Well it's been 3 months since I've posted here, but maybe I'll start again!
I broke up with gin about a month and a half ago, maybe 2. Things were getting worse and worse between us and I couldn't do it anymore. He was extremely toxic after the break up (grabbed my face to force me to kiss him, posted a ton of mean stuff about me, still continues to beg me to fuck him while also posting mean things about me, and more). I'm honestly just relieved that I'm single again! But today he emailed me(hes blocked everywhere else) saying he really wants to tell everyone all my secrets but that he wont. I feel like its gunna be blackmail for him to use to try to get me to come see him at his aunt's house. I really hope not.
Since the breakup, I had a brief fwb thing with this guy greg but it turned out he doesnt support black lives matter so I cut him off. I've also been sleeping with and seeing willem, the person me and gin had a 3 way with at one point, and I've become the fwb to mike and kim, the couple I met off whisper who are super cool. I'm in love with willem, I cant stop thinking about them and we actually do go out on dates and cuddle and stuff but we've talked about how we wanna take things really slow and not get into any serious kind of relationship so they dont know I love them and I'm gunna keep taking things slow and just treasuring any time I get with them. Willem lives in souix city so I drive up to visit them about once a week and I look forward to it so much every time.
I've realized I'm really liking this seeing multiple people thing so I think I'm gunna stop allowing myself to get into monogamous relationships and I'm going to be poly for good. I've always said I can either be poly or monogamous but I think monogamy isn't for me. I talked to willem about it and they said they dont want anything monogamous either, so if they do become my partner (I really really hope so) I've already had that talk with them about it!
I'm so so so happy now that im out of the relationship with gin. Of course I loved him and I do think about him/miss him from time to time, but the lack of toxicity in my life has been wonderful. I do what I want when I want and I dont have to answer to anyone. I am allowed to actually have private things that are only for me and that never happened when I was with gin. Like I dont feel obligated to tell my various partners about everything going on because some of it is just for me and i love that!! Plus I get so much alone time that I had craved when gin lived here. It's amazing.
I also recently had my left hand surgery for the carpel tunnel and my right hand is coming up at the end of the month. My left is finally not keeping me up all night, it's only the right one that does now, so I'm confident that after the second surgery I'll actually get a good nights sleep after all this time of having this damn carpet tunnel!
Im still at red lobster and I love it just as much as before. Im also going to metro for culinary school starting in september and I'm hoping that'll get me a better paying cooking job! I'd get to do what I love and make extra money, itll be so great if I can make it thru the school part! I really hope so honestly, it's only supposed to take 2 years if you go full time. This first semester I'm only taking 3 classes but after that I'm supposed to be on a full time schedule. I know mom and dad would still support me and still let me live here if I do end up needing to take longer than 2 years for culinary school tho, which is great. Oh and also they're not making me move out until I'm done with school so I'll be here for quite a while longer, but honestly I'm grateful. Moving is extremely stressful, plus if I went to school and had to work full time to try to make rent too I just know I'd end up quitting school due to the stress. So my parents are doing me a colossal favor by letting me stay until I'm out of school. I'm eternally grateful.
Now that I'm thinking of it, maybe I should get them a big gift for letting me stay! I could start paying for a disney plus subscription that they can use and then maybe get something nice for them both separately too. I am absolutely gunna do that cuz I don't show them enough that I love them anyways.
Mady is nonbinary and using they or she for pronouns. They say they're officially done with Darius (they had gotten back together for a while) and she actually hasn't seen him for like a month now and shes seeing some other dudes, so maybe she really wont take d bag back! But I wont keep my hopes up on that. Them and Taylor moved in together but both are really struggling to make rent because they dont have jobs like mine where the paycheck is consistent since doordash doesnt give a regular pay to the drivers, they just make money based off of each delivery and it's not that much money compared to the insane gas prices right now ($4.80 a gallon today when I went to fill up). I'm worried for mady especially because she is planning on trying to live alone when their lease is up in a few months even tho she cant afford to live with a roommate. I hope she decides to come stay with us for a while before getting a new places because idk how she could afford it. I know this sounds bad, but I really hope they meet a nice rich man who will take care of them and let her be a stay at home mom like they've always wanted. Like that's been mady's dream since she was a kid and I think being a mom is the only passion they've ever really had so I hope it happens for them soon so that they dont have to keep struggling to hold a job when their autism already makes that extremely difficult.
Max is going to uno in the fall instead of Lincoln because he hates it there. I'm happy for him, I think more of his friends are here in Omaha so being here will be good for him I think.
Also 2 days ago the family got a new dog named ellie short for eloise 😁shes so fucking tiny, a little 10 year old maltese. Shes been sticking to her little dog bed since she got here, but she'll slowly warm up to us I believe.
