Greater Boston PFLAG

We have a unique voice in the ongoing pursuit for inclusion and equality. Unlike other organizations, our core mission focuses on educating and engaging the family, friends, and allies of the LGBTQ+ community. From running groups for people who want to better support the LGBTQ+ kids in their lives to training organizations on how to be more inclusive, we’re changing hearts and minds at home, at work, at school, and beyond. Learn more: https://gbpflag.org/

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#MythBustingMarch: Trans Folx Aren't New

This #MythBustingMarch, GBPFLAG will provide a variety of threads about common myths within the LGBT community. Within the last few weeks, a series of anti-transgender legislation bills have been publicized in the U.S., exacerbating trans marginalization. 

GBPFLAG is here to say trans people aren’t new and that trans people deserve care and support. 

Michael Dillion (1915-1962) is documented to be the first trans person to transition from female-to-male through trans affirming hormones and surgery. In a similar vein, Roberta Cowell (1918-2011) is known to be Britain’s first trans person to transition from male-to-female.

As the centuries progressed, more and more trans people began to transition medically to complement their social transition. Before the early 1900s, trans people existed in all cultures and social contexts even if they are not publicly acknowledged.

Since early documentation, trans people have been decriminalized and de-medicalized to some degree. Yet, anti-trans legislation is ferociously being introduced and passed, creating a world wherein trans people are ostracized and marginalized individually and systemically.  

Trans folks aren’t new and neither is support for them. GBPFLAG is here to support you and any trans people in your life. Check out our transfeminine/nonbinary support group and our resources page for ways to support trans folks. 

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Mythbusting March: School Bathrooms

This #MythBustingMarch, GBPFLAG will provide a variety of threads about common myths within the LGBT community. Today’s thread is about the relationship between trans people and bathroom legislation and discourse. 

The present debate revolves around if trans people, specifically school-aged kids, should be allowed to use the bathroom that best aligns with their gender. Ultimately, this is both a trans issue but also a public health issue, as using bathrooms is a human right and preserves the well-being of trans people. 

Often, the people most vehemently against trans people using the bathroom that fits their identity are concerned about harassment and attack from trans people, concerning their livelihood with those trying to carry out a basic human right.

Ultimately, there are many anti-trans bathroom policies in place in schools, institutions, and legislatively. The first state law addressing transgender access to restrooms was in North Carolina in 2016, the number and support for these bills has only increased. 

When entering bathrooms as a cisgender person, do not judge others, especially if they don’t fit the societal norms of “feminine” and “masculine” presentation. “Gender policing” can be dangerous and marginalizes trans people from acceptance from society. 

When entering bathrooms as a trans person, ultimately use the bathroom that best aligns with your gender identity. Safety and self-preservation are the most important, so find support where you need it. Some spaces are now offering gender-neutral bathrooms which can be a better option for some.  GBPFLAG is here for you. Reach out to [email protected] with any questions or for support for both yourself or other loved ones in your life. Thinking about these issues is far easier than actually living them day-to-day. Taking care of yourself and those around you is the most important thing to do.

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Mythbusting March: Bi & Pan identities

This #MythBustingMarch, GBPFLAG will provide a variety of threads about common myths within the LGBT community. This week, the focus is on bisexual and pansexual visibility in the community and in the media. 

Bisexuality is defined as attraction to both men and women, whereas pansexuality is attraction to people regardless of their gender. Although the two identities are similar, they are quite different and should not be used interchangeably. 

One myth in the LGBT community is that bisexuality and pansexuality are just a phase and that people under these identities aren’t really a part of the LGBT community. Biphobia and panphobia can run rampant, yet aren’t addressed as much as homophobia. 

The “B” in the LGBT acronym stands for bisexuality, a direct address of this biphobia. As people, especially young people, come into their identities, some will identify as bisexual or pansexual. They may stay with that label or change, but each LGBT life is individual and shouldn’t be used to generalize the entire community.  Just like gender, sexuality is fluid. It is important to create safe spaces for all LGBT people, but especially those underrepresented. In Boston, check out the Bisexual Resource Center for more bisexual specific resources. Bi and pan people have always existed and it’s important to recognize this legacy.

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Intersectionality

Although February has ended, the support for loving your LGBT kiddos doesn’t end and neither does supporting people of other marginalized identities. February was also #BlackHistoryMonth, so it’s important to recognize how being LGBT and holding other identities intersect. 

