Synopsis ✨ In which you caught your boyfriend's flu, as did his best friend. And so you decide to be ill together to make it easier for your caring boyfriend to look after both of you. (Mingyu is their permanent third wheel.)
Genre ✨ Established relationship (Wonwoo x OC), fluff
Warnings ✨ very whiney OC and Mingyu, Wonwoo is a saint and just wants them to leave him alone, talks about oral m. recieving but no actual smut, talks of mxm oral but that's just Mingyu trying to get cuddles
Word Count ✨1.9k
a/n ✨ Just something silly to break up my last post and part 3 of my Wonwoo fic because they're both pretty smutty (:
“You did this to me” you sniffle down the phone.
Wonwoo is aware he’s done this to you. He’d had a horrible flu a week ago and because you’re his perfect girlfriend, you’d gone above and beyond to make sure he was ok, bringing him soup and ginger tea to get his strength back up. He’d told you not to bother, that he didn’t want you to get sick, but you didn’t listen. Told him you were made of strong stuff, and no flu had every brought a member of your family down.
That is until now.
“Why are you moving around? I can hear you walking.”
“I’m not walking, I’m shuffling. Hurry up please.”
“What?”
He doesn’t get an answer, you cut the line dead and he stares at his phone as the doorbell to his apartment rings.
Sighing, he tries to call you back but it’s goes straight to voicemail.
Opening the door, he stops dead at what he finds.
“What the hell do you think you are doing?!”
You don’t answer, just shuffle past him in your big puffer jacket, cheeks flushed, forehead sweaty and hair tied up in a high ponytail.
“_____, did you drive here?!” he marches after you, catching you as you wobble over slightly taking your shoes off.
“No.” You say like he’s an idiot, he tries not to laugh at the fact it sounds more like you’re saying dough instead of no because of your blocked nose. “I got an Uber. Charged it to your card seeing as how you’re actively trying to kill me.”
You don’t give him chance to respond. Just shuffle off towards the living room in your huge jacket and fluffy socks that you’ve tucked your sweatpants into. He can already sense this isn’t going to end well for him. The other person he’d infected with his flu is currently doing his best Oscar winning performance on the sofa, covered in too many blankets and piles of used tissues.
Don’t get him wrong, he’s aware how lucky he is that his best friend/ roommate gets on so well with his girlfriend, but together? You’re the most ridiculous pair of people he’s ever met in his life.
He walks around the corner to the living room just as you’re waddling towards the sofa.
“Mingyu!!” you say dramatically, holding out your arms like he’s just come back from war.
“_____, how did you make it here?!”
If the flu doesn’t kill you both. Wonwoo will.
“I took an Uber, Wonwoo paid,” you land on the sofa, your puffer jacket more or less inflating around you.
“You say that like I offered. What you’ve just done is basically theft.”
Your head whips around in horror, bright red nose illuminated by the lamp on the little table by the sofa.
“You’d begrudge me a car ride on my death bed?!”
“Asshole” Mingyu adds before sneezing for the tenth time since Wonwoo has been home.
There’s no point arguing. He knows that he won’t win with the two most dramatic people in Korea.
“Why are you here?”
“Oh, that’s very nice.”
“Asshole.” Mingyu repeats.
He just wants to go to bed, he’s already tired from the amateur dramatics going on in front of him.
“No.” He sighs, counting to three in his head to calm himself down. “I mean, I was going to come to yours to make sure you were ok. Why have you come here when you’re not well?”
You both stare at him like he’s grown several extra heads.
“We’re both ill Wonwoo.”
He’s aware you’re both ill. But why are you saying it like that justifies you leaving your apartment when you’re running a fever and you look like hell?
“You’d leave me here to perish?!” Jesus Christ you’re a pair of lunatics, “we thought this would make it easier for you. But excuse us for trying to make your life easier.”
You nod eagerly in agreement with Mingyu’s outburst, the movement making you a little woozy, so you have to steady yourself.
“_____, you’re my responsibility, not Mingyu.”
The six foot two baby clutches his chest dramatically whilst you give Wonwoo an offended look.
“I’m not your responsibility. I’m a grown woman!”
You try to stand up to prove your point but quickly fall back down to the sofa landing in your huge coat again. The way you’ve done it up to the top makes you look like one of those children’s toys that wobbles around and never falls over. If you weren’t so annoying, he’d think you were even cuter than normal.
“Your lack of women’s rights sickens me.” Mingyu adds, shaking his head.
He won’t rise to it. He just needs to get you both soup and meds and then you’ll both hopefully crash out on the sofa, and he can go to bed.
“I want a cuddle.”
Your pout might be the biggest he’s ever seen. And he’d love to take you into his arms. But you’re snotty and sweaty and, to be honest, gross. But your pout deepens when he doesn’t move and so he moves towards the sofa taking you into his arms trying to ignore a sour faced Mingyu on his other side.
“Is that better?” he asks, hoping he’s at least bringing you some comfort.
“Mm it’s nice.” You say, burying your sweaty head into his chest.
“And what about me? I’m suffering too you know?”
“Grow up.”
Daggers are shot at the back on Wonwoo’s head from his best friend, as he soothingly rubs your back.
“I don’t see why she gets privileges I don’t.”
Oh, he truly hates this bit. The part in your dramatics where you inevitably turn on each other.
“I’m higher up than you.”
“Bullshit.” A sneeze and wipe of his nose. “What puts you higher than me?”
There’s not even any point in Wonwoo trying to stop this, it’s the same every fucking time something slightly bad happens.
“Do you suck his dick? No, I don’t think so. Therefore,” you gesture your hands that around Wonwoo’s back wildly, your tissue flying onto the coffee table, “I get cuddles and you don’t.”
“That’s not fair!” Wonwoo grimaces, the flu making Mingyu sound even whinier than normal, “I’m not given the opportunity to suck his dick, let me do it then I can have cuddles.”
“No!”
Is he still here? He feels like he’s still sat on the sofa with his disgustingly sweaty girlfriend in his arms. But he can’t be sure. Surely, he gets a say at who gives him head?
“You don’t get to decide that without discussion!” Mingyu’s argument may have been stronger if he hadn’t started wheezing by the end of it.
“I do get to decide that actually because he’s mine.”
Wonwoo can’t help but smile at you being so territorial over him, he’d just rather your nose wasn’t running whilst you said it.
“He was my friend before he was yours.”
“Let’s ask him who he prefers then!”
You sit back, the speed at which you did it meaning you fall back slightly before you do one of the biggest sneezes Wonwoo’s ever heard in his life.
“Shit do you have to be so loud!”
“Well, I’m sorry Kim Mingyu but it isn’t my fault I sneeze better than you.”
Children. In fact, children, Wonwoo thinks, would be better behaved and less chaotic when they’re unwell, than you two.
“Who do you prefer?”
He looks between you both. Red noses, a tissue hanging from Mingyu’s nose as you try to get out of your huge coat and into a blanket.
“Neither of you.”
He gets up and walks to the kitchen, chuckling a little to himself at the dramatic wails that he leaves behind.
“Now do either of you need anything else?”
He puts soup onto your trays as you both lay on either side of the sofa, where you’ve managed to find so many blankets is beyond him. He’s certain there aren’t this many in the apartment.
“Is this chicken soup?”
“Have you made it?”
You’re both now talking at the same time, like two long lost twin idiots who have reunited to make his life hell.
“Yes, it’s chicken soup. No, I haven’t made it, I ordered it from that place down the street that you both like.”
This seems to appease you both for a few minutes, both of you burning your tongues having dived in even though he’d told you that it was hot when he put it on your trays.
Once you’ve finished your soup, both of you quite content, he places meds and glasses of water in front of you.
“Take these.”
You frown at the packet.
“These are what I got you! You didn’t take them?!”
“Asshole.”
Wonwoo glares at Mingyu as he throws the tablets in his mouth, swallowing them down with the water he’d given him. Is he satisfied that he throws it over himself a little? Yes, he is. Because karma is a bitch.
“I bought new ones ____. Just fucking take them.”
“You don’t have to be so mean to me.”
Fuck, even though you’re annoying, the fact little tears are swelling in your eyes, breaks his heart.
“I’m sorry baby,” he kneels at the side of the sofa, trying not to cringe at how sweaty your head feels as he soothingly smooths your hair out, “please take them, you’ll feel better.”
“Are you going to stay here with us?”
“This sofa barely fits you two, I’m not sure I’ll manage it.”
Your pout deepens, your fingers holding onto his shirt.
Wonwoo sighs, staring at the ceiling for a moment. The things he does for the people he loves.
“I’ll set up a little bed here next to the sofa, does that work?”
“Yes,” you whisper, “thank you.”
A loud sob breaks the moment.
“That was the sweetest shit I’ve ever seen.” Mingyu wipes tears from his eyes with his tissue.
He ignores you both, the pair of you now sobbing together, and takes a quick shower.
Fifteen minutes later and Wonwoo is finally ready for much needed sleep. He’d set up the single air bed, from Mingyu’s camping shit, next to the sofa and brought his duvet and pillows in so he was more than comfortable.
You peer down at him from the sofa, you and Mingyu still sharing it, even after you’d pinched his leg because his “huge fucking foot” was in your face.
“Thank you for looking after us. I love you Wonwoo.”
All the drama of the evening subsides when those four words he loves so much, leave your mouth.
“I love you too, baby. Get some sleep.”
You nod a little and pull the blanket up and under your chin.
“I LOVE YOU TOO WONWOO.”
He sighs, hearing you giggle a little as you dose off to sleep.
“I love you too Mingyu.”
He may grumble about it, but he would truly do anything for you both.
You may be dramatic idiots, but you’re his dramatic idiots.
summary: Joshua won't explain what his meetings entail or why he's staying at Hollywood's infamous hitman hotel, but something keeps him coming back to you despite everything in his world warning him otherwise…even if it's a packet of arsenic slipped into his coffee.
wc: 17.6k
tags: john wick/hitman/underworld!au, strangers to lovers
content warnings: fem!reader, alternating perspectives, absolutely crazy amounts of lore dropping, jeonghan is a menace to society, dark content warnings listed below:
this is a john wick/underworld!au, so this series contains mature content associated with hitmen, assassins, and the john wick universe including: violence, guns, knives, blood, dead bodies, alcohol consumption, injuries, interrogation, needles (threat of death by injection), minor character death, peril, poison, arguments, explicit language, religious allusions, symptoms of antifreeze poisoning (it'll make sense in the fic i swear), and very brief suggestive material. please let me know if there's any that i should add and consume media at your own risk.
note: holy FUCK this is the longest work i have ever written in my almost 3 years of writing on this app and it's only gonna get worse with every chapter...but hey it's seventeen so it's worth it
“II: Your Sector shall serve no other authority except the High Table.”
Joshua is two days shy of turning 17 when he accepts his first contract.
Moving out of his mom’s place and dropping out of university was a questionable decision, but spending the majority of his savings on acting classes that were pretty much a scam? A damning decision. Now, he was on the brink of eviction with nothing to show for his acting classes but a half-heartedly memorized Shakespearean monologue and three thousand dollars down the drain. The man behind the concierge desk of the Los Angeles Continental regards him with amusement when he trudges in and asks if there were any open ‘apprenticeships,’ a series of codewords whispered to him in passing by someone in his acting class who’d overheard he was struggling to pay rent. The receptionist picks up a rotary phone and murmurs a few words into it before gesturing for Joshua to follow him.
He’s led to the lounge of the hotel that he’s sure he’s too young to be in legally and introduced to two people sitting at the bar, an older man and a boy around his age. Both wear well-fitting suits that could probably pay for his rent for half a year. The receptionist dismisses himself with a polite bow and Joshua stands awkwardly while the two look him up and down.
“I understand you’re looking for a job, is that correct?” The older man asks after a long moment of silence. His voice is deep and seems to echo, like the space around him was cavernous and he was the dragon lurking inside. Joshua’s eyes flick to the metal snake ring wrapping around his pointer finger. He gulps.
“Yes, sir.”
“What’s your name, kid?”
“Joshua, sir.”
“Any family?”
“Just my mom, but I haven’t talked to her since I dropped out of school.” The man hums thoughtfully.
“How old are you?”
“Almost 17, sir,” Joshua replies. His voice sounds mouse-like compared to the behemoth in front of him.
“You’re about the same age as Seungcheol,” the man notes, nodding to the boy beside him. “He turned 17 a few weeks ago.” Seungcheol doesn’t blink and Joshua bristles under the intense weight of his stare. “Have you ever fired a gun, Joshua?”
“N-no, sir,” he stammers. Seungcheol scoffs like he’d been insulted and turns back toward the bar, taking a sip of what looks suspiciously like bourbon.
“Handled a knife?”
“Only a kitchen one, sir,” he answers honestly and the corner of the man’s mouth twitches.
“Have you ever bled?” Joshua’s face hardens. Despite trying to remain a pacifist, he’s thrown his fair share of punches, often when some jackass kids at school had a bit too much to say. Bruised knuckles and split lips weren’t new to him.
“I have, sir.” The man has caught the shift in Joshua’s demeanor. It pleases him.
“Would you pull the trigger if it meant you could have all the wealth in the world, Joshua?” He hesitates for only a second, the threat of eviction crawling up the back of his neck.
“Yes.” The man nods and pulls a gun from the inside of his jacket, placing it on the bar next to Seungcheol with a thud.
“Seungcheol is visiting a friend of mine tonight. You’ll accompany him. Make the right decisions and you’ll have a life you could only dream about.” Something indignant flashes in the younger boy’s eyes, but is quickly shot down by a sharp look from the older man. Seungcheol scowls but doesn’t argue, and the man’s attention returns to Joshua. “Go to the hotel’s tailor and ask for a suit, then to the sommelier. Seungcheol will know what to ask for,” he continues, reaching into his jacket again to procure a stack of gold coins. Joshua extends his hand on instinct and the coins make a clinking noise as they’re dropped into his palm. “You’ll leave tonight at 10:00.” Seungcheol brushes past him, heading in the direction of what he could only assume to be the tailor and the sommelier. Joshua turns to follow, but then asks one more question of the man at the bar.
“Sir, what should I call you?” The man grins like a hyena.
“Kronos.”
—
It’s 6:41 P.M. on a rainy Saturday when Fate decides to throw a wrench in your path.
He ducks into the diner like any other customer, shaking out his black umbrella next to the door while the clouds outside continue to shower sideways against the foggy windows. You’re halfway through your usual welcome greeting when you notice how effortlessly beautiful he is. Slightly damp hair, sharp jawline, and eyes that seemed a little too perceiving for their own good, he was the kind of guy that immediately took your breath away. The flickering cyan of the neon sign above the front entrance casts his face in an almost ethereal blue glow, like a siren who’d swam up the gutters of Sunset Boulevard. When your senses return, you offer him a warm smile and gesture to a seat at the counter.
“What can I get started for you?” You ask, placing a plastic tumbler of water in front of him while he flipped through the grease-stained menu.
“Coffee would be wonderful,” he replies and it’s almost comical how attractive his voice is, because of course he has a hot voice on top of a face that could rival all of the film industry. “And I’ll do a side of hashbrowns as well.” You nod, calling over your shoulder to the cooks in the back, your voice barely loud enough over the normal clatter of pans and sizzling bacon. They grunt in response, a better reply than their usual silence that leaves you praying they heard you correctly. The stranger settles in further, draping his coat that was probably worth three of your paychecks over the back of his seat. You feel his eyes on you as you retrieve a mug and pour out the piping hot coffee, setting it in front of him and sliding over the ceramic container of sugar packets.
“Milk? Creamer?”
“Creamer, thank you.” You pull a few tiny cups from below the counter. No more than four other customers occupied the diner, all of whom were covered by the other waitress working tonight. For once, you’re glad to be in charge of the register behind the counter because it meant that you could chat with the handsome stranger before he inevitably left and you never saw him again.
“What brings you to this side of L.A.?” A wry smile pulls at his mouth over the rim of the coffee mug.
“Do I seem out of place?” You lift a shoulder. The answer was undoubtedly ‘yes,’ considering that the people who came into the diner tended to be families of tourists or locals popping in before their graveyard shifts.
“The Burberry trench and Prada boots gave it away,” you admit. “I feel like I should be serving you in Brentwood or somewhere closer to the Hills.”
“To be fair, my hotel is on Figueroa.” Your eyebrows pinch. There were no hotels on Figueroa you could recall that would match his outrageously expensive vibe. Well, none except the one that everyone warned you to stay away from the second you moved to the city.
“Not Olympic?” You probe and something dark flashes in his eyes, like he was sensing your challenge and daring you to push further.
“The Ritz was too out of the way,” he explains with an undertone that you can’t decipher. It should have alerted every danger-sensing part of your brain. The most unsettling part about him, though, was that none of those sensors went off. “Honestly, the reason I’m on this side of the city in the first place is because I was gonna grab a drink with a friend. I’ve been stuck in meetings all day and needed some fresh air.”
“Well, this is as fresh as it gets here,” you concede sarcastically, gesturing to the blurry watercolor world of streetlights and poor drainage systems outside the bubble that was your workplace. He chuckles and it feels like sunshine in contrast to the weather and the rising suspicion that he was far more dangerous than he seemed.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Shoot,” you reply and watch his face carefully for his reaction to what was seemingly a harmless response. His eyes narrow a fraction at your word choice, but he continues anyway.
“I chose my clothes so they didn’t have noticeable logos. How’d you know they were designer?”
“I’m studying for my masters in business with an emphasis on the fashion industry,” you explain. The metal bell dings from the kitchen window and you retrieve the small plate of steaming hashbrowns, placing it in front of him. “One of my recent assignments was to analyze the most recent collections of three designers, and you happen to be wearing two of them.” His mouth opens into an ah of understanding and he nods.
“You have sharp eyes. That’s a good thing,” he comments, stabbing a chunk of potatoes with his fork. “It pays to be observant.”
“I just notice little details,” you clarify. “It’s nothing special.”
“You’d be surprised by how many things go unnoticed simply because people aren’t paying attention. Gets a lot of people into trouble that could have been avoided.” You don’t have the courage to ask for elaboration, so you shift the subject of the conversation.
“Your ring. I don’t recognize it,” you add and point at the silver signet ring on his left pinky. A trident is stamped into the metal above a small Roman numeral that looks like it could be the number three. “Is it custom?”
“It is. My friends and I all have matching ones.”
“What’s the significance of the trident?” He pauses for a barely perceptible second, tilting his head as if debating whether to tell you the truth or not.
“Neptune, the Roman god of the sea.”
“Do your friends have the other gods of the pantheon, then?” His smile turns calculating.
“Both Greek and Roman, yes.”
“Who were you grabbing a drink with tonight? Saturn?” You joke and he huffs a laugh that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
“No, Saturn’s with Jupiter on a business trip. The friend I’m meeting doesn’t have an alias yet. The rest of the guys and I have been throwing around some names, though.”
“What’s the top contender?” He waits again before responding and you can feel him trying to read you for something that you didn’t have.
“Orcus. Punisher of broken oaths.” Something shifts in you with his reply, the alarm bells finally ringing and the pattern of lighthearted banter is broken. You clear your throat and swallow thickly. He sees it, but whatever deception he was trying to find in your face is absent. Either you were a dangerously good actor, or you truly knew nothing about who he was and his significance in the underworld. The mask of a charming smile returns almost immediately to placate you. “Intense, I know. My friends are a little on the silly side. You get it, right?” You hum in half-hearted agreement before getting called away to another side of the diner, something about fixing a misprint on a receipt.
The stranger has vanished by the time you’re able to make your way back to the counter. In his place is a crisp $100 bill tucked under the empty plate of hashbrowns and a note written on a cardstock business card.
“Meetings all week. Hope to see you again. Hashbrowns were fire,” you read aloud and laugh at the last comment before flipping over the card. Your smile drops. Shit. Your eyes scan the logo and black print on the back of the card once, twice, then three more times before you register what it says. Gone was your initial glee now that you know your intuition was correct, that he was much more dangerous than he seemed.
The stranger was a guest at the Los Angeles Continental, L.A.’s infamous hitman hotel.
—
From THE HIGH TABLE SECTOR COMMANDMENTS
“IV: You shall act as an extension of your Sector, killing as they may kill and dying as they may die.”
After the first contract with Seungcheol, Kronos takes Joshua fully under his wing. Kronos teaches him the workings of the underworld, while Seungcheol hones him into a weapon of Kronos’ bidding. His body becomes leaner, his muscles stronger, his eyes sharper. On jobs, Seungcheol is brutal, busting down doors and attacking in a blur of thrown fists; Joshua takes a more subtle approach, clearing away guards and henchmen so that Seungcheol can pull the trigger on the primary target. Together, they act as Kronos’ spears, eliminating targets in the dark of whatever foreign country they flew to that week. Seungcheol speaks to him more after their third job together, sharing bits and pieces about his experience with Kronos and how the three of them were going to change the workings of the High Table.
Joshua sees the world, but he also sees the extent of what money can buy. The first time his cut of a reward was dropped into his bank account, he blew all of it on every designer store on Rodeo Drive. His second paycheck is spent on a dark blue Ford Mustang that has its own designated spot in the underground parking lot of the Continental. It’s a luxury, he thinks, to be able to buy Christmas presents for Seungcheol and Kronos’ daughter, whom he meets after his fifth job. She’s a few years younger than him and Seungcheol, but the three of them bicker and joke like they’d been childhood friends as they wander through the massive gardens she cultivates on a private island off the coast of Virginia. He compliments the flowers and she lets him call her ‘Flora,’ a nickname used only by her father and Seungcheol.
Most importantly, Joshua learns why he eliminates the targets that he does in between contracts and during long rides on Kronos’ private jet.
“Are you familiar with the Sector system, Joshua?” Kronos asks him over the rim of his bourbon glass. Seungcheol is fast asleep and snoring in the leather seat next to him, leaving Joshua at the mercy of Kronos’ unwavering stare.
“Cheol has explained it in passing, but the inner workings, I’m not sure about,” he admits. Kronos nods, silent and formidable in a way that Joshua still hasn’t become used to.
“The Sector system was established in the 80s after a group of hitmen formed an alliance and plotted to take down the Table,” Kronos explains. “They failed, of course; but, instead of outlawing alliances, it was decreed that alliances could exist only if they followed the Commandments set by the Table. The problem is, Joshua, that these rules were made to destabilize Sectors from the inside. Tell me, what is the ninth Sector Commandment?” Joshua’s eyebrows pinch as he thinks.
“If a Sector leader is eliminated, the one who kills the leader takes their place,” Joshua recalls.
“Now, what would be the issue with maintaining alliances if the highest position of power is solely dependent on if the leader stays alive or not?”
“All the members below the leader would want that power for themselves, so it’s a constant power vacuum where one leader dies, another takes his place, over and over again.”
“Correct. However, we are going to change the Sector system.”
“We?”
“Yes. I’ve been training Seungcheol to form his own Sector, but it will not follow the same cycle as previous Sectors.”
“How?”
“Today’s Sectors are fragile, with most being a group of five who end up betraying each other somewhere down the line. What a good alliance needs is numbers, numbers who understand that working together is more beneficial than eating each other alive. Thirteen, I think, is a good number.” Joshua’s eyes become wide as saucers.
“Where would we find that many willing hitmen, sir?”
“We’ve got you and Seungcheol, which makes two. It’s up to you both who the remaining eleven will be. I know Seungcheol has some ideas, and you will inevitably be his delegate that he sends to recruit other members. At least, until you find someone to fulfill that role.”
“What about you, sir? Wouldn’t you be a third member with us?”
“I have my sights set on a seat at the Table, Joshua. While you two work the underground, I will work the overworld. When we come together, the power of the High Table will be in our hands.” Kronos glances at Seungcheol, who has begun to snore. “Seungcheol will put in place ideas that were previously unheard of for Sectors. You will share a pool of money that a portion of your rewards will go to, in addition to the tribute paid to the Table. There will be more established positions besides the leader and the broker, such as the messenger. But most importantly,” Kronos’ voice drops to a low octave, “You must choose who is among your ranks so that no one would dare rival your power.”
“Sir?”
“The fact that anyone who kills in the name of a Sector joins said Sector is ridiculous,” the man scowls. “No, you will only allow the most elite of the underworld to join your membership, those whose reputation speaks for themselves.”
“Jihoon,” Joshua answers immediately and surprise blinks across Kronos’ face.
“Lee Jihoon could work, yes, but I believe he’ll be a hard one to convince only because the Ruska Roma are stubborn motherfuckers. Whomever you decide, keep in mind that these will be your brothers, and you must value them in a way that other Sectors do not value their membership.”
“I understand.”
“Good. Now, get some rest. You’ll be hunting as soon as we touch down.”
—
The logical side of you tells you to switch your shift after the first day you meet him, to swap with Melina and wake up at some ungodly hour of the morning to greet customers before the sunrise does. It would be a pain to have a shift before all your daytime classes, sure, but a voice in the back of your head was telling you it would be safer to avoid contact with the stranger, now that you knew he could be connected to the Continental. The curious side of you, however, keeps you on your regular schedule, hopeful that the mysterious (and probably lethal) stranger would show up again, and he did.
Every day at the same time, ordering a cup of coffee and a plate of hashbrowns, he’d be at your counter for no more than thirty minutes until his phone with a Louis Vuitton case lit up and he left. Your talks with him were deceptively normal, and you tried to reason that he incidentally picked up a business card for a hotel rumored to be frequented by the criminal underworld without knowing what it was. That, you learned, was wishful thinking. When you asked about what he did for work or what his meetings were about, he would go strategically quiet and steer the conversation back into what your interests were, charming his way out of the situation like he’d been doing it from birth. He bristled whenever you brought up the Continental and became so guarded that you had no choice but to bring up something mundane like your assignments or your roommate’s cats.
You finally learned his name was Joshua on the third day he visited the diner, but any attempt to pry further proved futile. The following day, he asked about the dusty jukebox sitting just under the window peeking into the kitchen.
“Is that real or is it just decoration?” You glance at the hulking machine with its thick rainbow arch and array of buttons that hadn’t been pressed in a long time.
“It’s real, but management says it’s better to just play stuff through the intercom,” you say. “It’ll have to be a really special occasion because I almost got fired the last time I did it.” Joshua’s jaw drops in disbelief.
“No way. Why the hell would you get fired for playing music?” You stifle a laugh.
“Apparently anything by Elvis is banned because it reminds my manager too much of her ex, but I played ‘Burning Love’ on my second training shift and she blew up at me in the walk-in freezer.” He stares at you like you’d grown seven heads.
“That’s actually crazy. Was it because of his voice? Or his face?”
“I think she was just jealous he could move his hips better than she could,” you snark and he bursts out laughing. Something in your stomach flutters against your will. You liked when he smiled, but his laugh could keep you on a high until the next time you saw him.
“That’s a shame about the jukebox, though. I have a friend who would get a kick out of it. He’s really into music and stuff like that.”
“Is he the one you told me about yesterday?” Joshua doesn’t seem to hesitate anymore when explaining his friends, and you figure it’s because their aliases help maintain secrecy without sacrificing interesting conversations. “The hopelessly romantic one?”
“Cupid likes music, sure, but the one I’m thinking about is Janus.” You search your memory for what you could remember about him, but it was hard considering that his friend group consisted of twelve other people.
“Remind me what he’s the god of again?”
“Time, in his simplest form.”
“And the complex form?”
“Beginnings, endings, everything in between,” he continues. “Oh, and doorways.” You blink at him and he gives you a sheepish look. “It’s confusing from an outsider’s perspective. I got lucky because Jupiter let me pick my alias first; I like water, so Neptune just…worked.”
“Yeah, and now your new guy has to deal with Orcus and all the ones that weren’t in Percy Jackson,” you add. Joshua smiles into his coffee mug, something soft and real.
It felt a little odd, joking about these people with him like they were your old friends, even though they could very well be wanted criminals. You didn’t know their true names like you knew Joshua’s, but you knew that Jupiter was the leader of their friend group, and Saturn was his right hand man. Mercury, Sol, and Bacchus could break the sound barrier together. Erebus and Somnus rarely ever raised their voices. Janus was very close to Joshua, and the latter talked about him like he was an awkward little brother that could always be trusted to follow his shenanigans. Cupid was constantly pining over some woman he met on a random phone call. Terminus was always there whenever anyone needed backup (what he meant by backup, you didn’t ask about). You didn’t hear much about Pluto, another friend very close to Jupiter, but when you did, Joshua would shudder like the name itself was fear-evoking. It was fascinating and downright puzzling, all these things you were learning.
Whether he meant to or not, Joshua was slowly folding you into the fabric of his world while simultaneously keeping you just out of reach. You wanted to know more.
You wanted to know him more, and your understanding of his world would end up escalating farther than you ever predicted.
—
From THE HIGH TABLE SECTOR COMMANDMENTS
“III: Your Sector shall hold no office that rivals the High Table.”
If a bullet didn’t kill him, Joshua figures that these hearings could come pretty close.
The face of his Piguet watch reads 5:45. 30 more minutes. He just had to last less than half an hour in this stuffy conference hall of the Continental, and then he could jump in his Mustang and see you, just as he had for the past several days.
“When you said to meet you in L.A., I thought you meant seeing the Hollywood sign or Universal Studios,” Jeonghan grumbles. “Something fun.” Joshua rolls his eyes, the corner of his mouth pulling upward. If he was on the brink of dying of boredom, he knew Jeonghan was downright suffering.
“I never said this would be fun,” Joshua corrects quietly and the people in the seats in front of them glare over their shoulders. He shoots them an apologetic smile. There’s a candidate at the front of the room being demolished by the election committee’s questions, but he can’t make out any of what’s being said from his place in the back-most row. Jeonghan shifts impatiently.
“Why ask me to come here, then?”
“Because I needed insurance in case Dino fucked up again,” he replies, annoyance laced in his voice. It wasn’t the first time a member had failed their induction task–Mingyu had lost his target three times, for God’s sake. This time was different, though, because Seungcheol had insisted Dino’s induction task coincide with Joshua’s plan to become manager of the Los Angeles Continental. As Sector leader, it was Seungcheol’s whole job to be efficient for the benefit of all members, but it didn’t make it any less irritating. “I called Jun, but he won’t be here until tomorrow at the latest. The others will arrive when they announce the position, the day after tomorrow.”
“Will Dino be able to complete the task by then?”
“If he doesn’t, it won’t matter. I’m confident the committee will make the correct decision,” he states. The candidate at the front of the room is dismissed, and another is called forward. The only candidate he had to worry about, Atlas, was at the other end of the room. He sat next to the man who had endorsed his campaign, someone named Bane Gordon who was supposedly related to someone with a seat at the Table. Not like Joshua cared, anyway. He had finished his round of questions four hours ago, and now was stuck sitting until everyone else had finished their hearings for the day as well. His mind steers a sharp turn to imagine you and the diner, how the world fades when you talk and how his heart thumps when you smile. He wishes time could move as quickly in here as it did when he was in the diner. When his focus returns to the present, Jeonghan is watching him with a cat-like grin.
“You’re thinking of her again,” he claims and Joshua’s face flushes.
“I’m not.”
“Are too.”
“Am not.”
“Are too.” Their argument is hushed again by the people sitting in front of them, and Jeonghan sticks his tongue out at their backs as they turn back to the candidate giving her opening remarks. “You’ve been different since you mentioned her the first time.”
“No, I haven’t,” Joshua denies.
“You have. I know more about this woman than I do Jihoon, and I’ve known him for seven years,” Jeonghan argues.
“She’s just nice, that’s all. I don’t talk about her that much.”
“Stay in denial all you want, Neptune. Shall I start calling her Salacia?” Joshua shoots his friend a glare.
“Don’t you dare.”
“What? Salacia is Neptune’s wife, after all. It’s called manifesting, Joshua Hong,” Jeonghan goads.
“You’re a pain in my ass,” Joshua deflects, willing his heart to stop racing at the idea of marrying you. “I can’t believe Kronos told us to spare your life.”
“You didn’t spare my life, technically; Ops did.”
“Has she warmed up to you calling her that yet?”
“She will. You know how she is,” Jeonghan sighs. Joshua braces for whatever the next tease is to come out of Jeonghan’s mouth. “Do you think Salacia and Ops would get along?”
“At this point, I think the committee should just shoot me.”
—
You meet Jeonghan on an overcast Friday at 6:36 in the evening, about five minutes before Joshua typically arrives. Your back is to the door and you’re chatting with the cooks in the back when he appears on a stool at the counter, noiseless as a hunting panther.
“Hello,” he greets in a voice as smooth the Yves Saint Laurent wool coat he was wrapped in. You stop yourself just in time from startling, a little put off by the fact that you didn’t even hear him enter the diner. “May I place an order?”
“Yes, hi. Of course you can,” you stammer, handing him a menu and a cup of water. Your body moves on instinct to grab a cup of coffee and you have to consciously remember that it wasn’t Joshua at the counter yet. “Sorry, I was–”
“Expecting someone else?” His smile is friendly on the surface, but you feel his eyes bore into you. He was trying to read you, the same way Joshua did, but his scrutiny felt twenty times more intense and made you want to curl into a ball and hide. Feeling backed into a corner, you glance at his pinky for some explanation and he watches you analyze the ring like you were correctly following the rules of a test. Just as you predicted, a gold signet ring with an identical shape to Joshua’s sits on his finger. The Roman numeral ‘two’ is etched into the metal below a curved blade, a sickle.
“Saturn.” His mouth pulls into a cat-like grin.
“He’s told you more than I predicted,” he remarks, his voice laced with amusement, and you finally take a deep enough breath to steel your nerves. “Do you know his name?”
“Neptune,” you answer quickly.
“Not that one. His real name.” You pause and take another look at the ring on his finger. Several possibilities flash in your mind, one of them being that the man in front of you could be an imposter looking to gain insight into Joshua and his friends. You had no way to verify this man’s identity, seeing as you only knew Saturn’s alias and what the symbol on his ring supposedly was, and it occurs to you that telling this stranger Joshua’s name could put both of you in danger. “Well?”
Advice from a business professor whose name you’ve long forgotten echoes in your mind: Whoever’s talking holds the power.
Fuck it.
“Can I get something started for you?” You dodge, checking the clock. He tilts his head and narrows his eyes, like you’d chosen an answer option he hadn’t given. You flip open the menu, navigating to the combos page with adrenaline racing through your veins. You just had to stall for two more minutes until Joshua arrived, and then you would know if this was actually his friend. “I tend to recommend pancake combo A, but the waffle combo is just as good. It just depends on what you’re in the mood for.”
“What are–” You steamroll ahead with more senseless chattering about the diner’s offerings.
“I can start you out with coffee while you look through what we have. Cream and sugar okay?” You don’t give him the chance to respond, turning abruptly on your heel to grab the coffee pot and shakily pour out a cup. When you turn to place the mug in front of him, his expression has changed from a predator playing with its food to pure dumbfoundment.
“I didn’t ask for–”
“You looked like you could use a cup,” you interrupt without thinking. “Someone told me I have sharp eyes, so I guess that’s a good thing. I can tell you more about our specials, if you’d like. We just started using this new type of bacon that’s supposedly fattier, so even if it gets too crispy, there’s still soft parts at the edges.”
“Can I–”
“We have pie and chocolate cake as well, in the back. We haven’t used the cake stand in a while because it’s from the 30s and we’re pretty sure it’s radioactive.”
“Would you just–”
“I don’t think our patrons seem to mind that the cake stand is possibly radioactive or that the cook forgets to use a hairnet most days. At the end of the day, food is food and business is business. You get it, right?” He stares at you, speechless. Every time he tried to speak, you would simply say something before he could, and any attempt to have a conversation–or in this case, an interrogation–fell flat on its face.
“Why,” he begins slowly and you raise an eyebrow, challenging him to continue even though you’d already demonstrated that you were the one in control, not him. “Why do you keep talking so damn much?”
“Because I’m stalling,” you acknowledge with a nonchalant shrug, the tension finally beginning to ease from your shoulders. Without a sound and completely unknown to the man at the counter, Joshua has slipped into the diner like a shadow and takes the stool next to him.
“And because she’s smart as a whip,” he adds, giving you a wink that melts your nerves instantly. He’s wearing Balenciaga today; you don’t think you’ll ever get used to seeing him wear the same brands you studied in classes.
“I noticed that,” the stranger concedes, a little exasperated. He extends his hand, a Dior bracelet on his wrist, and you shake it like you’d bested him in a chess match. “Jeonghan.”
“Nice to meet you,” you reply. “How’s the coffee?”
“Surprisingly good, though that might just be because I’m scared you’ll keep talking at me if I say otherwise.”
“I haven’t told her what a Sector is yet, by the way,” Joshua mumbles and Jeonghan frowns.
“Oh. Oops.” Joshua’s attention shifts to his friend, who he indignantly swats with his hand.
“Hey, is this why you insisted on leaving before me? Because you wanted to interrogate the nice girl from the diner?” Jeonghan shrugs and smiles like a kid caught elbow-deep in the cookie jar.
“Yes, except she kept me from interrogating her by insisting I try their waffles,” Jeonghan corrects. “She didn’t tell me anything because I couldn’t ask anything.” You feel an odd sense of pride knowing that you’d successfully protected what little information you knew about Joshua and his friends. Jeonghan had given you a test, and you’d passed it simply because you refused to follow his guidelines. “I like her.”
“He’s annoyed you beat him at his own game, don’t be fooled,” Joshua says. “Can I still get my usual even though my friend tried to scare you?”
“Only if I’m allowed to know what a Sector is and what kind of meetings you’ve been in all week,” you counter, though you’re already pouring him his usual cup and putting in the order of hashbrowns. But, as soon as you open your mouth to continue, two simultaneous notifications light up their phones that have Jeonghan bolting out without so much as a goodbye. Joshua lingers, apologizing profusely and tossing a stack of bills onto the counter before running out after his friend. You’re left standing behind the counter with $150 in tips and a crushing feeling of disappointment.
You don’t see Joshua for two days, and the circumstances in which you serve him again are less than ideal, being that there was a man with a gun in the kitchen ready to kill you as soon as you signaled that something was wrong.
