. always be gracious. the universe sometimes remembers things like that.
listen to new music. link jump on youtube or related artist jump on spotify or ask the chap beside you in the cafe what their favorite band is, and listen to that. listen to something that you don’t usually listen to. we tend to tie up a lot of memory with music. we are falling in love again. the soundtrack needs to be specific to that.
allow yourself to indulge in romantics. press flowers in old books. play movies with subtitles and mouth the words. dance in your room. wear something that makes you feel good, even if you wouldn’t wear it in public. write your chosen family letters, even if you hand deliver them. write poetry, even awful poetry. revel in its awfulness. eat dark chocolate and when your chosen family want to go out, try to go out with them sometimes, even if its just to the market.
“I will love you until every star in the galaxy burns out and the universe collapses in on itself. Perhaps, even after that, if souls linger around, mine will find yours.” – Harry Styles, Bittersweet & Delicate
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