Bitchitis

Rather random shit, not safe for kids or sane people.

[salty-inc]

Gonna tell y’all what I can hear now that I got my hearing aids

[salty-inc]

Birds! They chirp and it’s so beautiful.

[salty-inc]

Far away cow moos

[salty-inc]

My friend has this is his back yard and to say I cried is an understatement.

[salty-inc]

My best friends singing voice

[salty-inc]

Chickens: *chicken noise*

Me, sobbing:

[salty-inc]

The filter for my fish tank! Bubble bubble bubble

[salty-inc]

I sit in the bass section in band. Today I could clearly hear the flutes up at the front! They’re not great, but I can finally hear them!

[salty-inc]

The sound of walking in sand.

Soft but kinda crunchy? Very nice sound 10/10

[salty-inc]

Me playing guitar for the first time. Took the hearing aids out. Not a very good sound… yet

[salty-inc]

Tree leaves in the wind. I got a little spooked at first because it’s 1 am and I’m alone in the park but it’s a real good sound.

[salty-inc]

Bees

Let me say, it was really fucking terrifying walking past the flowering tree in my backyard and hearing zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz coming from it.

[salty-inc]

“sunlight” by Hozier

I sat in my car alone while listening to it. I knew it would be special but wow, that was a religious experience.

[salty-inc]

Their hooves make sounds in the grass but they are completely silent. Beautiful creatures. Beautiful sound

[salty-inc]

Pine needles and pine cones make crunchy sounds!!! Oh my! Very nice

[salty-inc]

Colored pencils make a real nice scratch noise when I’m drawing. I didn’t know they did that

[salty-inc]

I forgot to add this is the beginning! But that little sniffing noise that dogs make when they’re smelling the air or the ground? Wonderful!

[salty-inc]

OCEAN!!!!!!

[salty-inc]

So there was just an entire booth full of wind chimes for sale at mountain fair. It started to get a little windy and they all went off at once. It was so pretty.

[cj-valentine]

This is the most beautiful post on this whole site

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

“I KNOW the cake isn’t *supposed* to lean like that, I don’t know where I went wrong!” The speaker is a short round lady, with a head of red hair so fluffy you could hide a cat in it. While normally one to have a near perpetual smile, it's currently replaced with a concerned scowl as she's glaring at what seems to be an unintentional recreation of the fairies cake from sleeping beauty. Tall, lovingly decorated, and only vaguely staying upright due to a set of carefully placed support spoons.

Fang blinks rapidly as he takes in the sight of her and the cake. It takes him exactly five seconds to process... buffer... and finally lets it completely process. He smiles softly and carefully helps move the cake.

"It's looks amazing! I always love seeing what people do with cakes," he admits.

[garinna]

"I'm sure you'll look even more handsome with them," Ylva said, giving him a little wink.

"I feel like I should just carry you off to the bedroom soon," Audley said with a laugh. "You certainly are amusing, not backing down and going along with us." Ylva, pointing at his phone, had to suggest. "You should send her a picture of all three of us, looking all snuggly or something, so she knows what we look like."

[sunderwight]

Man that weirdly pretty queercoded villain sure is tenderly cradling the brash hero's unconscious form huh. Gently tilting his head to drip medicine into his mouth. I mean yeah he is saying that this is only because we need to temporarily team up to defeat a word bad guy and the hero isn't allowed to die until they have their epic rematch but uh. Um.

[sunderwight]

Like. The hero's girlfriend is right there. She could definitely be the one gently cradling him and pouring the medicine down his throat.

[sunderwight]

I'm just saying this seems like a weird distribution of uh. Tasks.

[sunderwight]

We have to make the trek up to the King of Destruction's castle and hope the hero wakes up en route because it's going to take us a while to get there, and every minute we wait is another minute while the King of Destruction accumulates the power to destroy the world. Luckily I know how to make a stretcher.

[sunderwight]

We're not using the stretcher. The villain is just carrying the hero in his arms.

[sunderwight]

I tried to offer him the stretcher several times AND suggested he at least sling the hero over his back but he says he doesn't want to impede the medicine taking effect. Is bridal carry really necessary for that...?

[sunderwight]

The hero's girlfriend is staying behind. She says she'll pray for us. I get that she's not really a combatant so it kind of makes sense but... I mean. Just speaking for myself I'd uh. Want to keep one eye on things, y'know?

[sunderwight]

The hero's perverted drunken mentor asked me to keep an eye out for the villain's betrayal in a rare moment of sobriety, but he's also staying behind to help "protect the village". I'm pretty sure that if we fail the King of Destruction will just obliterate the place in an instant though?

[sunderwight]

Starting to think they just don't want to third wheel whatever this is...

[sunderwight]

So looks like it's just me, the villain, the villain's hench goblin, and the unconscious hero marching up to the onyx castle that has wyverns pouring out of it.