—
It was well past midnight and nearing closing time when you popped into the kitchen to ask the cook a question. The other waitress was gone, as was the second cook who only stayed during the busier dinner rushes, leaving just you and the late-night cook as the only workers in the diner. When you swung open the metal door, you expected to find the cook scrubbing the grill or stowing away vegetables for the following day. What you didn’t expect was to see him frozen in fear, the barrel of a gun pressed to his temple by a tall man you didn’t recognize. He was dressed in a black three-piece suit and a recent-looking scar ran from his right ear down to his chin. He’d introduced himself as Gordon, his demeanor too calm for this to simply be a random robbery. No, this was planned.
This was purposeful.
“In ten minutes, Joshua Hong will walk through the door and place his usual order. You will put that into his coffee, and you will leave,” Gordon commanded, nodding at the unassuming pink packet sitting on the kitchen counter in front of you. “If you refuse or call for help, I will shoot this cook and slit your throat right in front of that jackass Hong and all his Sector friends.” Your heart races in your ears and you swallow several times to keep from blacking out completely. The poor cook is weeping, eyes squeezed shut and prayers whispered through trembling lips.
“What’s in the packet?” You dare to ask, your voice no louder than a whisper.
“Just sugar,” Gordon sneers, “and arsenic.”
“Why?” You snarl and you see the muscle in Gordon’s jaw tighten. His finger unlatches the safety and he presses the barrel further against the cook’s head.
“None of your fucking business, that’s why,” he spits. “Maybe your shithead boyfriend will tell you before the poison kicks in.”
“How do you know he’ll be here?”
“My guys have been tailing him since the first time he visited. One of his members just shot my fucking candidate and we almost caught their ass. He’ll be looking for some comfort, the same way he has after all the hearings. Too bad for him, because I’m not gonna let him kill my guy and get away with it, and you are gonna help me.” You had no idea what he was talking about, but you don’t have a chance to stall for time again because Gordon’s patience runs out. He shoves the cook forward and forces you back towards the door. “Get out there. I’ve got six men ready to finish the job if you won’t. Do your job and fuck off.”
Your vision is fading in and out at the edges, but you pocket the sugar packet with shaking fingers and position yourself behind the counter, like normal. Just as Gordon said, half a dozen men are scattered across the diner. Some sit in the booths, some alone at the tables, but all of them are in a position where they could listen to whatever conversation is spoken at the counter. Someone–you assume Gordon–tugs the curtain typically scrunched at the side of the kitchen window to hide the dining room’s view of the kitchen. You had no idea what would be going on in the kitchen from now on. The cook could be dead, for all you know, and you’re stuck out in the dining room with nothing but your wit and the damn jukebox to keep you safe. You screw your eyes shut and take a deep breath, willing yourself to wake up from this nightmare. But when you open your eyes again, you’re still gripping the counter until your knuckles turn white. Movement through the window catches your eye.
Joshua.
An idea occurs to you and you move as calmly but quickly as you’re able, fishing out the power cord from behind the jukebox and plugging it into the outlet on the wall. It hums to life and the men around the dining room barely give you a second glance. Good. You scan through the song list until one stands out, if only for the lyrics that seem to resound a little too well with your situation: “Suspicious Minds” by Elvis Presley. You hear him open the door while you’re still facing the jukebox and, trembling, press the play button.
We’re caught in a trap…
“Long time no see,” you say as evenly as you can, handing him a menu even though you know he doesn’t need it. You needed to stall for time, to give him a second to figure out that the jukebox was on and that something was very wrong.
I can't walk out…
“It has been,” he confirms and you take note of how tired he looks. He runs a hand through his hair and you catch the bags under his eyes, the way he looks like he hasn’t eaten since the last time he was in the same stool at your counter.
“I’m glad you’re here.” Without thinking, you reach out and briefly cover his hand with yours. His hand is cold but soft, and you brush your fingertips over the exposed skin of his wrist not covered by his coat sleeve. Joshua’s head lifts slowly and you pray he can read the panic in your eyes.
“Everything okay?” He asks in measured syllables. From your peripheral vision, Gordon’s men listen in and wait for you to make a wrong move.
Because I love you too much, baby…
“Of course,” you reply too brightly, jerking your hand away like touching him had given you an electric shock. The action makes his stomach churn. “It’s just very good to see you.” Joshua’s eyes scan your face and he twists the ring on his pinky, a habit you’d noticed he did whenever he was thinking of what to say. “Can I get you your usual?”
Why can’t you see…
“You know me so well,” he answers cautiously.
“I would say that we’re friends at this point, don’t you think?” You hum along with the song and crack open the door to the kitchen, calling for an order of hashbrowns that you know won’t be cooked. When you turn back to him, Joshua’s face has fallen into a full frown. He’s only known you for a little over a week, but Joshua Hong is an observant man. For one, you haven’t handed him a menu since the third day because you already know his order, but you did tonight. The kitchen, which usually rang with the sound of scrubbing dishes or the hiss of meat on the grill, is eerily quiet, as is the rest of the diner and its six other occupants. You never call out orders through the kitchen door; the window to the kitchen is never closed.
And you never turn on Elvis on the jukebox.
“Interesting song choice,” he notes, watching you carefully. You nod once.
“I’m glad you noticed.”
“Any particular reason?”
“Just one of those nights, I guess,” you conclude, slowly pouring his cup of coffee. You tear the packet of sugar and pour it at an angle where you’re sure he can see it, and you know that he knows something is off because he doesn’t immediately take a sip when you place it in front of him.
“How’s that group presentation going, by the way? The one for your analytics class?” He asks in a light tone, and you see him start to scribble something on what you think is another business card from the Continental.
“Same old, same old. You have an idea for how something is gonna go and then all of a sudden, someone else wants to completely go another direction.” One of Gordon’s men clears his throat and you see him squint suspiciously at what Joshua could possibly be writing for the waitress at some cheap diner. “We’re supposed to finish up and present next week, but I have no idea what is going through the other group members’ heads. You think you know a person,” you huff a little cynically. He’s still writing, probably trying to send you a message because he knows you can’t say what’s going on out loud. You gently grab Joshua’s wrist to still his hand and shake your head, subtly enough for him to see it but not enough for Gordon’s men to catch it too.
“Yeah,” he adds and sets down the pen. He crumples the card in his fist and shoves it in his pocket. “I guess you have to be careful with what you know about people.”
“I’ve enjoyed getting to know you, though,” you reply. It sounds like a goodbye. He’s caught on to the fact that you’re not speaking openly, and that’s the nail in the coffin. “Hey, have your meetings finished since I saw you last?”
“They did, and I actually got a new job.”
“Oh, wow!” You gape, genuinely surprised. “Congratulations; I’m really happy for you.”
“I appreciate it. Our little talks every day have kept me human.” You pause.
“What do you mean?”
“The meetings I’ve been in, they were kind of like…hearings, I guess? A little more intense than a job interview and with a lot fewer candidates as competition. All of it was super tiring, but I looked forward to seeing you after every one.” Your heart flutters in spite of the danger sitting just a few feet away. He liked seeing you, maybe as much as you liked seeing him. Great. You’ve fallen in love with a guy who could be a hitman. Probably a hitman.
Definitely a hitman.
“I’m glad I could offer some reprieve.” Your eyes flicker back down at the coffee growing cold on the counter. So there was some truth in what Gordon had told you about the hearings and the candidates; the part about assassinating Joshua’s competition, you weren’t so sure about, but you did know that the longer you stayed in the diner, the less likely you were to leave it alive. You knew Joshua had received your warning that something was wrong, but you still had information that could be helpful before you left. “You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about your friend with the funny name you told me about. What was it, Terrence? Turbulence?” Joshua goes deathly still, his eyes darkening in a way that sends a chill down your back.
“Terminus?” Your smile strains, but the way Joshua’s voice becomes sharper tells you that you’d remembered his friends correctly, since Terminus was the one they called when a situation went sideways and they needed backup.
“Yeah, him! I was just thinking about how funny his name is, and how he might like to meet some of my other friends with funny names. A lot of them live around here.” An innocent conversation to Gordon’s men, but Joshua catches on to your meaning immediately.
“Yeah?” He says, his voice dropping dangerously low. “How many friends?”
“Maybe half a dozen in the immediate area, but one actually lives right behind my place. I wouldn’t bother him, though, since he tends to be a little…restrictive.” Joshua nods and sends two texts on his phone. He hasn’t taken a single sip of coffee. The other men in the diner shift in their seats.
“I see. Do you still need a ride home?” You hesitate for only a second at the question he’s never asked before. “I know you asked a few days ago because you said your roommate would be out of town.” You’d said no such thing, but he’d taken your lies and was seamlessly weaving in his own to keep suspicion low until you were safe.
“Yeah, a ride home would be great. You know how this place gets at night,” you chuckle without humor.
“Sounds good. My friend’s waiting at the curb and he’ll take you where you need to go,” he says. You breathe out shakily, your resolve cracking just a fraction. The cook was still in danger, even if you escaped.
“What about your order in the kitchen?” His phone lights up and for the first time, he shows you the messages.
TERMINUS [12:27 A.M.]
kitchen is secured
cook is unconscious but alive
get her out and i’ll clean up the rest with you
Another notification appears.
SATURN [12:28 A.M.]
gordon’s got guys on the roof across the street
dino is taking care of them now
i’ll get her safely to the hotel
just tell her to hurry up bc i’m wasting gas and this is cheol’s car
“See? I’ve got a friend picking it up like a DoorDash order. It’s all under control,” he reassures you and you believe him. He reaches out and takes your shaking hand, squeezing it once. “Don’t look back, no matter what you hear,” he murmurs. His voice becomes even softer, barely loud enough for you to hear. “I won’t let them hurt you. Go.” Your head feels like it’s in a daze, but your feet carry you out the door, past Gordon’s men who move to surround Joshua at the counter, and toward the idling car just outside the front entrance. You duck into the passenger seat and have just enough time to jump at the sound of the first gunshot before Jeonghan slams his foot on the gas pedal.
—
The car pulls up to the cobblestone roundabout of the Los Angeles Continental after an awkwardly quiet twenty minute drive, and a valet attendant offers you his hand as you step out of the vehicle. You have to crane your neck upward and even then, you can't see the top of the hotel through the thick cloud coverage of the night. A long carpet walkway leads to the spinning doors of the front entrance, lined with gold stancheons and more velvet ropes. Jeonghan tosses the attendant the car keys without a word and leads you away with a gentle hand on your shoulder.
“Don't be scared. We own this building,” he murmurs, nodding politely at the staff flanking the main entrance.
“What do you mean, own?” You whisper back as you pass through the rotating door and step inside the hotel. The lobby is comfortably warm in both temperature and atmosphere, its furniture and marble floors bathed in golden yellow light from the numerous chandeliers hanging overhead. The architecture shines with the luxury and opulence of Old Hollywood, and you feel underdressed walking next to Jeonghan and his tailored black suit.
“Why do you think Joshua was in all those meetings? To be a pool cleaner?” Jeonghan replies with a smug smirk. “I know you can pull strings in conversations. Business is business, right? We just do that on a…larger scale.” You're approaching the concierge desk before you can ask another question. The woman behind the desk gives you both a friendly smile.
“Welcome back, Mr. Yoon. Shall I have a room prepared for your guest?”
“No need, I'll have her stay in the manager's suite. Can you let me know when the rest of my members arrive?”
“Of course, sir. Mr. Chwe, Mr. Lee, and Mr. Boo have all called ahead,” she affirms before turning to you. Her eyes are kind in a way that catches you off guard. “Please let us know if there’s anything we can do to make your stay more comfortable, Miss Salacia.” You shoot Jeonghan a puzzled look. Who the hell is Salacia?
“Let's go. Joshua and Jun should be finishing up soon,” Jeonghan says, guiding you to the elevators in a corner of the lobby. He punches in a code–150526, you note–that sends you smoothly up to what you assume to be the penthouse at the topmost floor of the hotel. You stare at the floor while Jeonghan hums along to the quiet jazz playing through the speaker.
“Am I allowed to ask questions yet?” You ask softly, the adrenaline of the night wearing off and leaving you emotionally exhausted.
“You can ask me all you want, but I think it'd be better to hear it from him,” Jeonghan replies coolly and you nod. “There's a bathroom in the master suite that you can use to shower. I'll have housekeeping send up a fresh set of pajamas.”
“Is it not safe for me to go home?”
“Gordon used you, a civilian, in an assassination attempt against a Sector member. This isn't a matter we take lightly,” he explains. The elevator chimes brightly and the doors slide open to reveal the largest living room you've ever seen. Jeonghan strolls in like he lives there and flops unceremoniously on the leather sofa that took up a third of the space, throwing his arms backward to sprawl out like a starfish. “Truthfully, you can leave at any time you wish, but your safety is guaranteed as long as you stay here.” A flash of frustration flares in your chest.
“How? How do I know Gordon won't come up that elevator and kill me for not finishing the job he forced me into?” You stay rooted in place just in front of the elevator doors, arms crossed across your chest. Jeonghan blinks an eye open and glares like you'd personally offended him.
“One: High Table rules forbid business from being conducted on Continental grounds. Two: I'm here. Self explanatory. Three: Joshua has told me, verbatim, that he will shoot anyone who looks at you too long.” You chew the inside of your cheek, unconvinced.
“That seems too good to be true.” Jeonghan pulls himself up to look at you properly.
“If you still don't believe me, I've got eleven more reasons on their way to the hotel right now.” On cue, the hotel phone on the table cuts the tension with a shrill ring and you flinch. “That should be Orcus, Mercury, and Janus. Go ahead and shower; everyone should be here by the time you're done.”
“Jeonghan?” Your voice is more watery than you want it to be.
“Hmm?”
“My life isn't gonna go back to normal after this, is it?” His eyes soften and he sighs. There's something akin to pity on his expression.
“No, it won't. I would say I’m sorry, but words won’t fix the mess you’ve been brought into.” He hops up and pushes open another huge door down the hall on your left. “Bedroom's just through here. Go on and get cleaned up.”
“Thank you,” you murmur as you pass him. He bows at the waist like a knight to a queen.
“Of course, Salacia.”
—
From THE HIGH TABLE SECTOR COMMANDMENTS
“I: Your Sector shall pledge loyalty to none except the High Table.”
The metallic smell of blood sits heavy on his tongue. Broken plates and red-stained cutlery litter the checkered linoleum. The 1930s cake stand that you always theorized was radioactive is shattered on the floor, its halves having been slammed into the collarbone of one of the six bodies slumped at his feet. There’s an incessant ringing in his ears and his gun is somewhere behind the counter, thrown after he emptied the magazine as Jeonghan’s car peeled away from the curb. Through the open kitchen door and the back exit that Jun had left open, he can hear Gordon protesting as the former tosses him into the trunk of his car like a sack of potatoes. Taking lives didn’t affect Joshua anymore, not after ten years he’d been fighting alongside Seungcheol and training under Kronos. These bodies, however, felt different. You weren’t here, but he felt you all the same. He was carrying the weight of your interactions as he fought, your smile that he so desperately wanted to protect broadcast at the front of his mind. He couldn’t be in this place without thinking of you. He couldn’t kill in this place without thinking he was tainting something sacred. And in a way, he has.
“She’s in the manager’s suite now,” Jun informs him. Joshua nods once, his neck stiff. The manager’s suite, though technically his, didn’t feel like home. He briefly wonders if having you in it would make it feel that way, and then the dead men around him remind him that you could never be someone he considers home. “Coups is waiting. Wonwoo, Mingyu, and Seokmin will get there shortly after us.”
“Dino?”
“Already there.”
“What about janitorial?”
“Jeonghan called. They’ll be here soon, so we should clear out.”
“Yeah,” Joshua agrees, but makes no move toward the door. His expression is blank, his tone empty. “And Kronos?” Jun’s mouth draws into a thin line.
“Coups still doesn’t want us talking to him, so I didn’t call.” Right. There’d been some sort of fallout between Seungcheol and their mentor, but he didn’t know the details. Kronos would probably know what to do in this situation, but it was also likely that he would tell Joshua to just get rid of you entirely, which was not on the table.
“Jun.”
“Yes, hyung?”
“I appreciate you coming,” he states.
“Well, ‘one fall, all fall,’ right?” Jun replies with a wry smile. “I understand, though,” he adds, his tone becoming almost sorrowful. “Beyond Gordon, beyond the Sector. I understand wanting someone like her. Wanting peace.” Joshua’s jaw tightens. He forgot, sometimes, that he wasn’t the first in his Sector to make the mistake of falling in love.
Jun’s relationship had ended in a literal trainwreck; Seungcheol barely mentioned the sniper who Joshua suspected was the reason he’d fallen out with Kronos; Minghao’s attachment to the woman who slipped through the shadows was borderline codependent; Jeonghan and the one they called Ops danced around each other like propeller blades. And everyone knew about Vernon’s hopeless crush on Flora. Whether they liked it or not, SECTOR 17 was simply not meant for love, and Joshua was no exception.
“How’d you get over it?” Joshua asks defeatedly. Jun’s eyes are steely and the words fall heavy onto Joshua’s chest.
“I haven’t.” Jun waits for a moment more for Joshua to give him a request; when he doesn’t, he turns on his heel and heads to the back lot where his car is parked. It’s another minute longer before his body regains sensation again and he walks like a ghost to his blue Mustang. It hums under his fingertips as he starts down the street for the Continental, Jun’s car pulling into his rearview mirror like the steady reassurance he always was.
You’re nowhere to be found in when he’s parked in the Continental lot and taken the elevator up to the penthouse, his penthouse. Instead, all of SECTOR 17 is waiting for him, lounging on his sofas or sprawled out on the cashmere rug. Teacups dot the coffee table among loaded pistols, butterfly knives, and Vernon’s favorite kunai. If he strains his ears, he can just barely make out the sound of the plumbing running as you shower in the master bathroom. The members carry with them the smell of gunpowder and fragrant cologne, a drastic change from the blood and bacon grease of the diner. When he steps out of the elevator, the mumbled conversation quiets and everyone looks to Seungcheol.
“Are you hurt?” Their leader’s voice is clipped, but he still asks the same question that he asks of all of them every time they meet. Joshua shakes his head. Wonwoo hands him a bandage for a cut on his forehead.
“No.”
“Sit.” He does, squeezing between Jeonghan and Vernon. “What happened?” Joshua’s eyes briefly find Dino, and then stare back at Seungcheol.
“Gordon blackmailed a civilian at the diner to slip poison into my coffee,” Joshua explains. “She warned me, I called in Jun, and Jeonghan brought her here, to the hotel. Jun and I took out the guys Gordon had sent in as backup.”
“Why didn’t you drive her home?” Seungcheol asks Jeonghan, who shrugs. He was the only one who could seem so relaxed around Seungcheol, though his eyes remained sharp as ever.
“Gut feeling,” Jeonghan replies. “Didn’t seem safe, just in case she had a tail on her too.”
“And did she?” Seungcheol continues. Jeonghan glances at Dino.
“She did,” the youngest and newest member to the Sector answers. “They were waiting on the roof across from the diner. They were probably under orders to follow her home, and…” Dino’s voice trails off and Joshua clenches his fist so tightly, his nails sink into the flesh of his palm until it stings. “It’s safest for her to be here, in any case,” Dino adds and the room can feel the weight of his wrong answer settle over them like a storm cloud.
“In any case?” Seungcheol repeats, his voice tight. “The only case that should be is that Atlas should be dead, Gordon should be gone, and there’s not a civilian in the bathroom who knows about our organization,” he seethes. “Only one of those things is true about our situation, and you, Joshua, are the one who put us here.”
“Hyung–” Dino tries to begin, but Mingyu is quick to shut him up with a hand over his mouth. It’d do none of them any good to have Coups’ anger directed at two targets.
“She’s not stupid,” Joshua argues. “She won’t go running her mouth off to anybody about anything I’ve told her.”
“And the problem is that you told her,” Seungcheol retaliates. “You shouldn’t have been in that diner after the first attempt to take out Atlas failed. That wasn’t part of the plan.”
“Well, neither was Dino failing, but we all have to improvise, Cheol.” Dino winces and Vernon’s hand finds Joshua’s shoulder. He hadn’t realized he had been standing, his body moving of its own accord in his anger. The other members are just as tense, but none reach for their weapons. He sinks back onto the sofa, eyes flaming and body itching to punch something. Whether that was the wall or his friend that he’d been training with for a decade, it didn’t matter. “Atlas is dead. Gordon is captured. I’m manager of a damn Continental. What more do you want me to say?”
“I want you to think about how your actions could reflect on the rest of us. Think about it. Our strength, our power, our position? It comes from the fact that we do not waver when it comes to the underworld. Falling in love is wavering, and we do not waver.” Jun and Minghao straighten their shoulders. Everyone has a feeling that Seungcheol might be projecting, but no one has the courage to say anything, not even Jeonghan. Jeonghan, whose eyes have narrowed on the doorway of the hall that leads to the master bedroom. No one else takes notice.
“I just wanted to be normal, for once,” Joshua protests. “Can’t I have that? After everything I’ve given you and this Sector?”
“You gave that up when I watched you kill for the first time,” Seungcheol fires back.
“She’s a civilian, Cheol–”
“And you’re a fucking hitman!” Seungcheol’s anger explodes outward and the entire Sector are on their feet in less than a second. Mingyu and Soonyoung snag their leader’s arms while Vernon forces himself between the two, effectively blocking Joshua from swinging on Seungcheol. “You’re a fucking hitman and she’s not. You kill people. She doesn’t.” Seungcheol jabs his finger forward and Joshua feels it on his chest, even if they don’t make physical contact. “Your life and her life, our lives are not meant to overlap,” he snaps. “You risk compromising all of our identities because of a single girl.”
“Maybe I wanted to, then. Maybe I’m tired of how I’ve been living for the past ten years,” Joshua spits and it hits Seungcheol like a knife to the ribs. Everyone is arguing now, some calling for everyone to take a break while others begin choosing sides. In the heat of the conversation, Jeonghan is the only one who notices that the noise of the shower has stopped.
—
The serene silence of the en suite bathroom is shattered as soon as you're done washing up and successfully changed into the silk pajamas left on the giant bed; you can hear at least ten raised voices in heated conversation just outside, even with the bedroom door completely shut. You crack open the door and creep the few feet down the hallway that obscures you from view, catching parts of an argument that must have started while you were in the shower.
“You were stupid. Admit it, and we can move the fuck on,” barks a rough voice that you don't recognize.
“Seungcheol, you're being a hypocrite,” Jeonghan argues and you hear the former growl.
“No, Jeonghan. It’s fine. I'll acknowledge it, if it means we can get on with our lives,” corrects Joshua tersely. You exhale, the tiniest bit of relief washing over you. He was alive, enough to be arguing with all of his friends. Not the best circumstances, but at least Gordon didn't get the best of him. “I'm a fucking idiot. I met a girl. I thought she was beautiful. I wanted to keep seeing her.” Your cheeks burn at his honesty. Well, shit. He thought you were beautiful. Maybe you weren't as delusional as you thought, though your feelings didn't seem as important as the fact that you were used as an accomplice to attempted murder. “I like her. I like her a lot. I was stupid because of it. I don't know what else you want me to say.” It seems that no one else does, either, because there's a solid minute and a half of silence until someone speaks again.
“So what now, Coups?”
“Joshua unintentionally brought a civilian into Sector affairs. There's nothing in our Commandments to deal with this.”
“She knows our aliases. She knows both Joshua and Jeonghan’s true names. She knows we control the hotel. There were guys who would tail her after she got off work. The bottom line is, she knows too much to simply go back to living normally.”
“But she's still far removed enough that we can get her out.” Jeonghan's voice. He was advocating for you.
“There are six reasons lying in the diner that suggest otherwise.” You fight the wave of nausea that hits you at the idea of lifeless bodies on the floor you mop every shift.
“Where exactly did you end up putting Gordon, Jun?”
“The Hollywood-and-Vine safehouse behind the Pantages. He’s alive as long as we want him to be,” the voice who you think belongs to Jun answers. If he knew Gordon was there, then he must’ve taken out the others with Joshua. Hello, Terminus.
“Gordon’s not the only one affected by Dino taking out Atlas. Even if we completely cut ties, there's no way to guarantee her safety because she's already been too involved with us, no matter what we do.” Another tense beat of silence.
“There is one way we can bring her in while also letting her continue her life peacefully,” Jeonghan begins.
“She would never agree to that.” Joshua's voice is tight.
“How could you be sure?”
“I'm not bringing her further into this shitshow,” Joshua grits.
“You said she's studying business; it could be helpful for the hotel if she–”
“No.”
“This is the bed you made, Joshua Hong,” Seungcheol declares, his voice exhausted. “Membership in the Sector might be the only way to give her as normal of a life as possible and the fastest way to clean up your mess.”
“I'm slow, what are we talking about?”
“The marriage clause, Dino. If she marries into the Sector, she gets the protections of membership while still having the freedom to live as she wishes. The same way no one touches us because they don’t want to risk the other members’ retribution, no one in their right mind would go after her.” The remainder of their conversation is lost to the ringing in your ears and the dark spots blotting into your field of vision. How did meeting a random hot guy at work turn into marriage as your only way to stay alive?
And why were you actually considering it?
“I'm sure she has thoughts on all of this, now that she knows her options,” Jeonghan comments, his voice now directed toward the exact place you were eavesdropping in the hall. A shiver runs down your body. You knew he was talking to you rather than the others. “I know you have words for us, Salacia.”
“Who are you talking to, Jeonghan?”
“The shower turned off a long time ago, my friends.” The living room falls dead silent and you swallow down the bile rising in your throat. You can feel all their eyes watching the entrance to the hallway where you were hiding, waiting for you to make an appearance. Gathering your courage and steeling your nerves, you take the last two steps and enter the yellow light of the living room.
Joshua's on his feet as soon as you’re visible, crossing the space in three long strides. The world seems to slow as you take in his appearance. There’s a shadow across his eyes that you’ve never seen in his expression before. The top two buttons of his dress shirt are undone and his sleeves are rolled to the elbow. Bruises scatter across his knuckles and a bandage holds shut a cut on his forehead. When he’s in front of you, his hands hover next to the side of your face but refuse to make contact. His eyes flicker back and forth across your face and he’s the most unreadable he’s ever been to you. Jeonghan clears his throat. Joshua turns to face his friends and positions himself like a shield in front of you. Your hand finds a spot between his shoulder blades and you rub your thumb back and forth comfortingly against the silken fabric.
“Hello,” you greet as steadily as possible and step out from behind his shoulder, your hand moving from his back to his arm. You offer your name like a peace offering to the others. A few of them nod in greeting. “I'll be part of further conversations, seeing as what I decide may very well dictate the rest of my life.” Jeonghan’s mouth twitches.
“I can take you home right now. You don't need to stay,” Joshua murmurs and you shake your head.
“No. You've kept me out of your world long enough. I'm right where I need to be,” you promise. He thinks for a moment longer and takes your hand to lead you to sit in the living room. Joshua’s hand stays in yours as you settle next to Jeonghan; the latter bumps his shoulder against yours and sends you a small smile. “Now, is there a contract printed out, or should we just grab the notepad from the master suite nightstand?”
—
From THE HIGH TABLE SECTOR COMMANDMENTS
“VII: Sector membership shall increase only through fulfilled contracts. Should membership increase through matrimony, the spouse must also fulfill a contract.”
“And lastly, you’ll have access to all physical and liquid assets belonging to Joshua and the Los Angeles Continental, should you wish to use them,” Janus–no, Vernon–declares, writing out the final bullet point on the hastily-retrieved notepad outlining the terms and conditions of your membership in SECTOR 17. The Sector members, who you’d been introduced to in a rapid-fire test of your knowledge of the Greek and Roman pantheons, were unexpectedly welcoming. Not everyone openly threw around jokes like Seokmin, but none of them blamed you for the situation you’d found yourself in; if anything, they were grateful that you’d taken the riskier option to warn Joshua rather than kill him and move on. You’d saved their brother’s life, and they had their own ways of showing their gratitude in kind.
Minghao brought you a cup of tea without asking.
Vernon asked you what music you had on the jukebox before explaining the marriage clause.
Mingyu tossed you a pillow to hold when he saw you were fidgeting with your free hand.
Jun silently showed you short videos of cats during breaks when a member had to pee.
Jeonghan bumped his shoulder against yours whenever he saw your eyes starting to space out.
And Joshua? He never took his eyes off of you for more than ten seconds, always watching to make sure you were comfortable and felt safe. His hand was steady in yours, but he didn’t smile. His jaw remained tight, his eyes storming when he thought you weren’t looking. On the outside, he was using every ounce of his willpower to remain composed; but on the inside, he loathed putting you in this situation. His members were kind, but he couldn’t help but wish you were meeting them under different circumstances.
“That’s fine. Whatever you want is yours,” Joshua agrees immediately and heat rushes to your face. Seungkwan and Mingyu smile at his earnestness; they haven’t seen him like this in a long time. None of them have, at least not since the random fling he had when they were in their teens and they’d first banded together as a sanctioned alliance under the High Table, a Sector. It never progressed into anything beyond a few stolen kisses because she ended up being a spy for a rival Sector, but they knew deep down that their older brother was hopelessly romantic.
“Okay. All that’s left is your signature, then,” Vernon concludes, placing the sleek fountain pen in front of you. “Oh, and eliminating Gordon if you go through with joining,” he adds and your heart stutters.
Eliminating Gordon. Right.
That was the final condition of your membership in SECTOR 17, the same task the rest of the members had to complete in order to join: kill an adversary to the Sector. In your case, it was a no-brainer; they had an enemy of the Sector practically ready for you on a silver platter at the Hollywood-Vine safehouse.
Seungcheol clears his throat and stands, brushing imaginary dust from his pants.
“We’ll be in the lounge,” is all the leader says before approaching the elevator, the rest of the members following his lead like they were extensions of his own body. Jihoon, Minghao, and Jun nod in farewell as they pass. Soonyoung, Seokmin, and Seungkwan wave as they leave, whispering see you soon and nice to meet you on their way out. Vernon gives you a thumbs-up. Wonwoo and Mingyu share a knowing look. Dino is the second to last to leave, hurrying after his brothers while they try to close the elevator before he can hop in. Jeonghan bumps your shoulder one last time before he’s on his feet as well, leaving you and Joshua on the couch staring at the creased notepad that would change the course of your life.
The room feels too big without the rest of the members there to fill in the space.
Joshua reluctantly releases your hand, silently indicating that the decision you make is yours and yours alone.
To marry or not to marry. To kill or not to kill.
If you refused, you could return to the monotony of your greasy diner, your roommate, and your masters degree, living the rest of your life pretending that you didn’t brush shoulders with feared hitmen…and that you’d never crossed paths with the most perfect man you’d ever met. You’d spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder for Gordon’s henchmen who might seek revenge, but your hands would be clean of the criminal underworld. You’d be free of them by simply doing nothing.
But if you agreed, you’d be falling in with men who ended lives as naturally as breathing. The blood on their hands would splatter on yours as well. You could keep your job and continue your degree, if you wished, but you’d be expected to attend all Sector engagements and assist in the management of the Continental. You’d have wealth beyond your comprehension and protection via the members and the reputations they carry, but you’d still have a theoretical target on your back from rival Sectors and those that viewed SECTOR 17 with disdain. Your life would be bound to them, the same way their lives were bound to one another. It was freedom in a different sense, and you’d have him with you.
To have that life, you would have to take a life.
“How does this usually happen?” You ask, looking sideways at Joshua. He stares at the polished wood of the coffee table. “I mean, I imagine you’re not all married to each other, though I'm sure sometimes it feels like it.” Your attempt at lighthearted banter falls short.
“Kwan and Jun act as scouts, in a way,” Joshua begins, his voice heavy. “One’s our messenger and the other comes whenever we call. They move around the most, so they’re able to catch wind of people that could be good for the Sector. Those two tell Seungcheol, Seungcheol sends Vernon to offer membership. We've been trying to get Dino for eight years, and he only recently became an official member.”
“You offer membership by giving them a target,” you clarify.
“By giving them a target,” he echoes. You inhale and exhale shakily.
“Do I get to choose how?” How to kill Gordon is the part you don’t finish. His head snaps to you.
“You’re not actually considering…” His voice trails off and your indignance rears its head.
“What happened to ‘That’s fine, whatever you want is yours?’ I was under the impression that you’d be supporting me, whatever I choose,” you challenge.
“I am,” he insists, running a hand through his hair. “I support whatever you choose, I do.”
“Then why does it feel like you can’t tell whether to let me stay or let me go?”
“Because I don’t want you to go, but I can’t live with you staying,” Joshua seethes in frustration. His voice is raised but not quite yelling, and you watch his restraint deteriorate the longer you delay your decision. He’s on his feet, pacing across the living room rug like a caged animal.
“It’s not up to you whether I stay or go,” you fire back. “I’m the one who Gordon used to strike against the Sector.”
“I know, I know. But I can’t look at you–I can’t marry you–without thinking that I’m the reason your life changed. That you had to kill a man because I couldn’t stay away from you.”
“Why couldn’t you?”
“What?” Joshua’s voice is broken, like you’d just asked him to kill you himself.
“Why couldn’t you stay away? Why did you keep coming into the diner after the first day? And don’t tell me it was to get your mind off the hearings for the managerial position, because I know that’s only half the truth. What’s the other half?” You can see him searching for a way to get out of this, something to placate you, but there was nothing he could say. Everything was out in the open now.
“The first time I came in,” he begins slowly, “I needed a place that was public so that Dino could take out the candidate Gordon was backing, Atlas, without rousing suspicion. Atlas was supposed to die that first night I was in the diner, but something happened that we couldn’t control; plans changed and Dino ended up killing Atlas later than we scheduled. It…messed a lot of things up.” You think back to when you first met Jeonghan, how they’d both rushed from the restaurant at the same time.
“Was it when I met Jeonghan?”
“It was when you met Jeonghan,” he confirms. “Gordon was never supposed to know, but he found out that it was us because the timing was off. That’s why we ran out in a hurry and disappeared for two days; we had to clean up Atlas’ death.”
“Was Atlas the only candidate that could have defeated you for this position?” He nods. The pieces fall into place. “So if I understand this correctly, Dino killed Atlas to secure the Continental for the Sector.” Another nod. “They would suspect it was SECTOR 17, because you and Atlas were the most viable candidates, which was why whoever was tailing you followed you to the diner…where you met me.”
“I could have laid low after the first attempt to kill Atlas failed. I should have laid low, but I didn’t because I feel human when I’m with you, and I wanted to chase that feeling as long as I could. Gordon tried to use you because he saw that you were important to me.” Your face cracks a sad smile.
“Did meeting me fuck up the plan to kill Atlas?”
Joshua hesitates, releasing a trembling exhale.
“Very much so.”
“I see.” You’re reaching for the pen before he can stop your hand, before even your mind knows what it’s doing. In the blink of an eye, your signature is scrawled on the crooked line Vernon had drawn at the bottom of the paper, putting the contract into effect. “Then it seems fitting that I be the one to finish what was started.”
All that was left was to pay a visit to the safehouse on Hollywood and Vine.
—
From THE HIGH TABLE SECTOR COMMANDMENTS
“VIII: Membership tasks shall only be witnessed by the Sector leader and, if applicable, its official alliance broker.”
Refusing to confront Gordon while clad in pajamas, the Continental's in-house tailor had graciously lent you a set of clothes and a pair of boots that allowed you to fit in better with the other members. You tug at the sleeves of the black long sleeve tucked into a pressed pair of dress pants, rolling the sleeves up to the elbow. Minghao had tossed you a pair of leather gloves he'd procured from his car's central console before you headed inside the safehouse. The clothes fit like a dream even when you feel obtusely out of place, surrounded by hitmen. At least now, you looked like one of them too.
Presence of the entire Sector wasn’t common when a new member was inducted, but it seemed fitting that they were all in attendance to witness the first use of the marriage clause. Joshua and the rest of the members waited in the parking garage across the street from the safehouse, leaning against the hoods of their expensive cars. A fight had nearly broken out when Jihoon and Soonyoung stepped forward to prevent Joshua from following you into the safehouse, Sector law dictating that only Seungcheol, the leader, and Vernon, the alliance broker, were permitted to witness membership induction tasks. Eyes wide and ready to brawl with half the members, everyone knew that you had Joshua wrapped around your finger because he’d only stood down when you shot him a sharp look.
I’ll be fine, you reassured him. Don’t make this a bigger deal than it already is.
Seungcheol and Vernon follow as you descend the stairs into the mildew-reeking basement where Gordon was being held. Blinking through the darkness, you see there’s hardly anything else in the room beside the chair where Gordon’s hands and ankles are restrained, a few storage boxes and shelves haphazardly tossed in the corner. Vernon flicks a switch next to the stairs and the room illuminates in sterile fluorescent lights. Gordon barks out a laugh when he sees you step into the light, his eyes darting from Seungcheol on your left, Vernon on your right, then back to you. The two Sector members stand a respectful distance away, out of arm’s reach to be handed a firearm. His amusement morphs into brief puzzlement and his gaze lingers on the clear cylindrical plastic case clutched in your gloved fingers. You held no gun, no knife, no rope.
Just the case.
You stare down at Gordon. His entire face is varying shades of purple and blue, and he’s missing at least four of his teeth. His eye is swollen beyond recognition, his lips are stained blood red, and the cartilage of his nose jerks unnaturally to the left. He deserves more for trying to kill Joshua, you think to yourself.
“You look like shit,” you remark coldly. Behind you, Vernon bites his tongue to keep from laughing. “Did Terminus and Neptune give you trouble?”
“If you’re gonna kill me, just get it over with, bitch,” Gordon jeers, lobbing a mouthful of spit at your feet. You barely flinch. “Nothing you can do to me that can scare me.”
“Trying to scare you is a waste of time, and frankly, I don’t care how you feel,” you state.
“This what you do now, Choi?” Gordon calls to Seungcheol, who glares right back but stays in position. This situation was under your control, an ironic turn from feeling powerless after Gordon had blackmailed you at the diner. “Rope in some civilian bitch to do your bidding?” Your hand seizes Gordon’s chin and forces him to look at you.
“This ‘civilian bitch’ does her own bidding,” you snarl, digging your fingers into the flesh of his jaw. “I want information and you’re going to give it to me.”
“Why the fuck would I do that?”
“Because you are going to die tonight. I’m giving you the opportunity to decide if you go peacefully…or painfully,” you explain, handing the plastic case to Vernon. “Janus, would you mind opening this for me so I can show our friend his options?”