Coined by Professor Kimberlé Crenshaw in 1989, the term “intersectionality” describes how as individuals, we hold many different identities at the same time. These identities can include gender, race, ethnicity, class, age, religion, sexual orientation, and disability among many others. With these identities comes the ways we experience our lives. 

With regards to race and sexual orientation, the LGBT community is not a monolith. The lived experiences of a White trans man and a Black trans woman, for example, are very different. Just because someone is under the LGBT umbrella, doesn’t mean that they share everything with their LGBT siblings. 

“Solidarity,” then, is “unity or agreement of feeling or action, especially among individuals with a common interest; mutual support within a group.” There is not always solidarity within the LGBT community because of the various identities it encompasses. Additionally, there may not be solidarity with other social justice groups and movements like Black Lives Matter.

Some questions you ask yourself are “In what ways are we similar? In what ways are we different?” The answers to these questions may not be clear cut, especially when we understand that identity can be fluid and change over time. As kids come into their own identities, it is important to give them space to grow and navigate their newfound identities.  Here at GBPFLAG, we provide various affinity groups surrounding the intersections of identity. Such groups are BIPOC caregivers, transfeminine/non-binary, and for grandparents, among many others. You can find meeting times and groups here: https://gbpflag.org/greater-boston-pflag-support-groups/. Ultimately, safe spaces are the most important for building solidarity!

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Mythbusting March: Women's History Month

March is #Women’sHistoryMonth! There are so many powerful LGBT women in history and at present. Being both a woman and LGBT can sometimes feel more isolating because of the multiple identities being held. So, this March, GBPFLAG is here to uplift these voices. 

In 1987, the U.S. Congress declared the entire month of March as Women’s History Month. It was after years of lobbying and organizing from women and feminist groups that this celebration came into effect. Each year holds a different theme; 2023 is Celebrating Women Who Tell Our Stories. 

In some women centered groups or feminist circles, the word “woman” is modified to represent a shift in attitude toward semantics. Some of these variations are “womxn,” “womyn,” “wimmin,” and “womban.” The removal of “man” from the word “woman” suggests a shift in feminist discourse about the role of men in women centered spaces. 

Yet, these terms have been co-opted by Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists, also known as TERFs. This movement seeks to exclude trans people, specifically trans women, from feminist organizing. This #MythBustingMarch, GBPFLAG will provide a variety of threads about trans inclusion and how to support trans people in these spaces.  #Women’sHistoryMonth is the perfect opportunity to educate and learn about women and how best to support them. There are many books, movies, and community resources to find this support and community. GBPFLAG offers a transfeminine/non-binary affinity group that meets every second Saturday at 9am. Email [email protected] for more information. Happy #Women’sHistoryMonth!

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Love your LGBTQ+ Kids: Black LGBTQ+ Icons

Since Feb 14 is Valentine’s Day, this month we’re looking at ways to #LoveYourLGBTKids! February is also Black History Month. One of the best ways you can support your LGBT kids is to become educated on LGBT history. In this thread, we want to highlight a handful of Black LGBT icons throughout history.

Possibly the most well known icon is Marsha P. Johnson. Johnson was an American activist between the 1960s and 1990s, being one the most influential and prominent members in the Stonewall Riot Uprising in 1969. Her and her close confidant Sylvia Rivera started Street Transvestite Action Revolutionaries (STAR), making a name in New York City for trans representation.

Stormé DeLarverie is another LGBT icon who would also influence Stonewall. Born in New Orleans, DeLarverie would be later identified as the butch lesbian whose scuttle with police would ignite the Stonewall Riots to happen. She is remembered as an LGBT icon and entertainer.

Known for his writing as activism and healing, James Baldwin remains one the greatest American authors of the last century. His publications “Notes of a Native Son” and Giovanni’s Room remain staples in the LGBT literature canon. Baldwin connected Blackness and queerness in beautifully written prose and served as a literary activist.

In a similar vein, Audre Lorde, another American author and activist, wrote about this intersection as well. She is known for her books Sister Outsider and Zami as well as poetry. Lorde self-described as “Black, lesbian, feminist, mother, poet, [and] warrior.” Her works are mostly circulated within feminist, womanist, and critical race studies spheres.

Although only four Black queer icons are listed here, there are so many both known and unknown. Whether they be actresses like Laverne Cox or MJ Rodriquez or politicians like Ritchie Torres, Black queer folks have always been here. Black history does not end when February does..

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Love your LGBTQ+ Kids: other organizations with with support!