[sunderwight]

Worst road trip ever.

[sunderwight]

I volunteered to fight most of the wyverns. I said it was so the villain could conserve his strength for the fight against the King of Destruction, so now it's just me and the hench goblin walking up ahead, trying not to listen to all the flowery stuff the villain keeps saying to the unconscious hero.

[sunderwight]

So awkward. Never thought I'd end up sharing commiserating glances with a hench goblin.

[sunderwight]

This hench goblin's pretty tough. He likes my ration bars too. Kind of nice, normally the others are always just complaining about my rations and how they taste bad. Beggars can't be choosers on the road, though!

[sunderwight]

Actually this trip might not be so bad. Hench goblin's name is Toady, which seems kind of degrading but I don't know enough about goblin culture to say anything. He says he serves the villain because his people owe the guy a big debt for saving their village. I wouldn't have thought that guy was the type to save a village, but goblins do have it pretty rough these days. I can definitely believe a goblin village was in need of saving!

[sunderwight]

The hero doesn't like heading to those parts of the map though. Says there's nothing worth going there for. I don't think he understands how hard some of the greenfolk have it.

[sunderwight]

Toady asked what my "employment contract" was, and I told him that I travel with the hero because he's my friend. He asked if I got paid and when I said no, he said I should "look into a union"...?

[sunderwight]

Got a card for something called the Minion Labor Rights Commission I'm not sure what that is but Toady said he would explain it while we worked.

[sunderwight]

Learning a lot of interesting things on this trip!

[sunderwight]

We made it to the onyx castle where the King of Destruction is. The villain finally put down the hero and started fighting the King while Toady and I dealt with even more wyverns. We had to guard the hero until he woke up, but luckily he opened his eyes right when it seemed like the King of Destruction was gonna turn the villain into paste, and then he dramatically rushed in and deflected the energy blast. Now the hero and villain are fighting back-to-black. Not that I can see much of it, through all the swirling energy blasts and exploding wyverns!

[sunderwight]

Toady said we should retreat. I told him I couldn't just leave my friend to deal with all of that but then a stray blast from the hero's sword broke the ground underneath our feet. We got flung down the mountain but Toady used this magical shield item to keep us from dying. Whew!

[sunderwight]

There was no way we were going to be able to make it back up the mountain again after that, so I prepared Toady a last meal in case that was the end of things for us. When everything started shaking I was afraid it would be, Toady and I were literally clinging to each other, but then the King of Destruction collapsed into all these black motes and his castle crumbled. So I think we're good?

[sunderwight]

The hero and villain made it back. Well, actually the hero made it back, but Toady and I went and found the villain's collapsed form near the crumbled castle and brought him down as well. Finally used the stretcher!

[sunderwight]

Hero scolded me for setting up camp. Says I'm always thinking with my stomach. Normally I just laugh that stuff off but it bothered me more this time for some reason...

[sunderwight]

The villain's still unconscious. Toady and I are carrying him on the stretcher together, the hero wants to get back to his girlfriend and check on the village as soon as possible. I hope none of the wyverns made it that far down, but I'm pretty sure Toady and I got them all when were heading up!

[sunderwight]

Toady is taking the villain further on back to the goblin town, I offered to help him but he says he's going to contact some other goblins to do the work and it'd be against union rules otherwise. Hero wanted to lock the villain in prison, but I pointed out that he helped save the village, so it was probably better to just let them go.

[sunderwight]

Toady gave me a magic crystal. Said I could use it in an emergency to contact him. For some reason I don't want to tell the hero about this. I don't think he'd like it. So I'm keeping it to myself.

[sunderwight]

I gave Toady all the wyvern meat I was able to gather on our way up to the castle. It's all good, I preserved it in my specialty bags. The hero caught me but he just made a joke about wyvern meat constituting a type of biological warfare.

[sunderwight]

I think I'm going to reconsider some stuff. Maybe stop traveling with friends as much.

[sunderwight]

Wonder how I'm supposed to contact the number on this card...?

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

“I KNOW the cake isn’t *supposed* to lean like that, I don’t know where I went wrong!” The speaker is a short round lady, with a head of red hair so fluffy you could hide a cat in it. While normally one to have a near perpetual smile, it's currently replaced with a concerned scowl as she's glaring at what seems to be an unintentional recreation of the fairies cake from sleeping beauty. Tall, lovingly decorated, and only vaguely staying upright due to a set of carefully placed support spoons.

Fang blinks rapidly as he takes in the sight of her and the cake. It takes him exactly five seconds to process... buffer... and finally lets it completely process. He smiles softly and carefully helps move the cake.

"It's looks amazing! I always love seeing what people do with cakes," he admits.

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

"The Spaniard? Vega? Occasionally Ada calls him Vegas because he's flashy," he admits. "I usually mess with his beauty products to embarrass him."