“Of course, Salacia,” he replies, a ghost of a smile on his mouth. You pick up the first of two syringes in the case, the one filled with the colorless liquid.
“Do you know what this is, Gordon?”
“Fuck off,” he scowls. You pay his hostility no mind.
“One of my new friends, Somnus, gave it to me. A morphine injection–he said it’s the fastest way for a clean, painless death. This is your first option: die in peace.” You reposition the first syringe in the case and pick up the second one. The liquid in the second one is cyan blue, almost glowing neon under the surgical white fluorescents. “Option number two: antifreeze.” Gordon’s sneer falters. You catch it. “Oh, so you do know what this is?”
“Just shoot me and get it over with, bitch,” he snaps, but you can hear fear starting to seep into his voice.
“That wasn’t one of the options,” you answer calmly, the blue liquid flowing in the tube as you tilt it back and forth. “Somnus had to explain this one to me in a bit more detail. Since you’re already familiar, though, I’ll give you a shorter summary of what dying by antifreeze injection entails. First, you’ll vomit violently and your head will feel like someone is pounding it with a hammer, but you’ll get a brief respite as the toxicity starts to affect your organs. Only for a bit, though, because then the seizures will begin and your kidneys will fail. Very painful, very slow, especially if you’re tied to a chair in a dark basement with no food, water, or hope of rescue.” Gordon’s face pales. His throat bobs as he swallows. “So, do we have an understanding? Or should I just inject the second syringe and be done–”
“No! No, no!” He screams as you take a single step closer. Beads of sweat run down his face and a wet spot has formed at the crotch of his pants. “What–what do you need to know? What do you want?” Interrogation wasn’t originally part of your induction task, but you figure that it was as good of a time as ever to show you weren’t just dead weight Joshua carried around. Marriage be damned, you were going to prove that you wouldn’t keel over at the mention of death. No, you were going to get information for the Sector by doing the one thing you knew how to do best: talk.
“Over the course of the hearings for the new managerial position at the hotel, you were rubbing elbows with some pretty influential people, some of whom might not be too happy that a Sector is now in charge of a Continental.”
“Sectors are a controversial topic,” he stammers. “There’s always been split opinions on sanctioned alliances between hitmen and some think that–”
“Who are those ‘some?’ You and Atlas had allies; you wouldn’t have been able to garner the same amount of support as Joshua without them. Who are those allies?” You know Seungcheol and Vernon are listening more intently now. How could they not, when you were handling your induction task in a way that would benefit the Sector?
“Hong had the support of everyone who’s pro-Sector. Atlas and I, we had barely enough votes.” Seungcheol audibly scoffs at Gordon’s attempt at downplaying their amount of support, and his reaction confirms what you already figured to be true.
“Bullshit,” you spit. “Even if you had fewer supporters, the ones you had must’ve been some pretty powerful people, powerful enough that Orcus had to take out Atlas himself to guarantee that the hotel falls into the right hands.” The conversation wasn’t moving nearly as fast as you wanted it to, so you take the syringe of antifreeze and approach Gordon. He shrieks and tries to scurry away, his feet and torso flailing in the confines of the rickety wooden chair. Your hand is steady as it hovers the point of the needle just above the skin of Gordon’s neck and he goes deathly still. “So, Gordon,” you whisper, “you’re going to tell me who’ll feel threatened by the hotel falling into Sector hands.” Seungcheol gives Vernon an impressed look, and the broker shrugs, like he was silently saying I told you so.
“I can’t,” Gordon whines. “They’ll kill me.”
“Faster than I can sink this needle? I don’t think so,” you counter. “Names. Now.”
“You know the few,” Gordon starts, voice trembling, eyes darting back and forth between you, Vernon, Seungcheol, and the needle pointed at his neck. “The Trinity. Song, Park, and Min are the three with seats at the Table that have been openly anti-Sector since the beginning. They’re bolder now, though, because we have…we got…” His sentence trails off and he heaves a broken sob that turns into a maniacal laugh. Gordon knows he’s been beaten, and delirium was setting in. Seungcheol’s voice comes from over your shoulder, closer than he had previously been standing. His tone is low and lethal, sharp and serrated as a knife.
“Who did you bring in, Gordon? Who turned?”
“K-Kronos,” he whispers. “We had Kronos.” You feel both Seungcheol and Vernon stiffen and the tension in the room becomes palpable.
“That’s not possible,” Vernon doubts. “Why would the King of the Sectors align with you, with the Trinity? You have nothing to offer him.”
“We have perspective,” Gordon hisses manically. “We’ve suffered under the boot of Sectors like you. We’ve seen your power develop, but we’ve also seen the cracks begin to show. It’s only a matter of time before the last straw falls on the camel’s back, and when that happens, your castle will crumble and Kronos alone will be victorious.”
“What’s he planning?” You question. “What role do you serve as a pawn in his game?”
“Sectors are on one path and one path alone: annihilation. It’s coming for all of you,” Gordon cackles, his mouth curling into a twisted smile. “It’s coming for all of you!”
BANG!
The sound of Seungcheol’s Glock 17 firing rings out in the basement. Gordon’s body slumps sideways, lifeless, before you could stick him with either syringe. You look silently at Seungcheol, who’s breathing heavily and still pointing his pistol at Gordon’s corpse. Vernon blinks before setting the syringe case on the floor and fishing a silver signet ring from his jacket pocket. He wordlessly tosses it to you and you slip it onto your left pinky, the Roman numeral three and a dolphin stamped into the metal.
“Welcome to SECTOR 17, Salacia,” Seungcheol declares, though it’s clear his mind is elsewhere. Salacia. Goddess of calm seas and wife to Neptune. Salacia, who’d just unearthed a bombshell of information that the man who’d helped create SECTOR 17 was now trying to destroy it. You were stepping into a much bigger mess than you thought. “What happened in this basement stays in this basement, is that understood?” You and Vernon both nod.
“You should head back. Your husband is probably pacing the parking lot like a madman,” Vernon tells you, tilting his head in the direction of the main level. “Coups and I will handle the body.” You swallow and glance back at the lifeless lump of flesh in the wooden chair. You hadn’t pulled the trigger, but the sight of him sickened you all the same. “You did well. Go.” You hesitate for a moment longer before climbing the stairs, leaving behind the sound of Seungcheol’s tired groan and the creak of the wooden chair being dragged away.
The weight of the night comes crashing down as soon as you drag yourself into the parking garage. Joshua was, in fact, pacing the area like a madman, and he’s in front of you in a blink, ducking his head forward to meet your eyes that refuse to focus.
“Hey, hey, hey. Look at me,” he murmurs.
“He’s–he’s dead,” you choke out. You’re not crying, but the words are caught in your throat all the same. “He’s dead.”
“I know, baby, I know. You’re safe. I’ve got you,” he promises, his voice breaking as he pulls you in. Your arms wind around his neck and you hide your face in his shoulder. Joshua’s hand wipes away the sweat on your forehead, his fingers lingering over your cheek. His attention flits to the signet ring that has appeared on your pinky finger. “You did it,” he says more to himself than to you. You don’t have the energy to tell him otherwise, so you just nod. “Okay. Let’s go home.” Draping his arm over your shoulders, Joshua walks you back toward the rest of the members.
He doesn’t let you look back at the safehouse.
—
It's another rainy Saturday and you're standing at the windows of the penthouse, watching the clouds roll outside. You’ve just finished finalizing looks and sending over measurements to the Continental in Rome, where the members would pick up their suits before the gala the following day. Up until this point, you and Joshua have both been treating your partnership strictly as a marriage of convenience; in fact, it'd taken two months for him to actually start talking to you again after the assassination attempt, the consequent contract in the living room, and the bombshell that dropped during the conversation before Gordon’s sudden death. It was like a switch had flipped as soon as you arrived back at the hotel with the signet ring on your finger; gone was the smiling, charming Joshua that you had known, replaced now by a stoic man who couldn’t look you in the eye when you passed. Any words spoken were single syllable answers and brief wishes of goodnight before you tucked into the master bed that felt too large and he slept on the couch that was too cold.
“Hey,” he says quietly, slipping off his shoes and kicking them next to yours by the elevator doors. You look at him over your shoulder and his breath catches in his throat. You were silhouetted by the city lights reflecting off the raindrops, bathing you in a divine kind of glow that melted the walls he had built to keep you away.
“Hi,” you answer just as softly. He sighs and comes to stand next to you at the window, close enough that you could feel the warmth of his body but far enough to feel wrong. “Are you packed for tomorrow?” In just under twelve hours, Joshua would fly out for the annual Sector anniversary party, a huge celebration commemorating when Sectors were first amended into the High Table’s codices. You would remain at the hotel and act as manager in his absence, a role you’d grown accustomed to after seven months since joining the Sector, moving out of your apartment, and quitting your job at the diner shortly after.
Seven months of sleeping alone in a bed that still didn’t feel like yours, in a penthouse that was too empty without the other members.
Seven months of falling further for a man who hated himself for falling for you.
“Yeah. Thank you, by the way. The sommelier said you requested my handgun be polished before I flew out.”
“I figured you should look your best when you're in front of High Table elites, especially when you inevitably end up pulling a gun on them,” you tease and the corner of his mouth tugs into a smile.
“How do you know we'll end up in such a situation?”
“You're bringing Dino and Soonyoung. I don’t need to be a fortune teller to know how their big mouths can get you all in trouble,” you reply matter-of-factly. Joshua chuckles. He continuously finds himself in awe of you, how easily you've slipped into your position as his right hand and closest confidant, despite barely knowing him for a week when you chose to join SECTOR 17. You listen when he rants about work and always offer the best solutions, but you never have deeper conversations. Seven months, he’d pushed down the ache of loving you by drowning himself in work, killing the part of him that loved you every day only for it to come back the following morning.
“Do you know what day it is?” He asks in a hushed tone. Your eyebrows furrow.
“Saturday?”
“Well yes,” he chuckles, “But I'm talking about beyond that.” You shake your head. “Today marks seven months since I first came into the diner.” You smile, the politely mechanical kind that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re happy. Everything felt politely mechanical for you, lately–talking with customers, managing staff, signing backdoor deals with designer brands to dress SECTOR 17 at the highest standards of fashion.
“Should I ask room service to make us coffee and hashbrowns?”
“If that makes you happy, then sure,” Joshua responds. You stand in silence for a few moments longer, the only sound being raindrops hitting the windowpanes, serendipitously reminiscent of the first day at the diner. “Can I ask you a question?”
Seven months since he’d asked you how you knew about his clothes, four since you’d graduated your masters program and put what you learned into action at the hotel.
“Shoot.”
Seven months since you exchanged that exact series of words.
“Do you ever wish we met under different circumstances?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like, if we met somewhere else and we could have had a normal…courtship.” You stifle a laugh that turns into a snort at the formality of his words.
“Courtship?” You don’t need to guess that the tips of his ears are turning a shade pinker from embarrassment.
“You know what I mean.”
“I don't, actually. Tell me exactly what you mean,” you say, turning to face him properly. You offer him an encouraging smile that he refuses to look at, instead staring at the rain as it comes down in sheets. Seven months, he’s denied himself the luxury of looking at you.
“I wish I could love you as I truly want to,” he whispers and your breath catches. “I wish I could love you without feeling the High Table and the Sector and managerial duties creeping in every time I risk a moment alone with you.”
Seven months of agony.
“Why can't you?”
“Because then I am overwhelmed by the guilt that I forced you into this life…and it keeps me from pulling you closer.” His voice breaks and part of you aches with him. “I wish I could give you normal love, the kind that you deserve and–”
“Stop it,” you hiss and grab him by the collar of his shirt, dragging him toward you and kissing him like you were starving. He freezes for half a second before melting around you, pulling you as close as humanly possible by your hips. Your eyes squeeze shut and your fingers grab at anything they can, raking across the hair on the back of his neck that pulls a groan from his throat. He feels like everything you’d ever wanted, like the other half of your soul that fit in all the places you needed him to. You kiss him until you're lightheaded and rest your forehead against his when you pull away to breathe, panting. Only then do you realize that your hands are shaking, and his have caught yours and pinned them on either side of his neck.
“Why?” He rasps in a tone that makes your knees buckle. “How? How could you still want this, after everything?”
“Because I don't want a normal love, Joshua Hong. I want you and your love, however you're willing to give it,” you whisper.
“You’d do that to yourself?”
“For you? Anything.” His lips brush your palm, then your knuckles, then the ring on your left pinky. He pouts slightly and gently moves the ring onto your fourth finger, making sure it’s secure before doing the same to his own ring. “Does this mean you’ll actually sleep next to me from now on?” He smiles and places a kiss on the corner of your mouth.
“If you’ll have me.”
“I will,” you promise. “However you are, I will have you.” His fingers drop to the collar of your shirt and leisurely begin undoing the buttons, like you had all the time in the world. “As long as no one gets to have this,” you say, your hand splaying over his chest, right above his heart.
“It’s yours,” he affirms. “It’s always been yours.”
—
From THE HIGH TABLE SECTOR COMMANDMENTS
“X: Should one member be declared excommunicado, so shall all members be declared as such. Should one member's life be declared forfeit, so shall all members be declared as such.”
It’s too quiet.
Instinct wakes you seconds before the message comes through, alarms screaming in your head that something is wrong, something is wrong, something is wrong. There’s a faint roaring and a mechanical thudding above your head, reverberating through the ceiling of the bedroom. As you blink open your eyes, you register your husband at your bedside, shaking your shoulder to wake you. The bedroom is dark, but the red lights of the living room leak into the hallway, lighting the silhouette of a figure in the bedroom doorway. Red lights, you realize. The emergency lights that only lit up when the building lost power. Had there been an attack?
“Get up, Salacia,” the person in the doorway commands. It takes you a moment to register Jeonghan’s voice. “You need to go.”
“Salacia. Darling. My love,” Joshua pleads with you, pulling your focus back to him. “You need to get up. We have to go.” Half-asleep and barely understanding his words, you nod. You let him pull you out of the covers and slip off your nightgown, helping you tug on black slacks and your favorite compression long-sleeve. You wrap his Burberry coat around your body while he drops to his knees, pulls your boots from under the bed, and slides them over your calves. The boots are the ones with the flat heel that he’d joked were good for running.
At least, he was joking at the time.
You mindlessly reach for the Desert Eagle in your dresser as your husband’s hands strap your knife holster to your thigh. You stick your gun in the holster on your other leg and Joshua slips a few kunai that Vernon had gifted you for Christmas into your boot. Jeonghan remains in the doorway like a sentry, staring down the hall for a threat that was on its way. You reach for your phone, but Joshua catches your wrist and shakes his head. He takes your hand and you follow him out of the bedroom, where Jeonghan is pacing next to the door to the emergency stairway. Down was the lobby and the guest rooms, while up was the helipad. Which direction you would go, you had no idea.
“Let’s go,” Jeonghan says, his black coat swirling around him as he turns and begins ascending the steps two at a time. Joshua is behind you as you run up the steps after Jeonghan, a cold wind slapping you in the face when you follow him to the roof, where a helicopter is waiting. You turn to holler something at Joshua, but he shakes his head again and gently herds you toward the helicopter with a hand on the small of your back. You clamber in with Jeonghan just behind you and Joshua shuts the door…from the outside.
Joshua was still outside the helicopter.
Your yelp of confusion is lost to the whirring of the helicopter blades as the copter lurches upward and you’re thrown forward, nearly hitting your head on the seat in front of you had Jeonghan not caught your arm. You throw on the nearest headset and yell into the microphone to turn back and pick up your husband, but keep ascending all the same. You press your hands to the window and bang your fist against it, screaming in panic. Through the window, he offers you a smile and blows you a kiss as his figure becomes smaller and smaller on the hotel’s roof. I love you, is the last thing you see him say before disappearing completely. Only when you can’t see him anymore do you realize that the entire block surrounding the Continental is pitch black, the area shrouded in darkness. You barely catch the shadows of six tactical vehicles pulled into the hotel’s roundabout before the hotel is entirely out of sight.
Before you can ask any further questions, Jeonghan hands you his burner phone. There’s a single message on it from a number you don’t recognize.
INCOMING SECURE MESSAGE [11:59 P.M.]
TOP PRIORITY: High Table Sector #17 leader "JUPITER" has initiated SCATTER protocol. All members of High Table Sector #17 are henceforth excommunicado and now hold open contracts no less than 1 billion KRW each. Access to services and privileges under the Table are suspended. Relocate current position immediately and avoid contact with other members. Rendezvous instructions to follow.
You look at Jeonghan, fear and horror etched across your face.
“What happened?”
“Seungcheol killed a High Table member on Continental grounds,” Jeonghan says. “The world will be hunting all of us.” You exhale shakily and twist the signet ring–your wedding ring–on your fourth finger.
“From now on, we’re on the run.”
in case you didn't know: reblogging is the best way to support your favorite authors! if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi!
For decades, the Choi family has dominated the underground trade and criminal enterprise of Korea, and largely, Seoul. But the Choi sons start dying, until all that’s left of the empire falls to Seungcheol, the last Choi son. There is a new competitor rising to take over his territory, and Seungcheol is desperate to do anything to keep his dying empire alive.
Biting and mating with his competitor’s sister, a sheltered, treasured omega, might just be the drastic measure he has to take to keep his hold.
pairing: alpha!choi seungcheol x omega!reader
genre: omegaverse, mafia au
category: limited series
word count: tbd
warnings: a/b/o dynamics and secondary gender discrimination, mentions of emotional/mental abuse, DUBCON elements (read at your own risk), kidnapping, imprisonment, violence, blood and character death, mention of guns and knives, lots of svt members featured but not all of them are good guys, keep that in mind, manipulation, betrayal, boy x boy, there’s some doomed yaoi in here idk how that happened tbh, angst, slightly slow burn, smut, nsfw, heats and ruts, unprotected sex, proper smut tags in relevant chapters.
a/n: so here it is, alpha cheol fic as promised! special, special thank you to my lovely @milk-moonbunnies for reading this for me and encouraging me to keep writing it, I am so grateful for your push amani xx there’s some dark shit happening here so pls be warned, but overall i love how this goes and i loved writing it, especially bec some characters are straight assholes with no redemption ㅠ I hope everyone likes this! all updates will be at 1pm GMT, just letting y’all know xx
Synopsis :- In a world where lovers are destined and written by fate, You hated the idea of a soulmate, or maybe you just hated him. Jake wanted a soulmate, a lover to be with for the rest of eternity. Just not you. Not wanting eachother, the both of you occupy yourself with someone else. But the universe had other plans.
Pairing :- nonidol!Jake x reader
Warnings :- 13+, typos! cuz yo girl cannot type to save her life :), smau, fluff, chaotic, cursing, college!au, enemies to ??, bullying, did i mention cursing and typos? no? well there's cursing and typos.
Started (in drafts) : 06/01/2024
Posted : 04/03/2024 (3 fucking months later is this a joke)
Updates : randomly
Status : Ongoing
1 — jet lagged asf
2 — universe this better be a joke
3 — fucking hell!?
4 — this is harrasment
5 — you yap so much
6 — ew why you stalking me
7 — bob the robber
8 — pulled my hair
9 — solitude
10 — I'm on the next level
11 — you stole my ace
12 — 6 foot
13 — sugar mommy
14 — kick some ass
15 — my husband??!
16 — miss your mom
17 — brain in your ass
18 — the Kardashians
19 — hammer
20 — revenge
21 — elephant in the room
22 — traumatised her
23 — random aussie
24 — who the fucking boss is
25 — Australian partner
26 — that fucking bitch
27 — pushed herself
28 — not again
29 — stupid
30 — lila rossi
31 — tnt in my brain
32 — bet
33 — bridal style
34 — your word against mine
35 — just standing there
36 — JAKE FUCKING SIM??
37 — pink shoes
38 — Jake go kys
39 — what a bitch
40 — not very nice
41 — years
42 — man up
43 — manipulator
44 — I'm so alpha
45 — kangaroo ass
46 — rat
47 — i blocked her
48 — it can fade
49 — what she doesn't know
50 — justice you deserve
51 — start over??
52 — good guess
53 — pro tip
54 — floor 2
55 — comforting unknown
56 — hate that
57 — more delulu than Kim Kardashian
58 — faint
59 — that username...
60 — gripping my balls
61 — the best thing I'll do today
62 — a stella
63 — muffins
64 — a color that fades
65 — worm
66 — starting a religion
67 — bodyguard
68 — silence
69 — slip away
70 — illness and guilt
71 — guilt disguised as love
... more tba
TAGLIST (OPEN! send an ask to be added!) :
@leaderwon 2024. Do not copy, translate,alter or plagarize in any platform.
Synopsis :- In a world where lovers are destined and written by fate, You hated the idea of a soulmate, or maybe you just hated him. Jake wanted a soulmate, a lover to be with for the rest of eternity. Just not you. Not wanting eachother, the both of you occupy yourself with someone else. But the universe had other plans.
A witch who's keeping centuries old secrets. A vampire who doesn't care about anything other than himself. An unconventional alliance that draws you both closer than you should be. But being good at keeping secrets comes with a price.
pairing: vampire!wonwoo x witch!reader
au/genre: supernatural au, magic au, forbidden romance, strangers to reluctant allies to lovers, angst, eventual smut.
word count: 12,8k
content warnings :blood, fucked up family dynamics, talking about death murder and sacrifices, implied killings, secrets, vampire feeding, thoughts of self-harm, threats.
note: hello! first order of business, thank you so much aeris @aeristudios for taking the time to read this over for me and reassuring me and supporting my crazies ily <3 my obsession with the vampire diaries has led me to this point! I had to write a vampire au! it's my calling!
this is part one! I'll post the second part on november! I promise!
THIS FIC IS FOR +18 READERS ONLY! MINORS CAUGHT INTERACTING WILL BE BLOCKED.
check out my main masterlist ♡
read this post for a more detailed explanation of the lore and what inspired me to write this series!
I love to yap about tvd and this au, so, you're welcome to come scream in my inbox ♡
If you had to define your life with one sentence, the phrase “wrong place at the wrong time,” would be the most fitting, you think.
Whether by the eyes of reincarnation, fate, or the randomness of birth giving, there's no denying that whatever higher power made way for your birth on earth didn't care about your soul, it just needed a vessel to destroy.
Just one day. If you were born a day earlier, reality would be unthinkably better. You would've been just another normal newborn witch in the coven, learning mischievous spells with your friends and getting in trouble with the Wise Ones. But it couldn't happen that way. Life made sure of that. Otherwise, you wouldn't have been conceived.
“It's for the coven,” or “you should be honored to be a part of something so important,” your parents would say every time you'd ask them why they did it, in between sobs. It was hard, learning to live with it. But, little by little, day by day, you stopped caring, set on living the most you could before the time came.
The oh so powerful Moonlit Coven. The rulers of living magic for centuries, in charge of keeping it safe from the evil underworld. They wouldn't let anything happen to you before it was necessary. With a centuries old spell protecting you, nothing can kill you, yet, but can you be hurt?
Doing the grimy dishes you were careless to not clean early in the morning before closing, you're tempted to test its workings. What could happen if you accidentally grabbed a fragile glass with excessive force and it broke in your hand? Would it hurt? Would you bleed? Would it alert your family? It's a recurring intrusive thought that you never let win.
After all the years of living carelessly, building ephemeral relationships and getting emotionally wounded after they inevitably fall apart, that's the one thing you've always been careful about.
Force field spells were the foundation of your teachings, and you overused the hell out of them until you mastered them. Hence now, admittedly, you're scared. Getting physically hurt is something you never experienced, and you avoid it at all cost.
Laying low was the most important promise you had to fulfill in order for the coven to let you live in Ever Burn.
You purposely chose a ghost town as far away from your coven as possible. If you started getting hurt and healing rapidly, filling the bar with the smell of your blood for nothing to be there after, it would draw too much attention.
The couple hundred people living in town were weary of you at first, and the reason was as clear as the purified water you kept under the bar. As soon as you entered the same bar you’re standing in, looking for a job and a place to stay, you could smell the underworld injected in every corner, which the working hours of the bar being from sunset to sunrise should've alerted you of.
Not only the bar has tons of regulars who are vampires and a few werewolves here and there, but the town as a whole. The feeling of hundreds of supernatural creatures living in one place gave you goosebumps. It was hard getting used to it at first, that constant chill running down your spine at the underworld energy, but now that most of the regulars warmed up to you, it became your new normal.
Regulars that in any second are going to come knock on the locked door asking why you haven't opened if the sun already set.
Walking to the entrance with the key in hand, you partly regret choosing to get a job. You could’ve lived on a paradise-like beach with the money from the Coven, free of supernatural elements. But you weren't willing to live off your family's money for any longer. Getting a low paying job like normal people seemed like the way to go.
For the most part, the bar is a decently neutral place. The clients don’t come to make a fuss or to have something—or someone, to eat. Instead, they get drunk and flirt with you knowing they’re at least a couple hundred years older than you.
The bartender course you took still proves to be the best investment you made. You love hearing all the gossip in town. It’s incredible what amounts of illegal things people—mostly vampires, because werewolves have a higher tolerance, admit to doing to the bartender when their inhibitions go away.
A cold breeze on the back of your neck puts your thoughts on hold as you get back behind the bar. Vampires. Judging by the hour, you can guess who’s coming in.
The door creaks open, revealing the same group of friends that come in every day like clockwork.
You put all the yearning for a life you will never have behind you and your best waitress smile. A group of vampires is easy to handle on your own. As long as you're polite but not too flirty, they'll stay out of your way. This group in particular never spares you more than a glance.
From what you've gathered from sneakily listening to their conversations and from their drunken rants at 4 am, they're not murdering anyone in the plans they're whispering between themselves daily. Mostly keeping to the feed & erase process.
You’re walking forward to take their order when you feel it. There’s someone new with the two young looking vampires and their werewolf friend you’re used to seeing in the afternoons. When you lock eyes with him, blinding bleach blond hair and big eyes, you both instantly feel it in your veins. He’s a witch too.
It's a millisecond where your mouth dries incomprehensibly quickly. The last thing you wanted was for every creature in town to learn you're a witch. Underworld creatures can't recognize someone from the living magic world, and you've been good at hiding it so far, even refraining from doing any dumb spells to make your tasks easier to do. Now, it could all be at risk.
“You’re a waitress now?” The werewolf, Mingy, asks to the witch's side, managing to get your nervous system rolling again after the initial shock.
“Rob’s not here, yet.” You’re dry with your response. Small talk be damned for now.
The four guys exchange looks before the vampire with long hair speaks up. “We’ll wait for him, then.”
Normally, you'd think twice about why they'd be so adamant on wanting your boss to take their order, but at the moment, you don't trust yourself to be around this witch you've never seen before for any longer.
Why would he be hanging out with underworld creatures? It's an unspoken law that witches can't engage in relationships of any kind with the supernaturals. Every practicing witch knows that they mean nothing good, even the nice looking werewolves. Your kind always gets caught up in other supernatural creatures’ messes. And, of course, you always end up saving the day. That's why your Coven decided to live in a guarded community, away from any manipulating underworld people and keeping magic safe.
If they're together, there must be a plan of his interest happening.
From afar, the unknown witch doesn't seem to be as interested in you as you're with him. He listens closely to what the werewolf is telling the others. You can breathe, for now. It'll be best if you work while figuring out what he's doing, but not meddle in their business too much. It should be easy.
After Rob and the other waitress miraculously show up kind of on time for their schedules, you can relax a bit more. If the blond didn't say anything, you trust he doesn't want to expose you to anyone. You certainly trust him more than his companions.
As you pretend to organize the dishes you did before, making noise so the vampires don’t hear you, you whisper a spell to amplify your hearing. They’re usually funny to listen to—always loud while talking, but tonight, they’re muttering nonsense to themselves, talking about finding an unfamiliar stone. The witch is surely doing a protecting spell around them, because you’re only getting broken words that make little sense.
There's only one person from that group you ever spoke to outside of the bar. Not that you would trust him, but it could be possible to get information from him.
Hansol bumped into you outside the local library a few weeks ago. It was your day off, and when he recognized you, you nearly cast a spell to make him pass out and give you time to run away. But he didn't seem to care much about you as a whole.
You sat together at an illuminated corner and drank a cup of coffee in silence as you read your respective books. You'd enchanted the 'History of Covens' book you were holding to appear as if you were reading a common romance novel. He stared at you every now and then, and you had to pretend you weren't trying to figure out why he was reading a town history book if he's a thousand years old vampire.
"Memory failing you?" You asked after he caught you reading the title.
"Just doing some research." He shrugged.
"I'm sure you lived through everything you're reading about."
You didn't care if he saw through the uninterested persona you tried to put up. You mastered the acting of looking clueless. If he tried to erase your memory, you'd be okay.
"Reliving the old times, then," he joked, and you realized he wasn't going to give you more. Or at least he thought he didn't give you anything to work with.
It could be all connected. The new witch, the sudden history lesson, their need for your boss and a private place to chat. But dwelling on it for longer would be a waste of time. The place gets more crowded every second that passes, and the line of clients waiting for you to tend the bar increases with it.
"You're new here," a low voice directs at you, sitting in the farthest stool at the corner of your bar.
You stay focused on making the green drink Rob ordered to take to a table before locking himself and the others you were watching in his office.
All this time and you never saw anyone but him going in there. He always kept the key in his pockets, with his hand never uncovering the opening. Rob knew everyone in town, but for him to trust a few random men to go in there for hours, it means something. Something that draws you in, calls you to uncover.
"I've been here for a while," you respond without retrieving your eyes from the office door and leaving the drink with the correct client.
The person chuckles, waiting for you to come back from the table unfortunately too close to the bar. "I didn't know they hired witches around here."
Your neck cracks from how fast you turn your head to finally take a look at the stranger.
He's sipping on a whiskey you don't remember pouring, with a mocking smirk that narrows your eyes. You haven't seen him in the time you've been in town. You'd remember the stereotypical leather jacket he's wearing.
"They don't," you assert.
A quick glance around the room serves to calm your nerves. It's too late in the night, or early in the morning, for any vampire to be sober enough to assimilate your conversation. The 180 your head did at his accusation may have put you on the spot, but a bump on the road has never hindered your persuasion tactics before. It's just one annoying vampire against you.
"I'm sure Rob would love to know more about your background then," the stranger challenges.
You let out a loud chuckle at his empty threat. "You don't know Rob."
"I know everyone here." He gulps down the rest of his drink without getting his eyes off yours.
There are two possible options on why this emo vampire is so intent on getting you. Whichever it is, only one thing's for certain. You're not falling into his trap before knowing his identity and what he's looking for.
Racking your brain for any possible memory of encountering him is pointless. You remember everyone that comes even a step close to you. One can never be too careful, you learned.
"Not everyone. I've never seen you here."
He smirks again. "Few years ahead of you, sweets."
You just roll your eyes. He's clearly not going to give you any meaningful information. Why waste your time? He's just another already drunk vampire trying to mess with you.
"You're not getting a tip with that attitude," he continues, clearly not done with the bothering session. "Is this how you treat your clients?"
"You're not my client," you scoff. "I never served you."
He shakes his empty drink at you, the ice clicking against the glass enhancing his mocking smirk. A white fang claws on his bottom lip, reminding you what he is. You need to be careful. Revealing your identity could endanger the last few weeks you have ahead in town.
"You must've done your fast running thing and served yourself while I was busy."
"Sure, let's say I did." His stare stays on you as you surveil the office door once more.
It's as silent on the other side of the door as it was when they got in. You're sure if it opened, clouds of white smoke would fly away. A hard to master, but ultimately the most efficient way to turn away any prying ears.
"Well, don't do it again. I won't hesitate to stab you."
"So threatening!"
You watch as he leaves a couple of bills on the counter. At least he pays for what he has.
"Anything else I can do for you?" You portray a smile that both of you know it's just politely fake.
From the corner of your eye, you catch a glimpse of Hansol leaving your boss' office, with his hands in his pockets and heading decidedly to get out the door. His empty eyes catch yours in an instant, but he gives you no time to interpret what it means.
"How about a little locating spell?"
The words fly out of his mouth before you get the chance to shut him up. It's of little importance to him if the one thing important to you gets aired out in the open. Vampires… they only care about their business, no matter who they hurt in the process.
"And why would I help you?"
"If you don't want everyone in town to find out what you are, you will."
"You vampires and your incapability to get someone's help without blackmailing."
Admittedly, deep within you there's an insatiable curiosity that wants nothing more than to find out what the stranger is hiding. What he's after so secretly. Why he'd desperately track down a witch that knows nothing of him.
"Just need some witchy woo-hoo and we'll be done. Trust me, the last thing I want is to get involved in this godforsaken town's gossip."
"How do I know you'll hold your end of the deal?"
"I'm not planning to stay here for long." He looks smug, aware that was your way of accepting. "I'll be out of here as soon as I find what I need."
"I'm assuming you're not telling me what you need this object for, am I right?"
"You are very much correct."
Weighing your chances, you come to realize there's no need for you to follow coven rules anymore. The path formed behind you, filled with magic laws and worrisome threats, doesn't affect you as long as you're away from that life. And you can't die at the hands of anyone that isn't one of the Wise Ones.
This plan you're being sucked into might be the most entertaining thing you've been a part of in a while. Following implicit norms when nothing in this world can hurt you is foolish. You chose the way to spend the last of your life, to live freely. You always choose for yourself and make mistakes. Whatever this deal brings you, it wouldn't be worse than your prescribed fate.
"Thursday's my day off," you mention after some thought. "But I need to know more about you before agreeing to any of this."
The vampire smirks, once more, analyzing your figure up and down as you pretend to work. The bar has been oddly calm since he came onto you, but something tells you if you give him your full attention it can result in something disastrous.
"Call me Wonwoo," he extends his hand over the bar. You shake it with doubt, but knowing he won't relent. "I'll find you on Thursday."
Your boss' office door opens once more, letting out the rest of the group one by one. In the second your eyes stray to catch the men leaving, Wonwoo vanishes from his seat and into the night.
Just under an hour for the sun to fully come out, every client leaves in different states, be it angry, sad or quiet drunk or hungover. Rob joins you during the closing tasks after your other coworker ends her shift.
Your lips itch to ask Rob about the urgent meeting, about this strange vampire that claims to know him but disappears at the sight of him. For the first time in a long time, your mind wanders around this mystery instead of the sadness of your life. With purpose.
"Another round?"
Every once in a while, you find yourself pouring coffee instead of the dirtiest alcohol concoctions the supernaturals order, to feel something other than the dread of being alive for centuries.
"Thank you," Hansol replies without looking up from his ink-stained journal.
You fill his mug with black coffee, taking another look at the empty seats around him. His friends didn't come in with him tonight, and for once, he didn't have a drop of liquid that wasn't the bitter coffee your dirty machine pours.
"Alone tonight?" Your curiosity wins as you play the friendly waitress.
He rests his chin in the pale palm of his hand, not bothering to cover the writings he's been staring at with confusion since he sat down many hours ago. You read them shamelessly, recognizing the language most common witch spells use since the rise of earth magic.
"They got busy, but I needed the quiet," he explains.
Hansol, from what you've gathered, doesn't seem as vicious as the rest of the vampires you're so used to serving. Where others don't care to show up with blood stained clothes from their victims, Hansol always looks as if the thirst for blood doesn't trouble him. Or at least he cleans up after feeding.
It's odd that he surrounds himself with friends like that. They tend to spend nights at the bar telling stories about their latest catch, what lies they got in their head after feeding off their blood, all while cackling at themselves. All except for him. Of course, your perspective is skewed by simply being the bartender and watching them only during their drunk hours. He could be as in need for blood at all costs as the rest of them and you'd never know.
"I can tell Rob you're here," you intend to pry out, knowing your boss hasn't shown up all night.
He stares back at you, expressionless. "No worries."
You smile politely, slowly heading back to your station in case any vampire near passing out orders another drink. As the bar's motto says: no one is out of their mind enough if they still need something to drink. Or something like that Rob told you when he hired you. And, as you couldn't care less about vampires' well being, you serve them everything they ask.
"Actually, can I ask you a question?" You turn around at the sound of his unsure voice, which he takes as a way of agreeing. "Come, sit."
"I shouldn't." You look at the bar full of customers with a chill running down your spine, but he shrugs.
"Do they look like they'll be needing you for anything?"
Of course, he's right. Rob's nowhere to be found and the other waitress finished her shift three hours ago. There isn't anything else to do, and you have the slight suspicion that Hansol won't let you go that easily.
"I don't think I can be of much help," you gulp.
"You don't know what I'm asking you, yet." Hansol's face is void of any emotion. And that might be scarier than him being a blood-sucker.
His eyes, dark reddish brown, scan your trembling form as you sit down. There's no knowledge on vampires being able to sense people's emotions –if they were, your coven would've been the firsts ones to know– but, for a second, you fear he's able to smell your reluctance to talk, hear your heart pumping blood faster through your veins.
"You've been here for a few months already," he asserts. It's not a question, but you nod regardless. "Most human girls don't last this long here."
"Well, I'm careful," you shrug. "I knew where I was getting myself into."
"You did?" His brow lifts, changing his expression for the first time all night. "You don't seem like one of the crazies obsessed with us."
"Didn't say I was a fan, only that I know what goes on."
Hansol nods, amused by your answer.
"Is your questioning done? I can't be seen sitting if Rob leaves his office," you lie again. You've perfected the technique after so many years. Your heart stammers the same, telling a lie or walking two steps. Even less than.
"If you know so much about us, I assume you know we can't walk outside during the day."
This is the time to downplay your knowledge, at least a tad bit. You can't know too little, but knowing too much is also dangerous. Say something true while appearing clueless to everything else.
"Yeah, that's why the bar opens only after sundown."
"Well, there's something I need, but can only be retrieved at midday," he explains, still analyzing every one of your moves. "I wouldn't request anything from anyone normally, but Rob said I could trust you."
Damn Rob. "I'm not sure I'm the best fit for whatever you need."
"It's not dangerous," Hansol explains.
He might not notice, even with his vampire abilities and otherworldly senses, but the wind outside picks up with every word of his, the floor boards creak louder under a drunk man's walk, and every one of your veins scorches with warnings. The earth is showing you the signs, and it's your choice to listen to them or not.