Since Feb 14 is Valentine’s Day, this month we’re looking at ways to #LoveYourLGBTKids! This week we want to highlight ways to support your kiddo through external organizations and community events. A great way to start is reaching out to our own PFLAG, the first LGBT organization to unite families and children. Our greater Boston chapter is located physically in Waltham but also digitally at [email protected] and here.

Another great organization we often plug is the Trevor Project, a non-profit organization focused on prevention efforts for LGBT kids through hotline programming and outreach. Counselors can be reached 24/7 and are 100% confidential and free. They also provide support resources for better understanding LGBT kiddos. 

GLAAD (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) is another nationally recognized media organization that promotes allyship and matters of representation. They provide a great media guide (https://www.glaad.org/resources) with extensive yet easily understandable information about efforts for better representation. 

Another well known LGBT organization is the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), which focuses on legislative efforts supporting LGBT people. Their efforts cover a range of topics not just limited to sexuality (https://www.hrc.org/resources). They have various chapters all across the country. 

Sometimes a national organization is too big for the support your child needs. If this is the case, check out local community centers either in your town or nearest city. Often these centers are either focused exclusively on LGBT youth or are connected to these efforts in some way. They may host movie nights, social mixers to meet other LGBT folks, or provide great resources for getting involved. 

It’s important to remember that the best support starts at home. Checking-in with your LGBT kiddo, actively supporting LGBT efforts, and creating a safe space for self-expression are great ways to show up as an ally. Creating a welcoming environment allows LGBT to flourish and thrive in their identities.

We hope this thread helps you feel empowered to support LGBTQ+ kids! So we can continue bringing you these tips, please consider donating to our cause! give.gbpflag.org/givenow

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LGBTQ+ Books!

The ALA recently announced their 2023 Stonewall Award children’s and YA winners, honoring books relating to the LGBT experience! See the award winners and the honorees here: https://www.brilliant-books.net/2023-stonewall-book-awards

Learn more about the award and the books honored from the ALA’s press release: https://www.ala.org/news/press-releases/2023/01/love-violet-and-when-angels-left-old-country-win-2023-stonewall-children-s Also, check out the ALA’s full 2023 Rainbow Books list, with over 190 books for kids of all ages featuring a diverse array of LGBTQ identities! https://glbtrt.ala.org/rainbowbooks/archives/1444

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Courageous Conversations Merrimack Valley: A Rise in Hate Series 2023 - FREE Webinar Series

Courageous Conversations Merrimack Valley was organized in 2016 and works to advance and amplify conversations about systemic racism, racial identity, privilege, and antiracism. The 2023 series is centered around the rise in hate that we are witnessing here in Massachusetts. 

GBPFLAG staff member Ian Whalen-Stone moderated a panel on the state of LGBT+ individuals here in the state on February 8th. To view the recording of this panel webinar, and to learn more about the rest of the series, please follow the link below. 

View LGBT+ Panel Here: https://mhl.org/courageous-conversations-merrimack-valley-history-events 

Here is the full series schedule, and all sessions are recorded for folks who cannot attend:

January 18, 2023, 7pm on Zoom -Rise in Hate: Keynote Address

February 8, 2023, 7pm on Zoom - Rise in Hate: LGBTQ+

March 2, 2023, 7pm on Zoom - Rise in Hate: Antisemitism

March 29, 2023, 7pm on Zoom - Rise in Hate: AAPI

April 13, 2023, 7pm on Zoom - Rise in Hate: Immigrants

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Rock Climbing this coming Saturday!

Happening Sat. Feb. 25th (this coming Saturday): Rock Climbing at Rock Spot Climbing Gym!

Join us any time from 12-4 for a potluck and climbing. No experience necessary!

Tickets are $15 for climbers and a portion of the proceeds goes right back to Greater Boston PFLAG. Folks are welcome to join the social for free if they register as a spectator!

To learn more and sign up: https://app.rockgympro.com/b/widget/?a=offering&offering_guid=4af3c45fe6394ce396e7ccb2470aa775&random=63ea9c9aa084c&iframeid=&mode=p

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Re: NY Times coverage of trans issues

Last Wednesday, 2 letters were released calling out the NY Times’s coverage of trans issues (1 from its own writers, 1 from LGBTQ+ orgs), which the NYT blew off. The Onion brings us a great article on the issue: https://www.theonion.com/it-is-journalism-s-sacred-duty-to-endanger-the-lives-of-1850126997

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Love your LGBTQ+ Kids: Seasonal Affective Disorder in Kids

Since Feb 14 was Valentine’s Day, this month we’re looking at ways to #LoveYourLGBTKids! Since February can be a cold winter month, seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is in full gear. SAD can affect LGBT kids more if they already experience isolation for their identities. 