[garinna]

"Ah, yes, him," Ylva nodded. Presumably they HAD talked about him then. "Again, one more point for Ada though, funny girl," she said with a smirk. "Poor Vega though, so cruel of you to mess with him, I would Never!?"

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

"Thankfully it's never too much... just the right amount of push two or three metaphorical buttons and ease off," he grins. "That's usually the only time Balrog and I get along as well."

[garinna]

"Of course, that's fair then," she said with a giggle. "Balrog? That's an interesting name, is he a giant demon looking thing??" Very lords of the ring.

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

"Not quite but he can be fearsome like one when he wishes to be," he admits. "We might argue some but I can at least admit he's a solid fighter."

[garinna]

"Sad," Ylva stuck her tongue out with a cheeky grin, "I was kinda hoping for a demon. I kinda like them." Audley made a little amused huff on her side. "I would hope so..." "Is that important? Being a good fighter?" Ylva glanced down at herself, the human equivalent of marshmallow fluff. "If so we might have hit a snag in our friendship potential."

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

"Sometimes I think he is a demon," Fang chuckles.

"Fighting, no... but I always believe self-defense is important," he admits. "I could help you out if you'd like... both of you."

[garinna]

"If he don't have any, you should get him a nice pair of horns then. It's good fashion."

Ylva, just looked at him. It wasn't the first time she'd been offered such, she doubted it'd be the last. The problem though... "I think, that's a very kind thing to offer, but one you may want to not worry about. As it turns out I am entirely useless in anything that resembles martial arts." Which was almost funny considering she was surprisingly flexible, and decently strong. But putting those together into things like throws always seemed to end badly.

"No need to worry about me," Audley chimed in from her side. "I am... more or less functionally Immortal, and have enough power to tear buildings apart. I will be quite fine." She paused, smirking. "Unless this was meant to be an attempt to allow you to get close and," she practically purred the word, "physical. In which case I may consider it."

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

“I KNOW the cake isn’t *supposed* to lean like that, I don’t know where I went wrong!” The speaker is a short round lady, with a head of red hair so fluffy you could hide a cat in it. While normally one to have a near perpetual smile, it's currently replaced with a concerned scowl as she's glaring at what seems to be an unintentional recreation of the fairies cake from sleeping beauty. Tall, lovingly decorated, and only vaguely staying upright due to a set of carefully placed support spoons.

Fang blinks rapidly as he takes in the sight of her and the cake. It takes him exactly five seconds to process... buffer... and finally lets it completely process. He smiles softly and carefully helps move the cake.

"It's looks amazing! I always love seeing what people do with cakes," he admits.

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

"The Spaniard? Vega? Occasionally Ada calls him Vegas because he's flashy," he admits. "I usually mess with his beauty products to embarrass him."

[garinna]

"Ah, yes, him," Ylva nodded. Presumably they HAD talked about him then. "Again, one more point for Ada though, funny girl," she said with a smirk. "Poor Vega though, so cruel of you to mess with him, I would Never!?"

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

"Thankfully it's never too much... just the right amount of push two or three metaphorical buttons and ease off," he grins. "That's usually the only time Balrog and I get along as well."

[garinna]

"Of course, that's fair then," she said with a giggle. "Balrog? That's an interesting name, is he a giant demon looking thing??" Very lords of the ring.

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

"Not quite but he can be fearsome like one when he wishes to be," he admits. "We might argue some but I can at least admit he's a solid fighter."

[garinna]

"Sad," Ylva stuck her tongue out with a cheeky grin, "I was kinda hoping for a demon. I kinda like them." Audley made a little amused huff on her side. "I would hope so..." "Is that important? Being a good fighter?" Ylva glanced down at herself, the human equivalent of marshmallow fluff. "If so we might have hit a snag in our friendship potential."

[anonbeadraws]

illustration commission of River ubiquity Kind and their domain, caring for the Greens creatures and land, the best they can, for Max. 💀🌿 🌿💀Com info here! | Tip me?💀🌿

[whitepeopletwitter]

[drownedinlight]

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: that hotline is forvo.com. It’s a pronunciation dictionary that allows you type in a word and see how it’s pronounced. They have multiple languages as well. Don’t see a word on there that you know how to pronounce? You can totally add it. Visit forvo. Help yourself.

[defectivegembrain]

that is much better than a hotline because you don’t have to actually talk to someone

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

“I KNOW the cake isn’t *supposed* to lean like that, I don’t know where I went wrong!” The speaker is a short round lady, with a head of red hair so fluffy you could hide a cat in it. While normally one to have a near perpetual smile, it's currently replaced with a concerned scowl as she's glaring at what seems to be an unintentional recreation of the fairies cake from sleeping beauty. Tall, lovingly decorated, and only vaguely staying upright due to a set of carefully placed support spoons.