"You know nothing about me." It's not a question, but Hansol nods. "Why are you getting me involved?"
"You won't get involved," he says, beginning to be exasperated by your lack of commitment. "Your help will remain a secret, only if you get me what I need."
Hansol seems not to know your true identity. Whatever the reasoning is behind asking for your help, it doesn't have to do with your powers. It could be true, that he simply needs someone able to walk under the sun and prefers it being a stranger. You'd prefer him not revealing how much you know about the town, helping you not to draw any more attention from hungry vampires.
"No one can know I helped you, nor that I'm aware of what happens in town," you whisper, crossing your arms in front of your chest.
"My lips are sealed," he promises, and you have no other choice but to trust him.
"So? Are you telling me where it is? How does it look like?"
Hansol surveys the obscure bar, as if now realizing you aren't alone, before flipping pages of the book-looking journal sitting on the table. The words written in every page he's passing, you know by memory. That exact witch book is no stranger to you, each visible crease and mark were made by your own desperate hands.
Near the end, on the pages you only got through on your most hopeful days, he carefully takes notice of everything drawn on them, until he finds what he was looking for.
"This." Hansol's finger taps on one of the few colorful drawings ever found on a magic journal. A ruby stone with a disc shape you've never seen before.
"That thing?"
"Yes."
The image isn't new to you, but the rock has so little importance within the magic you practice, you barely pay attention to it on your routine check ups. There's a tiny description under it, but nothing of use. Your little care of it tenses Hansol's jaw muscles. Was he hoping for more of a reaction?
"Okay, no need to go all dark on me." You roll your eyes. "Where can I find it?"
The taste of the bitter tea remains on your tongue as you wake up from your nap. Even after weeks of drinking the same concoction to give your body and mind sufficient energy, you haven't gotten used to the lingering taste, or found a solution for it. It's a small price to pay to be able to endure sleep for so little hours. A nap after drinking it activates the spell drawn in the tea leaves, and it allows you to spend the night working and the morning investigating.
How Wonwoo found out about you is still unknown. You've been careful all around town not to show even a sliver of your capabilities. With your neighbors thinking you're merely a curious human learning about the underworld, like many before you, it's not a hard part to sell, but something tipped him off. You must’ve done something wrong.
From your window, you see the sun beginning to hide behind the horizon, indicating your manipulator's about to show up and demand the locating spell he wants.
A vampire tracking down a witch for selfish reasons is almost as common as killing a human to feed off their blood. It comes inherently with becoming a blood-sucker, dragging everyone down with them. The thing is, under the nonchalant attitude and easiness to manipulate you into helping, stands a desperate vampire in need of something. He didn't just ask you, he found out about you, somehow, and disappeared at the sight of another witch.
Wonwoo's hiding something from the people in the town. People he claims to know.
A knock on your door takes you out of your thoughts. The darkness of your room, only illuminated by the single candle you maintain on all hours, gives the clues necessary to realize who it is.
"How did you know where I'm staying?" You ask a grinning Wonwoo as you open the door.
He lets himself in with a chuckle and doesn't answer, his eyes going over every corner as if it would give him more information about you.
The Coven would freak out if they found out you're letting a stalker vampire into your life, or worse, into your room. If this would've happened years ago when you were entering your rebel phase, you'd be praying to the universe non-stop. But you learned, through making mistakes and trusting the wrong people, how to do what you want, how to play around with strangers, without consequences.
Wonwoo's not as sleek as he thinks he is. If he thinks he tracked down any witch, he's going to find out just how mistaken he is.
"Have everything you need?" He questions at the sight of your empty abode.
From your awaiting past life, you weren't sentimental enough to bring anything that would remind you of it. It's enough with fate creeping behind you at every step.
"I don't need much, just information about the thing you want," you shrug, trying to pry anything you can out of him.
"Don't you need those weird leaves and fire and stuff?"
So, he knows about spells other Covens around the world perform. Not bad from a vampire of his age. And he doesn't know what kind of magic you perform, so it's unlikely he knows to which Coven you belong.
"If you need my help, then you'll have to trust me."
"I could get any witch to do this. Don't test me."
"Then why didn't you?" You probe. "I'm sure you know plenty of other witches here in your hometown who you trust more than a stranger."
Wonwoo catches your defiance, glaring you up and down. You realize you've been keeping a large distance between you when he takes a step forward and crosses the line you've drawn.
"You're good," he smirks. "I see the character you're playing, prying information out of me thinking I don't notice. It's not gonna work on me, love."
Vampires are the coldest of creatures. Warm blood doesn't run through their veins, they don't sweat, their bodies don't work normally. If it were any other creature before you, even from the underworld as well, you'd feel their bodily heat at the distance Wonwoo's standing at. But he's as cold as ice, so close to your form you fear it's contagious.
"I'm just curious about how and why you came to me." You don't let him scare you. "Especially when your brother's here working with another witch."
"Hmm—" Instead of him taking you more seriously, his smirk widens, amused. "Smarty did some research."
"Like I said, curious," you shrug.
Neither of you take a step away, challenging each other without taking your eyes of the other. One way or another, you'll get what you want from him. Thinking you were an easy catch was his first mistake. Giving in to his threats, he'll soon find out it has nothing to do with him.
"My little brother and I," he begins, "haven't been on the best terms."
"You've been following him around for decades."
"Let's just say he has something I want, but I can't ask him for it." He's vague with what he gives, but each word clings to your mind like a bug. "Is that enough for you?"
"This object you want me to find, is that it?"
Brothers who hate each other but can't seem to get enough of the other. Wonwoo probably doesn't know his brother is aware of his every move, constantly tracking him as well. Blood or no blood rushing through their system, they're connected no matter what.
"It's not really, but it'll help." Wonwoo crosses his arms, doubting you again as he takes another look at your desk behind you. "All the witches I've seen do spells a different way."
"Then, you haven't seen witches like me," you answer with pride. "Now talk. Describe the thing or I won't get even close."
"How do I know it's going to work and you're not scamming me?"
"Scamming you out of what? Are you paying me?"
"Your payment is a nice long life in secrecy." Wonwoo rolls his eyes. "Need proof, witch."
"Okay, damn!" You sit on the desk, dust blowing over the clutter of the few things you kept. "Then, tell me about something you do know where it is. You'll see."
Wonwoo stares and stares, skepticism showing all over his expression. You let the silence speak for itself, arguing pointless.
He relaxes his posture, slipping his hands into the leather pockets of his jacket. "A bright pink lighter with a tongue sticker."
"Classy."
Wonwoo's chuckle reaches your ear as you turn around, fluttering your eyes closed. His ever-chilling presence does little to calm your nervous system, a technique you long mastered but have trouble presenting when the very person you're supposed to be concentrating on is the same as the threatening force driving your decisions.
You focus on the smell of the wind slipping through the window, moist and salty, surrounding both forms in the room. Wonwoo's lungs fill with the very same air you connect with, his underworld magic mixing with the earth that gave you life and reaching the deepest parts of your brain as you seek what he's after in your mind.
Whispering passage after passage of the spell you know by heart, the picture being painted on your eyelids becomes full with color with every word. The bright pink takes form on the center, slowly, surrounded by a dark blackness and a smudge of pale brown. But the dubious sight is not to worry, as every one of your five senses work in unison to find what is needed.
Its surroundings ruffle with a wind-like shake, and the pale brown moves closer to the small pink plastic object. It's silent, the sight that becomes clearer the more you let it live, only a gush of familiar wind as a clue.
"It's in your right pocket." Your voice sounds full again.
"Even with direction accuracy!" Wonwoo reveals the lighter before he claps his hands together in irony. You see it all happen in your mind. "I'm impressed."
"Do you trust me now?" You don't bother to open your eyes and look at him.
The longer a spell took, greater the danger of a decay in quality of your next sighting. If you tune out of it, it'll be hard to gain the energy back. The test was a needed waste, but your focus will have to be placed on the object and not so much on its surroundings now.
"Trust is a very big word," he smirks with the blurt of the joke. "I'll trust you when you direct me to what I actually want."
"Then, I'm going to need more than the color this time. Tell me something about what you're looking for, a clue about who it belongs to, if you know. Or what magic it uses. Anything."
Your eyes keep closed, focused on the moon, bright on the dark blue sky, and the cold light it casts over the town. Wonwoo steps closer behind you, the zip of his jacket grazing your right shoulder.
His curious breath fans over the top of your head as he speaks, "It's a dark red rock with eroded edges."
The familiar description accelerates your heart, your interest piqued. Such a coveted rock, laying somewhere only you'll find out. You have no knowledge of what it can do, what promises it made to these two vampires who, unknowingly, both requested your help.
"I need more, vampire, common."
"It's been lost for decades, the last owner long gone by now." His mocking tone disappears with each word as he finally shares meaningful information. "It is said that it was from a witch who could communicate with the underworld."
Wonwoo's dark magic electrifies your senses, connecting with the earthly whispers leaving your mouth. Your mind travels between wood cabins in town, across every conversation being had between magical creatures. Blurring images paint your eyelids once more, dark green, gray and dry leaves being stomped over.
"I have no clue who put it there, wherever it is, but the legend says the witch was on her way to hide it before she disappeared."
A window to the underworld, locked by a key in the form of a ruby stone. The smell of the mixed magic systems prickles at your nose the closer you get. Dark and moist, you hear the wind making way between trees, tall leaves ruffling against one another the taller they get.
It's impossible not to miss, even with your limited magic, the aura embedded in the area where earth and underworld collide. The gray shape, a cave deep inside the forest, glows in the distance, but you can't go further. A barrier within you not letting you any closer.
"There's a cave in the forest by the apothecary." Adjusting to the warm light it's difficult, and you find Wonwoo hasn't moved from behind you. "I couldn't get closer, but it's definitely there."
"Are you sure?" He asks, eyeing the wide open window you used to let your spirit through.
"Yes, I'm sure. Underworld magic looks different to me than it does you. It's there, I saw it."
"I've been there in person and it's empty." Wonwoo shakes his head with a sigh.
You can't control the glare you throw his way. "You told me you had no idea where it could be."
"Why don't you do the thing with the map?" He ignores you, scanning your room in search of what he believes you need.
"It can't work if I don't use something belonging to its owner." His brewing desperation reeks of anger, not at you, but you can't help but feel at the receiving end of it. "Besides, it'd just show me what I just saw."
"You have no idea what you're doing." He's deaf to your explanations. "It has to be somewhere else."
Wonwoo paces back and forth, considering his options while you're careful to explain how your magic works. But it's as if you weren't there, a mere object he's using to get what he wants, not someone who deserves his respect. As he stares at the floor, unfocused and unfearing, only one option comes to mind.
His cold, dark blood running through his lifeless veins is easy to get a hold of. Another way of protecting you against threatening vampires you were taught early in life. You concentrate on the flow of blood up his body, your energy flying from your mind to his, engorging one of the veins inside his brain and making it explode.
The vampire, all mighty and resistant, falls to his knees with a scream, his hands gripping the sides of his head as if to control the pain. You repeat the process over and over. His powers heal the internal wound and you pop it again.
"Answer my fucking question," you demand after the tenth spell in a row. "How did you know?"
"I got a lead a few months ago and it turned out to be fake," Wonwoo moans out, pain slowly fading as he straightens back up. "Or at least that's what I thought then."
You cross your arms, unapologetic under his seething eyes. "So, you trust what I saw?"
"You make it hard not to."
"I'm going to make one thing clear, blood-sucker." You take a step forward, invading his personal space just like he did before. "I might be helping you because you threatened me, but I'm not letting you step over me again. You're getting that rock and then you're getting the hell away from me and this town, got it?"
"You talk a lot of big words," he smirks, unflinching.
"I'm not scared of your underworld kind," you spit out. "The second I was able to do magic I was taught how to defeat you. You might be irresistible to time, but you're not immortal."
"You think I'm irresistible?" He smirks, but not for long as you pop one of his veins again. "Fine! Fine! Stop with that! You won't see me again after we get it."
"We? You know where it is, you can get it yourself."
"Nope! You're coming with me and you'll see just how empty that cave is."
When the sun comes down and darkness reigns over the town of Ever Burn, every creature comes out of hiding and dances their way through the shadows, living free of judgement and fear.
On the nights when you're not needed at the bar, avoiding the empty streets and the groups of vampires eager to go out, you hide out in the deepest parts of the library, going over most of their available catalogue. Tonight is the odd one out.
Wonwoo sneaks you around the alleyways, he himself also avoids being seen. The smell of midnight dew and wet grass fills your senses the closer you get to where your vision showed you. The apothecary's worker waves her hand through the window as she sees you passing by, her gaze narrowing on Wonwoo a second too long before you return the greeting. He grabs your arm and forces you to walk faster.
"Does she know you?" You shake your arm off his hold.
"Who?" Wonwoo pretends to have not noticed the glow from inside the shop and looks forward to the tree line ahead.
The view in front kick starts a chill going down your spine. Alluringly familiar and as unknown as any place you've never set foot in, you could walk along the path with your eyes closed, following the images you saw painted on your eyelids earlier.
You point back to the store, now meters behind you as the trees grow closer. "Abby, the owner."
"We've been acquainted," Wonwoo gulps down a smirk after you both step into the tall trees. No going back now.
"Ew!"
"Don't be mean to her!" Wonwoo lays his hand on his chest, feigning being offended. "She used to be in great shape."
"I mean you!" Unfortunately, you chuckle as you say, "I'm going to puke! Poor Abby."
"She was the one who danced her way to my bed." Wonwoo swooshes his way ahead of you, giving you a bow with zero courtesy.
"Imagining you dancing is way worse, actually." You push him by the shoulder, and he budges out of your way with not much resistance. "What did you do to such an intelligent and hard-working woman to get her to be interested in you, huh?
You leave him chuckling behind and point your flashlight forward to scan for any clues. Alive with nature, the forest seems void of any life. Even animals seem to stray away from the parts close to town. Vampires in need of feeding are a danger to every life form.
From the blurry rendering, you can't decipher any particular spots on the ground or odd-shaped tree branches, but you're sure of what you felt. It was a warm glow calling for you, illuminating the way for it to be found.
There's no light source other than your flashlight, with Wonwoo being able to see in the dark, but you can almost feel the different temperatures on the way.
"It's this way," you remind Wonwoo, who's whistling an old Christmas carol and kicking rocks to the sides. "Are you always this loud?"
"Only when I'm asked to," he jokes. You give him an aneurysm in his brain and pop it again. "Stop! I'm bored! And this isn't the way I remember."
You stop on your tracks to sense the energy, just in case. Wonwoo crashes into you, a head taller and paying attention for any danger. This is where the spell took you, you're sure.
"You said you were at a cave near here." You move on, walking in between thick trees, searching for the source of warmth.
"It wasn't as shallow in the woods," Wonwoo explains, exasperated.
"Maybe your head can't handle having speed and a sense of direction at the same time. I know it's around here."
"Hey, witch, I didn't say anything!" Wonwoo throws his hands in the air in his defense, but, already done with him after being alone for over two hours, you ignore him and keep looking. "If you don't get us there in the next ten minutes, I'm leaving you alone here and finding someone who actually knows what they're—Whoa!"
The ground shakes underneath your feet, wind picking up and rustling the tree leaves as the earth caves in and swallows you whole.
For a few seconds, you feel nothing under you as darkness envelops you. You crash onto solid ground, damp dirt staining your clothes and getting under your nails. The fall will grow painful bruises along your legs, but you stretch and stand up as best as you can regardless.
Wonwoo screams your name in the distance, above you by at least three meters. His head appears on the hole you fell from, an oddly perfect circular shape that gave in under your weight.
"I'm fine, but you better figure out how to get me out of here!" You shine your flashlight over the walls, a tingling sensation on the back of your neck urging you to do so.
"You're bleeding, I can smell it from here," he asserts with confidence.
"Ow, are you worried about me?"
You feel nothing if not sore, except for the warm liquid dripping down your arm. He was right, you are bleeding, but your arm is numb to any pain. If Wonwoo hadn't smelled it, if you hadn't bothered to check, it would almost be as if nothing happened. So, this is what the protection spell is like.
"I'm worried about not finding my rock."
Wonwoo drops down into the cave with you, examining you the second he stabilizes himself. The skin around your left arm is covered with reddish smudges and dripping scarlet down to the soil below. The wound is pulsing, throbbing even, but it's painless. If you concentrate on the rugged flesh, you can feel a burning sensation, but it's so faint it could be your imagination. Without a word, he bites down the veins on his left wrist and urges you to drink from it.
"I'm not doing that, weirdo."
"You'll heal faster." Drips of cold vampire blood paint your lips before you gather the strength to push Wonwoo's arm away. "Stubborn fucking witches," he mutters.
"I'll be fine! I don't need your disgusting—" you're left wordless as you check where the wound was just located.
Wonwoo shuts up instantly as well. You both stare at your arm, a mix of dirt and blood covering your skin from shoulder down to your nails, but the open cut is nowhere in sight. You draw a circle and your muscles move like normal. Like there wasn't just a deep cut bleeding down your arm.
"You know your healing spells well," Wonwoo compliments, his interest already lost to your surroundings.
It must be another of the doings of the protection you were given at birth. No other explanation comes to mind other than it being the proof you've been looking for. Too much of a coward to do it yourself, you had to get tangled with a vampire and fall meters deep in the middle of the woods for nature to show you the makings of your destiny.
The faint burning on your arm disappears with the cut, but the warmness guiding you along the woods gets stronger. Wonwoo, not bothering to communicate what he does, goes into a tunnel just behind where you fell. Every step, the temperature rises more and more, and everything starts looking, feeling, too familiar.
They weren't leaves crushing under your feet that you heard, it was water, slipping between broken rocks at the bottom of the pit you fell into. The green wasn't bushes or trees, it was alive, bright moss covering the walls that glowed under the led light.
No more than one step ahead, Wonwoo stares at everything in awe, and you can't resist the irony. "I'm assuming this isn't the cave you checked out."
He rolls your eyes at your teasing and continues searching for what he's been looking for.
It's close. Intoxicatingly powerful, the mixed magics colliding in a bundle of energy flood up your senses. You can smell it, hear it, even touch the difference in spirit. It should be worrisome, that an object so much like the underworld sits so peacefully in your world, connecting the two.
"Do you see it anywhere?" Wonwoo interrupts your thoughts.
"I would if you stopped bothering me," you reply with your eyes closed.
You kneel on the ground, your hands against the dusty mixture of dirt and stone, feeling for any clue. The tips of your every finger tingle with energy, increasing the more you move ahead in search for it.
You crawl on the rubble, uncaring about how foolish you look. Everything's dark and wet, the floor and the cold walls you're budging against and the underworld magic exuding from pores all around you, but you follow the image on your mind, more sure of it than you were of anything the spell ever showed you. More intrigued.
The feeling of a new hard material under your hands shoots your eyes open. A brownish wooden box with a yellow glow all around. It's hot to the touch, electrifying, so different from the ambiance it's sitting in you doubt it was purposely placed there.
Against everything you've ever been taught, against the laws of the living world and against the rules of earth magic, you unlock the leather that shuts the box closed and take a look inside.
Blinding red light emerges from the opening, but before you get the chance to slip your hand inside and feel what's calling to you, a gush of wind startles you and the heavy case vanishes from your hold.
"Don't steal from me, now."
Wonwoo stands tall just steps before you, unaffected by the rays the rock expels. He examines what was just in your hands, the box just as newly discovered to him as it was to you. Yet, he refuses to act like he doesn't know something. He reaches for the stone sitting inside with no fear.
"Be careful of—" you begin to warn him about the jump in temperature, but it doesn't seem to affect him.
"This thing?" Wonwoo takes the ruby stone, now opaque as the light dimmed down at his touch, and inspects it. It's so much smaller than you imagined, almond shaped and blood red. "This is what everyone has been searching for centuries?"
"Everyone?" You ask, as you've never heard of the stone or what it is said it can do.
Now that the rock it's out of its confinements, the warmth all around drops back to normal, as if it never changed. You shiver at the switch, eyes focused on understanding what could Wonwoo be thinking as you get up.
"For a witch, you seem to know very little about your folklore."
"It's because I don't care about it," you lie. It could be convincing, according to how he sees you spend your life. "I stay away from underworld business."
"Well, since you asked so politely," Wonwoo's words are laced with irony, "it helped an old witch communicate through the barrier, but it wasn't the only thing she used. This should be enough to find them all."
"What do you want with the underworld?" It's not likely that he would share even more information with you, but every reaction counts.
"Is it wrong to want to know my birth place?" Wonwoo closes the box, confining the ruby once again.
"Never met one of you who wanted that." Your curiosity doesn't cease at his lack of an answer. On the contrary, his avoidance of the truth only makes you crave it more.
"You'd be surprised." He raises his eyebrows, not bothering to look your way.
You eye him as he walks away, mind elsewhere. He doesn't need you anymore. His wide back you wouldn't be able to miss retraces your path, and you follow him, drained steps, through the chamber until the hole you fell from stares down at you again.
The veins running through your body tingle in remembrance of how it felt to hold the ruby stone so close. It felt almost… yours. As if it wasn't the spell you performed that showed you the way, but the stone. It was unique, but far from troubling. Familiar.
"How are you planning to help me up?" You ask, seeing him ready to jump out of the hidden cave.
Wonwoo glares back, as if he'd forgotten you were there as soon as he lay his fingers on what he was looking for. Wheels turn behind his empty eyes, so gray and lifeless they appear incapable of transmitting emotions.
"Can't you do some of that witchy woo-hoo and get up?"
"You've run me dry," you answer, and his raise of eyebrows makes your eyes roll. "There's a limit to how much time I can do spells. I've been using magic for the past two hours, I need a second to recharge."
"You can wait it out here," he nods in a smirk, a show of his boastful ego.
Despite your tiredness, you find a sliver of energy left along your spent muscles. In a matter of seconds, weak electricity runs through your veins and Wonwoo's gripping at the sides of his head again, feeling his veins pop with your last efforts.
"How come you can do that?"
"It doesn't take much," you shrug, taking the chance at Wonwoo's frozen stand and marching towards him.
"I can never understand you wizards," he shakes his head.
"Witches," you correct. "For me to jump that high, I'd need to manipulate not only the ground down here, but also the air outside to hold me, and I just spent hours tracking this for you. Now you get me out."
Wonwoo sighs again, but for someone who claims to care so little, he still asks a bunch of questions. "Aren't you supposed to be mega powerful, blood oath to the earth and all? Just eat something."
"What? Grass? Or are you bringing me dinner?" Ignoring his grunts, you step in front of him, forcing him to look your way, to not leave you behind.
From the corner of your eye you catch Wonwoo's arm tucking behind his back, the coveted box now hidden behind his icy body. However, no matter how many walls there are between you and the stone, its warmth manages to envelop your body ever so slightly, tingling each of your senses. You can't lose it. Not now.
Wonwoo straightens before you, his thinking expression morphing into something not quite nice. Amused at what races through his mind.
"Hold tight."
You scoff, the unbelievable thing he's asking of you leaving you wordless. "You're joking, right?"
"I can't pull you up from that high," Wonwoo points to the cave ceiling as if it was obvious. "My arm doesn't stretch kilometers long."
You glare back, face almost morphing into a constant state of exasperated glaring his way. "It's not that high."
"What shouldn't be that high are your expectations, witch," he spits out. "Why do you think you have the right to ask me for anything? I got what I wanted and I'm leaving."
"Then, why are you still here?"
"Ugh,"he gets a better hold of the box and prepares to jump. "Better hope you don't cross paths with me again."
Wonwoo squints at the circle of sky above, considering one last time the ideal way to get through it. Your ears pick up the faintest ringing sound, screaming for help. There's no time to understand what it means, only a second where Wonwoo hisses at the box and fixes his grip so as to not touch the metal seal. It's getting hot again. Just like when it was calling to you.
The need to have the ruby stone skyrockets, overpowering your witch boundaries and all that you were ever taught. Your eardrums pulse in unison with the ringing, connected by the rhythm and your lungs screaming for air. It's both suffocating and relieving, knowing how to stop it but being so afraid to do so.
You'd never forgive yourself if you let the ruby go. Somewhere along the tracking spells and your touch over the box, you felt a connection, a reason to give to all your void past and short future. You're not scared of anything, you never were after learning what you were born to do, nothing's stopping you from following this hunch. This energy boils the blood running through your fearless veins, a purpose brewing deep besides the one thing you were fated to accomplish. How could you let it go?
"Wait!" You manage to scream out and prevent Wonwoo from leaping.
"What now?" Against his better judgment, his arms drop and he stays down. He lowers his jaw for the last time, furrowed eyebrows at your sudden concern.
You take it as an agreement, his previous offer still stands. "Just don't touch me," your hands raise in warning before you wrap them around his neck.
"Hard to do if you're hanging on for life, little mage."
Wonwoo chuckles seeing your bodies so close together. Hard to think he finds the touch of another woman simply funny, but maybe him thinking you're scared can be advantageous.
"You can't be trusted!" Your voice shakes, and you look around to avoid his stare. "I'm making sure you get me to high ground."
"'Cause I'm such a bad vampire, yeah, yeah, just hold tight before I regret it."
His cold arm sneaks around your waist, keeping you further against him so as to not lose balance. He needs not more strength, vampire powers provide him with plenty, but he secures you regardless, in case your little trust on him falters on the jump and he has to hold on to you without you holding on.
You take a deep breath, adjusting to the idea of letting someone else help you out of a situation. A once in a lifetime occurrence, since you never allowed the Coven to come close to you in a moment of need. Never.
Wonwoo flexes his legs as he prepares to jump, with one last look at you sporting a smug smirk before a gush of cold dustless air envelops you both and your nose fills with the smell of dew covered tree leaves. It's so quick, you feel the ground beneath your feet again before even taking a breath.
"That was quick," you joke, masking your little care for his powers with your eyes going wide.
You stumble against a thick tree, the coarse wood digging against your palms and feeding you with little energy. You take a deep breath, feeling it run through your veins, so quickly you realize how spent you were.
"If you're getting sick you better go hide behind that tree. Do not want to see that." Wonwoo dusts himself off after checking in on you. It worked.
You disguise a forming smirk pretending to cool down your face with your hands. "Don't be so full of yourself," your eyes roll before walking ahead of him. "I'm fine."
"A little jump puts out a witch, whoa, I should write this down."
"Do you want me to show you your weaknesses again, old man? I can do it no problem."
"Thank you for asking, but no, I don't think I need that." Wonwoo turns around in his walk over the same path you took earlier, his leather-covered back no longer facing you as he walks backwards. "And I'm not old."
"The years might be getting to your head, but for normal people half a century is old."
"That's where you're wrong." His pace slows, matching your speed and spreading his arms wide. "My life just started! Every day that I don't age is a day where I'm more free than ever."
"Finding that rock got to your head," you chuckle.
"Maybe, but this thing," he shakes the box on your face, "this just got me one step further to true freedom."
Freedom is a concept you've lived away from your entire life. Even now, in a town in the middle of nowhere, responsibilities chase you every waking hour. No matter how little you care, how many things you accomplish in the meantime, everything will inevitably come to an end. You understood that from a very young age.
Which is why you're getting in the middle of vampires going after the same object. Figuring out what they're after when they trust you so blindly. What is it if not another way to entertain your gray life as time inevitably passes?
"Will you tell me why you want it? It's just a rock with a pretty color."
Wonwoo thinks about his answer for a second, his fingers twirling around the lock holding the stone's confinement closed. There's no reason he'd want to tell you, a well kept secret until now couldn't be easy to keep under wraps just to undo it the second he can finally begin.
"I don't plan on seeing anyone from here ever again after this," he starts, testing the waters. "So, let's just say, it will give me what every vampire wants."
"That's bullshit, you creatures are after anything and everything." You follow behind him, skipping skew branches and being wary of wandering supernaturals. "Satiating your thirst can't be what you're after. You love the hunt."
"You have to think deeper," he doesn't deny the latter statement. "We used to be the most powerful creatures standing, but we now have things holding us back."
"That's how the Earth keeps the balance." Every lecture on the History of Magic comes rushing in, strings of words burned on your brain from beginning to end.
Centuries ago, witches were hunted for sport, terrorized into hiding by the underworld creatures. They were unstoppable, driving the planet into decay with their sacrilegious lifestyle. Human population reduced their numbers year after year, stories of bloody serial killers that left no trace behind flooded the news; the smell of blood and rot was embedded on every corner. Witches had to be resourceful and careful in their practicing. They couldn't be found, heard, seen, smelled.
In the depths of the desert, the Moonlit Coven promised a new beginning, a new life for all who believed in them and their knowledge of the villainous creatures. They found their way into the underworld, convincing their rulers that, if they wanted to keep their race alive, their behavior of destroying their life force wouldn't suffice. A pact was born.
The planet was divided then, Earth and Underworld became separate energy sources. The underworld closed its access to above, and its creatures would each have a life-threatening weakness that would slow down the massacre. Vampires became allergic to the sun, werewolves lost their control to turn to the phases of the moon. In return, the Moonlit Coven allowed them to stay on earth and not banish them to their birth place.
"I don't care for the balance," Wonwoo whispers between the spying trees, "I want my freedom."
Dry branches crack under his stealthy feet, putting an end to voicing his wants. You couldn't expect him to be open, no supernatural ever is. They shut out at any minimal concern, untrusting of anything remotely different from them. You can't complain, you have been taught to do the same. But underneath the individualism, there was always a sense of belonging with every species. You escaped from your Coven, but you relate more to them than to a lone vampire. Wonwoo doesn't seem to have that sense of community.
"Only yours?" You dare to ask, curious about his unapologetic selfishness. But his attention has moved on from your questioning already.
"Doesn't everyone want that?" You probe again, only to be met with an icy finger against your lips.
Wonwoo traps you against the closest tree, sealing your mouth shut as his eyes go over every inch of space that surrounds you. You realize then, it wasn't him that made the noise just now, and it wasn't you either. The forest is a common hunting ground for any supernatural, and you haven't been weary of attracting unwanted attention.
Your heart rate picks up against Wonwoo’s unbothered chest, too close on a too dangerous space. Not a ray of light finds you inside the woods, and with no chance of whispering any spell, you depend solely on the vampire's ability.
His stare finds yours, a silent conversation between a roll of his eyes and the quirk of your eyebrows. Little you know about what's going on in his mind, he has a plan, that's for sure. You can't trust a vampire, he will protect his sacred object before a disposable witch. But his hands keep you in place, out of sight from the threat.
With a new swoosh of wind, you feel watched, closely, but barely a sound reaches your ears.
Both of your breaths synchronize as you wait for your tracker to slip again. Your eyes close, an attempt at sharpening your hearing for anything out of the ordinary. Wonwoo's hold on you persists, making sure nothing you do gets you in trouble.
Why isn't he moving? He could sprint and surprise whoever is here, rip them apart in warning for any others who might want to follow them, others who are after the very stone you feel pumping heat between your chest and Wonwoo's. He must be waiting. A good hunter knows not to precipitate, to wait for the best moment to attack, to let the opponent feel they have the advantage before attacking.
The tense moment switches quickly, before your mind catches up. In a second, your hands drop with a new weight. The brown box is with you again. Wonwoo is nowhere to be seen.
Grunts and thuds echo against the walls of trees, close to your hiding spot but far enough so you can't see the quarrel. Energy concentrates on your hands, the ringing in your ears coming back now that you’re alone with the stone. Whatever goes on outside the ringing’s reach takes a secondary role.
The irresistible need to touch the stone, to give in to its calling, finally wins. Coursing through your veins, you feed off of the familiar warmth expelling from the small ruby, its polish soft under your fingers.
The red shimmer contradicts its coldness. It’s not alive, it can’t be, but the mix of Earth and Underworld magic fuels you like no other. Your lungs fill with air, your body accustoming to the new.
How have you never heard of this before? A unique drive sets within your body, a richer, stronger magic you're certain no witch has ever felt. Your kind could rule the world if everyone grew as powerful as you feel at the moment, for real this time. No hiding, no falling for the supernaturals’ threats and feigning submission. You could be free.
But there's no such thing as freedom. Consequences reach those who abuse earth magic, those who tamper with the balance and scheme their way up the ladder. Maybe the warnings about this stone never reached the Coven because no one survived its use. Though, it's too late to worry about the unknown.
A few steps behind, the fight ceases, only deep breaths and wind rustling leaves cutting through the silence. But, it is not entirely quiet. If you concentrate, shallow and strained breaths sound over the drying leaves.
“Where is it?” A female voice asks. Rugged, urged.
“No idea,” Wonwoo struggles to answer.
Whispering few words, your sight travels not far, and you see it happen in your mind. A pale red-headed woman has a hand on Wonwoo's throat while the rest of her limbs trap him against the ground. He doesn't fight back, he can't.
“These woods aren’t for sight-seeing,” she continues. “I hope you didn’t steal from me.”
“I have nothing that belongs to you,” Wonwoo snarks back.
Taking one step forward in their general direction, your feet betray you and erupt the faintest noise against the dry branches, but loud enough for an older vampire to hear. The woman’s head snaps up, the quickest glance around the woods with powers you fear you may not know.
You freeze, the strange magic coursing through your system on alert as well, but you’re not afraid. A sense of security takes the wheel, upstaging any other possible feelings. The magic follows your wants, making you invisible to the vampire’s sight. Her worried eyes go over you, unaware of your frozen form, before they go back to warn Wonwoo.
“I’ll make sure you don’t get your hands on my key.” the last word you hear as an echo.
Wary of other possible unwanted seekers, you rush to his aid. Wonwoo struggles to get up after the woman flees, evidence of the imbalance of power between vampires of different ages.
“Who was that?”
“You thought I was the only one after that?” He points to the box, still on your hands and pulsing with energy only you can feel. “There’s your answer.”
“You need help.” Assessing him from up close, you realize the fight must’ve been rougher than you heard. For how much time were you hiding?
“I don’t.” Wonwoo stands up, grouting with every step he takes away from you and trying to get back to the way to take you back.
“She got you pretty good, I can help.”
Scratch marks go all the way up his arms, now naked with the leather sleeves nowhere to be seen. Wonwoo isn’t healing, which means she was ready to hurt whoever came on her path, whatever kind of supernatural she came across.
At your insistence, he approaches one last time, personal space not a thing for him.
“I don’t want any kind of witchy magic on me, got it?” His breath against your face mirrors the cold wind, but you stand your ground.
“You love being a vampire, don't you.” He won't let you heal him. He hates earth magic.
“As much as you love being a witch.” He got the double meaning of your question. You both despise the other's world, want it as far away as possible. “Now give me my rock and let’s head back.”
The walk back to the bar poses no threat. With only one hour left of moonlight, the town seems almost empty. No lights on inside the tiny houses, a few drunken creatures struggling to stand up straight on the street, and the few brave humans beginning their day.
You know the schedule by heart already, and it's easy to assume that the bar will have a similar late-night atmosphere.
Wonwoo looks, for the first time since you met him 48 hours ago, scared. While you move forward, with your eyes facing front and only caring about going home, he silently focuses on your surroundings.
You should be glad he shut up for once, but his clear nervousness shines a new light on the situation.
“You didn't know she was looking for it, did you?”
“Why do you think I know her?"
You throw a glare his way and he shrugs. “I heard you guys. It didn't seem like two strangers talking.”
“I wouldn’t say I know her,” he starts, and you pop one of his blood vessels again. “The woods recharged you or some shit? Stop! We're not close, but we've been looking for the same rock for ages. I didn't think he had the same leads as me. That's all!”
“What does she want it for?”
“We didn't have time to have a heart to heart.”
Admittedly, it was a dumb question. Whatever it does besides communicating with the underworld, that alone is enough for these creatures to want it. An undiscovered source of knowledge and the chance to see the world where they originated from isn't something vampires would ignore.
“Does she know why you want it?” You question again. He'll slip eventually.
“She wouldn't be alive if she did.”
“Do you think she's onto you, then? I don't want another one of you on my back.”
Wonwoo groans, “you have a lot of questions.”
“You put me in the middle of this mess!”
“There is no mess, there's no way she knows I was with someone. You were invisible back there.”
Not far, you catch a glimpse of the bar's led sign, still on.
“You won't tell anyone what I am, right?” You ignore the way his tone switched talking about what you did in the woods. Still unsure of how that worked, you can't stomach explaining your gut feeling to this vampire.
“Your secret's safe with me, little mage.”
“Rob can't know about this. I'm serious, he'll kick me out.”
You stop just by the door you closed so many times at this same hour. He needs to get your reasoning. This isn't just another deal, not for you.
Wonwoo tries to get the doorknob, but you block him with your body. He tenses his shoulders before relaxing into his posture, his eyes going from the door down to yours.
“The Rob I know wouldn't do that,” he says, trying to calm you down.
“He said he didn't want any more magic creatures working for him!”
“He's just being dramatic! If you don't use your powers to slack off you'll be fine.”
His annoying voice is oddly calming, his reasoning somehow makes sense. You don't have much time ahead to work for Rob, he would understand. You've never used your powers in front of customers.
You move out of the way, now more relaxed, and let Wonwoo step inside the empty bar. The first rays of sun will begin illuminating the sky in less than an hour, so he should be getting back after you terminate your deal.
But, before any of you can get what you want, you hear him muttering a curse.
“What happ—” one step inside the place you thought was safe, and the issue presents itself.
Four men stare you and Wonwoo down, with their arms crossed like they were waiting for you. Hansol's eyes fall on your hands, or more specifically, the brown box that holds what he was searching for. You lock eyes with the blond witch you saw days ago, a light smirk adorning his face. The suffocating silence does nothing to help your distress.
“Brother! So good to see you!” Wonwoo opens his arms and walks towards Hansol.
The younger vampire's eyes stop him in his tracks, making Wonwoo's act fall flat.
“I didn't know you were back in town,” he simply replies.
“I came by a few days ago and made friends with your very nice waitress! Good hiring Rob!” He turns to your boss and lightly bumps his shoulder, but the man's expression doesn't change.
“Don't play dumb, Wonwoo. I know what you were doing out there.” Hansol's stare goes back to you, a shimmer of disappointment flashing through it before speaking to you, “Is that the rock I asked you for?”
“I—” Your eyes stammer back to Wonwoo.
But he's not looking at you, rather, he's in a staring competition with the rest of the group. “My rock, you mean.”
