What is this place

help I am stuck in a time vortex

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Piss drunk alone in bed eatign a banana rn

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Harris teeter? Consider me shopping there, call that suckling on harris’s teat

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Nagging me up some real crucknutters, consider me buttered and baconed :)

Ps. Its gonna be a creamy one tn boys. Hocking a real gangbuster

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Ken Ham’s Big Gay Pleasure Cruise

Back in the day when dinosaurs walked the mud that would become limestone, and men sailed on Ken Ham’s Big Gay Pleasure Cruise, humans and dinosaurs walked alongside one another. Women hadn’t been invented yet, so everyone was generally in a better mood. Times were good and one might see the trackways of a sauropod and perhaps a theropod twisting and slipping through the mud. Man did not hunt dinosaurs because everyone was vegan back then thanks to you, Carl Baugh. Why don’t you stuff your london hammer up your London ass. Anyways Man and dinosaurs walked together as God Intended. Did the asteroid hit??? No! It was AIDS from Ken Ham’s Big Gay Pleasure Cruise. John D. Morris, president of the Institute for Creation Research, would give Ken Ham (who looked like a chimpanzee in his young days) sloppy toppys. Kentucky mudslips, Carolina applepops, if you will, whatever you like. Shit was wack on Ken Ham’s Big Gay Pleasure Cruise. AIDS killed the dinosaurs.

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It is 2 AM; sockless I sleep and something suckles my toes.. is it but a pet pup nibbling my dogs or is it something more sinister...? Scary !

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They say your either a smart fella or a fart smella and brians mom sure is a fart smella

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Friends mom came over (sorry bryan, yur mom gave me her #) and she just sittig there and im across the room and rip a nasty one and she looking at me like hey gargleblasted wtf?

I be fartin on yalls moms like its nothig

:)

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Theyd rather sham poo than real poo but i am a man of science. I have designed an experiment to put both to the test and will report back.

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Update: real poo does not work

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When the masseuse touches my feet, its fine, but when i, a toe-sucker

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Baby tickle me like my moustache hair tickles my lips

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Theyd rather sham poo than real poo but i am a man of science. I have designed an experiment to put both to the test and will report back.

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Truly I say to you, the Icarus band mafia has drones everywhere. They can see you at all times and fly anywhere in the worl-

Ah, huh. Nevermind.

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Civol war FACTS with garbleglatejd..

1. John brown raided harpers ferry becaise it was to prevent the futeur confederacy.

If he'd destroyf it , then he'd have prevented it. Intsed he only damanaged. A lot so the confedrery lost the war.

2. This fact meant that if someone raided harpers ferry they coul delay or prevent the next uprising in America.

3. Mathemiticians told goverment they nust raid, destrot, and pilfer harpers ferry at this much rate:

3. Te number is every 2.3 years harpers ferry must be demolished.

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Cute things to call your bff💗💗

1) whorebiscuits

2) slutsucker

3) Molech

4) monkeyboobs

5) bestie

6) cockpill snorter

7) cumguzzler

8) wangwacker

9) boybutt smacker

10) wanky dongargler

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We are the Icarus mafia. We will sprinkle icarus-related posts into your feed until you go insane from the mad coincidence of it all. Beware. We are everywhere.

Anyways anyone in an icarus mood lately like I'ma fly too high rn

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Joe camel was inspired by the real-life figure Joseph Camel, who was known for giving out free menthols to kids five and under

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Spending my evening barhopping except it's from coffee shop to coffee shop