Fang blinks rapidly as he takes in the sight of her and the cake. It takes him exactly five seconds to process... buffer... and finally lets it completely process. He smiles softly and carefully helps move the cake.

"It's looks amazing! I always love seeing what people do with cakes," he admits.

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

"The Spaniard? Vega? Occasionally Ada calls him Vegas because he's flashy," he admits. "I usually mess with his beauty products to embarrass him."

[garinna]

"Ah, yes, him," Ylva nodded. Presumably they HAD talked about him then. "Again, one more point for Ada though, funny girl," she said with a smirk. "Poor Vega though, so cruel of you to mess with him, I would Never!?"

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

"Thankfully it's never too much... just the right amount of push two or three metaphorical buttons and ease off," he grins. "That's usually the only time Balrog and I get along as well."

[garinna]

"Of course, that's fair then," she said with a giggle. "Balrog? That's an interesting name, is he a giant demon looking thing??" Very lords of the ring.

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

“I KNOW the cake isn’t *supposed* to lean like that, I don’t know where I went wrong!” The speaker is a short round lady, with a head of red hair so fluffy you could hide a cat in it. While normally one to have a near perpetual smile, it's currently replaced with a concerned scowl as she's glaring at what seems to be an unintentional recreation of the fairies cake from sleeping beauty. Tall, lovingly decorated, and only vaguely staying upright due to a set of carefully placed support spoons.

Fang blinks rapidly as he takes in the sight of her and the cake. It takes him exactly five seconds to process... buffer... and finally lets it completely process. He smiles softly and carefully helps move the cake.

"It's looks amazing! I always love seeing what people do with cakes," he admits.

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

"The Spaniard? Vega? Occasionally Ada calls him Vegas because he's flashy," he admits. "I usually mess with his beauty products to embarrass him."

[garinna]

"Ah, yes, him," Ylva nodded. Presumably they HAD talked about him then. "Again, one more point for Ada though, funny girl," she said with a smirk. "Poor Vega though, so cruel of you to mess with him, I would Never!?"

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

“I KNOW the cake isn’t *supposed* to lean like that, I don’t know where I went wrong!” The speaker is a short round lady, with a head of red hair so fluffy you could hide a cat in it. While normally one to have a near perpetual smile, it's currently replaced with a concerned scowl as she's glaring at what seems to be an unintentional recreation of the fairies cake from sleeping beauty. Tall, lovingly decorated, and only vaguely staying upright due to a set of carefully placed support spoons.

Fang blinks rapidly as he takes in the sight of her and the cake. It takes him exactly five seconds to process... buffer... and finally lets it completely process. He smiles softly and carefully helps move the cake.

"It's looks amazing! I always love seeing what people do with cakes," he admits.

[garinna]

"Sassy? Us? Never!" Ylva held her hand over her heart, pretending to be offended, yet failing horribly due to not being able to hide a giggle.

"So it's decided, we will all get together and become a menace upon your sanity." Ylva stuck her tongue out, grinning.

The two of them sliding back to rest against the couch proper, smiled. "Best shade of red yet," Ylva said, giving him a soft pat on the cheek. "It does suit him," Audley said, smirking softly, wondering how long it may take him to notice the lipstick mark she'd left on his cheek.

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

"More like always sassy," he grins.

He's still oblivious to the lipstick mark on his cheek.

"Do you two always make men turn this red or is it just me that you do this to?"

[garinna]

"I would pretend to be insulted, but I think it might be too late to pretend I'm not," Ylva said with a laugh as she reached for her drink to take another sip.

"I," Audley started, "never pretended not to be. It is only that silly girl who would." Running her fingers through her hair, she smiled softly. "As for if we always try and turn people into darling shades of crimson, I would say no. We have standards."

"They have to be cute, fun, and most importantly, seem like the type to enjoy it." There was a little half smile at the two first points as Ylva counted them off on her fingers. "That last one is pretty important."

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

F.A.N.G’s thin lips quirked in what might almost be called a smile. “Cute, fun, and consenting… how delightfully pedestrian,” he murmured, tilting his head, eyes glinting. “I was beginning to think I’d have to color someone myself.”

[garinna]

"There is an alternative one, but you don't fall into that one," Ylva said, kind of as an after thought. "If they're rude, and turning them tomato them will piss them off? Also fair game."

Audley gave him a small look at the *pedestrian*, did he just call her boring?

"Color someone yourself?" Ylva raised an eyebrow, curious now. "And how would you go about doing that?"

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

"An alternative one," he asks. An eyebrow raised slightly. "Oh, trust me, I color Vegas red at any given moment when he's around."

[garinna]

Trying to recall who Vegas was, a sad moment of the *I have no memory for names* club, Ylva tried not letting on that she had no idea if they had talked about this person before or not. "And what do you do to poor, or lucky? Vegas when you turn him red?"