“It's not anyone's rock,” the witch says, his voice exactly what you'd expect from him. Then, he finally directs his words at you. “How did he get you to help him?”
You take his challenge, walking up to them, leaving the frozen state you adopted the second you entered the bar. “How did they get you to help them?”
“Okay, okay,” Wonwoo gets between you two, “we can work this out.”
“I told you we could work together years ago,” Hansol retorts, words almost spitting out of his mouth in disdain.
“People change!” When Wonwoo sees no one moving from their spots, the wheels behind his eyes start working again. “Why don't you give me the rock,” he asks you, “and then we can talk about this, huh?”
“You're not touching that box.” After what feels like hours, the werewolf, Mingyu, talks.
“Okay, wolfie, no need to bark at me.”
They talk between themselves, their past more complicated than you thought at first. You'd listen to them, think of a way to get out of town and never return, but a cold stare forbids you from it.
Hansol rests his hip against one of the bigger tables at the bar, eyes never leaving the box you're holding. The intensity of his gaze is worrying. He seemed calmer the day he asked for your help, shrugging and going over the plan as many times as you needed, but now that he's closer to getting it, he seemed as desperate as Wonwoo.
When he straightens and walks up to you, you prepare the countless spells you know to force him to step back as needed. But with every step, his challenging demeanor fades.
“I'll put it on the table where everyone can see it,” he explains, his hands hovering over the brown case that appears to hold the secrets of the entire universe.
You let him take it, feeling Wonwoo's fiery gaze on your side. Everyone loses focus on their conversations and observe Hansol placing the confined rock on the table. Surrounded by creatures who would kill to have it, it looks so harmless, so nothing.
“Can we talk?” Hansol materializes in front of you, his cautious eyes masked by his voice, calm again. “I need to tell you some things you deserve to know, and you have a lot of explaining to do.”
hiiiii!! omg I can't believe I'm finally posting this!!
i apologize for not doing it sooner, i have no excuses :( but I hope you enjoyed! I'll try to update on november, i swear!
⚽Chapter tags: MDNI, she’s the man au, revenge au???, cross dressing!reader, reader identifies anything but male, sports au, queer themes, university au, love-whatever the fuck kind of shape, LONG ASS FUCKING CHAPTER, Yeonam is back!, cold mingyu, a lot of yearning, and sickly sweet messages
no professional proofreading. may contain grammatical errors.
I can feel Wonwoo's gentle nudge on my back while guiding me toward the cafe's entrance. Thank God for door handles 'cause I can't feel my whole body right now.
Reflection
As we walk up to his table, he goes ahead of me to place my things on the extra chair and prep my seat. I can't help but think about how lucky his girlfriend would be, everything about him is so gentle and sweet.
"Your class ended pretty late," he says while clearing out a few of his things on the table. "Yeah..," I responded. I don't have much to say because my heart and mind are battling each other as I try to maintain my composure. He looked up at me and a smile formed slowly across his face as if he was about to tease me. "What?" I asked, my brows meet in the middle. "Nothing. You look a bit tense," he comments while he types on his laptop.
"I am not tense. I'm just a bit cold," I lied. I'm literally wearing a sweater. This made him look up at me again and he reached for my hand, held onto it, and gently rubbed his thumb against it. "Well, your hands are definitely cold..." I was avoiding his eyes and focused on our hands. OUR HANDS. I shifted out of nervousness and my eyes fell on his face. He was looking at me as if he was anticipating approval from me. He slowly placed the back of his hand on my cheek, and I could feel the rush of heat slowly made its way to my face. I'm sure my eyes were probably as big as button doll's.
"...your cheeks feel very warm though. You might catch a fever," he says as he removes his hand from my cheek to take a sip of his coffee. What felt like hours were just mere seconds, I can't believe I let this man stop my time just like that. I couldn't bring myself to look at him so I started fidgeting on my phone. He didn't ask me any questions after what he did, he just started typing away on his laptop. He occasionally let out a small cough, I glanced at him once and he let out a small laugh. I rolled my eyes in annoyance.
After a few long minutes had passed, I gathered up the courage to ask him about his research. He was confused and asked why I knew he was doing research, and I told him that he gets hyper-focused whenever he's doing research since essays are somehow a piece of cake for him. I also mentioned how he's almost identical to The Thinker whenever he's doing his research. He laughed at my remark and imitated The Thinker's pose again. After a few conversations, he decided to bring out the cards again. We exchanged questions and listened to each other's responses delicately. Wonwoo's laptop is now halfway closed, I thought about telling him off and letting him continue his research but he discreetly closed it while I continued talking.
"Uhm, why are you still here?!", an unfamiliar voice uttered. I turned around, but she was already standing beside me. It was Jen, she was only looking at Wonwoo. I turned to look at Wonwoo and he was looking at Jen but he was facing me.
"Uhm, why aren't you home yet?" he replied to Jen, "Piss off. I'm still working. And if you haven't noticed, I'm with someone right now," he gestured in my direction. Jen turns to look at me, "Oh, god, sorry. I think this is the second time I've done that. I'm Jen!" she greets me. "Yeah, we've met before," I told her as I shook her hand with a smile. "Well, since I'm already here," she says while she gets an extra chair and props herself beside me. "...might as well drive us both home, right?" She's so full of energy. No wonder she's the captain of the cheer squad. Their banter is quite funny, to be honest.
"Your class ended at 5:30 today and you chose to stick around, even if you didn't have practice today, so I could drive you home??" he responded. "Duh, and you weren't responding to messages too. I figured you'd be here since you like this place so much," she wasn't even looking at him, she was on her phone. "Hey, you know, you look so familiar to me. Did you happen to go to that elementary school near that convenience store where this idiot had his car towed?" she asked.
"Yeah, I graduated middle school there too. I don't remember seeing you there though?" I said. "I--well, we were pretty quiet back then and didn't have many friends. But I swear I've seen you before. I feel like I did..." she pondered for a while. She then started to share a few stories of her memories at our elementary school, she said that she had a really quiet playmate who declined her every time she asked them to join her wall climbing. They wouldn't climb with her but would wait for her to go down and stay with her until her mom picked her up. She also mentioned that her friend would only respond in short sentences and that she felt bad 'cause they were probably just absorbing everything she was saying.
"If you kept your mouth shut once in a while, maybe your childhood friend could've responded better," Wonwoo butted in. I couldn't help but laugh at his snide remark. "Excuse me? Unlike you, my childhood friend is actually nice enough to be my constant playmate until we had to transfer schools," she said boastfully. She continued to tell me how transferring schools made it better for her and Wonwoo since they were finally acknowledged as siblings, and not as a couple. I took it as an opportunity to finally ask, "Oh, so you guys aren't--" and before I could finish my sentence, both of them aggressively denied the common question they always get.
"Just to be clear, we aren't siblings as well," he says.
"Yeah, our mothers are like twins from different mothers. Inseparable. Unlike me and this idiot," she says.
"When Jen's dad left her at an early age, my mom offered her and her mom to stay with us for as long as they needed. And they never left," he says.
"I honestly don't mind living with them. I love his mom. She always tells me that I'm like the daughter she never had. And she's happy that her son doesn't feel lonely," she adds. She was smiling from ear to ear as she proudly said that.
"I don't mind being lonely if I can finally get some peace in my life," he teasingly says.
"Oh please, if it wasn't for me you wouldn't be able to get yourself your little girlfriend," she says as she rolls her eyes and turns to look in my direction. I didn't expect her to continue what she was saying, but she looks back at Wonwoo who's been death-glaring her for quite some time. "...ex-girlfriend, I mean," she says while looking at me.
I nodded in response. His past relationships could never bother me since it's honestly none of my business. Even if he did have a girlfriend at this present time, I wouldn't mind it at all. I would've set my boundaries if I had learned about it now. When was fate ever on my side anyway?
It wasn't too long when Jen asked me if I was getting tired, because she was. I laughed at that and told her that it was getting pretty late. I glanced at my phone to check the time. 9:30PM. I didn't notice my mom sent me a message asking if I was having dinner at home. I immediately responded and told her that she didn't have to worry about me and that I could eat by myself when I get home.
"I can wait. I just got home anyway. Take care, sweetie!"
"I'll go ahead, guys. You guys take care going home, my mom's waiting for me to get home," I tell them. I stood up and gave them a small wave of goodbye. I was about to get my things but Wonwoo stood up and got a hold of it. I looked at him and gave him a confused look, he was looking at Jen who was also getting ready to leave. "Wait, you guys can stay here as long as you want. I just really need to get home so..." I tell them, but they were already putting their things away. Jen told Wonwoo to go ahead of us and pay for the parking. Wonwoo responded that we should wait for him downstairs in the lobby.
I was so baffled that I didn't even notice Jen was already holding my bag. "Here, I'll take that," I say as I motion towards my bag, "No, no. If I give you your bag, you might run away and not come with us. We'll take you home, okay?" she says. She locked her free arm on my arm and we went to the lobby to wait for Wonwoo.
"Thank you," I tell her. She looks at me and smiles. I just can't help but notice how pretty her smile is. "Don't thank me yet, you might find me annoying once we start hanging out," she says.
"Hang out?" I ask, "Yeah. I have a feeling that this isn't the last time we'll see each other. In fact, I think I'll see you more often than I should," she giggles as she says this. She might be assuming that Wonwoo and I are getting too close. Technically, she's not wrong but she's not entirely right too.
Wonwoo arrives shortly after that. Jen insists on sitting in the back. I protest, but she immediately blocks the rear door and opens the front door. We push each other playfully until Jen hurriedly opens the back door, jumps inside, and locks it. Left with no choice, I take the passenger seat up front. I stole a quick glance at Wonwoo as I was getting in the car, he was looking straight ahead.
The ride home was pretty quiet. Jen fell asleep in the back seat, while Wonwoo seemed stern but relaxed. It felt like he was taking his time driving, he gently took turns and his pace was slower than usual. There's music playing on the radio but the volume is lowered. I tried my best to not look tense, but I couldn't rest my head properly without checking on him from time to time. We got to their place first, he woke Jen up and told her to tell his mom that he'll be dropping me off. Jen nodded and said goodbye to the both of us. I didn't realize that I was staring at him the whole time until we made eye contact before driving off.
"Hmm?" he widened his eyes, waiting for me to speak. His hand was placed on the headrest of my seat.
"Nothing. You okay?" I ask, genuinely concerned since I haven't seen him be this quiet.
"Yeah," he gives a small reassuring smile. I gave him the same response and we drove off. We arrived at my house in no time, I could see my mom outside by the patio waiting for me. She didn't see the car parked outside though, she was busy reading her paperwork.
I took my seatbelt off and looked at Wonwoo. He was looking at the flowering trees in front of our gate and the semi-empty street, he still had his hands on the steering wheel. Our street is not fairly dark but the moon had perfectly touched his face.
He leaned back in his seat, all of the light touching his face had faded but I could still see him clearly. My eyes adjusted quickly 'cause it was him. I let out a quiet sigh as I looked away from him. I had my face down, contemplating if I should ask him again if he was really okay.
"You know..." he breaks the silence, "...I like how peaceful it is here on your street."
"Hmm?" I ask, he caught me off guard.
"It's pretty peaceful here. It must feel warm in the morning, hmm?" he says as he faces me.
"Yeah, I guess so. Our neighbors are welcoming, we greet each other whenever we see each other. Actually, my favorite thing about this street is the bakery at the end of this street. Our neighbors will let us know if they're heading down to the bakery in the morning and include us in their orders," I smile at the thought of my neighbors' warm smiles. I can already smell the freshly baked bread they always get for us.
"Pretty..." he whispers softly
I was spacing out when he whispered something in response. I made eye contact with him and gave him a confused look.
"That's pretty nice. That's nice," I guess he noticed that he mumbled something out loud. I chuckled, there's an awkward atmosphere as we tried to keep the conversation going.
"I should probably go down now," I can never say a firm goodbye every time we part ways.
"Yeah, of course, sorry I'll just..." he unlocks the door and gets out of the car. He goes around to where I was standing.
I had my arms crossed, I don't know why he got out of the car and stood in front of me.
"I'll wait for you to get inside," he smiles at me, awkwardly gesturing that I should get inside already. I smiled at him and nodded, I was about to open our front gate but decided to glance back at him. He was leaning on his car, still waiting for me to take a step inside our house.
The gate suddenly opened, my mom had her hand on her hip. I was staggered, I didn't expect her to still be outside waiting for me. She only looked at me for a second and started looking around, as if she was looking for someone other than her daughter. Of course, she finds Wonwoo standing outside. He jumps up and fixes his stance. He bowed a little to politely acknowledge my mom's sudden presence.
"Good evening, Ma'am," he stood still with his hands clasped together, a soft smile plastered across his face. I found all of it hilarious so I turned away from my mom and Wonwoo.
"Well, aren't you going to introduce your friend over there?" she lightly slaps my arm. "I was going to!" and I was really going to but she caught all of us off guard.
"Mom, this is Wonwoo. He's the director of our film project in one of my classes," I signaled him to come closer, which he did abruptly.
"Hi, it's a pleasure to meet you, Ma'am," Wonwoo shakes her hand with a small, polite bow again.
"It's nice to meet you too," she looks at him but quickly shifts her gaze toward me. She had a doubtful yet mischievous expression, which I can't stand 'cause I know this will be our topic of discussion for this week...or maybe even months long.
"We're just about to have our late dinner, I was hoping maybe you could join us?" she wasn't gonna take a 'no' for an answer. I could feel my hands start to get cold, I had no idea what she had in store for him if he accepted her invitation.
"I-uhm...I'd be happy to join you if it's alright?" he asks facing me. He was waiting for me to acknowledge the invitation too.
"Sure," I tell the both of them. I feel like I swallowed a huge lump in my throat, I can feel myself breathless from the situation I'm in right now. Nonetheless, I forced a smile while cold sweat ran down my back.
We went inside right after. As I was about to enter our home, Wonwoo got a hold of my arm as he stood by our door frame waiting for my mom and I to enter first. I turned to him and he stared straight into my eyes, I thought he was nervous about having dinner with us.
"Are you sure about this?" he asks.
"Why? Are you not comfortable with this?" I ask in return
"No, I just want to make sure you're prepared to see me visit here more often after this," he smiles at the idea of what he just said.
I couldn't help but snort and cross my arms from his response. I'm honestly in disbelief. He moves his hand from my arm to my back, "Ladies first."
⚽synopsis: After your university cut your soccer team to prioritize the men’s team, it’s natural you have a falling out with your then soccer-star-player boyfriend and impersonate your twin brother at the rival university to play on their men’s team. Wait, it’s not? Oh well.
⚽pairing: afab!reader x ot13 (??? Member)
⚽genre: humor, romance, crack, eventual smut
⚽series tags: MDNI, she’s the man au, revenge au???, cross dressing!reader, reader identifies anything but male, sports au, queer themes, university au, love-whatever the fuck kind of shape, tags will vary per chapter
⚽status: ongoing
⚽started: @ 6pm cst every Wed, Thurs, Fri
⚽Tag list: please reply to this post, send an ask, or dm to get updated
Summary: You loved him, but he was your best friend. While he sometimes blurred the lines, he never saw you more than that. Since he was your best friend and you were so in love, you’d break yourself apart for him. You watched him fall in love with everyone, but you only question for how long?
☆ 18+ minors dni |☀︎fluff | ☁︎ angst | ♕smut | ♥ completed works
Word Count: 19,760 words
Pairings: Joshua Hong x Female Reader
Genre/Trope(s)/AU(s): Unrequited Love AU! (don’t say I didn’t warn you; this really won’t be a nice one). Slice of Life AU! Fluff, Angst, Smut (the holy trinity, if you will)
Content Warnings: Yelling, swearing, crying, arguments, toxic coping mechanisms, smut, unprotected sex (don’t do this).
Smut Warnings: Fingering, oral (male and female receiving). multiple orgasms, squirting, hand jobs. Body insecurities, bitchy drama from other girls (let's lift each other up). Slut-shaming.
Authors Note 1: I think All Too Well was painful for me to write because that was the story about how a relationship that I deemed perfect fell apart, but this one hurts me more because this is a story I hate reliving so much. After all, this is the story of how I fell in love with my best friend and how I never told him (sort of), but now I had to watch him fall in love with everyone but me. This story is a letter to myself back then. I wish I loved myself more back then.
Author’s Note 2: This is a Seventeen rewrite of an old fic of mine, so if it looks familiar, that’s why hehe.
Authors Note 3: Thank you so much to the following people for reading this for me @shuadotcom @gyuwoncheol @okiedokrie @wonuvs
But you felt like some days it sucked for you more than it did for others. You felt awkward, you didn’t make friends easily – if ever. You basically had just two friends, while every morning on the school bus, you’d hear chatter about someone getting drunk or kissing someone at a party.
You would have to take a deep breath and pretend you didn’t care. But you didn’t even have enough friends to hold a party, let alone be invited to one. Hell, you couldn’t remember the last time you partied.
You even celebrated your birthday with your parents last year, entering the fifteenth year of your life in your bedroom, watching movies and spending time with your parents. And you didn’t really mind it. You just wished you had someone who wanted to spend time with you.
The worst thing was hearing about other girls your age having lavish birthdays, having their first kiss, and whatnot made you realise that you had no experience of any of that. This sucked completely,considering that everything felt like a competition in high school.
Who could get their first kiss before anyone else? Who could lose their virginity first? Forget virginity; you had never even kissed a guy. A proper kiss. Not a stupid peck, but an adequate kiss – one of those you saw in movies.
You were convinced that the only way you’d ever get your first kiss would be if you were granted a magical makeover where the universe would give you a new face, a slimmer body, and more proportionate features.
Your mother said you were pretty, but what mother wouldn’t? Some stupid boys in your high school took it upon themselves to tell you throughout your entire middle school years how undesirable you were. They would pretend that their eyes burnt if they saw you and they acted like you were Medusa. In some ways, you could relate. You, too, felt like you had a curse that wasn’t your fault either. You tried all the beauty hacks, scrubbing your face with homemade sugar scrubs and buying concealers that were too light to wear, all because you just wanted to be pretty.
Feel a little worthy.
Now that you were older, you knew their hurtful words were untrue. And no, you didn’t suddenly have an epiphany and start believing you were a beauty queen, but you knew not to take such awful comments to heart. Yet, you couldn’t help how they’d sometimes seep into your mind.
However, as you stood outside your dorm room as a fresher at university, you couldn’t help but wish this was your chance to begin again. You had a new start; no one here knew you from high school; you weren’t back in your small town; you were in the city. You could start over.
Your bullies, past, and insecurities didn’t follow you here, so maybe this would be the time you’d finally be able to restart. Get a new lease on life.
“Oof, sorry,” a voice apologised as its owner bumped into you, making you look up from the floor. You were met with dark brown eyes filled with kindness, compassion, and, at this moment, regret for bumping into you.
You looked away from the stranger’s eyes to take him in. He was tall and devastatingly handsome, with a giant grin adorning his handsome face, and you immediately felt like you were thrown back into high school. Guys like him would either mock your appearance or ignore you, pretend you were a wallflower.
Girls like you didn’t get guys like him.
You immediately looked to the ground and mumbled an apology.
“Hey, what are you apologising for? I bumped into you, and I bumped into my flatmate. Nice to meet you. I’m Joshua!” The handsome man introduced himself, holding his hand to you, and you accepted it gingerly as you shook it.
“What’s your name?” Joshua asked.
“Y/N,” you replied.
“Well, I’m excited for fresher’s week! I think it’s so cool that we get to live in co-ed living spaces and get to be adults. I’m also glad that our rooms both have an ensuite, thank fuck. Not the biggest fan of sharing bathrooms,” Joshua rambled, then laughed when he saw your confused expression.
“Sorry, oversharing with my neighbour within a second of bumping into you isn’t the best first impression, is it?” Joshua joked, and you shrugged, shooting him a smile.
“Okay, well, I got to finish moving in, but will you be coming across the hall for the freshers’ party? I have a couple of friends I’m going with, but I’d love for you to join us! Unless you already have plans?” Joshua asked.
You shook your head, stunned. Was this reality?
Someone willingly invited you somewhere, not out of force or school obligation but because they wanted to ask you.
“I’d like that,” you finally answered, making Joshua smile.
“Well, Y/N, apparently freshers have been told to wear comfy footwear, whatever that means, but how about I knock at your door at nine, and we can leave together?” Joshua offered, and you nodded as you hurried back into your room, slamming the door behind you.
You were beyond confused. You had plenty of outfits to choose from, but the one time you wore a skirt to your high school disco, you heard a few comments calling you a try-hard and an attention seeker, so you went home and threw the skirt into the back of your closet never to be seen again. And now, that skirt was in your hands again, reminding you of crappy memories and the fact it was impractical as it had no pockets.
You decided to wear jeans instead. Jeans were a safe option. You chose a black, strappy top with some sequins and threw on a black leather jacket.
The outfit was inspired by several hours of Pinterest-related shopping you did before arriving at university. You wanted a fresh start, which also meant fresh outfits. You wanted everything to be new.
You grabbed your white striped Converse and put them outside, on the floor next to the foot of your university bed, a modest single. You also decided to shower, shave and exfoliate. You didn’t think Joshua would find you remotely attractive, but you wanted to at least feel somewhat pretty.
A couple of hours later, you were putting on your silver hoops when you heard a knock on your door.
“It’s open,” you said and smiled at Joshua as he walked into your room in tight-fitted jeans and a loose black tee tucked in and completed with a black belt.
“You look nice,” Joshua complimented.
You hissed as you poked your ear with your earring at his compliment. “Ouch!” you yelped.
Joshua’s eyes widened as he approached you, taking the earring out of your hand and helping you to put it on. “Did I startle you or something?” he asked, his voice too close to you, breath fanning over your neck.
“I just… I don’t get compliments, so yeah, I guess you did,” you admitted, feeling stupid for admitting something like that to a perfect stranger. He would probably think you were weird now and walk away.
“Well, that’s a shame. You deserve plenty,” Joshua said genuinely as he squeezed your shoulder, smiling widely at you.
And for the first time in so long, you felt like there was hope for your heart, and for you to find and experience everything you never got to in high school.
The void in your heart… maybe Joshua could be one who could fill it.
“Oh, Y/N, by the way! They’re having a flat party. Everyone said that the freshers’ party is usually kind of boring and that nothing much happens. They were talking about things like safe sex, and I’m sure we’re all tired of that conversation from high school,” Joshua joked as you two walked out of your shared dorm and across the hall where you stood as he informed you of the flat party.
“How many people will be there, though?” you asked, feeling insecurity and fear flood your system. You didn’t want a ton of eyes on you in your outfit. You didn’t want to hear the whispers that would inevitably make you curl up and cry into your pillow all night.
“I think twenty, give or take. It’ll be our flat and the one across ours,” Joshua replied, and you pondered over the thought of meeting nineteen new people – people who could judge, mock and make fun of you.
“Hey, you’re my next-door neighbour—well, our doors are opposite one another—you are now my friend, and I’ll keep you protected. If anyone tries shit, I’ll smack them,” Joshua vowed, making you giggle.
“What’s so funny?” he asked, smiling as he watched you giggle.
“I just tried to imagine you even trying to beat someone up,” you replied, wiping the tears of laughter that collected in your eyes, making Joshua laugh at you.
“Oh, but I am fiercely loyal. Trust me, when it comes to protecting those I care about, I’ll fight,” Joshua said seriously.
You nodded, following him across the hall to the other flat as you two walked into the kitchen, where drinks were being poured, and you could tell several people were already quite drunk. You swore you saw a couple exchange a few kisses.
“Hi, we’re from flat 2A! Our flatmates told us about the party!” Joshua introduced himself, and one of the guys, who introduced himself as Jeonghan, approached you and Joshua.
“Well, 2A, welcome to flat 2B! We do have alcohol to spare, but if you want more, you’ll have to bring your own,” Jeonghan explained, the smile never leaving his face, and Joshua nodded as he brandished a bottle of soju from his coat pocket.
“I’ve got us sorted,” Joshua grinned, and Jeonghan smiled again as he welcomed you two.
“Y/N, have a seat next to me. We 2A’s need to stick together,” Joshua joked as he guided you to the black couches, where he helped introduce you to the other students. You exchanged several words with Nia and felt she could be a good friend. She had kind eyes and a soft smile, something you were never used to ever seeing.
“Alright, I’m bored. Can we play a drinking game? It’s the easiest way to get to know one another,” another girl, whose name you couldn’t recall, complained, immediately grinning when everyone agreed.
You could see she had no actual malice. She just wanted to party. Not everyone you’d meet in life would be your high school bully. This was something you’d have to remind yourself of during every interaction.
“Okay, what do you want to play, Nia?” Jeonghan asked as he joined her.
“Truth or dare! But take a shot if you want to skip the dare or truth?” Nia suggested.
Everyone nodded–including you, even if your heart beat wildly in your chest. What if someone asked you something like if you were a virgin? You’d lie, but the stammering would give it away. Then again, you had been a wallflower all your life. No one would ever pick you, you convinced yourself as you took a large sip of Jeonghan’s concoction.
It tasted more like he poured pure alcohol in and sprinkled in some diet coke to mask the fact he did not know how to mix a damn drink, but it was a drink you were thankful for. It gave you a nice buzz, lowering your inhibitions and fears.
“Okay,” Jeonghan said after three rounds. Everyone had a pretty good buzz, and the questions and dares were getting more unfiltered and scandalous with each game. “Joshua, I dare you to give Y/N a peck on the lips,” Jeonghan said smugly, making you gulp and swallow the remainder of your drink.
As you sighed, you didn’t think the party would come to this, but you realised you were fooling yourself. People would always care about this, and you didn’t fancy being a laughingstock.
“Wait, Y/N, where are you going?” Jeonghan asked, genuine concern lacing his voice. Joshua stood up, shooting Jeonghan a slight glare.
“I just, uh, want to go to bed; you know the alcohol has hit me,” you mumbled quickly as you nearly ran out of the flat and straight back to yours. You rushed into your room, taking a seat on your bed as you took deep breaths.
It was okay; he wouldn’t remember any of this tomorrow, and you’d avoid it if needed.
“You should lock your door, you know,” Joshua’s voice startled you as you stood up from your bed at his sudden presence.
“Can I talk to you?” he asked, and you nodded, knowing there was nowhere to run.
Then again, there was that large window… But if you leapt out of it, you’d fall into a bush of poison ivy, so you decided to take the scarier option of engaging in conversation.
“I’m sorry if Jeonghan went too far with that dare,” Joshua apologised as he sat down on your bed, and you sighed, shaking your head, joining him.
“No, it’s just… I didn’t want to make you feel repulsed by doing something you didn’t want to do,” you admitted.
Joshua turned to face you. “That’s the last thing I’d feel if I kissed you. You’re so beautiful. Anyone would be lucky to kiss you,” he said, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.
“I wouldn’t know what to do,” you admitted, causing him to smile softly at you.
“May I?” Joshua asked, and your breath hitched, knowing what he meant, “not because I feel obliged, but because I want to,” he added, and you finally nodded, making him smile as he moved closer to place his soft lips on yours.
You didn’t know what to do, so you followed his movements, the way he moved his mouth ever so slowly against yours. He was kissing you like you were made of glass, and it made you feel like you were a crystal sculpture.
Fragile yet beautiful, his kiss made you feel worthy. Joshua smiled as he pulled away.
“Wow,” you whispered.
“Wow?” he asked, and you nodded.
“I’ve never had a kiss like this, just a stupid peck. But this one felt like a real kiss, so yeah… this one felt nice,” you admitted as Joshua nodded. “Sorry if I didn’t know what I was doing or it sucked, though, I just—oomph,” your rambling was cut off by his lips as they pressed against yours again.
You felt him smirk against your lips as he pulled away slowly. “You were fine,” Joshua clarified, and you nodded at him. “Look, the party isn’t over, and more people have joined. I think they’re playing music, and they’ve dimmed the lights, so if you want, we can go back?” he offered, smiling at you.
You hesitated.
“Or I can grab another bottle of soju, and we can put a movie on? Or I can leave you alone?” Joshua offered.
You smiled at him. “How about a movie?” you chose.
Joshua nodded with a grin. “Be right back! Let me go get the bottle of soju from my room. You pick the movie, but nothing horror,” he added as he left your room.
You smiled in his wake.
This was your new beginning. You could start afresh.
~~
Two weeks in, lectures had started. Joshua had become your partner in crime, your closest friend. You had also grown closer to Jeonghan and Nia; they had become part of your little friendship group, and you felt wanted and included for the first time.
You felt needed, seen, and appreciated. It was everything you ever wanted.
“Yo!” Joshua yelled, barging into your room one evening while you were reviewing your lecture material for the following day.
“Do you bother knocking anymore?” You chuckled, shaking your head as Joshua got comfortable on your bed, kicking off his shoes as he lay down.
“No. Friends don’t bother with formalities,” he told you smugly, making you roll your eyes at him.
“Why are you here, anyway? I thought you and Jeonghan wanted to go to a social?” you asked him.
“Yes, but apparently, Jeonghan and Nia decided to go on a date or something, I don’t know,” he mumbled, making your eyes widen.
“Wait, what?” you exclaimed, and Joshua shrugged.
“I don’t know. Nia didn’t give me a straight answer, just kept blushing, and Jeonghan just smirked,” he answered as he shrugged off his leather jacket and threw it to the floor.
“Shua, are you planning on crashing or something?” you asked, putting your pen down and turning to face him, and he grinned at you.
“Come on, it’s movie night,” Joshua whined playfully, making you smile.
“Oh, shut up, you’re only here because Jeonghan ditched your ass, and I’m the second choice,” you joked, but you couldn’t help the thread of insecurity that weaved its way into you.
“See, normally, I’d let that slide, but I know you might take that to heart. Hey, I live across the hall from you, and you’re one of my closest friends here, okay? I don’t want you ever to think that you’re my second choice,” he assured you softly as he got up to wrap his arms around you.
That was a new thing you got used to: Joshua’s extreme affection - his need to touch and feel loved through the act of touch. It was new to you, but you weren’t entirely mad either. It felt nice being wanted and being a source of comfort to him.
“Now, stop doodling flowers on your lecture notes and join me. I want to watch something,” he teased, and you nodded, smiling shyly as you saw the flowers etched into your work.
“Shall we do a Pixar night?” He then suggested.
“Always,” you smiled, nodding as you joined him on the bed.
As you sat down, Joshua immediately pulled you to his side. Soon enough, he was curled into you as he held you during the movie, either babbling nonsense or pointing out things you never knew existed in the film. You loved that about him, you thought to yourself. You loved his ability to see the beauty in everything.
You paused as you stared blankly at the screen.
Was that it? Did you love him?
Were you falling for your best friend?
The man who took you seriously for once and made you feel seen, were you falling in love with him?
You knew you were falling for the man who could see the beauty in everything.
You wondered hard that night… would he be able to see the beauty in you?
~~
“So, how was your date with Jeonghan then?” you asked Nia, who had just sat across you with her breakfast.
She shook her head. “It wasn’t a date. I needed to talk to Jeonghan, that’s all,” Nia explained, and you nodded at her.
“You two would make a cute couple, though?” You joked, earning a scoff from Nia.
“What would you know about relationships? Aren’t you forever single or something?” she snapped at you out of nowhere, making you feel like all your progress with your friends over the past month crumbled in a second.
“I…” You opened your mouth to defend yourself until you realised Nia was right. You were no one to give anyone any relationship advice.
“That’s what I thought. So keep your comments to yourself. Just because you kissed Joshua once does not mean you know a thing,” she added unnecessarily, her words pouring more salt into the wounds you kept so hard to keep closed.
Why did Nia know that Joshua had kissed you? And why was she using it as an insult? Did she find it laughable, or did Joshua embellish the story and tell them that he only ever kissed you because you were like a wounded puppy, and he felt sorry for you?
“I need to go,” you mumbled before speeding away, feeling nauseous as you returned to the dorms.
Would Joshua ever hurt you like that? You didn’t think so, but guys like him were never meant to be with girls like you.
“Yo, what’s up?”
You heard Joshua’s voice as you walked into the standard room, and instead of reacting like you usually did, you ducked out of the room and ran to your own. Just as you were about to close the door, Joshua’s large hand pushed between the space and wedged himself into your room.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” he asked.
You sighed, not realising that the tears had fallen down your face. “Nothing,” you mumbled weakly, earning an eye roll from Joshua as he grabbed your books out of your hands and placed them on your desk.
He then held your hand as he walked you to your bed and sat you down. “What happened? I know something did. I’ve seen your happy tears, and these aren’t them. What’s wrong?” he repeated, his hands moving to cup your face.
“Fuck, Shua! How did Nia know about us kissing that night?” you burst out, making Joshua frown.
“Fuck, I was talking to Jeonghan. I didn’t think he’d blab to her. Why, what did she do?” he asked.
“I just… I was teasing her about Jeonghan and her going on a date, and she got annoyed. So I thought to diffuse the tension, I’d joke and say that she and Jeonghan would make a cute couple. She lashed out at that. She asked me what I would ever know about relationships, as I’m a forever single girl. Then, when I couldn’t say anything, she said, “Just because I kissed you, I shouldn’t assume that I know anything,” you admitted, feeling more tears falling down your face as you recalled the comments.
“What the fuck? Why would she say that? Listen, you can always give relationship advice without being in one, okay? I’ll find out what’s wrong with her, but what she said is so beyond fucked up,” Joshua snarled. You could tell he was angry.
“That’s not necessary, Shua. But… I want to know why Jeonghan even knew about the kiss,” you mumbled.
Joshua frowned as he sat down next to you. “I’m sorry. We were just chatting, and it slipped,” he apologised.
“Well, you should be more careful. It’s not fucking okay to do that,” you muttered.
Joshua’s eyes widened at your tone. “Why? Is it embarrassing to kiss me?” he accused, and you stared at him in shock.
“Oh, don’t even go there. You know I’m the one people laugh at and look at funny. The one everyone knows got a pity invite. And now they all probably think that you kissed me out of pity, too, and now they’re laughing at me!” you ranted, making Joshua scoff at you.
“I don’t know that much. You don’t let me in about a lot in your personal life or your past, but no one pities you here. No one thinks that—only you do,” Joshua commented, making you feel small.
“We all have a past, and I’m not trying to fucking invalidate yours, but you need to get over whatever happened to you in high school. This is a fresh start, so instead of victimising yourself every chance you get, maybe get out of that self-pity bubble you’ve trapped yourself in and realise that people might give a fuck about you! But if you keep wallowing and crying over stupid shit like this, then no one will want to be your friend for real,” he huffed out.
When you didn’t speak, Joshua looked up to see how you looked even more devastated than when you came in initially crying over Nia’s comments; he had made you cry more.
“Y/N—” Joshua started to say, but you shook your head at him.
“You’re right. I’m being a pain in the ass,” you mumbled, making Joshua groan.
“That’s not what I’m trying to say, but if that’s how you keep taking it, then sure, you might as well be,” he added, and you nodded.
“Can you leave? I have an assignment due tomorrow,” you mumbled, getting off your bed and walking to your desk, turning your back to Joshua, making it clear you wanted to be left alone.
Joshua felt like a complete moron. He knew he was being a dick, but he didn’t like how you spoke in riddles. He didn’t like that. He wanted proper sentences, and you gave him emotion but no real problem.
Joshua tossed and turned in his bed that night. What was your past? Why were you always suspicious of anyone who wanted to be your friend? Why were you always so guarded?
He didn’t bother taking the time to look at the clock. Instead, he jumped out of bed and out of his room across the hall and pounded on your door until you opened it, glaring at him.
“You could have woken up the entire fucking flat,” you hissed as you let him in.
“Tell me,” Joshua breathed out, and you stared at him, confused.
“Tell you what?” you asked.
“What happened in your past?” He asked as he sat on your bed, immediately getting comfortable under your blanket.
“Didn’t you, just like, a few hours ago, oh, I don’t know, tell me to not wallow in my sadness and that I should get over it?” you mocked.
Joshua sank, shaking his head for a second and holding his hand to you. “Sit. Tell me. Look, I was careless with my words. I just wanted you to stop feeling terrible. But instead of saying that or taking measures to ensure that, I lashed out. I don’t like seeing people sad, but I can be quite clueless when helping them out,” Joshua admitted. You nodded, sitting on the bed but not taking his hand to make a point.
“I don’t know what it was about me, whether it was my hair, skin or whatever… Maybe I had a goofy smile? And I guess no one liked that? Maybe? I don’t know. All I know is that the kids in my school suddenly decided that I wasn’t worth being friends with,” you started out, struggling to keep your voice steady as you recalled your painful memories, opening old wounds that you had only wrapped in gauze, never adequately healing them.
“All these students… they would never include me in games or let me sit at their table during lunch, so I’d play alone, eat alone. And then, one year, a group of guys thought it’d be great to act like I was so hideous that they’d cover their eyes for fear of being burned by my ugly face or something,” you mumbled.
You noticed Joshua’s jaw clench out of the corner of your eyes.
“That went on for a year, the calling me ugly things, but the general feeling and act of being excluded from everything happened and continued until the last day of school. If I’m being honest, everyone just acted as if I inconvenienced them, so I carry that, Shua. I assume I’m always a burden no matter where I go.”
“I fucking hate that, but, and I ask this not to blame you, but out of genuine curiosity and concern, did no one know?” Joshua asked.
You sighed.
“Teachers weren’t blind. They knew, but if no one was physically attacking me, they kept their mouths shut. I told a counsellor, and her advice to me was that I should seek compassion for those who bully me because they’re probably victims of bullying themselves,” you scoffed, recalling the god-awful advice the counsellor gave you.
“What about your parents?” Joshua asked, and you shook your head.
“Never, no. I mean, I’m sure they guessed. I never had any birthday parties, but I didn’t want to tell them,” you mumbled.
“Why?” Joshua asked, and you shrugged.
“I felt stupid because everyone else in school could make friends; they could go a full day without being bullied or mocked or made fun of, and I couldn’t, and I didn’t want to burden them,” you admitted, letting out a muffled sob.
“They’re your parents; they wouldn’t think you’re being a burden. You’re their daughter,” Joshua offered, and you shrugged.
