Takin it easy

lifeofeliza

[geeekforsneaks]

Don’t hurry, don’t worry, and don’t forget to smell the flowers. 💐

[geeekforsneaks]

🩵

[dk-thrive]

Two of the purest expressions of love are consistency and patience.

— Cory Richards, The Color of Everything: A Journey to Quiet the Chaos Within (Random House, July 9, 2024)

[geeekforsneaks]

[geeekforsneaks]

“Love came, and it never left..steady as the trees, continue to grow in love and support for your family and friends, as well as yourself.”

[geeekforsneaks]

Familiarity doesn’t mean similarity

Tips and tricks and rocks and sticks

Playing games the likes of which

Have burned you before

But you kept score

It’s a different name than before

Jumping Jack

Don’t step on the crack

You heard the rules

But forgot the jewels

Do you need those here?

Did you build up enough fear?

You missed the turn

Failed to learn

Guess you’ll never know

It’s time to go

It’s time to run

Why aren’t you having fun??

[geeekforsneaks]

I hate lowercase “i”s but we don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of love

[geeekforsneaks]

No one asked me to be a firefighter

But god dammit I have a bad habit of running into burning buildings only to find the calls for help are coming from the people pouring gasoline inside.

I burned my world to a crisp. I built a small bonfire with the embers. I still add a log or two every once in a while to keep me warm. You’re welcome to pull up a chair, but don’t fucking touch my fire.

[geeekforsneaks]

Keep your successes close, but keep those dreams you weren’t able to fulfill even closer.

That’s how the saying goes, yeah?

[geeekforsneaks]

We grow on our own time.

We go on our own time.

We let go on our own time.

For better or worse, there are things I know about myself. Try to push me, and I will go slower. Or worse.

But sometimes, sometimes, the push comes from left field, and it hits like a WAVE.

I have grown to be strong, but I know better than to think I can confront the ocean.

It was building for years but I didn’t see this until that blink of an eye. It was time to grow, time to go, time to let go.

You are safe now. Replace it. Throw it out.

[geeekforsneaks]

They don’t tell you how much healing hurts.

Those wounds that you find years later.

The scar tissue has hardened but your awareness is raw and fresh.

Who knew something could mend itself while pressed against the inside of the guard I had up to the world.

Who knew how much work someone was doing back there.

I think I’d like to meet them.

I think I’d like to thank them.

I’m not sure they did a great job but it appears they tried their best.

Still learning to take the reigns. Still learning how to try my best.

[geeekforsneaks]

I sang and danced my heart out yesterday for you, buddy

[geeekforsneaks]

It takes time to process.

Maybe for me and not for you, but then again I never knew why I’m supposed to know how “you” work.

It takes time to process.

I used to hold myself so tight- to stay steady- to not climb too high but also to not crash.

I trust myself to crash now, which is weird. But my body still doesn’t. My autopilot doesn’t. My body clenches. It locks down my mind. It refuses to decompress. It refuses to release. It actively works against powering down. I short circuit. I’ve been sending mixed signals of how to preserve this breathing sack of flesh and bones that I’ve been given and it’s a new user manual every year but the same engine is still running inside.

It takes time to process.

It’s a vending machine clinging on to the bag of rest that I already selected and paid for but it won’t let it drop. I won’t let it drop. I bang on the plexiglass wall of my vending machine chest to just make it happen, but I’m on it’s time. I don’t make the rules.

It takes time to process.

I don’t know if “you” knew the rules or if maybe you had the skills that I didn’t to make your own rule book? But some of you have been reading to me from your rulebooks over the years. Before I could even hear you. Before I knew how to listen. When I tried to listen (and when I actively tried to tune you out) but couldn’t understand regardless. Even when I understood but for the literal life of me I couldn’t comprehend. You kept reading to me. If you can hear me now, I needed to find myself first, to learn that the rules had to be adapted to work for me, but I’m starting to get it. It’s starting to make sense. You might not be here to see it, but I am. So, thank you. It takes time to process.

[geeekforsneaks]

The ease-up

I’ve never been good at that one; the ease-up, the yellow light, the slow down.

Bring me into battle and I will fight past my last breath. I will navigate our ship through each wave of the choppiest waters.

Invite me to paradise on a spring day in the grass and I will lose all sense of time and place. I will float with the tide until I am stopped.

Tell me a storm is coming and I’ll batten down the hatches and protect everything I know. I will protect everything I know.

But tell me that the storm is over, or that things are- okay, tell me that it’s time to ease-up. Tell me that, and I’ll crash.

Hold me until we get there. Hold me down. Lift me up.

[blue--fc]

Pictured here: NWSL Twitter/Tumblr/Reddit/Insta/FB

Monday January 6th, 2020

[sojiwater]

[stevesarnott]

Kelley O'Hara | ESPN’s Body Issue 2019