[misidentifying-animals-in-posts]

best animal names: fantasy edition

[misidentifying-animals-in-posts]

more of them

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

“I KNOW the cake isn’t *supposed* to lean like that, I don’t know where I went wrong!” The speaker is a short round lady, with a head of red hair so fluffy you could hide a cat in it. While normally one to have a near perpetual smile, it's currently replaced with a concerned scowl as she's glaring at what seems to be an unintentional recreation of the fairies cake from sleeping beauty. Tall, lovingly decorated, and only vaguely staying upright due to a set of carefully placed support spoons.

Fang blinks rapidly as he takes in the sight of her and the cake. It takes him exactly five seconds to process... buffer... and finally lets it completely process. He smiles softly and carefully helps move the cake.

"It's looks amazing! I always love seeing what people do with cakes," he admits.

[garinna]

"Sassy? Us? Never!" Ylva held her hand over her heart, pretending to be offended, yet failing horribly due to not being able to hide a giggle.

"So it's decided, we will all get together and become a menace upon your sanity." Ylva stuck her tongue out, grinning.

The two of them sliding back to rest against the couch proper, smiled. "Best shade of red yet," Ylva said, giving him a soft pat on the cheek. "It does suit him," Audley said, smirking softly, wondering how long it may take him to notice the lipstick mark she'd left on his cheek.

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

"More like always sassy," he grins.

He's still oblivious to the lipstick mark on his cheek.

"Do you two always make men turn this red or is it just me that you do this to?"

[garinna]

"I would pretend to be insulted, but I think it might be too late to pretend I'm not," Ylva said with a laugh as she reached for her drink to take another sip.

"I," Audley started, "never pretended not to be. It is only that silly girl who would." Running her fingers through her hair, she smiled softly. "As for if we always try and turn people into darling shades of crimson, I would say no. We have standards."

"They have to be cute, fun, and most importantly, seem like the type to enjoy it." There was a little half smile at the two first points as Ylva counted them off on her fingers. "That last one is pretty important."

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

F.A.N.G’s thin lips quirked in what might almost be called a smile. “Cute, fun, and consenting… how delightfully pedestrian,” he murmured, tilting his head, eyes glinting. “I was beginning to think I’d have to color someone myself.”

[garinna]

"There is an alternative one, but you don't fall into that one," Ylva said, kind of as an after thought. "If they're rude, and turning them tomato them will piss them off? Also fair game."

Audley gave him a small look at the *pedestrian*, did he just call her boring?

"Color someone yourself?" Ylva raised an eyebrow, curious now. "And how would you go about doing that?"

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

“I KNOW the cake isn’t *supposed* to lean like that, I don’t know where I went wrong!” The speaker is a short round lady, with a head of red hair so fluffy you could hide a cat in it. While normally one to have a near perpetual smile, it's currently replaced with a concerned scowl as she's glaring at what seems to be an unintentional recreation of the fairies cake from sleeping beauty. Tall, lovingly decorated, and only vaguely staying upright due to a set of carefully placed support spoons.

Fang blinks rapidly as he takes in the sight of her and the cake. It takes him exactly five seconds to process... buffer... and finally lets it completely process. He smiles softly and carefully helps move the cake.

"It's looks amazing! I always love seeing what people do with cakes," he admits.

[garinna]

"Sassy? Us? Never!" Ylva held her hand over her heart, pretending to be offended, yet failing horribly due to not being able to hide a giggle.

"So it's decided, we will all get together and become a menace upon your sanity." Ylva stuck her tongue out, grinning.

The two of them sliding back to rest against the couch proper, smiled. "Best shade of red yet," Ylva said, giving him a soft pat on the cheek. "It does suit him," Audley said, smirking softly, wondering how long it may take him to notice the lipstick mark she'd left on his cheek.

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

"More like always sassy," he grins.

He's still oblivious to the lipstick mark on his cheek.

"Do you two always make men turn this red or is it just me that you do this to?"

[garinna]

"I would pretend to be insulted, but I think it might be too late to pretend I'm not," Ylva said with a laugh as she reached for her drink to take another sip.

"I," Audley started, "never pretended not to be. It is only that silly girl who would." Running her fingers through her hair, she smiled softly. "As for if we always try and turn people into darling shades of crimson, I would say no. We have standards."

"They have to be cute, fun, and most importantly, seem like the type to enjoy it." There was a little half smile at the two first points as Ylva counted them off on her fingers. "That last one is pretty important."

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

“I KNOW the cake isn’t *supposed* to lean like that, I don’t know where I went wrong!” The speaker is a short round lady, with a head of red hair so fluffy you could hide a cat in it. While normally one to have a near perpetual smile, it's currently replaced with a concerned scowl as she's glaring at what seems to be an unintentional recreation of the fairies cake from sleeping beauty. Tall, lovingly decorated, and only vaguely staying upright due to a set of carefully placed support spoons.