“I wore a skirt to a school disco once, and all the others could do was point out how funny I looked. Everything and anything I did in school, I felt like a hundred eyes watching me, waiting for me to fuck up,” you explained, taking a deep breath.
“All through school, I lived like that, so forgive me for being cautious when a new guy—especially a guy like you—openly welcomes me as his friend,” you mumbled, making Joshua quirk his brows at you.
“A guy like me?” Joshua asked.
“A hot and handsome guy. A guy like you would be the boyfriend of one of the pretty girls, someone like Nia. You’d be with her, and you two would give me sickly sweet smiles before laughing at me the minute my back was turned, and I – I guess I know you’re not that kind of a person, but when Nia snapped at me and used the fact you kissed me as an attack… it felt like that I was back in high school,” you admitted.
“I see,” Joshua said before turning you around to face him. “I’m going to ask you something, and you need to be honest with me, okay?” Joshua asked. You nodded. “Did you think I was mocking you when I told Jeonghan we kissed?” he asked.
You nodded slowly. “I know you wouldn’t, but… I have a past where guys that looked like you and Jeonghan would mock me, and girls like Nia would get guys like you while I sat on the sidelines and watched,” you reasoned, and Joshua nodded.
“You’ve survived a lot, and I’m sorry you even had to go through it in the first place, but please know one thing: I’m not going to ever hurt you like that,” Joshua said, kissing your hand softly.
“I kissed you that night because I wanted to, not because I felt pity or anything. Girls like Nia… I don’t know what to make of that sentence, but I kissed you, not her. I find you beautiful, and I’ll gladly go blue in the face repeating it to you,” Joshua proclaimed, making you smile.
“It’s not out of pity either. I wish you could see yourself the way I do one day,” he inched forward.
“Can I?” He finally asked.
You nodded, your eyes fluttering shut as you felt his soft lips on yours. Moments later, Joshua pulled away and smiled at you.
“You’re beautiful. And I hope you’ll understand that every time I kiss you, it’s not because I have an ulterior motive but because I want to.”
You didn’t know how to respond, so you simply blushed and smiled at him, nodding.
“Now cuddle me. I want to sleep, and I know you don’t have an assignment tomorrow, considering you messaged me saying freedom in capitals,” Joshua joked as he pulled you into his arms.
You couldn’t help but melt at the fact that he remembered that little detail that would haunt you and make you overthink everything Joshua would ever do.
~~
You had never slept next to a boy before. Let alone wake up with his arms wrapped around your waist and his leg thrown over yours. But here you were the following day – laying in Joshua’s vice-like embrace.ou moved slightly to get up, and you thought you were successful until you heard Joshua let out a soft moan.
You froze. You were sure that was just a regular moan he would let out in his sleep until he moved his leg, and you felt his hardness against your inner thigh. You might have never felt the touch of another pair of lips on yours until a month ago, but you weren’t an idiot. You could tell an erection when you felt one. You knew Joshua was turned on. But then again, you recalled reading that sometimes men just get hard for no reason.
That was it, you thought to yourself. It wasn’t because he was attracted to you; it was simply because there was a concept known as ‘morning wood’, and Joshua was prominently exhibiting it. Still, you couldn’t help feeling butterflies in your stomach. You couldn’t help the arousal you felt start to pool in your panties.
You were a virgin, not a moron; you knew what was happening to you. And you needed Joshua to leave as soon as possible so that you could take care of the problem he caused.
“Joshua,” you mumbled, trying to move away from him, which only made him move against you more, allowing his length to brush against your inner thigh over and over. He was incredibly long, is what you gathered. Very well endowed.
“Stop moving,” Joshua mumbled sleepily as he pulled you tighter to him, moving his hips again as his length brushed against you, this time dangerously close to your aching cunt. You knew you needed to stop him before it escalated, and he regretted it.
“Shua!” you yelped, pinching him, making him groan as he jolted awake, glaring at you as you broke free from his embrace.
“Woman, will you let me sleep?” Joshua complained, his morning voice doing nothing to ease the ache in your pussy. It was so husky and deep… You wanted that voice to wake up to every morning for the rest of your life.
“Not until that goes away!” you blurted out, making Joshua look at you funny until he followed your gaze down to his cock–his very hard cock.
“Oh fuck! Well… this is just a normal thing,” Joshua said, chuckling, and you knew you hated how that made you feel. You wished to be the reason to arouse him, but he chalked it up to biology. “If I’m not out of line in saying this, you would also cause a similar problem, and holding you in my arms like that last night… felt nice. So I’m sure my body was showing its appreciation in ways I didn’t,” he explained further, making you look down at the duvet with a stupid smile adorning your face.
“Joshua, if you need to take care of it, you should do it. I don’t know what to do,” you mumbled quickly, earning a nod from Joshua.
“Wait, ever?” Joshua asked, hating how incredulity laced his voice.
“No. You don’t need to sound so shocked,” you mumbled, feeling defensive.
“I’m not; I’m sorry, it’s the ass crack of dawn, and my brain is barely functioning,” Joshua defended.
You rolled your eyes at him. “And yet your cock was nestled in my ass crack,” you teased, your eyes widening in horror when you realised what you said.
“Did you like it?” Joshua suddenly asked; his demeanour changed as he leaned back against the wooden headboard, making you gulp.
His erection was more prominent with this slight adjustment.
“I asked you a question. Did you like my cock rubbing against you,” Joshua repeated, this time his eyes burning into yours, and you knew you couldn’t lie.
“What am I meant to say? I’m human,” you replied lamely, hoping it’d give him enough of an answer for him just to drop it.
“So, it turned you on?” Joshua asked instead.
You glared at him. “Why do you want to know?”
Joshua smiled at you, admitting, “Because to think you are turned on… it’s fucking hot,”
You wanted to yell but bit your lip to avoid verbalising your thoughts.
“It’s even hotter knowing that I’m the reason behind it,” he added, and you kept staring at the duvet.
“You should go,” you said abruptly, making him look at you in confusion.
Even you weren’t entirely sure why you said that.
Well, you did know why you didn’t want to be intimate with him: for fear that he’d take one look at what you had to offer and be repulsed. You’d be led to believe so what would stop him?
“If I overstepped,” he started to say, and you shook your head and held your hand out to him.
“You didn’t! Just go!” you rushed, getting off the bed, indicating to Joshua that he, too, should leave.
“I’ll catch you later?” Joshua quietly offered, and you nodded, waving to him awkwardly as he walked out of your room.
You let out a breath you were holding after he left.
You shook your head, cursing yourself for kicking him out, but you knew you did the right thing. Joshua, just like any other man, had eyes and would be disgusted once he saw what you hid under your clothes.
~~
Later that day, you walked into your lecture hall, cursing, when you saw that the only empty seat left was the one next to Nia. You sighed as you moved to sit down next to her, and she hesitated for a second before moving her bag down to the floor allowing you to sit next to her.
“Hey,” you mumbled.
You weren’t entirely sure why you were trying to converse with her when she had been rude to you, but you didn’t have many friends. This meant you didn’t have very high standards or understand boundaries.
“Hi,” Nia replied. Her tone was clipped.
You assumed it was because she didn’t want to be disruptive during a lecture. She gave you a tight-lipped smile before returning to the front of the screen.
“Y/N, hold up,” Nia called after you as you started to walk out of the lecture theatre once the professor had dismissed everyone. “Thanks for ratting me out to Joshua, by the way,” she taunted, and your eyes widened.
“Look, I’m sorry for what I said to you. That was really shit. But you ran to Joshua, who then told Jeonghan, and then Jeonghan took it upon himself to lecture me about being kind to one another for twenty minutes. Either way, I shouldn’t have said what I said, so this is my apologies.
“We good?” Nia asked, and you nodded.
Not understanding what boundaries meant and not having many friends made you realise that your bar for human decency could have been higher. They needed to be higher. You knew that what Nia said to you was barely an apology. It was more of an “I’m sorry you got offended” apology, a shallow apology usually reserved for celebrities and their notes app.
“It’s fine, I’m sorry, it’s just that Joshua caught me crying that day, and I guess I ended up telling him everything,” you rambled, biting your tongue, realising that you should have done it sooner, for it would have prevented you from oversharing.
Your bond with Joshua was sacred; you didn’t want any other girl or anyone to come in between that. You knew it was selfish and childish, but he held your entire life in his hands, and he didn’t know it.
“So, are you two close friends then?” Nia asked as you two walked down the hall to the quad.
“Yes,” you confirmed. You were shy about most things, but not this. You were his friend, one of his closest.
“Then, do you know if he’s currently got his eyes on anyone?” Nia asked, her tone lowering slightly and your eyes widening at her question.
“Wait, what?” you asked, and Nia smiled at you, the kind of smile that reminded you of the girls in school who called you pretty – only to say that you were pretty ugly.
“Oh, I’m just screwing with you. He’s hot, but don’t worry. I don’t need your advice to get him. Besides, he and I have already kissed once,” Nia casually stated, making your heart sink.
“What? When?” you asked, your voice a mere whisper.
“Oh, you know, the night you chickened out for the dare to get pecked by Joshua? Someone dared him to kiss me after you left, and he did. I have to say I wanted to know what else he could do with his mouth,” Nia chuckled, making you feel like your stomach was twisting.
You needed to leave.
You couldn’t hear this.
“I have to rush back, but I’ll catch you later?” you rushed, and Nia smirked, nodding and sending you a sickly-sweet smile.
You were beyond thankful that your feet still moved because your mind was starting to malfunction and short-circuit.
Joshua kissed you after he kissed Nia. That meant it was a pity kiss. And not only that, you were so taken away by the sweet cherry taste on his lips. Now it hit you that the taste was not only cherry but also peach, and it wasn’t his lip balm. It was hers.
Joshua had kissed you without even bothering to remove the evidence that he kissed Nia minutes ago.
But it wasn’t his fault, you thought. You were so desperate to be loved and feel the intimacy – to feel a proper kiss, the kind of kisses your friends bragged about – that you didn’t care that your first proper kiss was not only a pity kiss but that you also tasted another woman’s lip balm with it.
You felt so stupid.
Joshua had lied to you about what the kiss meant and failed to tell you that he kissed Nia. But then again, he was under no obligation to tell you anything. Where his lips went was not your business. You weren’t his girlfriend. You were just his friend.
“Y/N, keep storming around like that, and you’ll burn a hole into the rug,” Joshua joked, his voice interrupting your thoughts when you realised that while you were busy ripping yourself to shreds, you reached back to the dorms. “Oh, by the way, I got something I want to show you. Can I show you in your room?” he asked excitedly.
You couldn’t help the jealousy, bitterness, and anger that overtook your following words. “Sure, but are you sure that you didn’t show Nia first and are putting on an act now, pretending to show me?” you spat at him, taking Joshua aback.
“Run that by me again?” he asked, and you scoffed as you opened your room door. Joshua walked in behind you, making you glare at him.
“You kissed Nia that night. The night you kissed me, the first night. You kissed her and then kissed me,” you mumbled, hating how vulnerable and weak you sounded at this moment.
Joshua kept going from being your safe space to a man who toyed with your feelings.
“I, fuck, how did you find out?” he asked, running his hand over his face and letting out a deep exhale, and you stared at him.
“You’re not going to deny it?” you asked, and Joshua shrugged.
“I’m not going to lie to you,” he offered bluntly, making you scoff.
“You had no problem lying to me that night,” you countered, and Joshua shook his head at you.
“I didn’t lie. I omitted a fact. But yeah, you’re right. Why did this conversation even occur? What did Nia say, exactly?”
You sighed at Joshua’s questions. “Doesn’t matter. The point is that you kissed me after you kissed her,” you mumbled.
Joshua frowned as he inched closer to you to place his hands on your face, making you look at him. “Why does that matter?” he asked so innocently that you felt like you couldn’t even be upset.
But you were. “Because I was a consolation kiss! You might not see it that way, but I fucking do, Joshua! I do. And you know what? It fucking sucks to know that you only kissed me because you felt bad for me. You kissed me after kissing the pretty girl, too, to what? Show that you’re capable of charity?” you accused.
Joshua groaned. “I get your past, and I get why it’s making you lash out in the ways it is, but you cannot compare everything I do to the people who fucked you over in the past! I’m not one of them,” Joshua defended, earning a dry laugh from you.
“Really? Because you are sure as shit fucking me over like them. I don’t want you kissing me or saying lewd things when you get hard from cuddling me because you think it’s easy to fuck with my feelings. I might not have any experience with all this, Joshua, but I have plenty of experience with being hurt and fucked over. You’re not the one I expected it to come from, though,” you spat back.
Joshua just sighed. “Look, come find me when you want to talk like an adult. But if every little piece of gossip sets you off like this, I cannot keep up,” Joshua announced as he stormed out of your room.
It was only your room he left… so why did it feel like he walked out of your life and broke your heart with the door as it slammed shut behind him?
~~
You didn’t talk to Joshua for two weeks.
You’d bump into him often. How could you not? He stayed across from you, and it was hard to avoid your neighbour. Except it seemed like he would go out of his way to ignore you and express his disdain for you.
At first, you assumed you were being dramatic, just like Joshua would call you dramatic. Maybe he, too, realised he wanted nothing to do with you, just like everyone else.
“Penny, for your thoughts?” the guy suddenly asked you one day when you returned from your lecture.
“You’re talking to me now?” you asked, puzzled. Joshua smiled, nodding.
“I thought I wasn’t enough of an adult?” you snapped, making Joshua wince as you unlocked your door.
However, he still followed you inside your room, making you narrow your eyes at him.
“I didn’t realise I invited you in?” you asked, and he frowned, looking down at his feet.
“I know I did something shitty to you, and it’s even worse because I wasn’t an adult myself. Hell, I stormed out of your room,” Joshua admitted, chuckling, and you sighed deeply at him.
“I know I was too much. I just have a past,” you mumbled, and Joshua nodded.
“I’m not trying to negate it, Y/N, but at some point you need to move past it. You have a clean slate to do whatever you want; why don’t you take advantage of that?” Joshua offered, and you nodded at him.
“I know, and I get it. But with my past, Shua, I just – I let it haunt me so much that I end up struggling to believe that anyone could ever like me for me,” you admitted, and Joshua frowned as he moved to stand in front of you, his tall frame dwarfing you.
“I’m so sorry that I was not more understanding. Truly, I am. I should have been, fuck. I just let my immaturity get the best of me,” Joshua apologised, and you shook your head at him.
“We’re both learning. You have no reason to apologise to me. I’m serious. You don’t,” you admitted, and Joshua smiled softly at you as he wrapped you in a tight embrace.
“How about we blow off steam at the party that Jeonghan’s flat is hosting?” Joshua offered.
“I don’t know, the last party did nothing but cause drama, or rather, I overreacted,” you mumbled softly, making Joshua shake his head at you.
“Your reactions are valid. Please don’t let me or anyone take that away from you,” Joshua comforted you, making you smile softly at him.
“So, what’s the occasion of this party?” you asked, and Joshua shrugged.
“I honestly don’t know, and I quote Jeonghan on this: who needs a reason? A party is a party,” Joshua chuckled, making you smile along with him. “Come on, go get ready, and we can go!” Joshua cheered, making you smile at him. “Look, we’re going to have ups and downs in our friendships. Isn’t that normal? But I promise I’ll keep the dramatic storming out of rooms to a minimum,” he joked, making you nod at him.
“What should I wear?” you asked, making Joshua grin.
“Whatever you feel comfortable in,” he answered, making you swoon at his answer.
It was a simple statement, but he never pressured you to look a certain way. But you still let your demons get the best of you.
Was the reason why he didn’t deem it necessary to tell you to wear something nice that, regardless of what you wore, he’d never consider you attractive, so it didn’t matter?
“I can hear you overthinking. I’m saying wear something comfortable because it’s a flat party, not because I think you can’t pull off something else. I know you can. Hell, if you want to wear a dress and heels tonight, I support it, but I know you won’t be comfortable in it, not at a house party,” Joshua rationalised, calming the demons in your mind and making you nod and smile at him.
“Sorry,” you gave him a sheepish smile, and Joshua shook his head at you.
“Stop apologising for how you feel,” he said as he moved to open your wardrobe.
“Oh, what about this? It’s sparkly?” Joshua beamed as he handed you a sparkly green top.
You bought it on a whim once; it was what all the pretty girls in the magazines wore, it was what all the cute girls wore, and you just thought that if you wore that, you too would be pretty.
“It’s stunning, and I think it’d make you sparkle and look like a mermaid,” Joshua laughed.
“Mermaids are attractive?” You asked, taking the green top from him.
“Listen, Ariel is fucking hot,” he declared, making you laugh.
“She nearly gave up everything for a guy. A guy who she knew nothing about, and all because he was handsome,” you mumbled.
“Not a Little Mermaid Fan?” Joshua asked, and you shook your head.
“Not a fan of how much she gave up for him,” you mumbled, and he nodded, sensing that if he didn’t divert your attention somewhere else, this conversation would take a very gloomy turn.
“To be fair, and I’m just assuming here, it wouldn’t be easy to sustain a relationship with a damn fish,” Joshua said knowingly, making you laugh.
“Okay, get out, you fish expert. I need to get ready,” you joked, pushing Joshua towards your door, and he nodded.
“Be ready in about thirty minutes?” Joshua offered, and you nodded.
~~
You were done with your shower, and as you walked out, you almost liked what you saw in the mirror.
Almost.
You wore the sparkly green top, paired it with black jeans, and wore your stripped Converse. You dusted a light wash of makeup on your face and some mascara on it then reached for the peach-flavoured gloss and dabbed your lips with a small amount before smiling in the mirror.
“Ready?” You heard Joshua yelling obnoxiously outside your door, making you cringe at him.
“You’re insufferable,” you giggled as you opened the door, laughing at him.
Your laughter stuck in your throat when you took in Joshua’s appearance.
“Take a picture. It’ll last longer,” Joshua giggled, making you glare at him.
“You look good, okay,” you huffed, making Joshua smile.
“Likewise. Shall we go? Jeonghan’s been texting me. Oh, by the way, Nia will be there,” Joshua said, his voice softening as he spoke her name.
“Shua, I can manage. She might have just been having a bad day. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s fine. It’s all in the past,” you said, not meaning it entirely, but Joshua was right. You couldn’t live your entire life crying at every upsetting situation.
“If she steps out of line, I’ll put her back in place, I promise,” Joshua added, and you smirked at him.
“Kinky,” you joked before slapping a hand over your mouth, your eyes widening in shock at what you said.
“Oh, do you want to find out?” Joshua teased, making you look down shyly.
“Come on, Jeonghan is waiting,” you said shyly as you dragged him across the hall to flat 2B.
You didn’t see it then, and how you wish you did because your words lit a fire of envy in Joshua, one he could not douse and one that ended up ruining the night.
~~
The house party was going quite well, there were no silly dares and no bitchy comments, but you couldn’t place your finger on Joshua’s behaviour. The entire night, he was distant and standoffish with you.
Hell, he was chatting with Nia for a fair bit, but you chalked it up to the fact that you were a chronic over-thinker and that Joshua didn’t necessarily mean to do what he did with the intent of hurting you.
“I like your top, by the way,” Jeonghan said rather loudly and drunkenly, and you smiled, thanking him.
“Oh, thank you. Actually, Joshua helped pick it out,” you answered, and you saw Joshua smile warmly at you. He was about to respond when Nia spoke before him instead.
“Why? You can’t choose your outfits or something?” Nia mocked, earning a couple of chuckles from what you could only guess were her minions.
“I…” you mumbled, lost.
Joshua was about to speak, but something stopped him. That something was Jeonghan, who shot daggers at Nia, making her roll her eyes.
“Anyways, I was promised games, and all we’ve done is drink and make small talk,” Nia complained, and Jeonghan nodded slowly.
“Get the cards then, and we can start playing,” Jeonghan said as he turned to face you.
“You look beautiful, don’t listen to her. She has this bitchy persona, but she’s actually nice. Just got to get past the ice-cold persona,” Jeonghan mumbled to you.
You smiled at him before noticing how Joshua smiled at Nia and whatever she whispered.
Didn’t he say he’d set Nia straight if she spoke out of turn? So why didn’t he?
“Alright, we’re just playing snap but with dares and forfeits if you don’t do your dare,” Nia explained once one of her friends brought her a deck of cards to her.
It was quite an easy game, and the night was progressing smoothly. Nia hadn’t made a single snide comment, and thankfully, your speed made you avoid some stupid dares.
“Oh! Joshua, you lost that round. You have to complete a dare!” One of Nia’s friends squealed, making you wince.
“Ugh, I knew it. What do I have to do?” Joshua asked, smiling. You felt your heart starting to pound in your chest.
“Make out with Nia. I know you guys only kissed, but this time, a proper make out,” Nia’s friend suggested, making your heart fall into your stomach with her suggestion.
Surely, he wouldn’t say yes.
“Sure, why not?” Joshua chuckled as he turned to face Nia, who shot you a smirk before meeting to place her lips on his, earning a few wolf whistles and cheers from the others in the room as they kissed.
They fit together. It made sense. She knew what to do. You didn’t.
You could feel your eyes burn with tears and knew you had to leave. You couldn’t watch this. You couldn’t keep watching this.
You got up to leave but got up so hastily that you failed to notice that your glittery top got snagged by the edge of the table. The tear was barely noticeable, but the scrape of your chair against the floor was loud and got everyone’s attention, including Nia who smirked at you.
“See, this is why you should dress for your body, not just based on trends. I guess that the rip was the universe’s way of letting you know that the shirt needed to be let out a bit,” Nia said with a straight face, her voice devoid of emotion, but her words were laced with venom.
The venom that you could feel was starting to move in your body and to your heart and brain, making you hate everything about your body and yourself more than usual.
Nia’s vile comments finally made Joshua snap as he pulled away from her and stood up.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He shouted at Nia as she shrugged.
“She looked silly in that top. Is that why you picked it up, Shua? Because you couldn’t resist, knowing how stupid she would look in that?” Nia added, smirking. Her words were slurred, so you knew not to believe her, or at least that’s what you told yourself.
But then again, doesn’t a drunken mind speak sober thoughts?
“Y/N!” Joshua called out as you turned your back to everyone and tried to leave.
You took a deep breath before turning to him. “I’m fine, just tired,” you mumbled before exiting the flat.
~~
After the flat party, you returned to your room, and you stood in front of your mirror in your underwear after a shower.
You stared hard; you could see every dent, mark, and scar on your body.
You weren’t chubby, far from it, but you weren’t a size two.
You had curves, which came at the cost of more stretch marks.
You had long, wavy hair that never seemed to cooperate with you.
Nia was right; you didn’t look good.
You were so immersed in picking yourself apart that you failed to notice Joshua walk in and wrap his arms around your waist.
“I’m so fucking sorry,” he mumbled into your bare skin, and you could feel his toned arms under the flimsy fabric of your bra.
“For what? She’s just telling the truth. She’s the kind of flawless I wish I could be,” you mumbled, squinting at the reflection.
You hated what you looked like. You sighed deeply before removing Joshua’s arms around you.
“I fucked up. I said I’d defend you, and I didn’t,” Joshua mumbled, and you sighed, sitting on your bed.
Joshua sat down, kneeling, making you look into his big eyes shining with unshed tears.
“Why the fuck are you the one about to cry? I’m the one that got body-shammed in front of everyone. You got the pretty girl, and you got to even kiss her!”
“I’m about to cry because I have been spouting this loyalty bullshit from day one, and when it came to you, I just let it go. And I guess it’s because you dropped my hand when I was being suggestive and ran off to find Jeonghan instead,” Joshua grumbled, and you scoffed at him.
“That’s such a pathetic reason. I only ran off like that because, you know, I’m uncomfortable with sexual innuendos and jokes. I’ve never experienced anything, so how can I pursue a conversation further?” You questioned.
Joshua just frowned as he looked to the ground.
“I didn’t,” you started to say and moved to kneel until you were on your knees, sitting in front of Joshua. “I didn’t run because I wanted to get cosy with Jeonghan. But I’ll say he was a better friend than you were tonight,” you finished and stood up, grabbing an oversized shirt off your chair, pulling it over your body, and moving to Joshua.
“I was seeing red, and like a fucking dick, I said nothing. I didn’t pick that top for you because I wanted to mock you. I picked it because you looked lovely in it. It fits you like a glove,” Joshua spoke, and you scoffed at him.
“Are you sure I didn’t look like a stuffed turkey instead?” you mocked, and Joshua shook his head.
“I don’t know what Nia’s deal is—I don’t fucking know—but you didn’t look silly in the outfit. It’s your body; you wear what you want. You looked lovely, my angel,” Joshua smiled as he spoke, and you quirked your brows at him.
“My angel?” you echoed, and Joshua blushed slightly.
“I give nicknames,” he mumbled.
“Oh,” you mumbled.
“Only to the ones I love,” he replied, making your heart swoon.
You knew you already had it wrong for Joshua, but his saying made you swoon more. You felt safe, and you knew that you were falling for him.
“I didn’t look stupid in the green top?” you asked again, and Joshua smiled, turning to face you.
“No, you didn’t. Fuck Nia and her stupid ass opinions,” Joshua huffed, hoping it’d make you laugh, but somehow it failed.
“Wasn’t that your aim tonight? To fuck her. I mean, I gathered that was the aim because you leapt at the chance to kiss her,” you spat at Joshua, who shrank at the accusation.
“I just… fuck, I screwed up. I told you that I got mad, and I fucked up. I fucking did. I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Joshua mumbled, and you sighed.
“It hurt to watch that,” you voiced, and Joshua nodded.
“Did, uh, did you want to kiss me instead?” Joshua asked, and your eyes widened.
“Is this some sort of stupid game you play where you kiss Nia first and then come back and give me a pity kiss? Because if it is, I want nothing to do with it,” you said as you tried to get up, only to have Joshua pull you back onto his lap, glaring at you.
“It’s not. Fuck, do you not realise that I had kissed you before, which wasn’t a fucking pity kiss? Two, I got hard for you. And now I want to kiss you because you looked amazing at that party, but you look even better in this stupid shirt that I kind of want to rip you off!” Joshua exclaimed, making your eyes widen.
“Oh,” you said, unsure of how to respond.
Joshua rolled his eyes at you. “Yeah, oh,” he huffed, making you giggle.
You didn’t know where you felt a surge of confidence rush into your blood, but you did, and as it did, the words tumbled out of your mouth sooner than you could stop them.
“Then kiss me,” you whispered out.
Okay, maybe you weren’t that confident, but you said the words, and you knew Joshua heard them because his grip around your waist tightened.
Joshua didn’t say anything. He simply pulled you in closer until your lips met his. You ignored the taste of cherry lip gloss on his lips and instead tried to enjoy his taste, but you couldn’t. You eventually sighed into the kiss as you pulled away.
“Did I do something?” Joshua asked, and you shook your head.
“I just… I keep tasting Nia’s stupid cherry lip gloss on your lips, and it’s killing the mood,” you admitted, making Joshua sigh as he used his shirt to wipe his lips.
“Try again,” he encouraged, and so you did.
This time, you could taste him; the cherry flavour was an aftertaste, but one you could swallow because you liked him too much to care.
As the kiss progressed, Joshua’s grip on your waist only got tighter, and you kept moving against his hips, making him groan into the kiss. He was so big and thick that you could feel yourself grow wetter each minute.
“Wait, stop,” he mumbled against your lips, his grip still tight on your waist because he knew you’d run away the second he told you to stop. “Where does all this leave us? The slight dry-humping, the kisses?” he asked, and you smiled at him.
You wanted to tell him you liked and wanted to date him, but you didn’t want to scare him off. So, you decided to choose an option that would only hurt you.
But if that was the only way you could ever have Joshua, so be it.
“How about we just keep it casual?” You said, trying to sound nonchalant and unbothered, and Joshua nodded.
“I agree,” Joshua replied, not leaving room for an explanation as his lips were back on yours instantly, making you moan into the kiss.
Casual it is.
~~
Over the next three weeks, you learnt what casual meant. It meant still being friends with Joshua and having your usual movie nights with him. And then sometimes you’d end up on his lap, kissing him.
A week after the casual arrangement began, you found yourself bare-chested and at the mercy of Joshua’s lips and hands running all over your breasts while you palm his hard length over his boxers.
In the second week of understanding what casual meant, you found yourself clenching around his long fingers as they moved inside of you. You didn’t entirely realise how it happened. Still, it felt so good that you didn’t want to stop it. You were riding the wave of euphoria for as long as you could, and you couldn’t see it crashing anytime soon. You had also given your first blowjob. It was glorious watching Joshua fall apart under your touch. It was a sight you wanted to be tattooed in your brain.
During the third week of understanding the word casual, you felt pleasure you only thought was confined to porn and smutty fanfiction, but when you two stumbled back drunkenly after a night out, you couldn’t control your hormones.
You wanted him.
“Joshuaie!” you slurred slightly as he helped you back to your room.
It was a Friday night, and you had too much to drink. As a result, you ended up stumbling a bit, but you weren’t drunk, far from it. But you also had a pep to your step, one that did not help you walk.
“Sit,” Joshua ordered as he helped you sit on your bed.
His tone was slightly cold, and you immediately felt like he had poured cold water all over you. With one word, you sobered up immediately and let out a sniffle.
“I’m sorry I ruined your night out. I’ll be fine. You can go back and enjoy yourself,” you mumbled as you kicked your shoes off and scurried under your covers.
Joshua sighed as he walked into your ensuite bathroom, grabbed your makeup wipes, returned to you, and sat on your bed.
“Sit up,” he said, his tone softer this time, his kind eyes sparkling with endearment.
“You didn’t ruin my night, none of it. Fuck, I just got annoyed. A few guys made some shitty comments about you, and I wanted to punch them,” Joshua explained as you sat up, and he moved to wipe the makeup off your face gently.
“Oh, they probably said I looked hideous; no need to get mad at that, nothing I’m not used to,” you admitted, letting out a sad chuckle.
“Is that what you fucking think?” Joshua asked, and you shrugged, at which he sighed, kicking off his shoes.
You shrugged. “Is it not?”
Joshua shook his head. “Fuck, they couldn’t stop talking about all the sexual things they wanted to do to you, and I wanted to just punch them. No man should ever talk about a woman like that. It’s so stupid,” Joshua huffed out, making you smile.
“Well, at least I was being complimented,” you sassed back, spilling out of your bed as you drunkenly stumbled into your bathroom and stepped into your shower, the alcohol making you forget Joshua’s presence in the room.
Thankfully, you always kept an oversized shirt in the bathroom, which you changed into before stepping out of the shower and walking back into the room.
“The things those guys were saying weren’t complimentary. They were sexist and disgusting hell. If it were me…” Joshua trailed off when you joined him on your bed.
“What would you say, huh?” you asked, and Joshua smiled as he inched closer to you.
“I’d do more than speak,” he answered.
The atmosphere in the room suddenly changed; it was now filled with want and desire, and you decided to bask in the glory and be bolder.
“Show me then,” you mumbled.
“You’ve been drinking,” Joshua mumbled, and you shrugged.
“Your point? I’m buzzed, but I can consent. I can count to ten backwards if you want,” you joked.
Joshua smiled as he stood up, making you stand up with him. He pulled the curtains over your window so that the only thing illuminating the room was your table light. Joshua moved to pull the leather jacket off his body and tossed it on your desk before pulling you into a soft kiss.
“God, I’ve wanted to do this since I saw you tonight,” he admitted, making you smile. “Can I take this off?” he asked, and you hesitated for a second, then nodded.
“Just know that… I don’t look like a model underneath,” you mumbled suddenly. Even though Joshua had been intimate with you before, you still felt insecure every time.
“I’m glad you don’t. You’re beautiful. So fucking beautiful,” Joshua praised you as he pulled the fabric off your body, leaving you naked.
He walked you backwards until the backs of your knees touched his bed. He gently pushed you down, and you moved back on the bed as he crawled between your legs. He placed his lips on yours. You moaned into the kiss, and Joshua slipped his tongue into your mouth, deepening it. He pulled away gently just to look at you.
“Can I touch you?” Joshua asked, and you nodded slowly.
He smiled as he placed his lips on yours again, kissing you again, and then moved his mouth to your breasts.
“Fucking hell, these tits. You have no idea how many times I’ve wanted to suck and bite them.”
You moaned as he squeezed your breasts, his fingertips rubbing your nipples.
“Each time you were in a low-cut top, I wanted nothing more than to bring you into a room and take your tits in my mouth.”
You squeezed your thighs as Joshua’s words did nothing but torment your aching cunt.
He moved a hand down your body. “You’re so fucking gorgeous,” he said as he moved to lay down between your legs.
He pushed your legs apart, and his tongue found your cunt. He placed several kisses on your cunt, each kiss making you buck into his mouth. He wrapped an arm around your waist.
“Easy, princess, I’m going to take good care of you.” You nodded as he ran his tongue along your folds, moaning as he tasted you. He circled his tongue around your entrance as he pushed his long and thick tongue inside you.
“Fuck, Joshua,” you cried out, tugging on his hair.
He growled into your cunt when you tugged on his hair, the vibrations making you shake. He pulled his mouth away from you and pushed two fingers inside you. He stood on his knees and stared at you directly as he hooked his fingers inside you, his other hand pressing down on your stomach.
“Hold still, princess; I will make you scream my name.”
You nodded, and Joshua started moving his hand up and down vigorously. You could hear just how wet you were getting.
“Come on, princess, I can hear how fucking wet you are. Wouldn’t it be nice if you just squirted all over my hand?”
You arched your back as Joshua kept fingering you.
“Pretty girl, I can hear you squirt for me. I can make you squirt again, don’t worry.”
You kept whimpering until something inside you snapped, and you felt your vision fade as you came hard. You felt yourself squirt all over Joshua’s fingers. He pulled his fingers out of you and sucked on them.
“God, you’re so fucking sweet,” Joshua moaned, praising you. You felt a bolt of confidence surge as you got onto your knees. “You don’t have to?” he assured, but you shook your head at him.
“I want to. Will you let me?”
You reached forward and wrapped your mouth around his length. Well, as much as you could, your hands made up for what your mouth couldn’t. You ran your tongue along his length until you fixated your mouth around his tip. You kept sucking his tip, and your hands reached down to play with his balls. Joshua bucked in your mouth as you kept sucking his tip.
“Fucking hell.”
You smirked. Catching Joshua off guard was the only way to get him to submit to you.
“Fuck, baby, if you keep doing that, I’m going to cum!”
You kept bobbing your head up and down his length until you felt him still in your mouth and felt his warmth release down your throat. You pulled away, slowly swallowing his release and giving his sensitive tip a final lick.
“Fuck, get over here,” Joshua moaned as he pulled you into his arms for a sweet kiss.
You giggled into his chest as he cuddled you, making him nudge you. “What’s on your mind?”
“You’re perfect,” you said. No mumbling, nothing. You said it confidently.
“No one’s perfect,” Joshua countered, “plus, you’re only saying that because of the amazing orgasm I just gave you,” Joshua joked, making you groan and sit up.
“No, you are! You’re so fucking perfect, just you are. I’ll explain someday; right now, it’s fuzzy, but you’re the closest thing to perfection,” you mumbled as you laid back down and curled into Joshua’s embrace.
“Fuck, I’m going to miss you over winter break,” Joshua spoke, and you nodded.
“Only three weeks, nothing’s going to change. I’ll still be here,” you said, touching his lips and making him smile into the kiss.
~~
The thing about bold statements is that they often come with uncertainty and pain should things not pan out the way you want. Which is precisely what happened to you.
You said in three weeks nothing would change, but you were wrong because you told yourself that when you were high off the orgasms and falling in love with Joshua, your love only grew stronger every second.
“Y/N!” Joshua exclaimed when he found you at the café. You were waiting patiently for him. It was the first week back from winter break, and Joshua finally texted to meet up.
You agreed. You also decided that you wanted to confess to him, to tell him you liked him.
“Joshua!” You greeted cheerfully as the tall boy hugged you tightly.
How do you get more handsome every day?
It was true; Joshua was getting increasingly handsome each day, and you weren’t entirely sure if it was good for your heart.
“So, what’s up?” he asked once you two sat down in a booth, and he smiled, noticing you ordered his favourite drink for him.
“Uh, winter break was good. I spent time with family, and uh, Joshua, I have to tell you something,” you started, and he nodded.
“Me too!” Joshua exclaimed, and you smiled, thinking that maybe you and him were on the same page. Perhaps he liked you the way you liked him.
“Really?” you asked. “Okay, you first,” you said, and Joshua grinned.
As he was about to speak, a pair of long, slender arms wrapped around his chest, and a kiss was placed on his cheek.
You felt your heart shatter into a million pieces – all stabbing you at the same time.
“Baby, I missed you!”
You looked to see Nia slide into the booth next to Joshua, making you feel nauseous. You felt like a fucking fool.
Why would Joshua ever reciprocate what you felt for him? Why would he ever want you when he had a girl like Nia?
“Babe, you’re early. I haven’t told her yet,” Joshua mumbled, apologetic as he awkwardly smiled at you. Nia shrugged.
“You two are dating?” you asked, and Joshua nodded.
“We met when I went back home, Nia’s from the same town, and we hung out, and you know, over the last three weeks, she made me the happiest I’ve ever been,” Joshua said, and you could feel your eyes starting to sting with tears.
“Wait, baby, they just called my order. Be right back,” Nia said, kissing Joshua’s cheek as she waltzed away.
“I know you’re not her biggest fan, but I promise she’s kind, loving and sweet when you dig past the cold persona. I wanted to tell you, but I also didn’t know how. We weren’t really together or anything, you know?” Joshua mumbled, and that did it for you.
He never even saw what you two shared as unique. You were nothing to him.
“Does she make you happy?” You asked, and Joshua nodded, smiling.
“Then I hope she knows that her side gets her the most amazing man, but if she hurts you,” you started to say, and Joshua shook his head.
“She won’t!” he said excitedly, and you nodded, knowing that your ‘I’ll hurt her if she hurts you’ speech would be wasted on him.
“Then, go be happy, Joshua, that’s all I want,” you said as you gathered your things. You had to leave this café. You’d fall apart if you stayed any longer.
“Wait, you said you have something to tell me?” Joshua asked, and you shook your head.
“I got to go. Another time.”