SAD is a type of depression that occurs with the changing of the seasons. Most common symptoms include moodiness, less energy, and sluggishness. Many folks experience SAD during the winter months when there is less sunlight, making the days feel shorter and the nights longer. 

SAD can affect kids as well. It’s important that kids get at least 60 minutes of play outside, but in the winter months sometimes this isn’t possible. LGBT kids can be disproportionately affected by isolation based on their identity, so SAD can affect them even more than non-LGBT kids. 

During the winter months, it’s important to support your LGBT kiddos. As a parent, you and your kiddo can watch a movie, cook together, do a craft, or a favorite activity together. You can also encourage eating a healthy diet and getting outside to go on a walk. It’s important to support your kiddo in any way!  Feel free to check out our Twitter threads on the best LGBT movies and books! And remember, if you need support, we’re here for you! Check in with your kiddo and feel free to email the office at [email protected] or contact our helpline: https://gbpflag.org/helpline/ and the Trevor Project has immediate support for kids who need it: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/

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Rock Climbing this coming Saturday!

Happening Sat. Feb. 25th (this coming Saturday): Rock Climbing at Rock Spot Climbing Gym!

Join us any time from 12-4 for a potluck and climbing. No experience necessary!

Tickets are $15 for climbers and a portion of the proceeds goes right back to Greater Boston PFLAG. Folks are welcome to join the social for free if they register as a spectator!

To learn more and sign up: https://app.rockgympro.com/b/widget/?a=offering&offering_guid=4af3c45fe6394ce396e7ccb2470aa775&random=63ea9c9aa084c&iframeid=&mode=p

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Rock Climbing Saturday Feb 25!

Happening Sat. Feb. 25th: Rock Climbing at Rock Spot Climbing Gym!

Join us any time from 12-4 for a potluck and climbing. No experience necessary!

Tickets are $15 for climbers and a portion of the proceeds goes right back to Greater Boston PFLAG. Folks are welcome to join the social for free if they register as a spectator! To learn more and sign up: https://app.rockgympro.com/b/widget/?a=offering&offering_guid=4af3c45fe6394ce396e7ccb2470aa775&random=63ea9c9aa084c&iframeid=&mode=p

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Love your LGBTQ Kids: Supporting a kid who's not out

Since Feb 14 is Valentine’s Day, this month we’re looking at ways to #LoveYourLGBTKids. Since February Break is next week and many folks are traveling, we’re looking at ways to support a kid who’s not ready to be out yet.

The most important thing: check in with them! They may already have ideas of what makes them feel safe. You can also affirm that they’re not any “less gay” or “less trans” just because they’re not ready to share that with everyone.

Traveling can be stressful anyway, and sometimes LGBTQ+ folks don’t want to have to explain themselves or their identity. And in an increasingly hostile political environment, kids may not feel safe sharing that part of themselves.

Some things to check in about: How to respond to nosy questions posing as small-talk? Like if people ask about your gay son “Oh, does he have a girlfriend?”, what does he want you to say? 

If they’re going by a new name, what name do they want used while traveling? Maybe they want you to use their old name, but maybe they’ll say something like “I hate it when you call me Jake, and I’m not ready to have the conversation about being Jane, so call me ‘J’”

Other things: Are there ways for your kid to stay connected with their community while traveling? Maybe visiting a queer coffee shop, or planning a quiet evening where they can do a video call with a friend.

You can also pack affirming clothing, like affirming underwear, so that even if your child doesn’t feel comfortable wearing their regular wardrobe, they can still feel like themselves in some small, private way.

Traveling can be tough for LGBTQ+ people, but by showing your support and checking in, you’re making a huge impact! 

And remember, if you need support, we’re here for you! Email the office at [email protected] or contact our helpline: https://gbpflag.org/helpline/, and the Trevor Project has immediate support for kids who need it: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/

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Thank you!

We are so grateful to our sponsors - we couldn’t do our work of supporting LGBTQ+ folks and their families without your generosity. Thank you to Ironwood Pharmaceuticals, one of our advocate sponsors!

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Thank you!

We are so grateful to our sponsors - we couldn’t do our work of supporting LGBTQ+ folks and their families without your generosity. Thank you to Fidelity Investments, a Champion Sponsor!