Fang blinks rapidly as he takes in the sight of her and the cake. It takes him exactly five seconds to process... buffer... and finally lets it completely process. He smiles softly and carefully helps move the cake.

"It's looks amazing! I always love seeing what people do with cakes," he admits.

[garinna]

"Sassy? Us? Never!" Ylva held her hand over her heart, pretending to be offended, yet failing horribly due to not being able to hide a giggle.

"So it's decided, we will all get together and become a menace upon your sanity." Ylva stuck her tongue out, grinning.

The two of them sliding back to rest against the couch proper, smiled. "Best shade of red yet," Ylva said, giving him a soft pat on the cheek. "It does suit him," Audley said, smirking softly, wondering how long it may take him to notice the lipstick mark she'd left on his cheek.

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

“I KNOW the cake isn’t *supposed* to lean like that, I don’t know where I went wrong!” The speaker is a short round lady, with a head of red hair so fluffy you could hide a cat in it. While normally one to have a near perpetual smile, it's currently replaced with a concerned scowl as she's glaring at what seems to be an unintentional recreation of the fairies cake from sleeping beauty. Tall, lovingly decorated, and only vaguely staying upright due to a set of carefully placed support spoons.

Fang blinks rapidly as he takes in the sight of her and the cake. It takes him exactly five seconds to process... buffer... and finally lets it completely process. He smiles softly and carefully helps move the cake.

"It's looks amazing! I always love seeing what people do with cakes," he admits.

[garinna]

"I usually do," Ylva said with a self-satisfied smirk momentarily grazing her lips. She chuckled, "getting gummed sounds... Weird but at least less dangerous than getting bit. Just make sure to wear something you don't mind getting like, old lady saliva on I guess?"

"The pets?" She tried remembering the names of all the places she got them. "Very mixed." She could probably explain it better later, right now she was distracted. "They ARE! I adore axolotls, buuut that's not what he ended up selling me." She grinned, wide, like the typical proud petowner about to try and show off her babies that she was. "Come back to my plaaace," she tugged at his sleeve slightly giving him her best pleading eyes. "You should definitely meet them!"

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

"So some plain cotton stuff," he muses. There's a bit of fond amusement in his tone and words.

"Wait.... what did he sell you?! And I'd love to see them! Will our friend here be joining us," he asks. "I always enjoy good company and good pets."

[garinna]

"Plain cotton, or a raincoat." She stuck her tongue out for a second.

"You know..." She paused, grimacing slightly, "I have No idea?" Hircine was, not something she'd seen before.

"Perfect!" Ylva grabbed hold of his arm. "Then grab your plant and let's vamos!" No time like the present after all.

Audley looked on with amusement, having sat quietly for their discussion. "I suppose I may as well, as much as I would like to start on the outfit I cannot do so before I have the materials. I will let Adrian know and," she paused, looking down at what she was wearing. "Perhaps get dressed? Traveling around in nothing but a robe seems a tad silly, unless..." She turned towards Fang, a mischievous grin on her lips. "You would prefer me not to get dressed? Perhaps you would like the possibility of a little..." She let her robe slide down seductively over her shoulder, leaving it bare. "Accidental slip?"

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

"Noted," he grins. At the 'accidental slip', his cheeks turn a bright red. He hides a widening grin.

"You're a tease, you know that, right?"

[garinna]

Smirking, Ylva can't help but point out "you're surprisingly easy to turn red for someone that stripped down so heartily yanno?"

Audley just smiled at his words, leaning in closer to his face "Oh," she purred, "I know. It is ever so much fun, especially when, as my dear little Ylva said, you turn crimson so fast."

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

"Oh, you two are simply delightful," F.A.N.G smirks, a faint blush still painting his cheeks despite his efforts to appear unbothered. He adjusted his stance slightly. "Such keen observers of the human condition, aren't we? One might think you enjoy my... aesthetic vulnerability." He gave Audley a significant look. A hint of a smile.

[garinna]

"Funny, most people tell me I'm a menace though," Ylva said, still grinning. "You are a menace," Audley pointed out, "this poor man is just being nice I am sure." She almost managed to look serious.

"Anyway," Ylva turned her head to Fang, completely ignoring that last comment from her friend. "Yes. And I speak for both of us. We do." "Indeed," the other agreed, sliding closer, reaching to wrap an arm around his shoulders. "Its adorable and just..." Ylva too slid closer, about to mimic Audleys move, but realising she was too short to fully do so, instead opting to hold one hand on his shoulder, while giving him a little wink. "It makes one want to tease you."

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

"I mean, you are... in a good way, of course," he grins.

His grin widens some.

"Tease away."