You rushed, hurrying out of the café and back to your dorm room, where you cried into your pillow. You cried until you couldn’t cry anymore, then you cried some more. You cried until you couldn’t feel anymore. You cried yourself to sleep, knowing that the boy you loved was never going to be yours.
You would have to see them, Joshua and Nia. You’d have to see her with him, and it’d hurt because she had everything you had to live without.
~~
Joshua tried to balance, but he was failing. He would flake on meetings with you and study sessions or hangouts, which started getting on your nerves. You brought it up to him one night during a movie night.
“Stop making plans if you keep flaking,” you mumbled, and you saw Joshua glare at you.
“It’s not out of malice. Forget it; you won’t get it,” Joshua dismissed.
“Why wouldn’t I get it?” You asked, and he sighed.
“You’re not dating anyone. You’ve never been in a relationship either, so I guess you wouldn’t get it,” he mumbled, and you scoffed at him.
“I don’t have to be doing either of those things to call you out on being a shit friend,” you retorted, making Joshua scoff.
“You only just made friends, so please don’t act like you have any authority on what friends are meant to do either,” Joshua fired back, making your eyes well up with tears.
“That’s so mean,” you choked out.
Joshua groaned. “Oh, for the love of God, I can’t be at your beck and call! I have a life! I’m sorry you don’t, but I do! Why don’t you go out to make some friends? I won’t be able to be there for you all the time, not when someone needs me more, and she’s a priority,” Joshua said.
His words felt like daggers, slicing you open, drawing blood, but all you felt were tears stinging your eyes.
“I’m going. You’re right, I should make more friends. Also, I never asked to be a priority, Joshua, but I didn’t expect you to make me an afterthought… But I get it now, you don’t need me,” you explained, tears running down your face as you hurriedly grabbed your bag and stormed out of his room and back to yours.
He didn’t come after you this time when he made you cry. This time, you were alone.
And this time, you knew he was not yours. Not anymore.
~~~
Three Months Later
You weren’t entirely sure what you were doing at this party; none of the people here were your friends, but you decided to go out because another girl from your dorm, Mai, invited you out. You chose to go since Joshua painfully pointed out how few friends you had and that you should go out and make some.
You weren’t entirely sure these were the types of friends you wanted to make. You weren’t judging them, but they were just different. They were more outgoing, the type to get wasted and hook up with each other. You judged none of it, but it just wasn’t you.
“Yo, Y/N, have a shot of this,” Mai said, rushing over to you and handing you a shot glass of clear liquid. “It’ll loosen you up a bit. You’re so wound up,” she moaned, and you sighed, taking a shot of the drink.
It burnt your throat, but it couldn’t compare to the pain you felt every time you thought of Joshua.
“Good, have another,” Mai said, handing you another shot, and you did the same thing, downing the clear liquid, shot after shot, until you were four shots in, your mind hazy, and you stopped thinking.
Instead, you soon found yourself on the dance floor, grinding against some guy. You forgot his name but didn’t care, not when his kisses distracted you from Joshua. And certainly not later when you were back in your room that night, he was down on his knees trying his best to please you.
“Babe, if you don’t want to, we don’t have to,” he spoke, and you looked at him, his chin wet with your arousal.
“Kyung,” you drawled; his name finally popped into your mind. “I do. I just don’t have protection,” you mumbled.
“Oh, is that it? I do,” Kyung said, fishing out a condom from his back pocket, making you smile in amusement.
You weren’t going to lose your virginity to Joshua. He made it clear that he didn’t see you as someone he’d prioritise, plus he had a girlfriend.
“Just go slow,” you told Kyung as you pulled your dress off.
You didn’t care what you looked like anymore. You didn’t. If Kyung could make you feel wanted, you’d do anything to feel that.
You wanted to know what it felt like to be desired, even if Joshua wasn’t the one to do it.
~~
You woke up to Kyung gently snoring next to you until you nudged him awake the following day.
“Hey, oh, are you okay? Any pain, any regrets?” Kyung asked sweetly, and you shook your head.
“No… Thanks for last night,” you mumbled, and Kyung smiled as he slowly got out of bed.
“Look, I would stay, but I also don’t think your head is in it because you can tell when someone doesn’t like you, but don’t worry! I’m not mad,” Kyung explained.
“Kyung, I’m sorry,” you mumbled as he got dressed and shook his head. “It was a hookup, no hard feelings, right?” you asked, and Kyung nodded, smiling at you.
“Chill, we’re good. But you know, if you ever see me around and you want to repeat what happened last night, I wouldn’t be opposed to it. But if you never want to acknowledge me again, that’s also okay,” Kyung explained, making you smile.
“I’ll at least say hello,” you joked, making Kyung laugh.
“See you around, Y/N,” Kyung said as he left your room. You sat in bed and slowly got out later to shower, your legs aching with a good ache.
It felt nice last night to feel wanted. You felt utterly rejected by Joshua, and you wanted to feel needed, and if doing things like you did last night made you feel the slightest bit wanted, then you’d do it over and over again.
So, you did.
You continued it. Going out, getting drunk, hooking up with someone random, and each time, you felt more complete seeing how they drooled when they saw you naked. You enjoyed every moment.
Each hookup was your attempt at filling the Joshua-sized hole in your heart, and though it wasn’t entirely practical, it was enough. It was enough to numb your pain.
You continued this pattern for so long that you lost track, lost track of how many people you slept with. You just were chasing something permanent in something fleeting.
~~
You hadn’t spoken to Joshua in two years.
Well, here and there, awkward hellos, but he’d become a ghost to you since he started dating Nia. You pulled away too because you couldn’t be around him, not when you felt your heart break a little more every time you saw him.
You hadn’t spoken to Joshua in so long, until today, in the final term of your last year of university. You had just returned to the dorms and were unpacking your things after going home for the winter break when you heard a knock on your door.
“Come in, it’s open,” you called out, and your eyes widened when they landed on Joshua’s scowling figure. “Well, hello to you too,” you huffed out.
You had gained more confidence in the two years but felt every bit of it ebb away when you saw Joshua again. Because when you saw him, you were always the broken-hearted girl who cried over the fact that she could never have him.
“What the hell are you doing with your life?” He asked, making you stare at him in confusion.
“Excuse me?”
“Don’t act stupid with me. What are you doing, hooking up with someone new almost every week? Do you know that this gossip followed me back home?” Joshua accused you, making you scoff.
“Why do you care? You already made it painfully clear that I was not a priority anymore, so why do you care what I’m doing?” you demanded, and Joshua scoffed.
“Well, if everyone I know is starting to call you a slut, then I care,” Joshua fired back, making you scoff again.
“Do you think that?” you asked, and Joshua sighed.
“If the shoe fits,” he mumbled, and you rolled your eyes at him.
“That day in the café, I wanted to tell you I liked you,” you started to say as you unpacked your belongings. “I started falling for you, Joshua. The minute you made me feel seen, kissed me, and the three weeks we spent fooling around, I fell more and more. I thought you felt the same,” you said, pausing to breathe.
“But you didn’t, and I had a Joshua-shaped hole in my heart,” you finished, and Joshua stared at you with wide eyes.
“All that to say, I make no apologies for how I choose to fix that hole in my heart, and I make no apologies for how I choose to fix what you broke,” you responded.
“Did you just quote Meredith Grey to me?” Joshua asked, making you roll your eyes at him.
“Shut up, she had great lines,” you bit back.
“I’m just saying you’re getting a reputation, and you know people won’t respect you as much,” Joshua babbled, making you scoff at him.
“I couldn’t give less of a fuck. I’m trying to forget you,” you lied as tears started to pool in your eyes. “I don’t care about the respect of hundreds of people who don’t know me, but I do care about the respect you have for me,” you asked.
Joshua stayed silent, feet planted on the ground.
“I’ve gotten my answer, thank you,” you replied, and Joshua sighed.
“You keep this up. You’ll lose everyone,” Joshua retorted, making you roll your eyes at him.
“I only ever had you, and I lost you the day you started dating Nia, so I think I’m good,” you said, swallowing the lump in your throat.
“Fine, be that fucking way,” Joshua scowled as he stormed out of your room, slamming the door on his way out, making the hole in your heart grow with every step he took.
~~
“Y/N!”
You left bed one night when you heard someone yell your name. Startled, you ran to the front door, confused when you saw Jeonghan.
“Joshua’s in my room, and he’s crying. He needs you,” Jeonghan huffed, and you rolled your eyes at him.
“No, he doesn’t, he hasn’t for so long. Tell him to go run to Nia,” you spat out, and Jeonghan sighed, running his hand through his blond hair. It was tousled and messy. You guessed that he had just gotten out of bed.
“Nia is the reason he’s crying, so I can assure you, he does not need her,” Jeonghan deadpanned, making your heart sink. Joshua and Nia had problems?
“Just go to him, preferably before he drenches my bedsheets with his tears,” Jeonghan rushed, and you sighed, following him across the hall to Jeonghan’s room, where you saw the man you were deeply in love with curled into a ball crying.
“Joshua?” you said softly, and you only heard a whimper from him in response.
“Go, I’ll be in the kitchen,” Jeonghan said, pushing you into the room, and you cautiously approached the crying man.
“She cheated,” Joshua blubbered out, and your heart sank.
You could only see red. How could she? She had your entire world in her hands and crushed it in one thoughtless moment.
“I’m going to fucking kill her,” you spat out, and Joshua shook his head.
“No, just hold me. I don’t want ever to hear her name again,” Joshua begged, and you sighed, giving in to let Joshua cuddle you.
“I deserved this. I said such shitty things to you. No wonder I’m in this predicament now,” Joshua sighed, and you rolled your eyes.
“Shut up. You said shitty things. It doesn’t mean you deserved this; no one does; I’m so sorry,” you said, hugging him tighter, earning a soft sigh from him.
“Y/N, I haven’t been a good friend at all, and I’m going to be one of those douchebags who’s going to ask you to be there for me now because I need you, but I promise this time I won’t hurt you, not again,” Joshua admitted sitting up slightly wiping his eyes.
“I…” you hesitated and sighed when you saw hurt flash across his handsome features. “Of course I will,” you said, making Joshua smile.
Of course, you would because you held onto hope. Not that you ever wanted Joshua to get hurt, but he could finally be yours after the hurt passed.
~~
Joshua was true to his word. Things went back to how they were, you two being the best of buds, no benefits, but still, he was your friend, warming your heart up. This time, it would be fine.
“You look nice,” Joshua commented as he walked into your room, his hands automatically moving to adjust the zipper you were fiddling with. “There, all done,” he beamed at you. “You look beautiful,” Joshua commented again as he took in your emerald, green floor-length cocktail gown.
You had just finished getting ready for the final year gala. You smiled at Joshua, and your eyes widened as you took in his appearance.
“You look just as handsome. Any girl would be lucky to have you,” you suggested, biting your lip when you saw how his expression fell.
“Let’s not mention that, please?” he asked.
“She who shall not be named?” you offered with a smile, and Joshua nodded.
“Yeah, she who shall not be named.” He smiled as you two walked out to your room and the ballroom.
“Shall we, our final gala as soon-to-be university grads?” Joshua asked, holding his arm to you, and you smiled at him.
~~
You and Joshua enjoyed the gala. For the most part, there was no drama, just a few odd questions about if you and Joshua were dating, but he quickly shot them down. By the night’s end, you were tipsy enough to spill the words brewing on your tongue for the entire night.
You still loved him, and tonight, you’d tell him uninterrupted.
~~
“Okay, what was so important that you needed to drag my ass out here and watch yourself! You’re going to fall over!” Joshua giggled as he wrapped his arm around your waist, making you smile shyly at him.
This was it; this was the moment you’d tell him everything you felt for him. You’d say to him right here that you loved him.
“Okay, sit,” you declared to Joshua, who only chuckled and then groaned when you pushed him down onto the icy-cold brick walls that adorned your campus. The décor of your campus made it look like a castle, and at this moment, you felt like you were maybe just in a fairytale.
Joshua was the prince, and you were the wide-eyed princess about to confess to him.
“Okay, now shut up and listen,” you giggled, making Joshua laugh.
“I’ve legit said nothing. The floor is all yours, my love,” Joshua smiled as he spoke, and you melted. That smile would be the death of you. That’s all you knew.
“So, this year, I felt we became so close. I mean, you were my first friend here, hell, you were probably my first friend here, and I know the last two weeks with your breakup, it wasn’t exactly kind on you. However, you could keep a straight face and smile through whatever pain you tried to hide. Inspired me,” you admitted. You saw Joshua’s smile, and you flashed him a smile before you continued to ramble.
“I also remember, the night after that awful party, I told you to come and help me out, and you did, and I remember just drunkenly mumbling apologies to you. I think that was the first time I expressed my gratitude for you. You’ve made me a better person, Joshua,” you professed, struggling to look him in the eyes as you poured your heart out.
“I’m not going to lie. Because of the alcohol, I can’t. Honestly, thanks to the alcohol, I can’t remember much of what I said, but I remember you smiling and saying thank you, so I guess I must have said something right!” You drunkenly continued your monologue, making Joshua nod at you.
“Now,” you said slowly as you stumbled to sit down next to him.
“I’m going to bring this up quick. The way you shut down when you and Nia broke up. It broke me. I hate the fucking fact that she failed to see how wonderful of a man she lost, but that’s her loss, not yours; I hated that you doubted yourself so much,” you babbled as you placed your hand on his, which made him look up at you.
“That being said, you inspired me even in your darkest hours. You were able to finally pull yourself out of that shitty headspace, evaluate it, and then reason. It’s something that I admire in you a lot and a trait I wish I also possessed. When I visited you the night, you found out about Nia’s unfaithfulness. I saw it was a different side to you. I no longer saw you as Joshua, the guy who always kept a straight face and never expressed emotions other than happiness and anger,” you explained, pausing to breathe.
“I saw a guy who was hurt, vulnerable, sensitive, but a guy who was honestly just emotionally drained. That night, I guess, would be the pivotal moment of our friendship because I saw you not only being happy and cheery but also having a different and more sensitive side of yourself,” you smiled as the words tumbled.
“Y/N, you’re going to make me cry if you continue,” Joshua mumbled, and you knew he wasn’t lying, especially with the way his voice was thick with emotion. You shrugged as you moved to sit down next to him.
“Okay, turn, face me,” you slurred slightly, making Joshua laugh at you as he turned to face you.
“How can I help you?” Joshua asked, and you grinned at him.
“Well, now it’s Joshua appreciation time!” you yelled in his face, making him laugh as he slightly cringed at the volume of your voice before nodding, allowing you to speak.
“Well, first, I’m jealous of you!” You exclaimed, making Joshua look at you funnily, “why?” Joshua asked, his voice small.
“You make everything so effortless, good grades, good friends. I know you put effort into everything you do, but you make it look so easy. I’m jealous of that,” you admitted, making Joshua blush as he smiled at the ground.
“Now, you remember how I said if I could use one word to describe you, it’d be perfect, well I still maintain that and let me break it down for you because I know you’re going to give me the bullshit that no one’s perfect, but listen up Hannah Montana, you are!” You declared, making Joshua laugh.
“Look, you’re a fantastic friend. Wait for not a perfect friend. You are excellent at giving advice. You are also extremely trustworthy! If I’m ever questioning or hesitant about anything, I can always count on you to give me the correct answer!” You rambled, pausing to take a breath before continuing.
“Jokes apart, speaking presently, I know this month hasn’t been too kind on you! I won’t dwell on the girl who shall not be named. I know how she broke you into two. Still, I hope you know that you fucking deserve better than her. She lost a good thing, and that’s on her to regret for the rest of her life, not you. You’re going to meet the perfect girl because you’re the perfect guy,” you breathed out, smiling at Joshua, who was now smiling softly at you.
“I know that sometimes you feel that it’s safer not to show your emotions, but as I said, you’re human. You’re entitled to feel and have every right to express them. I know you might find it much easier to ignore them and not deal with them, but sometimes, it’s not too bad to deal with them. All I want to say is that Joshua, if you ever need anything, a hug, a chocolate bar or a lame joke to cheer you up! Then I’m here! You’re one of my closest friends, and I never want to see you upset!” You exclaimed, pausing to take another breath.
“I love you, Joshua, and before I sort of end this obnoxiously long confession, I want to say that I know you felt that sometimes you weren’t good enough. I want to remind you that you are! You’re good enough, better, and stronger than you give yourself credit for! Thank you for letting me be part of your life,” you exhaled, taking a breath before continuing.
“So all that being said, I guess I’m trying to say something else too,” you mumbled suddenly, feeling your confidence drain out of your body, and Joshua nodded to you.
“What would that be?” Joshua asked, placing his hand on yours. You smiled at him as you decided to leap of faith and inch closer to him.
“I…” you gulped before moving closer. You decided kissing him would be easier than telling him you were head over heels in love with him.
You were about to place your lips on his when you heard her voice,
“Shua, what did you want to talk to me about?” Nia called out, and you looked at Joshua with hurt and betrayal filling your chest.
You got up and stumbled as you tried to move as far away as possible from him.
You could bear your soul to him. You could tell him that you’d take a bullet for him, and you’d still never be enough for him. You’d never be the girl for him. You’d never be her.
“Y/N, stop!” Joshua yelled out, and you shook your head at him.
“No, nothing; I just wanted to tell you you were great. I need to, uh, go. You go get your girl,” you mumbled, your voice betraying you as it cracked, and you could feel hot tears start to run down your face.
You tripped as you tried to run back to the dorms. You were never going to be the one for him.
You weren’t her.
~~
You’d never be her. That’s all you knew as you cried yourself to sleep tonight,
Joshua didn’t come to check in on you either that night, but you knew where he was. Balls deep in Nia, or so you could only guess from the moans you could hear across the halls. He was back with her.
You cried yourself to sleep that night, like most nights, but tonight, you’d stay away from him; he was not yours, and his heart would never be yours.
You barely spoke to Joshua after that night of the final gala. You found out later that he had gotten back together with Nia that night, and so you decided that you’d forget it. Forget him, and heal.
Divider: Five Years Later
Over the years, you thought you had healed, and you wouldn’t think about him every second, and you thought you were fine until your high school reunion.
~~
“Joshua, you’re strong now,” you moaned as Joshua carried you into your hotel room.
Frankly, you weren’t sure how you got here. You had shown up for a university reunion, and you and Joshua picked up from where you left off. It was as if nothing had ever changed.
However, seven drinks in, Joshua started getting flirtier, and you reciprocated his every advance until you were in this exact position, his arms around your waist, waiting to fuck you. You hoped he wouldn’t pinch you at this moment because if it were a dream, you didn’t want to wake up.
“You know what I want to do?” He whispered hotly in your ear, making you shiver in his embrace. “I’m going to finger you, lick you and fuck you till you’re trembling and begging to cum, and even then, I won’t let you cum. I’ll cum inside you and leave you tied to this bed. Your clit throbbing and you’ll be begging for me to let you cum, but I’ll leave you here filled with my cum.”
You whimpered at his words; your pussy ached for his touch. You nodded meekly at him.
Joshua slowly undressed you. He hissed when he saw your swollen pussy lips. He moaned at the scent of your arousal and traced a finger from your clit to your entrance. Gathering the arousal he collected from that simple touch, he put his finger in his mouth and sucked and moaned in approval.
“You taste so good for me, pretty girl.”
He stood up and slid off his clothes, his tanned and toned body, his hard cock long and thick. He climbed back onto the bed and hovered over you.
He placed his hands on your chest, massaging your breasts, making you moan. You didn’t wear a bra, so he felt your nipples harden and groaned in approval.
He slid your top up, exposed your breasts, took one nipple in his mouth and began to suck gently. He then picked up his pace and started to bite and tug at your hardened nipples.
You tried so hard to keep your mouth shut, but his mouth felt so good. You let out a soft moan. This didn’t go undetected by him. He slapped your now exposed clit. Your hips thrust up in response.
His mouth left your chest, and he moved his mouth to your dripping cunt. He started kissing your inner thighs, darting his tongue out and licking every part of you except your aching cunt.
You tried to move in an attempt to get his mouth onto your pussy. He slapped your clit again, except this time, he followed it up by inserting his long finger inside your pussy. You tried to suppress a moan, but it was too much, and you needed him to fuck you senseless.
“Baby girl, I see that you just don’t want to listen,” he said as he inserted another digit. He curled his fingers upright against your g-spot and started moving his wrist up and down. “So make all the noise you want, but you cannot cum.”
He continued his relentless pace and assault on your pussy. He leaned his head down and finally put his tongue on your clit, and you thought you were going to cum right then and there.
His tongue flicked at your clit, before he enclosed his mouth on it, and you lost it. You couldn’t control it, and you came undone on his tongue and fingers. Joshua growled at your release but didn’t ease up on his movements and kept sucking at your now over-sensitive clit.
He removed his mouth from your pussy, but he didn’t ease up with his fingers. He added a third digit and fucked you until you squirted onto his hands. It wasn’t long before the overstimulation turned into pleasure, and you found yourself cumming on his tongue.
You didn’t know how he could make you come undone so quickly and easily. You were shaking and trembling, tears of pleasure rolling down your face.
You couldn’t even coherently mumble out a word or move. You felt so good, and your pussy was still throbbing, and yet you ached for more.
Without letting you get more than a minute to recover, Joshua pushed his length inside you. He let out a growl and proceeded to fuck you, setting a relentless pace. He fucked you hard and fast, his thick cock hitting the right spots each time. He pulled out of you, and you moaned at the loss of contact.
He pushed himself into your dripping and aching pussy. At this point, he was just chasing his release. You finally used your arms to hold onto his broad shoulders as he fucked you into the sheets, your legs wrapped around his waist, allowing him to go deeper.
He was close. You could tell by the way his thrusts got more uneven. To tease him further, you clenched your pussy around his cock.
Oh, he was pissed.
“Baby girl, is that hard for you to listen?” His hand went to your neck, gently choking you, and he continued fucking you. The breath play only made you reach your high again, and he wasn’t far off either.
He came inside your pussy and stayed still for a little bit. Then pulled out gently, not letting his cum spill out. He moved his body down yours until his mouth reached yours again and stuck his tongue into your cunt and lapped at it until you came again, and he cleaned his cum out from you.
Swallowing, he moved up and pulled you into his arms, and you both lay on the bed.
“How are you, baby? I hope it wasn’t too much for you.”
“Was so good.” You were still basking in the afterglow of your session.
~~
You woke up later that night feeling rather hungry.
Sex does that, you assumed. You noticed Joshua was awake and scrolling through his phone.
“Hey, do you want to grab a bite or something? I’m starving,” you asked, and Joshua sighed, taking a sip of the water you left by the bedside.
“This was a hookup, Y/N; please don’t read into it,” Joshua answered bluntly, and you stood up and walked to find his clothes and threw them at him.
“It was a fucking question, Joshua!” you yelled.
“I know not to hope with you anymore, but I can’t help if my heart doesn’t want to listen. But tonight, you showed me that you’re done, so I want you out,” you snarled, and Joshua nodded, getting dressed quickly and walking out of your door and crushing your heart again.
~~
But that night was long gone, and so was he.
~~
You noticed a heavily decorated envelope sitting on your desk later that evening. You must have collected the mail and not bothered sorting through it. You opened the envelope and held your breath when you saw an invite to Joshua’s wedding.
Joshua weds Yuri the card read, and for once, you felt pain, but unlike the past, it felt dull. It didn’t feel like you were being stabbed in the heart.
You RSVPed as soon as possible. You wanted to go.
So, you did. You watched the ceremony, and the happy couple exchanged their vows, and you approached Joshua to talk outside after the reception.
“I need to talk to you. I didn’t invite you to hurt you. I invited you because you’re a friend,” he started to say, and you nodded.
“Then, as a friend, I need you to listen to me one last time,” you pleaded.
Joshua nodded as he sat down on the bench outside the castle, his actions reminiscent of the time you confessed to him, but this time, it’d be different because you were different. Everything was different now.
“Look, thank you for being so brave throughout the wedding. I know it couldn’t have been easy,” Joshua started to say.
You had to take a deep breath to not scoff at his words. Did he still think you were in love with him after all these years?
Truthfully, you will always love him. He was your first love. How could you ever forget him? How could you forget the nights when he’d pleasure you and look at you like you were the only one in the world? But more importantly, how could you forget the nights when he held you while you cried, wiped away every tear and kissed away every insecurity? How could you forget the boy who made you feel beautiful for the first time?
But most importantly, how could you ever be the boy who kept breaking your heart repeatedly, and yet you kept forgiving him because you hoped that one day he’d wake up and realise that he loved you too?
But it was too late for all of that.
You were standing at his wedding, well outside the chapel, and you watched the entire night as Joshua exchanged his vows with someone who was not you. Your eyes moved to his left hand and zeroed in on the gold band that adorned his long finger, his ring finger. The finger that he’d always leave empty when he wore jewellery because he said he was saving it for someone special, and tonight, he finally found that someone special.
You could never forget Joshua. But it had been ten years, and now you could look at him with a mixture of feelings, hurt, regret, and a multitude of negative emotions. But tonight, what consumed you wasn’t all bad. You also felt free.
Tonight, Joshua gave his word to be with Yuri for the rest of his life and vowed never to leave her, and all while doing that, you felt the shackles of being bound to him loosening.
“I was about to confess to you after graduation seven years ago. I wanted to tell you that I loved you. Not that I think I needed to, I was babbling away how perfect you were, but then she came, and I felt like no matter what I did, there would never be a right time to tell you I love you,” you sighed, smiling at him.
“Over the years, I took it as a sign from the universe; maybe it protected me because the universe knew you’d never love me back, not how I did. After that hookup at the hotel, I said we should grab a bite. The first thing you said to me was that I shouldn’t mistake a hookup for feelings and that Joshua was when I realised that there would be no universe where you’d be mine,” you explained, making Joshua’s expression harden.
“This is my wedding night; I do not need to hear you say something shitty to me on what is the happiest day of my life,” he started to say, raising his voice, and you sighed, sitting down next to him.
“Let me finish,” you said, and Joshua pouted before nodding. “I’m not blaming you, Joshua. Yes, did we do stupid things that made me overthink and convince myself I had a chance, even if it was a glimmer of hope? Sure. But, all you ever were to me was a friend; you were my best friend, and you carried out your duties as a friend,” you explained, placing a hand on his, making him look at you.
“I fell in love with you, Joshua, but that’s not on you. I fell for the tall, gangly boy I met when I was 18, putting you on a pedestal and myself on the back burner. But tonight… Watching you getting married and exchanging your vows didn’t hurt the way I expected it to. It felt liberating,” you continued, making Joshua sigh as he withdrew his hand from you.
“We grew apart a lot, and it helped. It helped me think of you less, and over time, I guess I stopped being in love with you. And tonight, something clicked,” you said, turning to Joshua, who had an unreadable expression.
“What was that?” Joshua asked.
“I fell out of love with you, Joshua. I’ll always care for you, and hell, I’ll always love you, but Joshua, I’m no longer in love with you,” you admitted.
It was true.
Ten years ago, you tied an invisible string and pulled Joshua into your heart, where he stayed for ten years. He broke your heart so many times. Still, you kept him in there, holding onto hope. But tonight, when he said, “I do”, you felt that string lose its strength, inevitably weighed down and frayed over the last ten years, and tonight, it didn’t snap. It just—like your love—let go.
You let go of Joshua, and in turn, you set yourself free. Free from the ‘what ifs’, the nights where you’d cry into your pillow, wishing you were in his arms at night, but you weren’t awake. You laid awake at night thinking of him for so many years, and you felt like you could finally let go tonight.
“You will always have a special place in my heart, but how I loved you was dangerous and harmful. I put you above everyone and myself. I lost myself loving you, and I lost myself trying to be the girl you could love. But over the years and growing up, I realised that sometimes, it’s just not meant to be. And fuck, ten years ago, or even five years ago, that sentiment, the meant-to-be bullshit, would fuck me off, but tonight, I get it,” you explained, feeling tears of relief pool in your eyes.
“I loved you deeply and immensely, but it didn’t work out, and that’s fine because I learned one thing, I’m capable of loving, and one day, I know I’ll get that love back, the kind of love I had for you, undying and unyielding,” you finished off looking at Joshua who smiled sadly at you.
“When did you grow up so much?” Joshua chuckled, his voice thick with emotion.
You smiled at him and shrugged.
“Time heals everything, Joshua. I want the best for you. I do. I want you to have the most amazing married life. Never break her heart. Never go to bed mad at each other. Always tell each other you love each other,” you babbled until you felt a tug on your hand, making you look at Joshua.
“I couldn’t force myself to love you the way you loved me, and I won’t say I’m sorry for that, but I’m sorry for hurting you, seeking comfort in you for my selfish needs. You’re so special to me. You were my first friend in university; we have a history, and I want us to maintain that friendship. I want us to grow old as friends and laugh about this memory while we bitch about how annoying our spouses can be,” Joshua said, making you laugh.
It was an honest laugh. It wasn’t forced. It was real. You were healing.
“I’ll take you up on that, but tonight, I’m setting myself free, and you, Joshua, congratulations,” you said, standing up and holding out your arms for a hug.
Joshua smiled softly at you as he pulled you into a hug, and you felt like your broken parts were being squished tightly together and being fixed, but you didn’t need to be fixed.
You just needed to heal.
~~
You kicked off your heels as you entered your apartment later that night, smiling. You didn’t feel broken or upset; you felt free.
Your eyes zeroed in on the notice board in your living room, where you had put up pictures of special people in your life.
You looked at the one you had of Joshua. You took it one night, probably in your first year of university when you started falling in love with him. But it was just him. All the other photos you had with your friends were selfies of you and your friend. Only Joshua was solo, in a way; you kept it that way for so long because, for so long, you held on to the hope that he would one day love you back, and then you could stick a couple’s selfie there.
You smiled at his photo.
Taking a deep breath, you leaned forward, pulled his photo off your notice board, and replaced it with the Polaroid from the wedding. It was one the happy couple sent out to everyone.
You smiled at the photo in your hand. Joshua would always be that story you could tell ten years later, but tonight, for the first time in a long while, you could sleep without agonising over the ‘what ifs.’ You locked away Joshua’s picture in a drawer where you knew you couldn’t find it even if you tried.
You smiled again at the photo of him and Yuri as you turned around and got ready to sleep. For the first time in a long time, as you lay in bed that night, you didn’t punish yourself, thinking you weren’t enough, assuming you missed every moment. You went to bed knowing that you had a great love. It just wasn’t a perfect love story.
A man of the shadows and a woman who belonged in the skies - fate could not have brought two more different people together.
But was this fate or was this a choice?
Pairing - Jeon Wonwoo x OC, Jeon Jungkook × OC, ft Kim Namjoon
Word Count - 9.9K
Genre - Mafia AU, lots of angst, smut and romance to come in the future chapters hehe
Warnings - guns, mild violence, mentions of blood, death, sexual tension sky high, mild exhibitionism but not really lol I don't know how to explain it but basically people think they are having sex in the bathroom?
Chapter summary - Every coin has two sides that cannot see each other but Na bi has finally seen them both. Yet, rather than the coin being tossed, it was her that was being spun between two worlds - She had to crack them before they broke her.
Previous Chapter
When Na bi's eyes fluttered open, the stars stuck on her ceiling were gone.
She blinked at the plain concrete, brows slowly pulling into a frown. That can't be right. She would never remove them....
The bed under her was a lot softer too. The room felt warmer than usual, there was a strange smell of damp wood and lilies, and the crakling of a fire was the only thing audible. Rolling onto her side, Na bi raised her head, looking around, eyes slowly adjusting to the dimness. She could barely see anything except the silhouettes of furniture placed around a room - a room that was definitely much bigger than her apartment......that's when she realised, eyes widening.
She was not home.
Instantly scrambling between the black and grey sheets, she sat up, forehead breaking out into a cold sweat as she frantically looked around in the darkness. Panicking at the lack of visibility, she slipped out of the warmth of the bed, reached for the floor length curtains of the nearby windows and pushed them open, biting back a gasp.
Trees.
Thick and tall and lusciously green trees as far as the eye could see, the vibrant colour eventually blending into black shadows. Birds sat perched on branches, some flying around, circling the bark and then up into the sky. The late afternoon sun struggled to seep between the canopies, barely illuminating the forest floor that was nothing but mud and roots.
She was in the middle of nowhere. She was in the middle of fucking nowhere.
Trying not to let the realisation terrify her, Na bi took a step back and then two, finding herself in the centre of the large bedroom. Her head began to spin as she turned, looking around, eyes falling on all the contents - a king size bed against a stone wall, a fireplace burning away wood, a set of stairs leading up to what seemed like a small loft, a huge mirror beside a small study space, books lining the shelves, couches placed below them and finally, finally, a door. Finding her only way out of here, without thinking twice, Na bi sprinted towards it.
She didn't know what exactly she was expecting on the other side, but for some illogical reason, it was not a house. To be specific, it was a corridor lined with a glass railing, opening to the view of an elegant, unfathomably large living space, ominously coloured in shades of black, grey and green.
Surprisingly, Na bi nearly lost herself in the beauty of it all - the way the rugs and couches were arranged, the way it all led into a simple, efficient looking open kitchen, the way the roof was almost two floors tall and high. She stood entranced, till her wandering eyes fell on the floor to ceiling windows that spanned across the space and the view outside - the forest.
Heartbeat picking the pace again, she turned on the heel of her foot and rushed down the stairs, the edge of her long dress dramatically caressing each step. Eyes immediately finding the large oak doors at the far end, she ran towards it, pushing them open with all her might, only to be welcomed by the sight of more trees. Taking one last glace at the house behind her, she submerged herself into the woods, trying to run away as far as possible.
And Na bi ran for what seemed like forever.
She had no idea what she was running from or where she was running to, but for miles, all that was around her were trees, trees and more trees. She tried screaming for help but it only dried her throat up. Her bare feet were now a collage of mud and twigs lodged in her soles, her dress formed a shredded trial behind her as they got ripped by the bushes and her whole body was cold and sore, begging for relief, for an escape. It was only when she could no longer breathe that she finally stopped running, panting as she gripped the sides of her hips, looking up at the barely visible sky, praying.
For what Na bi?
All of a sudden, as though her dormant brain had just woken up, Na bi compelled herself to think about what she was doing. As though her body was stuck in a flight response, she had just been running and running, without so much as trying to figure out why. Ignoring the searing pain in her head, she racked her brains, trying to recall the last of her memories. She remembered going to the grocery store today. She remembered being chased down an alley. She remembered the phone call. She remembered a black van....
Na bi took mindless steps, wandering further into the forest. That black van, where had she seen that before? Why did it seem so familiar?
She didn't ponder over it for long - she couldn’t when her ears caught the sound of water. Desperate for hydration, she ran in its direction, pushing her way through the forest floor, feeling the mud get looser beneath her feet and the air get cooler, stronger. As she made her way out of the last of the branches, her feet landed in the soft golden-white sand of the beach, eyes falling on the gentle waves going to and fro from the shore.
Na bi felt every cell of her body freeze. It was a beach.
She was standing right in the middle of a beach that stretched endlessly on either sides, curving away at the corners. She was standing right in front of the sea coming up to lick the sand one minute and going back to meet the sky the next. She was standing right in the middle of possibly the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen - the sun slowly making its way across the pink sky to sink into the waters for night. It was all so mesmerizing and stunning except..... Seoul didn't have a beach.
It was at that moment that she felt her head spin uncontrollably and before she knew it, she was one with the softness of the sand. Staring at the clear blue sky, hair fanning out behind her, dress blending into the golden sand, her eyes slowly found the darkness she was running away from.
When Na bi's eyes fluttered open, the stars stuck on her ceiling were gone. Again.
She stared at it, wondering if she was stuck in some strange time loop - she had the same pain in her head, felt the same softness of the bed, saw the same greyness in the ceiling. But one thing was different this time - this time she smelt whiskey and roses.
Raising herself on her elbows, she blinked her heavy eyes open, which didn't have to struggle to adjust, not with the all lamps turned on. The curtains were open as she had left them, except it was pitch black outside, like night had finally fallen. Pushing the thick duvet off her, she swung her legs off the bed, wincing in pain as they touched the wooden floors. She looked down at her feet to see they were no longer covered in mud and sand but had white bandages wrapped around, the execution of which was honestly-
"Mediocre at best, I know."
Na bi turned at his voice, eyes falling on his broad back as he sat crouched by the fireplace, poking the firewood ambers. His presence didn't surprise her. The whiskey and rose scent had already told her he was here.
"It can be better." She muttered as he stood, brushing the ash off his hands and tucking them in his pocket as he turned towards her.
"Ms. Baek."
"Wonwoo."
She breathed in the sight of him yet again.
He was dressed in a black shirt, black slacks, matching the ambience of the room. His hair was falling down into his eyes like he needed a little trim, his face beautiful as ever. Na bi gripped the sheets hard, ignoring the sinking feeling in her stomach. He walked up to the bed, getting on a knee before her, picking up her foot as he studied it, his fingers softly running across the sole. He then reached for a box she hadn't noticed by the wall and slid it onto her lap, opening it to reveal a pair of white sneakers.
"For whenever you wish to leave."
Na bi looked down at the new shoes that seemed to be exactly her size.
"How did I even get here?" She glanced at him who seemed to be inspecting the other tiny cuts and bruises she sustained on her arms, thanks to the multiple twigs and thorns in her way. "Where am I?"
"In my house."
Na bi blinked at him, shocked. "Y-your house? This is your house?? This is where you live??"
"Yes, yes and yes." He answered, counting diligently, as he got up and walked to the shelves.
"It's...." Na bi followed him, stopping at the centre of the room, taking it all in once again. Earlier she had missed the many details of the room - the tiny gold accents hidden everywhere, the splashes of green amidst the heavy tones of black and grey, the random placement of tiny tables and books and empty vases here and there. She didn't realise how minimal yet luxurious the whole place looked, strangely homely yet forbidding. Na bi was never really a fan of dark colors but somehow, she wasn't so repelled by the sight around her. "It's so beautiful."
"Thank you." Walking up to her, Wonwoo held out an ointment, looking pointedly at her wounds. "Apply this twice everyday to avoid scarring. My doctor strongly recommends it."
Na bi took it, turning the tube in her fingers, recognising the medicine approvingly before raising her eyebrows. "You have a doctor who's not me?"
He chuckled, cocking his head. "I need someone who'll be by my side till the end. You're not going to, are you?"
