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@gaycrux requested #35 for wolfstar (insomnia) so here you go!

*

“Pads?”

Remus shuffled into the sallow, dimly lit kitchen of 12 Grimmauld Place, his bruised eyes landing on Sirius. He sat down at the small, round table next to him, pulling his bathrobe tighter around his frigid bones.

“Did I wake you? I didn’t mean to,” Sirius said softly, his hollow eyes staring blankly into the cup of tea in his hands.

“It’s okay. Why are you up?” Remus asked.

Sirius shrugged. “Can’t sleep.”

Remus nodded. It had only been a week since he and Sirius had come face-to-face in the Shrieking Shack for the first time in twelve years, and Remus didn’t expect him to be back to his normal, carefree self - he doubted that person would ever return. He longed for him, though; the version of Sirius that sat next to him was vacant and weathered. His steel grey eyes didn’t have the light in them that they used to possess, and the skin on his face was thin and worn. The last time Remus had seen Sirius, his dark hair had barely graced his shoulders; now, it flowed it broken waves past his elbows. The stubble on his jaw was dusted with hints of silver, the burden of time hanging low above his head.

“Want to talk about it?” Remus asked, gingerly taking Sirius’ hand.

Sirius blinked at him. “Not particularly.”

“Okay.”

Remus half expected Sirius to pull away, but he didn’t.

“It was strange seeing Harry. He’s gotten so big,” Sirius sighed.

“Yeah. I felt the same way when I first saw him at the beginning of the year,” Remus agreed.

“He looks like James - painfully so. Merlin, every time I look at him I want to cry,” Sirius mumbled.

Remus closed his eyes briefly in an attempt to blink away the pain of his words. “I know. It’s terrible how much he resembles him.”

“What’s he like - Harry?” Sirius asked.

“Well, he has James’ stupidity - I recognized it in him almost immediately. And he’s got Lily’s fire. He’s just … He’s so like them,” Remus said.

“I want to get to know him - be the godfather I was never able to be,” Sirius said.

Remus gave him a soft half-smile. “I think that we can arrange that.”

Sirius leaned back in his chair, letting out a heavy breath. “Everything is so different, Remus. I was so sure of life when I was younger. I knew who I was, and I had a plan. You and I were going to have it all, weren’t we?”

Remus swallowed thickly. “We still could, I suppose.”

“What, and just pick up where we left off?” Sirius asked, frowning.

“I never stopped loving you, Pads. I’m not expecting you to still feel the same way - I hope you know that. I just want you to know that I’m here,” Remus said, his voice barely audible.

Several tears slipped out of Sirius’ eyes, and he leaned closer to Remus, their foreheads touching. “And I never stopped loving you.”

Before Remus could lose his nerve, he softly cupped Sirius’ cheek with his right hand, his thumb tracing circles against his skin. He titled Sirius’ chin up, letting their lips gently meet. Remus sighed, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Sirius’s fingers found their way into the hair right above the nape of his neck, pushing them closer together. The kiss tasted like loss and hope, the salty burn of Sirius’ tears mixing with their lips.