[garinna]

"Aww," Ylva cooed, moving her face even closer to his. "What a sweet-talker." "Indeed," Audley said with a nod, "and so generous of him to give us free reign to tease as we may." "I wonder if he has a clue," Ylva murmured, her face so close to his now that he could likely feel her breath on his neck, "what he has unleashed?" "Does anyone ever fully know the limits or your ability to be a menace?" Audley raised an eyebrow, leaning her chin on Fang's shoulder. "No more than they do yours," she retorted, shifting her body so she could reach a little higher, getting her face on the same height as the two others, just taking a little more effort. The disadvantage of being short.

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

"Something tells me I've bitten off more than I can chew," he chuckles. "Thankfully, Ada's prepared me for situations like this."

He cheeks color a light pink.

[garinna]

"Don't be silly," Ylva said, reaching to pat his cheek. "We haven't even gotten to any biting yet, we're friendly." "Quite friendly." "Though I have to say I more and more kinda want to meet this Ada, she seems fun." Audley just nodded in reply, her hair ticking his neck as she just barely lifted her head from his shoulder to do so. There wasn't any word said, yet somehow the two ladies moved in unison, their heads turning towards Fangs face, and moving in. Synchronised, and assuming he didn't move out of the way, which wouldn't be too hard as they weren't moving super fast, he could feel the soft touch of lips on his cheeks, as they planted a double kiss on them.

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

“I KNOW the cake isn’t *supposed* to lean like that, I don’t know where I went wrong!” The speaker is a short round lady, with a head of red hair so fluffy you could hide a cat in it. While normally one to have a near perpetual smile, it's currently replaced with a concerned scowl as she's glaring at what seems to be an unintentional recreation of the fairies cake from sleeping beauty. Tall, lovingly decorated, and only vaguely staying upright due to a set of carefully placed support spoons.

Fang blinks rapidly as he takes in the sight of her and the cake. It takes him exactly five seconds to process... buffer... and finally lets it completely process. He smiles softly and carefully helps move the cake.

"It's looks amazing! I always love seeing what people do with cakes," he admits.

[garinna]

"I usually do," Ylva said with a self-satisfied smirk momentarily grazing her lips. She chuckled, "getting gummed sounds... Weird but at least less dangerous than getting bit. Just make sure to wear something you don't mind getting like, old lady saliva on I guess?"

"The pets?" She tried remembering the names of all the places she got them. "Very mixed." She could probably explain it better later, right now she was distracted. "They ARE! I adore axolotls, buuut that's not what he ended up selling me." She grinned, wide, like the typical proud petowner about to try and show off her babies that she was. "Come back to my plaaace," she tugged at his sleeve slightly giving him her best pleading eyes. "You should definitely meet them!"

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

"So some plain cotton stuff," he muses. There's a bit of fond amusement in his tone and words.

"Wait.... what did he sell you?! And I'd love to see them! Will our friend here be joining us," he asks. "I always enjoy good company and good pets."

[garinna]

"Plain cotton, or a raincoat." She stuck her tongue out for a second.

"You know..." She paused, grimacing slightly, "I have No idea?" Hircine was, not something she'd seen before.

"Perfect!" Ylva grabbed hold of his arm. "Then grab your plant and let's vamos!" No time like the present after all.

Audley looked on with amusement, having sat quietly for their discussion. "I suppose I may as well, as much as I would like to start on the outfit I cannot do so before I have the materials. I will let Adrian know and," she paused, looking down at what she was wearing. "Perhaps get dressed? Traveling around in nothing but a robe seems a tad silly, unless..." She turned towards Fang, a mischievous grin on her lips. "You would prefer me not to get dressed? Perhaps you would like the possibility of a little..." She let her robe slide down seductively over her shoulder, leaving it bare. "Accidental slip?"

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

"Noted," he grins. At the 'accidental slip', his cheeks turn a bright red. He hides a widening grin.

"You're a tease, you know that, right?"

[garinna]

Smirking, Ylva can't help but point out "you're surprisingly easy to turn red for someone that stripped down so heartily yanno?"

Audley just smiled at his words, leaning in closer to his face "Oh," she purred, "I know. It is ever so much fun, especially when, as my dear little Ylva said, you turn crimson so fast."

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

"Oh, you two are simply delightful," F.A.N.G smirks, a faint blush still painting his cheeks despite his efforts to appear unbothered. He adjusted his stance slightly. "Such keen observers of the human condition, aren't we? One might think you enjoy my... aesthetic vulnerability." He gave Audley a significant look. A hint of a smile.

[garinna]

"Funny, most people tell me I'm a menace though," Ylva said, still grinning. "You are a menace," Audley pointed out, "this poor man is just being nice I am sure." She almost managed to look serious.