Na bi felt her heartbeat in her ears. His question seemed to holder a greater depth than he meant, yet his eyes as usual, remained unreadable. But she had her answer. Stepping closer to him, she grabbed fistfuls of the fabric of his shirt on either sides of his waist, earning a curious look, but he didn't stop her.
She pulled the tuck out of his pants, dragging the shirt up his body, ignoring his sculpted abs as she moved closer to him, breaths mingling in the loud silence, gaze fixed on each other. When she finally tore her eyes away, she looked over his shoulder at the mirror behind him, catching sight of the knife wound she had once tried to heal. It looked better, but definitely not at its best.
"You're not going to make it till the end without someone like me." She pulled back, hands slowly letting the fabric go, eyes meeting his again. "I would've done a much better job."
"I don't doubt that." He replied, stepping away, but not taking his eyes off.
"Is that why I'm here?"
He shook his head, amused. "You sustained a mild concussion earlier today Ms. Baek. Clearly, its affecting your otherwise impeccable analytical abilities." He smoothened the fabric of his shirt slowly. "Let's start over. What is the last thing you remember? Before you got here this afetrnoon?"
Na bi stared at the dark wooden flooring, trying to recollect the scene once again.
"I was coming back from the grocery store when I had this strange gut feeling that I was being followed. I looked around and there was no one, but I couldn't shake off the feeling that I was being watched. I started walking faster, then I noticed footsteps getting louder behind me so I began running and suddenly about 5 to 6 men appeared, chasing me down the alley. I tried to call the 112 for help and I was around a corner when a black van stopped right before me and pulled me in...." Na bi trailed off finally piecing it together. Of course. "Dokyeom. It was Dokyeom's van." She sighed, rubbing the spot on her head that she had knocked against the door when she was forced in. "So I've been kidnapped yet again."
Wonwoo let out a small laugh, walking away from her to the table, pouring a glass of water. "You've been rescued yet again Ms. Baek."
Na bi blinked. "From whom?"
"I'm guessing the same people who attacked me." He walked back, handing her the glass. "It seems you too have been compromised."
"But.... but I thought it was all over?" She took the glass from him, frowning hard. "I thought they didn't need me anymore since they already found you."
"Figured me, yes. Found me? No." He glanced at the darkness outside the windows, turning to it. "Perhaps they were trying to get a hold of you so they could bait me into coming out of hiding."
"You think they wanted to get to you through me?" She scoffed, taking a sip. "Why? What could I possibly mean to you?"
"I believe they've identified you as someone I care about."
Na bi looked at Wonwoo in the reflection of the windows only to find him already looking at her. Someone he cared about.
She cleared her throat, looking away. "So you're telling me they might know who I am, where I live, all of it?"
He hummed in response, nodding.
Na bi cursed under her breath, downing the last of the water. "So what do I do now? How am I supposed to go back home? That place isn’t safe for me anymore."
"I can have more men stationed around for your safety." Wonwoo offered, taking the empty glass from her. "They can guard your house, even accompany you when needed-"
"I've seen what these people are capable of doing Wonwoo, to both you and your men." Na bi placed herself between him and his reflection. "I may not be particularly afraid of dying but I sure as hell am not willing to lose my life over something this insignificant to me. There has to be a better option."
She could see the way his jaw tightened, hand gripping the empty glass tight.
"The safest place for you now is probably right here, in my house but I can't possibly ask you to stay."
Na bi swallowed the phantom lump in her throat. "Why?"
"Ms. Baek, my house is no better than a prison, if you can't already tell." He looked over her shoulder pointedly. "There's no life here - it's quiet and dark and lonely. Don't be fooled by the magnificence of the things around you. This place can, quite literally, be hell."
Na bi stared at him, once again failing to read his expression. Hell?
"But you live here."
He nodded.
"Then I can too."
"Despite seeing what's out there?" His head inclined curiously. "That was just the beginning-"
"Doesn't matter what's out there or in here." Na bi curled her hands into tight fists. "Right now all I know is that if I want to be safe, this is my best choice, you're my best choice. I can't trust anyone else."
"Can you trust me?" He smiled at her cockily. "I thought you had no reason to."
Na bi felt her heart thumping in her chest. She didn't have a reason. Not a single one.
"I'll..... take my chances." She drawled slowly, looking at him side eyed. "Unless you don't want me to stay..."
"Then I wouldn't have offered."
"Right." Na bi let out a deep breath, looking around. "So I guess..... I guess I'll be staying here then, till you sort things out."
Wonwoo gave a single nod.
"I'll need some of my things though..."
"Whatever you need will be arranged."
"And uh... should I stay here? In this room or?"
"If its to your liking." He slipped his free hand into his pocket. "There's another guest room down the corridor if you're not comfortable here."
"No no, I think I'm fine. I don't mind...."
She trailed off into a loud silence. A few days ago, she didn't know if she would ever see him again and now suddenly, she was living with him, in his house? Oddly, it was all aligning too well, too easily.
As she tried to navigate through the silence, she watched him, also at a loss of words. What was going on in his head?
"I have to go Ms. Baek. I'm-"
"Y- you're going?" Na bi stuttered. "Oh I....I just wanted to ask if-"
"In due time." He promised, walking back to the door. "You need rest and I have business to attend to."
"I know, but I was just wondering if....." She took hurried steps towards him, halting abruptly as she caught her reflection in the mirror, her question drying up in her throat. That floor length, flowery dress was most definitely not her style. Or even her dress. "Did you.... did you change my clothes?"
Wonwoo smiled at her, amused. "There's a lot you're yet to learn about the this place Ms. Baek." He raised the empty glass at her mimicking a toast. "Welcome to Asphodel."
And with that he shut the door behind him and disappeared.
Na bi shut her eyes as the warm water of the shower ran down her body, taking away all the mud, sweat and tears.
She was crying.
The moment she stepped into the shower, unwarranted, tears just began flowing down her cheeks. She wasn't particularly upset or sad or hurt by anything, just.... tired. Tired of it all. Tired of always running, tired of never being allowed to stop, tired of never being able to take a breath in peace. Everything had barely just fallen into place and she was already exhausted.
Scrubbing a very sweetly scented soap down her body, she cleaned herself, wondering if it will truly wash away all that was dirty about her. She didn't like anything about the way things had turned out. She didn't like Wonwoo walking back into her life again. She didn't like having to stay in his house. She didn't like any part of what she was about to do. But with a mask on her face, she pushed through it, knowing why it was necessary to.
When she opened her eyes, everything around her spun again and her empty stomach attempted to throw up nothing. She needed to get over this concussion as soon as possible so she could function at her best again. She needed to get it together.
Wrapping a towel around her body, she vigorously rubbed another one into her wet hair, catching sight of her reflection in the large mirror above the sink. She looked worse now that she was cleaner - the dark circles stood out more, her eyes were swollen and empty, cheeks sinking into her face. Leaning forward onto the ledge of the sink she stared at herself, whispering.
"Get it together Na bi. You need to get it together."
Knowing she had no other clothes in this house, she settled on wearing the same long dress again, wondering who's it was. If she wasn't wrong, she hadn't woken up in this dress the first time. She was definitely wearing something red - she remembered catching sight of it in the reflections of the windows and in the pieces that lay torn on the forest floor. This dress didn't have a single rip on it, it wasn't the same.
The walk in closet beside the bathroom wasn't the same either. When Na bi went past it about half an hour ago, she was certain it was empty but looking at it now, her jaw dropped. Every shelf was full. There were dresses, pants, blouses, all kinds of footwear, bags, accessories, and in the drawers, even neatly folded innerwear. That wasn't even the surprising part - it was the fact that nearly everything in here was blue. There were a hundred different shades of it splayed before her, some light, some dark, some patterned, but all of them were most definitely blue. He still remembered.
Na bi felt her lips involuntarily curl into a small smile as she walked in slowly, getting a closer look of it all. It wasn't all her style and every piece looked new, like the kind who's price tag carried a number way too big. On the ottomon, there were more things laid out for her use - a neatly folded nightgown, a fresh set of white bandages, and a bottle of shea butter body lotion, the only scent she ever used. He....noticed?
Her smile slipped away from her as his words rang in her ears. I believe they've identified you as someone I care about. Everything in this space was a testament of that. But why on earth did he care about her? How did he manage to arrange for whatever she needed and so much more? Why did he even bother?
Ignoring the bandages and lotion, she grabbed the nightgown and changed into it, taking one last look at herself in the floor length mirror, sighing, reminding herself yet again.
"Get yourself together Na bi."
When she walked down the stairs of the loft, back into the room, the smell made her insides turn ravenously. On the table was a plate of hot kimchi rice, the scent so alluring, that the moment she laid her eyes on it, she rushed to devour it, not caring for the way it burned her mouth. Breathing in relief as life flooded back into her, she sank onto the couch nearby, chomping away on the unbelievably delicious meal. Glancing at the clock, she realised this was her first meal in over 24 hours - her day had been a whirlwind for a while now.
Everything was supposed to end 10 days ago. Wonwoo was gone, the threat on her life was gone, the whole fiasco was over. All that she was left to deal with was her idiotic month long suspension.
At first Na bi was furious about it - it was unfair, illogical and no one was even willing to listen to her side of the story. But eventually, she got around it - afterall, she was finally getting a break. She had the time to spend on herself, to catch up on those shows she stopped watching years ago, to make her home a more habitable place, perhaps even shift to a nicer neighbourhood, closer to the hospital. She could now try to learn making something other than the damn kimbap, she could peacefully listen to her favourite artists, she could maybe date once again.
Na bi's throat tightened as she thought of Jungkook. Following her suspension, he had been the sweetest person possible, constantly checking up on her, making sure she was doing fine, even cheering her up with a handmade pretty bracelet of butterflies that was now missing from her hand. Na bi felt like she was finally finding solace in a decent, appropriate person, even looking forward to going out with him, curious to learn more. It was on her fourth date with him that things changed. Forever and for good.
They had gone to his favourite pizza place just the day before for what he called the best pizza in the world. Na bi had to agree, it was truly better than any pizza she had before. In fact, it was so good and she had focused on gobbling it down so fast, she barely remembered the conversation he was trying to have with her. Now they were out at her favourite restaurant, an Indian place in the middle of the city and as usual, the food was absolutely delicious.
Na bi wasn't a huge fan of cocktails, and considering they had quite a lot of beer just the day before, she straight up refused the drink Jungkook ordered for them. He insisted, asking her to just try it once and to her surprise, it wasn't too bad. In fact, it was nice enough for her to finish a whole glass in one gulp, making her head immediately spin. As she tried to pull herself together and stared at Jungkook who turned to order another glass..... everything clicked into place. Everything finally made sense.
Jungkook. Police officer Jeon Jungkook. The seemingly sweet, innocent Jeon Jungkook who was handing her another drink. A drink that tasted the same the night she first met him, the night she first went out with him, and every night he insisted she drink with him.
Third time is fate Dr. Baek.
"Jungkook."
He looked at her, eyes innocently big, features molded in question.
"We need to talk."
"Yeah sure, is something wrong? Are you-"
"Not here." She got up, nearly toppling her chair as she began walking away. Jungkook looked confused till he saw her head towards the washrooms, his expression changing as he followed. Hesitating, he stepped into the ladies room where she had disappeared into.
"Na bi, I shouldn't-"
He choked to a stop as his eyes fell on her standing right in the middle, sliding her thong down her legs from underneath her dress. Ignoring his absolutely stunned expression, she walked past him, hanging it on the handle of the door as a very evident symbol of what was about to happen inside and shut it. Jungkook watched as she walked back, softly brushing against his shoulder and slid onto the granite counter of the sink, beckoning him closer. Jungkook took a wavering step towards her.
"You wanna do it here?......"
His words drowned out as she pulled him by the collar, smashing her lips onto his, making him groan against it. At first he didn't respond, holding himself back from causing a scene in a very inappropriate place but when she softly bit his lower lip, Mingyu couldn't stop himself anymore. Running his hands up her thighs under the dress, he gripped them hard, pulling her closer, right against his chest, wrapping her legs against his waist as his tongue slipped into her mouth.
They had kissed after their dates, in the car, on the streets but it was nothing like this. She hadn't felt him like this since that night in the bar. The thought of their first meeting twisted something inside her guts. How did she not realise? There was no such thing as a coincidence, everything happened for a reason.
Moaning against her skin, Jungkook moved down her jaw, latching himself against her neck. Na bi let her hands wander down his chest, trailing them to his back, finally, finally getting hold of what she wanted.
The look on Jungkook's face was of pure betrayal when he stepped back realising what had happened - when his eyes fell on the gun in her hands, the one she just pulled out of his holster. Na bi looked at it before looking up at him, face looking equally betrayed.
"Na bi, that's dangerous. It could-"
"I'm not an idiot Jungkook, I know what a gun does." She caressed it carefully before raising it, pointing right at his chest, making him flinch. "I, however, don't know what you do, which makes you more dangerous."
Jungkook frowned at her. "What do you mean?"
"I was a fool to not see beyond your sweet little boy act." She cocked her head at him. "You've been drugging me."
His Adams apple shifted as a drop of sweat rolled down his neck.
"That's not true."
"I know my tolerance Jungkook. I know what alcohol does to me, I know how much I can handle. Yet every time I had a drink with you, things just did not go right. I had less control over myself, my actions were more impulsive," She recalled that night she kissed Wonwoo - it was the first night she met Jungkook. That night, when she had that ridiculous dream about him, that was also after meeting Jungkook. "I thought I was losing it. Turns out its been you all along."
Jungkook exhaled, defeated. "I can explain-"
"You can explain drugging me?" She looked at him incredulously. All this while she had only suspected but his attempt to clarify confirmed it. "Jungkook, aren't you a cop? How could you-"
"I'm not."
Na bi felt fear grip her throat. Jungkook ran his hands through his hair, kicking wall behind him frustrated, making her flinch and grip the gun in her hand tighter.
"But you came to the ER that day. You were wearing a uniform....."
"I am a cop, but not really. I....." He looked at the gun still pointed to him and pulled out a badge from his pocket. "I'm a member of the NIS, National Intelligence Service of Korea and I've been working undercover as a cop because I'm on a mission. A mission to get Seoul's infamous, or rather I should say, barely known mastermind," He walked up to her, eyes surprisingly narrowing in accusation. "One.Who aka the One Who Has No Name."
If Na bi wasn't already sitting, she was certain she would have felt the ground slip beneath her feet. Wonwoo? Jungkook was looking for Wonwoo. Through her.
"Who-"
"You can drop the act Na bi, I'm aware that you know him." He leaned closer. "I know a lot more than you think."
Na bi stared at him, speechless.
"I was hoping everyone was wrong. I was hoping that you were not one of them. I really hoped...." Jungkook stared at the gun in her hands. "Perhaps I was wrong."
"What do you mean?" Na bi felt her ears turn hot, as panic rose in her and she finally lowered the weapon. "You think.... you think I'm with him?"
"You did side with a criminal-"
"I did not side with anyone."
"Did you not let his men escape from the hospital?"
"No! God, no, I had nothing to do with that-"
"Did you not let him hide in your house?" Na bi's mouth hung open, unable to say anything. "Did you not let him safely leave from there?"
"You're reading everything wrong." She slid off the surface, when Jungkook moved away from, like her inability to give any answer had given him all his answers. "It's not like that-"
"Did he or not stay in your house?"
"He was injured. He came to me bleeding, I gave him a few stitches." She looked at him desperately. "I'm a doctor Jungkook, I just did my job-"
"Why didn't you call the cops?"
That was a question many people had asked her. Wonwoo, Jihoon, she herself and now Jungkook. Every time she didn't really have a valid answer.
"He was right there, he would know!" She justified, covering up her actions. "My life would be in danger. I'm sorry I wasn't able to think beyond myself-"
"Is that the only reason?" Jungkook neared her, making her take a scared step back. "Not because you're working for him?"
"No!" Na bi looked at him incredulously. "Of course not. Why would you even-"
"We found bullets in your house Na bi." He clenched his jaw. "In the kitchen drawer. There were bullets that belong to the make of a gun that, forget legal, is not even found in this country-"
"You searched my house? How could you-"
"You were helping a criminal!" Jungkook raised his voice, the sharp sound of it nothing like she had ever heard before. "You chose to protect him, a man who's responsible for what happened to your friend. You chose to-"
"My friend?" Na bi's eyes widened. "You... you know about Ana?"
Jungkook leaned against the door of the stall behind him. "Ana was the reason it all started."
He took a shaky breath, taking his phone out, scrolling through it, before holding it up. "She's dead."
The moment her eyes fell on the image, Na bi instantly felt everything in her stomach violently turn. It was her. It was Ana lying on the ground, lifeless, blood all around, her wrists slit. Both of them.
Na bi leaned against the wall behind, to stop her knees from giving away.
"When....when did that happen?" Her voice barely left her. "What happened?"
"The day after our second date." Jungkook recalled. My men have found lead on Ana. "It was One.Who."
"No." Na bi whispered. I will do what I can. "How can it be him, he promised-"
"And he's the epitome of goodness so of course he'd stand by it, right?" Jungkook looked at her scoffing. "You see that, the slits on both her wrists? I'm sure you're not unfamiliar with that in the ER. That's his signature, Na bi. That's how he kills, by letting his prey slowly bleed to death. That's how Tartarus functions."
Na bi frowned, confused and overwhelmed. "What's Tartarus?"
Jungkook raised an eyebrow. "You don't know Tartarus?"
Na bi swallowed the bile rising in her throat again, feeling anger course through her veins. "For the last fucking time, I don't know a damn thing. I don't know anything because I have no part to play in any of this. Why won't you believe me?"
Jungkook stared at her in thought for a bit before he continued. "Tartarus is One.Who's secret organisation, made of criminals, assassin's, fighters and many others. They wreck havoc in the city to get what they want and if they don't, then they kill, using their signature move to send a message." Jungkook sighed, "Tartarus used to be run by the Blackjack before he was taken down in the WipeOut. We assumed after his death the organisation would have crumbled but it seems to have shifted to a new leader and is operating more ruthlessly and more efficiently from the shadows." Jungkook stared at himself in the mirror, his voice strained with anger. "They've been showing us hell for years now and we barely know anything about them - who One.Who is, how to identify the people working for him, where they operate from, what-"
"Ana knew." Na bi whispered softly. "Ana knew who he is. She knew where to find him."
Jungkook frowned at her. "How would Ana know?"
"I don't know. He doesn't either. He said he wanted to find her so he could ask her himself. He said he had a lead on her location that night but...."
"Perhaps he's gotten the answers he wanted" Jungkook mulled. "and then got rid of her, now that she's of no use-"
"Don't talk about her like that-"
"You're mad at me? What about the man who actually-"
"I know!" Na bi slammed the granite. A violent desire to claw out her own skin ran through her body. She saved a murderer. If she hadn't perhaps Ana would still be alive. Perhaps she would've been okay. It was all her fault.
"How did you...." She looked up at the man before her. "I need you to start from the beginning Jungkook. I feel like I'm losing my mind."
Jungkook held out his hand slowly. "Give me the gun and we'll talk."
She looked at him disbelief. "You really think I'm with him?"
"I don't, I want to believe you're innocent because my gut says so. I've been waiting to hear your side of the story, I promise but, " He sighs. ".... please, let's just put the gun aside."
Na bi shook her head. "I've had enough placing blind trust in people. The gun stays with me. Either you talk or I use it." She raised it, pointing at his chest once more. "And don't doubt it, I know how to."
Jungkook stayed silent, staring at her like he was weighing his odds.
"A few weeks ago, a missing report for Ana was filed at a local police station." He started. "When the cops investigated, they felt her disappearance was suspicious so they sent the case to us. Most cases that disappear for too long tend to be linked to One.Who and usually, we either find them dead or our investigation reaches a dead end. As usual, without much hope, we began investigating on our own, following her trail when one day, surveillance noticed a woman broke into her house." Jungkook looked at her pointedly. "You."
Na bi frowned at him. "Those people in her house that day were....you guys?"
Jungkook nodded. "Local police. We had them keep the house under observation, as a part of protocol. Usually it doesn't lead to anything significant but that day, we saw you. More suspiciously, as we tried to go after you, you were picked up and rescued in a flash, making us wonder how you might be involved in all this."
Stupid Dokyeom and his stupid black van.
"We found your fingerprints on the closet and managed to identify you on our database. We wanted to get a hold of you first without making a legal scene, just to verify facts before taking any action but you were guarded 24/7. There were people who always had their eye on you, who were always looking out for you, it was nearly impossible. We couldn't approach you as investigators and that's why I met you in the bar."
Jungkook looked at her guiltily.
"There's a serum being developed by the R&D team at the NIS. It's still in its trial stage but it supposedly has the ability to selectively depress the nervous system, allowing people to lower their inhibitions and be more...." Jungkook swallowed, speaking faster. "...willing to speak, willing to tell the truth. We wanted to extract information from you with that but that night, you ran away."
Na bi recalled the events that followed their first meeting. She had shot a man. She had barged into Wonwoo's hideout. She had thrown herself at him like he was all she wanted. God.
"The next day the ER escape incident happened and our suspicions that you were tied with One.Who were confirmed." Na bi opened her mouth in protest but Jungkook continued. "I know you said you have nothing to do with it but there were too many things pointing at you. We also knew that he was out there somewhere in the city, unguarded and perhaps injured in the same fight as his men but the very next night, we received intel that he had gone back into hiding. That was on the night of our second date where I gave you the serum again. The night you tested my knowledge about the mafia. The night you didn't let me in your house."
Na bi shook her head, sighing in defeat. Everything was perfectly fitting a very, very inaccurate picture.
"Since that day, we established that you were one of his people and that we probably couldn't get any information from you directly. The plan was that I would continue to pursue you and given your suspension, we'd have both time and a sympathy factor to get closer and I would be able to find out more about One.Who but here we are...."
"How convenient for you, that my suspension would align so well...." Jungkook's face continued to look guilty and Na bi felt her ears grow hot. "You had me suspended."
"It was my team leaders doing." He confessed immediately. "I swear, I didn't know that was the plan...."
Na bi felt a pure, unadulterated desire to put a bullet through him and everyone who had walked into her life the last few weeks. She had become a joke, a toy for everyone to play around with, to use as they wished. If there was no knocking on the door, her anger would have perhaps started her mass elimination with Jungkook.
"Five minutes!"
"Miss, I'm afraid this is not allowed-"
Na bi walked up to Jungkook, and harshly stepped on his foot, her heel bruising the middle of his foot and covered his mouth, turning his loud shrieks of pain into muffled groans. The person on the other side of the door instantly shut up.
"Five. minutes." She repeated as Jungkook looked at her, hurting. She didn't feel sorry. It was his stupid low inhibition, truth telling serums fault.
"Now," She removed her hand and stood back, as he straightened himself, wincing. "Let me tell you the truth."
And Na bi told him everything. Her accidental kidnapping, her being set free, her being stalked, revisiting Wonwoo, him coming home, him leaving to find Ana. Everything. Everything except his name. That sounded like venom in her mouth, she couldn't bring herself to even say it.
"That can't be right." Thankfully, Jungkook spoke only after she was done. "He kidnapped you accidentally, then let you go. You went to Ana's house and he let you go. You revisited him at his hide out and he still let you go? He even came to you when he was in danger? For your help?"
"I told you, he was using me as bait so I was his safest choice. And apparently using me has become a very common mode of action these days-"
"Na bi, Tartarus is a massive underground organisation of hundreds of people. They lack humanity, they have no regard for rules, and they are in every inch of the city. Are you telling me a man with all that in his disposal, needed your help?" She blinked at him, lost in thought. "He's one of the most powerful people out there, even if there was a threat to him or he was in danger, trust me, eliminating it is not hard. There's clearly something else he wants...."
Though Na bi had an idea where Jungkook was going with this, she still asked. "What?"
"You." Jungkook stated like it was the most obvious thing on the planet. "All this while we wondered why One.Who would choose someone like you to be on his side, now it makes sense. He likes-"
"Stop, stop, that's not possible." That night they were making out, Wonwoo stopped her. Everytime they looked at each other, he never seemed like he wanted more. Everytime she felt the slightest of sparks between them, he would always pull away. Wonwoo was definitely not interested in her. "Trust me, I'd know if he felt like that."
"Think about it. Saving you so many times, having his men look out for you, opening up to you, listening to what you say, that's... that's a man who's interested." Jungkook stared at the design on the floor, brain working fast. "His world is different Na bi. Its not as simple as yours or mine. I think he was testing you, seeing if you'd actually be able to fit in his life and you do. Not only did you throw yourself at him-" Na bi winced at the choice of words. "-proving that you too were interested, you also saved his life and you let him escape. You're exactly what he's looking for." Jungkook looked at her, a strange something brewing behind his eyes. "And we have to make use of that."
If Na bi heard the word use another time from anyone's mouth, she swore, she would put a bullet through them.
"You said you're not on One.Who's side right? That you were just trying to save yourself and not protect him?" Jungkook looked at her eagerly and she nodded. "Then prove it. Help us. Come on our side and help us take him down-"
"No." Na bi stared at Jungkook like he was insane. "None of this is my business, I was never supposed to be involved in any of this in the first place. I've barely gotten out of all this alive, if he even gets the slightest clue that I might be helping you, he'd have me killed-"
"How about for once," And the next set of word were too harsh for Na bi to even hear. "Just once, you think about someone other than yourself? Do you know how many lives you can save if he's gone-"
"That's not fair." She said softly. "I am in this mess because I cared about Ana. I am in this mess because I cared enough to save a dying man despite knowing he was not a good person. You're taking to me about saving lives? I'm a doctor Jungkook, I do that anyways."
"Then do it for Ana." His eyes looked softer now, almost like they were begging. "Don't you want justice for her? Don't you want to punish those who did that to her?"
Na bi felt her heart thumping in her chest.
"Unless..."
"Unless what?"
"Unless you too have feelings for him-"
"What is wrong with you Jungkook-"
"You did admit to being attracted to him-"
"Attraction is temporary, fickle feeling. It's barely something you allow to cloud your judgement. " Na bi looked at him incredulously. "I don't know the man, I don't have any feelings for him, I never can." Disgust rose in her chest at the memory of Ana's lifeless body. "Not with someone like that. Just beacuse I couldn't keep it in my pants on a night that, let me remind you, you drugged me, it doesn't mean-"
"The serum only lowers inhibitions Na bi," Jungkook reminded her. "The choices are still yours."
"It was merely a primal response of a woman to a man." Na bi crossed her arms decisively. "But I am an evolved being Jungkook, I can differentiate between what's right and wrong."
"Then you'd know it's right to side with me." He moved closer to her. "That you should pick my side of this fight."
Na bi stared at Jungkook thinking about the last few days of her life. She was at the edge of a rabbit hole and if she let herself fall, there was no way out. No way back. She didn't want to get trapped again. She really didn't.
A sudden knocking frightened them both, making them jump in their skin, turning to the door.
"Sir, I'm afraid if you don't come out, we're going to have to call the cops."
Na bi sighed annoyed and finally handed Jungkook his gun which he immediately stashed away. She turned to the mirror, haphazardly arranging her fringes and smudged her lipstick at the corners, looking at his reflection.
"Would you rather people assume we had sex or have them find out that man from NIS, at gunpoint, confessed to drugging and violating the privacy of an innocent woman's life?"
Jungkook immediately unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt and ran his hands through his hair, neatly messing it. Giving him an approving nod, Na bi went over and opened the door to a bunch of waiters, security guards and a suited man.
"Ma'am, I must tell you-"
"We're done and we're going."
Na bi brushed them away, grabbing her underwear from the handle and tucked it in Jungkook's back pocket, widening everyone's eyes as she walked away. Jungkook followed, muttering a bunch of apologies, joining her as she stood by the empty road, looking down it.
"I think we are banned from ever coming back here." Jungkook looked over his shoulder at the manager angrily shutting the restaurant door behind them. "I'm sorry, you said it was your favorite-"
"There's a lot more things you should be sorry about that I've not heard an apology for."
"Na bi, I really am sorry, for everything. I was just doing my job." Jungkook insisted. "You know what's that like."
Na bi stared at the far end of the one way street.
"So will you help us?" He eyed her from the side. "Please, just think about it-"
"Help you how?"
"We'll figure that out. As long as you say you'll help, I'll talk to my boss. I'll convince him that your innocent and we'll formulate a plan. I just need you to assure me you'll help."
He looked at her so expectantly, though Na bi didn't owe him anything. But she did owe one person.
"For Ana." She turned to him. "Only for her. Only because I want answers for her."
The relief on Jungkook's face was like no other. He immediately fished for his phone, mumbling a bunch of things under his breath. Na bi didn't care enough to hear - she had enough for the day.
When the cab approached, she flagged it down and got in without so much as looking at Jungkook. That was the second last time she saw him.
The last time she saw him was about five days ago, at the Chinese place downtown who's address Jungkook had texted her. The moment she asked for him at the counter, they led her to the "special seating in the basement" which turned out to be a long corridor of doors, ending at a storeroom fermenting wines of various kinds.
The table in the centre was illuminated by a dull lamp throwing light on all the papers and maps and laptops lying askew. Men in black jackets stood around it whispering in hushed voices, while the men in green stood in the shadows behind, holding their rifles against their chest. Na bi felt something cold trickle down her neck.
"Lover boy, your girl made it."
She turned to a man a whole lot taller than her, walking past her to stand next to Jungkook, who she had just noticed. The bigger man flashed her his usual canine smile which she did not return. She wasn't here to exchange pleasantries.
"What is this place?"
"NIS special operations office." Jungkook answered, approaching her. "One of many. This is the branch we use for-"
"Sure, why don't you tell her the exact coordinates of all our other operative locations too?" The other man began flipping through the files before him, barely looking at her. The hostility towards her was not hidden.
Jungkook flushed, looking embarrassed. "That's Namjoon, team leader." He whispered. "That's just the way he speaks. He's a bit-"
"Bit of an ass." Na bi completed loudly for him, getting Jihoon to finally look at her.
"You have quite some nerve." He crossed his arms, anger evident in his voice. "I see why One.Who would pick you."
Na bi rolled her eyes turning to Jungkook. "I'm not sure why I'm trying to help if your all-knowing team leader doesn't even trust me."
"Trust is earned Dr. Baek."
"Like you tried to earn mine by spiking my drinks every chance you got?" She raised an eyebrow at Namjoon. "Or by having me suspended for no damn reason?"
Namjoon was just about to retaliate when Jungkook stepped up, concerned. "Joon, I trust her. Her side of the story aligns, it makes sense. You said you trust my judgement." Namjoon rolled his eyes, turning back to his files. "Na bi, please give him time. We've been seeing you as an enemy for days. It's not easy to accept you on the other side of the fight." Na bi stared at the unbothered man before her and nodded unwillingly.
"Let's make this short and quick." Jihoon pulled up a chair before her, sitting with a manspread. "You can start with telling us everything you know about One.Who"
Na bi stared at him angrily as Jungkook pulled up another chair for her and hurried to diffuse the situation.
"Joon, she doesn't know anything about him."
"She's met him, is there really nothing of value she can offer?" Namjoon leaned, interlocking his hands, elbows resting on his knees. "As far as we know, you're the only one who's ever seen him, Ms. Baek."
"Dr. Baek." Na bi corrected, deeply disliking the way he spoke to her. "I can describe how he looks, how vivid is your imagination on a scale of 1 to 10?"
"Save the smart talk for the sketch artist Dr. Baek." Namjoon scoffed. "We should arrange for one by next week. In the meantime, you can enlighten me about some other details, any clues that might help."
Na bi sunk into her chair, gathering her thoughts. She didn't really know that much about Wonwoo. He had a lighter that be never seemed to part with, he smelt like whiskey and roses, he could tell if a gun was loaded by its weight, he wasn't a picky eater, and he was good at doing dishes. That was about the depth of her knowledge, none of which were helpful.
"I uh know the address of the warehouse that I was taken to the first time I was kidnapped."
"They might have abandoned it once you rediscovered them." Jungkook pondered.
"Yeah.. but you might find some clues there?"
"They wiped a whole hospital clean of their existence." Namjoon added. "You think a warehouse would be spared?"
"There's no harm in trying." She gritted between her teeth.
Sighing, Namjoon handed her a notepad and a pen, allowing her to scribble the location down. One of the men in black walked up and took it from her as the team leader whispered instructions in his ear.
"There's a man named Dokyeom, who is his right hand of sorts. He frequently roams around in a black van, that's what they used to kidnap me. Twice."
"A name and a car colour is not enough Dr. Baek."
"Well that's all I have." She snapped. "We didn't exactly sit and exchange life stories."
Namjoon stared at her, then Jungkook.
"We need to get her to him." Namjoon grabbed his phone from the table. "She knows nothing, but if she's by his side, she might learn more."
"What do you mean?" Na bi's eyes flickered between the two men.
Namjoon's eyes scanned her up to down. "I hear you're his latest love interest-"
Na bi rolled her eyes. "He's not in love with me."
"In love, attracted, infatuated, whatever, I don't care. The key word is interested. If he's taken an interest to you and you have his attention," Namjoon cracked his knuckles. "then that shall be our weapon. You shall be our weapon. We'll put you right next to him, perfect to find and feed us intel-"
"You're asking me to pretend to return his apparent interest in me, collect information about him discreetly and report it back to you?" Namjoon nodded at her, like it was obvious. "You're insane. I agreed to help you, not kill myself. If he finds out what I'm up to, I'll be dead in an instant."
"Are you saying you disapprove of my idea Dr. Baek?"
"No, I'm saying that it's outright stupid and doesn't consider the risks that it holds for me." She sat upright. "I'm sure there's other things I can help with. We still don't know why and how Ana got involved in all this. Since I know her, I can work with Jungkook on that-"
"Dr. Baek, since you're so eager to give suggestions, let me remind you what exactly your position here is." Na bi could see the pulsation in Namjoon's temple. "You are still a suspect of being One.Who's aid, proven by the fact that we found your fingerprints in Ana's house and bullets in your own house. The only thing saving you from being prosecuted right now is Jungkook's willingness to take your responsibility and your ability to help us. Should you back off now, imagine the effect that would have on your life? On your career?"
Na bi looked at Jungkook in disbelief. He didn't meet her eye as Namjoon continued.
"You will be prosecuted. You would be going in and out of court for years, trying to prove your innocence, only to be trampled by the judicial system that functions purely on hard facts and evidence, which I have. Have you considered these risks for yourself?"
Na bi felt like air was knocked out of her lungs. "Are you threatening me?"
"I'm reminding you." Namjoon threw her a photo of the bullets laying stashed in her kitchen drawer. "This is as important to you as it is to us. I hope you will start to take it as seriously."
Na bi stared at the picture in her lap. She never should have hidden the bullets from Wonwoo. One stupid, stupid move and she was trapped.
Picking up the picture, she ripped it, earning a glare from Namjoon and an inaudible, concerned whisper from Jungkook. She had no way out.
"I don't have any way to contact him." She threw the pieces on the floor. "How will I find out anything?"
Namjoon looked at Jungkook who got up immediately, walking to the table.
"If our theory of One.Who taking a fancy for you is right, he must still have his eyes on you." Jungkook started. "It shouldn't be impossible for you to get a hold of him again."
"If he still has his eye on me, anything we try wouldn't work." Na bi wondered how on earth this man managed to work in intelligence. "He would have seen me hanging out with you for days now, and given your genius undercover role was that of a cop, he's not going to try and approach me anymore."
"Cops aren't a threat to him." Namjoon interjected. "Majority of the cops in Seoul don't even know about One.Who and the ones that do, work for him anyways."
Na bi's eyes widened. "C-cops work for him? A criminal?"
"If good men were purely good, evil wouldn't exist Dr. Baek. How do you think the man has been able to stay so powerful? He's got his people everywhere." Jungkook nodded at Namjoon in agreement. "More frustratingly, there is loyalty for him everywhere. Over the years, any of his people that we've managed to get a hold of would rather kill themselves in custody than reveal anything about him.... That's why you're our only way." Namjoon looked at her very differently now. "The only thing that can take him down is betrayal. That's what you need to do."
Na bi gripped her thighs to stop them from shaking. It was getting all too much. Too much.
Namjoon got up, joining Jungkook at the table. "What was your plan?"
"We need to make him believe her life is still in danger." Jungkook started slowly. "If he truly cares, like we assumed, he will try to protect her again. We can start from there."
"And if he doesn't?" Na bi walked up to him, standing on the other side, glancing at his paperwork. "What if he doesn't fall for it? Or if he doesn't try to protect me again, then?"
"I bet my ass this would work." Namjoon clicked his tongue at Jungkook's choice of words, making him apologise before he continued. "We have back up plans. If not this, then-"
"Sorry, boss." The black jacket man from earlier returned, making all three of them turn towards the door. "I have intel. I enquired about address she gave. It's an old warehouse that stores spare parts of cars. It hasn't been used in years but a week ago..." He looked at Na bi then Namjoon. "There was electrical issue, a faulty wire that led to sparks and... the place caught fire. It's completely burnt down, there's nothing but ashes."
Namjoon glanced at Na bi who let out a shaky breath. She knew what his stare meant - she really was the only way out. She was their only solution.
That's how barely five days later, true to their plan, albeit at a much earlier time than she was informed, she found herself being chased down the alleys. And exactly as Jungkook predicted, Dokyeom 'rescued' her yet again, bringing her just where she had to be - right by Wonwoo.
She scrapped the last of her food off the plate, forcing it down her throat though all she wanted was to throw it all up. She needed to eat, she needed her energy - things were only just beginning. She had only entered hell today.
Tomorrow, she was to begin her mission to take down its king.
Synopsis: They say a drunk mind speaks sober thoughts, and that proves true for you when you accidentally confess your long-time crush. Whoops! Fortunately, the identity of your crush remains a mystery. Unfortunately, Jeonghan is a determined menace who won't stop until he uncovers the truth. But… who is your crush, exactly? Well, that’s for you to decide. (A choose your own ending mini-series!)
Pairing: non-idol!SVT x gn!reader
Genre: SMAU, fluff, slight crack, non-idol! au, college! au
Warnings for the chapter: Explicit language, mentions of alcohol, lemme know if I missed anything!
Note: A Jackson Wang party? Count me in.
Chapter under the cut!
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