"Anyway," Ylva turned her head to Fang, completely ignoring that last comment from her friend. "Yes. And I speak for both of us. We do." "Indeed," the other agreed, sliding closer, reaching to wrap an arm around his shoulders. "Its adorable and just..." Ylva too slid closer, about to mimic Audleys move, but realising she was too short to fully do so, instead opting to hold one hand on his shoulder, while giving him a little wink. "It makes one want to tease you."

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

"I mean, you are... in a good way, of course," he grins.

His grin widens some.

"Tease away."

[garinna]

"Aww," Ylva cooed, moving her face even closer to his. "What a sweet-talker." "Indeed," Audley said with a nod, "and so generous of him to give us free reign to tease as we may." "I wonder if he has a clue," Ylva murmured, her face so close to his now that he could likely feel her breath on his neck, "what he has unleashed?" "Does anyone ever fully know the limits or your ability to be a menace?" Audley raised an eyebrow, leaning her chin on Fang's shoulder. "No more than they do yours," she retorted, shifting her body so she could reach a little higher, getting her face on the same height as the two others, just taking a little more effort. The disadvantage of being short.

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

“I KNOW the cake isn’t *supposed* to lean like that, I don’t know where I went wrong!” The speaker is a short round lady, with a head of red hair so fluffy you could hide a cat in it. While normally one to have a near perpetual smile, it's currently replaced with a concerned scowl as she's glaring at what seems to be an unintentional recreation of the fairies cake from sleeping beauty. Tall, lovingly decorated, and only vaguely staying upright due to a set of carefully placed support spoons.

Fang blinks rapidly as he takes in the sight of her and the cake. It takes him exactly five seconds to process... buffer... and finally lets it completely process. He smiles softly and carefully helps move the cake.

"It's looks amazing! I always love seeing what people do with cakes," he admits.

[garinna]

"I usually do," Ylva said with a self-satisfied smirk momentarily grazing her lips. She chuckled, "getting gummed sounds... Weird but at least less dangerous than getting bit. Just make sure to wear something you don't mind getting like, old lady saliva on I guess?"

"The pets?" She tried remembering the names of all the places she got them. "Very mixed." She could probably explain it better later, right now she was distracted. "They ARE! I adore axolotls, buuut that's not what he ended up selling me." She grinned, wide, like the typical proud petowner about to try and show off her babies that she was. "Come back to my plaaace," she tugged at his sleeve slightly giving him her best pleading eyes. "You should definitely meet them!"

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

"So some plain cotton stuff," he muses. There's a bit of fond amusement in his tone and words.

"Wait.... what did he sell you?! And I'd love to see them! Will our friend here be joining us," he asks. "I always enjoy good company and good pets."

[garinna]

"Plain cotton, or a raincoat." She stuck her tongue out for a second.

"You know..." She paused, grimacing slightly, "I have No idea?" Hircine was, not something she'd seen before.

"Perfect!" Ylva grabbed hold of his arm. "Then grab your plant and let's vamos!" No time like the present after all.

Audley looked on with amusement, having sat quietly for their discussion. "I suppose I may as well, as much as I would like to start on the outfit I cannot do so before I have the materials. I will let Adrian know and," she paused, looking down at what she was wearing. "Perhaps get dressed? Traveling around in nothing but a robe seems a tad silly, unless..." She turned towards Fang, a mischievous grin on her lips. "You would prefer me not to get dressed? Perhaps you would like the possibility of a little..." She let her robe slide down seductively over her shoulder, leaving it bare. "Accidental slip?"

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

"Noted," he grins. At the 'accidental slip', his cheeks turn a bright red. He hides a widening grin.

"You're a tease, you know that, right?"

[garinna]

Smirking, Ylva can't help but point out "you're surprisingly easy to turn red for someone that stripped down so heartily yanno?"

Audley just smiled at his words, leaning in closer to his face "Oh," she purred, "I know. It is ever so much fun, especially when, as my dear little Ylva said, you turn crimson so fast."

[dontunderestimatemypoison]

"Oh, you two are simply delightful," F.A.N.G smirks, a faint blush still painting his cheeks despite his efforts to appear unbothered. He adjusted his stance slightly. "Such keen observers of the human condition, aren't we? One might think you enjoy my... aesthetic vulnerability." He gave Audley a significant look. A hint of a smile.

[garinna]

"Funny, most people tell me I'm a menace though," Ylva said, still grinning. "You are a menace," Audley pointed out, "this poor man is just being nice I am sure." She almost managed to look serious.

"Anyway," Ylva turned her head to Fang, completely ignoring that last comment from her friend. "Yes. And I speak for both of us. We do." "Indeed," the other agreed, sliding closer, reaching to wrap an arm around his shoulders. "Its adorable and just..." Ylva too slid closer, about to mimic Audleys move, but realising she was too short to fully do so, instead opting to hold one hand on his shoulder, while giving him a little wink. "It makes one want to tease you."